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 Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 11:29 pm
Scirocco was up early, sitting by the window in Lemon's study. He had a large blanket draped around him, and it made him look less like a 'lore, more like a mound of quilted fabric with a face. Idly, he traced Ashura's name on the frosted glass, and on a childish whim drew a little heart next to his name. It was pretty unusual behaviour for him, but he felt different, that morning. He felt like being less stiff and more expressive. Perhaps that was a sign that he needed spring to come, so he could get away from his overly-expressive brother.
Scir smiled to himself, though: Ashura was still with him. The arrangements hadn't really changed, though Scir had pushed the pillows aside and now slept on the floor, sometimes far on the side of the bed, if he thought he could get away with it while Ashura was fast asleep. That first night he had learned how truly deep Ashura's sleep was. Not even Scir's feverish kiss had roused him. Scir brushed his lips with his cold fingertip, thinking about that night. It didn't seem real, and since Ashura hadn't stirred, perhaps it had just been a dream after all. He watched the snow fall outside the window, fat, fluffy flakes that looked like they would be excellent stuffing for a pillow.
Stacks of books remained on either side of the window sill in front of Scir. He had pushed them aside to look out, but he idly flipped one open and looked at the pictures, waiting for it to start being more interesting. He had opened one on farming patterns, and frowned. As fascinating as that was, he was a wind elemental, not a farmer. Why Lemon had been reading such a book was beyond him. He closed it and dragged another one off the stack, flipping that open. At first, he was about to discard it in the same fashion as the other one, but he began to find pages with precious metals and gemstones. Things he had never really thought of before. They were pretty enough. Nothing really stood out, but he was still distracted.
Lemon was fast asleep, still. The second he wasn't, however, the whole house would be alerted. Lemon's wakefulness was always heralded by singing, the banging of cooking implements, and the weird things he mumbled to himself when he wasn't quite awake, but was clearly no longer sleeping. Ashura was beautiful to Scirocco, when he slept; Scir couldn't help but sneak glances sometimes at him. Lemon, on the other hand, made Scir want to shake his head. The difference between the two was so vast. Scir was just glad that although Lemon was noisy in general, he had taken to going out to see Moonfolk instead of bringing them home. It kept the house more quiet, at least, and Scir no longer had the discomfort of awkward moments when Lemon's latest fling would inevitably wander into Scirocco in the kitchen or hallway. In the past, Lemon had brought a few home, and whenever Scir encountered them he always wanted to say they probably wouldn't be staying long, so they didn't need to tell him their names. Perhaps his brother was in love? It would certainly explain why there was no more parade of lovers in their home.
He tightened his grip around the quilt and looked off into the distance, zoning out, forgetting the topic of Lemon's crushes. He wondered when Ashura would wake; was he already awake? Scir's internal monologue did battle with itself: was he too comfy to move, and he should just wait there, or did he need to go see Ashura and spend the uncomfortably cold morning hours watching over him? The latter may once have sounded creepy to Scir, but he was so used to being in Ashura's presence that he didn't really know what else to do. In the end, his desire to see Ashura won out. He pulled himself up out of the chair, and headed up the stairs, towards their room, huddled in the quilt. Its ends trailed along the floor. He remained silent as he went, a bubble of hot air and blanket snaking up the stairs.
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Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 10:53 am
It was sometime during the early hours of morning or so he fathomed by the sounds around him. The smell of clean, freshly washed bedsheets pleasantly surrounded him as did the soft warmth of the bed and the ever-lingering sleep. From afar he could hear the soft tweeting of a couple birds that braved the bitter winter cold from outside the window. He smiled in his still half-asleep state, his eyelids still too heavy to force open. Mornings were always quiet in Scirocco's home, almost too quiet until Lemon would wake up to stir up the quietness with all sorts of lively noises. Ashura didn't mind, on the contrary he found Scirocco's brother to be quite an interesting person and he found himself always admiring the vast amounts of energy he seemed to put into everything. Sometimes he wished he could be as active himself; yet the warmth of the bed -especially since it was so early- tempted him to stay just a little while longer.
Now that was a childish thought to make... he nearly sighed, stretching his arms above his head in an attempt to overthrow the numbness of sleep and watched as his rosary gently reflected what little light was slipping into the room; following his motion he pulled himself to sit up and scan his surroundings. It would appear that Scirocco had already woken up, that was the first thing Ashura noticed as soon as he glanced to the side of the bed where he would usually sleep; it made him wonder what could have possibly made his friend leave the bed so early in the morning. Maybe he saw some sort of dream? If so Ashura truly wished for it to have been a beautiful one.
He glanced backwards towards the pillow for another time getting the desire to just lay back down but in the end he just slipped off the edge of the bed and into the pair of slippers he was borrowing from Scir in order to keep his feet warm. He groggily stumbled towards the window to peek outside and greet the day making a note of how colder the room would get when Scir wasn't around. Even if it was just a slight drop in temperature Ashura could tell, having been used to being around Scirocco so much. Really, if only those days could carry on forever he'd be the most grateful person in the entire world. He kept thinking about that as he pressed a hand against the frosted glass, smiling at his reflection absent-mindedly. He had completely spaced out and lost track of time as he watched the scenery unfold from outside his window when he was made distantly aware that someone was approaching the room by the muffled sound of footsteps on the stairs as if someone was coming up trying not to make any noise. Scirocco was always so considerable... Abandoning his post by the window he crossed the bedroom with small quick steps and opened the door to greet him before he'd have time to make it; a childish little game but he suddenly felt energetic.
"Good m-" he paused, studying Scir curled inside his cocoon of a blanket trying not to chuckle at the sudden peculiar sight. In the end he could contain himself and promptly hid his face behind one raised hand as he laughed. "Good morning." he completed his phrase, as the initial surprise faded. But the blanket looked indeed so warm... he thought how nice it would be if he could just hide under it as well, curl closer to Scirocco and- he brought his thoughts to an abrupt halt; what in the world was he thinking? It was probably because he wasn't even half-awake yet. "...were you cold?" he added after a small pause, concerned. After all Scir was sleeping on the floor all this while. Maybe it would be better were they to switch, even for a little while. Ashura wouldn't mind, but he also knew that Scirocco wouldn't let him even if he were to suggest it.
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Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:18 pm
Scirocco's hand was poised to grasp the door handle to their bedroom when Ashura opened it before him. He smiled, and laughed, startled. "Good morning," Scir said quietly, smiling still, though his eyebrows were quirked in curiosity. Ashura seemed to be barely supressing laughter. Was there something wrong with Scir's hair or face? Or did he really just look that silly in his blanket cocoon. "If it's this blanket that you're trying not to laugh at, it really is quite warm," Scirocco said. He opened the blanket and took a step forward into the room, enveloping Ashura within his warm aura and the soft heat of the blanket. Tucking it around them so that Ashura was a part of his blanket cocoon. Amused, and leaning back so he could still see Ashura's face, he finally replied, "I was colder than I realized. The kind of chill that settles in, and one may not necessarily notice that one is cold until heat returns." He rested his chin against the top of Ashura's head, briefly, but moved back again to mumble, "Perhaps you were cold as well, and did not realize it? If only it was possible to travel this way," Scir mused, with a smile. He took the blanket off and draped it around Ashura, ending the possibly too-close embrace.
Something about being trapped in the snow and the cold for weeks had affected Scirocco. He craved the heat, the light, the warmth of being close to someone, and perhaps he was taking advantage of Ashura's kindness. He wished somehow he had a way of knowing Ashura's heart without the awkward confrontation of asking. That was one talent he, most assuredly, did not possess. He had spent many sleepless hours wondering over a gesture or a kind word or an expression, trying to unfold its mystery and its meaning. He didn't want to misinterpret Ashura's feelings and overstep their boundaries. Yet, on days like this, he felt so overwhelmed by waiting and inactivity that he longed to be the kind of spirit that could just take action, without dwelling so much on the possible consequences.
"Sorry I was not here when you woke," Scir said, running a hand through his hair. "I was having difficulty sleeping normally, so I went downstairs and sat by the window; I did not want my fidgeting to wake you," he finished. He walked over to the dresser and extracted a heavier sweater for himself, pulling it on top of what he was wearing, trying to maintain his warmth.
"To be honest, I am surprised Lemon has not woken us both up, by now," Scir said, shaking his head. Last night, Lemon had been practically bouncing off the walls, demanding they all go play in the snow. It was quite late by that point, however, and Scir hadn't even needed to dissuade his brother: Lemon had fallen asleep at the table, his hot cocoa half finished. The compromise, when Scir had to wake him to usher him to bed, was that they would all go outside the next day. Scirocco was hoping his brother had been too sleepy to remember, and perhaps that was true.
"Are you hungry?" He suddenly asked, returning to his default thought pattern of worrying over Ashura's comfort and well-being.
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Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 8:24 am
Ashura hadn't meant to startle Scirocco with his childish antics, but even as he realised that he couldn't help himself. He wondered if it was because he had grown so accustomed to being around Scir that he didn't feel all that embarrassed if he let himself a little loose to play around or if it was because of the winter; all this staying inside, day after day, creating an amount of leftover energy he didn't know how to deal with. "I'm sure it's quite w-" he would say warm but Scirocco had already somehow managed to step forward and catch him, surrounding him in his own warmth as well as that of the blanket. He felt his face heat up and he wasn't sure it was just because of the sudden change in temperature. "It... really is warm..." he mumbled in an awkward lowtone, not really sure of how he was expected to react at the sudden embrace. As a matter of fact, however, it was in a way a gesture that was more than welcome. Sometimes he really wished that he, himself could be so bold as to take the initiative and do something, anything... If only he could know what Scirocco was thinking maybe it would be easier but since he couldn't he was trapped in a morbid game of contemplating what was expected of him and what he could or couldn't get away with doing. He didn't want to damage the relationship he shared with Scir, it was already far too precious to him to risk that.
He took a couple of moments to savour the feeling of being held so close, breathing deeply to take in Scir's all-so familiar scent. That was what happened when one had spent such a long time with somebody else, Ashura guessed. He thought of the words spoken. He understood what Scir was saying but at the same time he wasn't sure that he fully understood what he meant by that; yet there was something in those words he could relate in his own condition. Being with Scir had made him realize just how lonely it had felt before the days he had spent alongside him. And he would have never noticed if the two of them had never met. It was a similar situation, was it not? But what did Scirocco mean by that? Colder than he thought...? Being cold was a rather simplified condition as far as he was concerned. You either were or weren't cold, so- he felt like sighing, if only mentally; he only wished that his heart, as confused as it was, would make it easier for him. "It is always colder, when you're not around." he ended up saying before he had the time to realize for himself what the meaning of his own words was. It certainly felt colder without Scirocco, though, both physically as well as emotionally; that much was true. "We can try to travel this way if you like?" Ashura joked as Scir wrapped him in the blanket moving away from him. "Thought I'm not sure too sure of the distance we could manage like this..."
He pulled the blanket closer and stood there watching as Scir went to the wardrobe to get something warmer to wear. "It's quite alright." he made haste to reassure Scir that he didn't mind as soon as he started apologizing. "Although... you could have woken me up instead since you couldn't sleep. It would have been better than staying up alone, wouldn't it?" he smiled softly and nodded as if to underline his words. He thought about Lemon when Scir mentioned him. As a matter of fact he was right. Lemon had been so excited the night before that it was almost a miracle he hadn't already assaulted them dragging them outside to play. As much as Ashura hated the cold and snow he would have been unable to refuse if asked like that, not to mention he'd feel terrible for crushing Lemon's excitement in that way. "Maybe he overslept?" he questioned with a small shrug. Maybe they should check on him anyway and fix him breakfast for a change? He was about to suggest going to make breakfast when Scir got to him first.
"A little bit..." he admitted with an awkward smile. It was surprising how he could go almost for a full day without eating or resting while travelling but would get so easily famished while simply staying inside. He could blame it on the winter and the cold weather, however. Maybe his body just needed the fuel to cope with the harsh conditions; not that there were any of the sort to speak of inside the house. "Are you hungry too? Maybe we have enough time to fix something before Lemon wakes up for a change." it would make for a nice little surprise, although he doubted they would have enough time to complete their task before the energetic male would rise.
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Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:06 am
Scirocco smiled softly, admiring Ashura's long hair and the way he held himself, before answering. "I don't think that we would get very far, you're likely right," he admitted, "It was a nice thought, though." Scirocco sighed internally, and wondered for what could have been the thousandth time what Ashura was thinking. He wished that he could read thoughts, instead, but perhaps that would make it too easy. Still, anything must be better than wanting to hold him close and not knowing if it was appropriate or not. He had gotten bolder while they were cooped up in the snow, that much was true, but he still pulled away in shyness.
If Scirocco had thought to look outside, he would have noticed the veritable snow kingdom Lemon had begun making hours ago. The inventor was so into his work that he had begun carving snow-bricks, building stable residences out of snow which one could actually live in. It would have been paradise for a frost-elemental. Scirocco was not that, nor was Lemon. Lemon looked a little like a snowbeast, all decked out.
Scir didn't even think to check on his brother, though. "Perhaps if we are quiet, he won't wake up before we finished making food. Lemon ... tends to get in the way, I'm not sure if you've noticed." Scirocco smiled wryly. He did love his brother, regardless. This was the first time that he'd had such a relaxing winter vacation; normally, he spent it cooped up with Lemon. Lemon was a ball of energy, constantly moving, reading, inventing, sometimes even cleaning, and Scir would often retreat to the upper floor of the house to get some peace. With Ashura, he didn't feel that way; he wanted to be near him. Or if not to be near him, to know that he was near, and that it would take only moments to bridge the gap. It wasn't the incessant need to be attached to him all the time, just... that his presence comforted Scirocco.
"I would never disturb your sleep just because I can't sleep," Scir said, quietly. "Although... I would be more comfortable knowing that you would wake me if you ever had such a problem." It was a little imbalanced, Scir knew, but he really would prefer Ashura waking him if that was the case. Scir cared so deeply for Ashura that the idea of his suffering sleeplessness alone pained him.
Returning to the subject of food, Scirocco headed towards the door, and began to lead the way into the kitchen. He turned, smiled at Ashura and said, "If the blanket is too heavy or warm, you can just leave it on the bed." Scirocco tilted his head, observing Ashura in that moment, and a soft smile spread across his face. Just being in the same room as Ashura made him happy.
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Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:00 pm
While his words did hold true and he was sure of the fact Ashura had thought at the time that it might have been nice, as childish his suggestion might have seemed. The casual way with which it was dealt was both a remedy as well as something secretly edged and hurtful if he contemplated about it for far too long even if Scir hadn't meant it in that way. Like every good thing most things must have an end even though people might not always be wishing for it. Ashura had been used to think like this which was why he didn't make connections with the people he met in his travels; even so this once he had not only gotten himself more involved than any other time before but selfishly so had more or less made many promises during his stay, promises he wouldn't be able to break regardless of the situation. Regardless of the destiny that had let him wandering through worlds he had found a himself a home close to the heart of another person and having spent the entirety of his life seeking a way back this had been the most unexpected, the most splendid of his discoveries. And yet he didn't dare admit to himself the most crucial of things, his heart longed for more and he wasn't sure if he could fulfill that wish.
"I couldn't imagine a more perfect brother for you if I tried, Scirocco." Ashura pointed out. And it was true, even though the two moonfolk contrasted so incredibly much it was hard to believe they were somehow related. Lemon was a very active, brilliantly shining force whereas Scir was calm and reserved. That aside he, too, had a spark underneath although Ashura witnessed it more rarely than often. Scir honestly resembled his element more than he could believe an elemental could do. And in its own sense it was something soothing, to know that some things were constant. "You know you do not really believe it when you say he's being a bother." Ashura's smile grew and blossomed at the thought. He had been the same too, once; always complaining about his sisters that seemed to get him in all sort of trouble even though he loved them all dearly in the end. "Although, the food might be safer if we were to cook it instead." Staying with the brothers had proved to do miracles in the how easily he had started to open up; weakly, shyly, like the uncertain bud of a flower that was too scared to greet the day, yet opening still. He joked more often, laughed more often, let others hear, in a sense, what he was thinking; in general, Ashura felt more human than he had ever since he left his grey homeland behind and he was infinitely grateful for that even though he couldn't just yet find the words, the courage in him to call out to Scirocco and beg him to hold him closer whenever he would pull away.
Ashura smiled a little for another time. He was the one having a difficulty to wake up not go to sleep! But even so it was a most generous offer even if he did find it a little unfair. "If it can keep you from clouding your mind with unnecessary worry for me then I promise that I'll wake you up if I ever feel the need." He'd eventually find a way to reciprocate the infinite kindness he was being showered with, but for the time's being he had learned that there was no stopping Scir from laying out his myriad ministrations for him. It was almost as if the Moonfolk just refused to back down when it came to making him comfortable. He'd often say that he didn't deserve being treated as a prince even if he were one as his status mattered little away from home.
Ashura nodded and made haste to fold up the blanket neatly to place it on the bed more because he wouldn't be able to assist with making breakfast while wearing it and less because he thought either of its heaviness or its warmth; especially for the latter since Ashura could use as much warmth as he could find in order to survive the cold winter months. It wasn't as if the house was cold, however, and Scir's warm aura was omnipresent wherever he was as well... Ashura simply had very low tolerance towards cold weather in general, so much that if he could crawl under a kotatsu and hibernate there until Spring he would readily do it. "What do you think we should make for breakfast?" he questioned quietly, his feet moving quickly to catch up to Scir who was already halfway to the kitchen. Despite the fact he was already rather used to the home he still found it most comforting not to stray far from Scir for any reason at all. Just having him there, close by, was reassuring.
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:02 pm
Scirocco hadn't thought of a possibly bad meaning to what he had said, so he didn't know how it might make Ashura feel. Of course, if he could just hold onto Ashura permanently and travel like that, he would. But it wasn't possible; they'd never get anywhere at all. So it was perhaps his logical side which dismissed the possibility. Of course, Scir was also still grappling with the desire to tell Ashura how he felt and the necessity of keeping it a secret to preserve their relationship. Scir was happy. Would it not be greedy to expect more?
He didn't reply to Ashura's addition that Lemon was the clear best choice for a sibling of Scirocco. Of course it was true. Lemon and Scirocco shared certain passions for exploration; Lemon discovered through inventions, while Scirocco explored the land and returned home only when the temperature fell. Both brothers had their talents, though it was Scirocco whose skills ranged more vastly, while Lemon was focused on inventions of any kind, but only inventions. Well, inventions and repairs. If it was a machine or a creation, he could manage, make or fix it. Not so much with moonfolk, however. Lemon was miserable with relationships. He came across too strong.
"Are you so sure about that, Ashura?" he asked, laughing. "My brother can be... so troublesome." Scir exhaled heavily, a sweet breeze swirling around him. "And yes, the food will surely be safer. Lest he try to invent a new kind of pancake, or make us use his strange tea-brewing device." Scirocco shook his head. His brother's inventions worked... when they were machines. Cooking, not so much. And he didn't always understand why something new had to be invented. For Scir, the old way of brewing tea worked just fine. Splendidly, in fact.
Scirocco sent a thread of his warmth out to Ashura, brushing the lore's face with a soft breeze. He didn't touch him, himself, but it was the equivalent. A caring gesture. "Thank you, it does ease my mind. The thought of you unable to sleep, plagued by some bad dream... I don't think I can stand that." Scir was speaking quietly, the ghost of a smile across his face.
Scir had paused briefly to make sure Ashura could catch up, since he had been kind enough to fold the blanket. "Mm... excellent question. Is there something which you would prefer? We could make a sweet omelette. Or perhaps some waffles. So many choices..." Scirocco was not in the mood for decision-making, but he would probably resort to either of those things if left to his own devices. And, of course, some sliced fruit which Lemon had kept preserved in his invention of a coldbox. Sometimes having a brother who was also an inventor came in very handy.
The room seemed so silent. Soft, winter light filtered through the windows of the kitchen. Scir drew a curtain away from the window and shuddered, a hint of cold escaping to his fingers. He expelled it with some of his own heat, and began to generate a gentle breeze within the kitchen, warming it up. It was so cold there. While he was thinking, Scir automatically returned to Ashura, and slipped one arm around his waist gently, unaware of what he was doing.
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 4:59 pm
Ashura brushed his hair aside, fixing them to a more comfortable position as he contemplated Scirocco's question. If he was sure, he asked. He wasn't that knowledgeable no matter how many worlds he had traversed and he certainly wasn't one to talk about siblings having had such troublesome sisters that would always get him into trouble as well. He could understand where Scirocco's question had been aimed at, and he had seen the two of them interact enough to deduce that no matter how many mean things the two of them would occasionally direct gently at each other they never meant any actual harm.
"But of course I am serious." Ashura mentioned crossing his arms over his chest in a rather decicive motion. "In all of my travels I was not once met with another person as qualified to be your brother but Lemon." he declared together with all the formalities. As for Lemon's odd inventions... Ashura couldn't really save the day or stand up for him. While many things the skilled technician made were more than simply desirable to have around and useful there were some other things that he did do poorly with, such as the food preparing machinery Scir had just addressed. He didn't know how wrong a pancake-making contraption could go but he had tasted the horrors of the tea-brewing device first hand. It was necessary complicated as compared to the simple task of making tea. "At least the tea was drinkable... somewhat..." he admitted with a small awkward smile. He didn't mean no disrespect but that was simply the truth.
Scirocco's wind had been gentle and warm as always as it gently brushed against his skin and even though no physical touch had been involved he found himself thinking of it as intimate action, seconds... moments before he realized what he was thinking was improper in its entirety and it was unforgivable to be thinking of his good friend like that. They had travelled almost an entire year together and now they were even staying together and despite of all the small signs that Ashura could perceive, that he longed to perceive as possible hints, ideas of possibilities for what he truly hoped for but wouldn't dare make known in fear of suddenly finding the door to his new home forever closed to him. He couldn't afford to make hasty, childish movements; he had spent a lifetime in waiting after all. "I can't have bad dreams when you're sleeping so close to me anyway." Ashura joked. He was sure that if he should ever had nightmares about everything that had gone by, Scir would chase them away. As a matter of fact he hadn't dreamt of the past at all since they settled in for the winter, something he blamed partially on the weather as well as his own inability to keep his emotions in check. He had too many things going on in the present to be able to care more about things gone.
"The omelette sounds like it would be good idea." Ashura spoke softly feeling his stomach emit a soft growl of annoyance for being left unattended to. Waffles were also exceptionally good but Ashura hadn't tried an omelette made by Scirocco yet so he was rather curious as to how exactly it would taste. The only thing certain was that it wouldn't be any sort bad. He usually had trouble picking himself, especially since he would rarely mind the food as he wasn't picky when it came to it. "It would go well with some tea as well." he went on as he followed Scir in the kitchen.
The room had been cold considering it hadn't been used ever since they had all went to sleep -and it was always warmer in the rooms Scir inhabited as he seemed able to always warm them up without any major problems. Because of the cold Ashura almost immediately felt the need to curl up in some sort of protected space and wait until everything were slightly more temperate before he could help.And he would have simply sat aside until his assistance was needed when unexpectedly Scir -who had gone to open the curtain that shielded the window from their side- returned to him, passing one arm around his waist absentmindedly. Ashura felt his stomach far more empty all of a sudden, as if it had disappeared altogether and an almost drunken lightheadedness took him over otherwise he would have inched quickly away. For one more time he wanted, more than anything, to tell Scirocco; ask him what it was that he felt about him... truly. He inched closer into the warmth, his head falling to the side a little as he tried not to move a lot to keep the moment as still as it could possibly be. So it wouldn't get lost in the ripples of the next in line, plummeting from above. "S-Scirocco..." the single word he managed to speak came out in the form of a single, very shaky breath nothing above a whisper as the almost equally quaking fingers of one hand traced Scir's own while he was being held. He had to call out his name in order to keep himself from getting lost in that mesmerizing maze that had began to take hold ever since he had just woken up in the morning. Like some sort of spell; it was like a spell, he decided, a trap laid by somebody just so he could fall right into it, slip up and say things he couldn't take back.
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Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 10:00 pm
Scirocco began to laugh as Ashura suggested the tea was somewhat drinkable. "It was barely even qualified to be tea," he replied, once he had calmed down enough to reply without laughing through his answer. Scir smiled softly at Ashura. There was an incredible amount of tenderness in his smile, just then. Ashura was so kind, even when faced with something as revolting as Lemon's tea invention.
If Scir had any idea that Ashura was thinking of the brush of wind as an intimate gesture, and hadn't balked at the thought, he would have glowed with courage. As it was, he was still hesitant, and trying to both be a gentleman and deal with his desire to embrace Ashura without letting go. "Am I a talisman against nightmares, then?" Scirocco suggested, teasing. In secret, he was extremely happy to hear such a thing. "If that's the case, though..." he grew quiet, "I'll have to sleep close by all the time." His smile was shy, and he couldn't bring himself to look Ashura in the eye. What if he had misspoken? Still, he said it sincerely, and from the heart.
Scirocco didn't often have bad dreams, but there were nights that he couldn't sleep, for one reason or another. Usually because he was the wrong temperature, or he had a lot on his mind. Lately, he had been very preoccupied with his increasing affection towards Ashura, trying to figure out how to express it or deal with it. Was it something that should be addressed...? Could it be addressed? Scirocco, for all his travel experience, was extremely new at this. His affection for others had previously been purely amicable, nothing more.
"Let's start the omelette, then," Scir agreed. He grabbed some eggs, sugar, soy sauce and a sweet vinegar from the various cupboards and the coldbox. The bottles were mostly unlabled. He mixed the appropriate amounts together, put it back to chill while he lit a fire under one of the elements and used his heat to maintain it at the appropriate temperature. If only he was a heat elemental, or so he thought to himself occasionally. He was the embodiment of a hot wind, not fire itself. Smiling to himself, Scir also set a full kettle on another element to boil. "Would you like to prepare the tea, and I will make the omelettes?"
As he hadn't realized his arm was around Ashura, he startled momentarily, but remained relaxed, as if he had intended to slip his arm around his best friend all along. The one he loved. "Hmm?" Scirocco asked, breathy. His voice was caught in his throat, and his chest felt tight. Scir's fingers slipped around Ashura's quaking ones, and squeezed very gently. There was something very warm and intimate about the kitchen, especially without Lemon to disturb them. Scirocco breathed in the soft, soothing smell of Ashura's hair, admiring it yet again. He felt dizzy, as though he was drunk on sunlight. He wanted to pull Ashura into himself and not let go. To tell him how he felt. Instead, he kept his arm circled around Ashura, holding his hand in one hand, his skin warm and pink with blush and apprehension. "Ashura...?" he began, suddenly, "If I had something to ask you... I... have a request of sorts?" Scirocco fumbled the words, his warm voice shy.
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:27 am
Ashura was about to disagree about the tea, try to somehow defend Lemon's bizarre creation somehow so it wouldn't seem like all the efforts put into it was in vain but his argument was going to be about how nice its smell had been, a perfect even mixture of aromatics, but the point that it was still not quite drinkable would remain. As a result he was forced to drop it and agree with Scir nodding his head thoughtfully. Maybe if they could let Lemon know he could improve his device and it would actually produce something good at some point.
He took a few moments to think Scirocco's statement over as always. Having spent a lifetime learning different things had cause him to dislike drawing hasty conclusions and would usually rather pass on an answer he was unsure of than give a reply that he would later regret. In this case also, it wasn't as if Scir's presence itself kept the nightmares at bay, although it filled him with so much joy to be able to spend his days with him that this might have become a ward to any negative thoughts that might have otherwise plagued him. "Perhaps you are, Scirocco." he smiled gently as he spoke them, few simple words. It was a good thing, of course, since it had already been bad enough with just his constant worry about his current day by day lifestyle. As long as the two of them had wandered wherever Scir would lead there wasn't nearly as much time to think about it nor need to hide but ever since winter had kicked in and they had found themselves holed up in such a small place -with the exception of their trips to the village- it was becoming a reality Ashura had to learn to deal with. He couldn't let Scir know about what he thought; he felt so tainted, wretched for even considering such things in his mind and yet there were still times when his self-control would fail him. "It would only answer to reason that I'd keep my guardian talisman as close as possible, of course." he mused, looking up at Scir, trying to conceal what he didn't want to be seen behind his smile.
And he still found what he was doing fairly inappropriate even if he was only imagining things. What would Scirocco think of him if he knew of all the shameless thoughts that swam around inside him, if he knew how many times Ashura had wished -way and over again- to be something more to him than just a friend, just a travelling companion? Would he not think it was the selfish demand of a selfish prince, used in always getting whatever he desired? To think of your best friend this way was unacceptable. Even if he was underestimating himself... He focused on preparing the tea as Scir asked him too, deciding to keep quiet and short out his thoughts as he did so still unaware of what was to follow. However there was little to do besides waiting for the water to boil and it didn't help in keeping his mind away from the places where it should not linger; nor did the arm around his waist.
If nothing it only made things worse, his heart beating fast and faster still in his chest, so much that he started to fear it might give out on him. There was a dam in him, filled to the brim with emotions he had barricaded inside and every intimate action had started to cause it to creak, threatening to overflow and break any moment now. It was a trap, aright; he repeated his thought from before. Why did it have to happen now? And Ashura found out that he couldn't pull away even if he wanted to; because it hurt too much to be close and even more to be apart and his heart was already struggling anyway. And Scirocco couldn't know how much he had wished for him to say anything in reply or let him go -even if he didn't want to let go, he was beginning to make little to no sense, even to himself- because Scir couldn't have known how he wished to be held like this, how wonderful he thought it would be to be embraced, to be had, to be loved many times over. And how could he be so discomposed, how could he let himself go on like this, fighting against the current like a schoolchild who hadn't seen her sixteenth birthday, he, who had spent so many lifetimes wandering from world to world seeking retribution? How could he feel so sinful and so innocent at the same time? It simply wasn't right; it failed to make any logical sense.
"Don't-" the words and his breath became caught in his throat and he couldn't speak. He had wanted to tell him not to do this, that it hurt too much to do this but that wasn't right either. He couldn't tell Scirocco that his heart was hurting because then it would seem like it had been his fault although it was practically his fault in a very different sense that moonfolk could imagine, Ashura thought. And even though he said no he could feel his fingers that were held, tighten their own hold on the other hand. -let go. Don't let go. There was no sense to be made of loving feelings after all; "Why--" again he couldn't finish, head dropping low to hide flushed cheeks under locks of hair.
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 9:56 am
Scirocco had never truly thought he was the remedy for nightmares. He was just teasing, and at the same time, finding an excuse to ensure that he was able to continue sleeping close to Ashura. The days of being alone still loomed at the edges of his memories: they seemed to belong to another moonfolk, those nights and days empty of any contact with others. He would walk for days, weeks, before he found anyone. Eventually, all those days in silence began to make him think he had gone mad. And so it took a particular type of person to embrace that madness of solitude. But he did, season after season. It had not particularly bothered him, per se, because he was always pleasant with everyone and loved no one. Not apart from the brotherly affection he felt for Lemon, of course. It was just his way: Scir's heart did not seem to open easily. Not that it was shut tight, just that the borders were pinched closed and no one had really managed to find the right touch to open it.
Ashura had opened his heart. Easily, it seemed; just by being himself. His softness, the sadness of his past, the elegance of his present. Scir loved Ashura for the shyness, for teasing him; Ashura was fascinating to Scirocco. And there was something about his rhythm that made Scirocco feel completely at peace. Except when he was trying to keep his own feelings in check, apparently; Scirocco's mind and heart were reeling in confusion.
If only Scir could have known what "inappropriate" thoughts Ashura was harbouring. More than once, Scirocco had wanted so badly to wrap his arms around Ashura and brush his lips against Ashura's own. The thought send a warmth rippling across his skin. He closed his eyes, biting his lower lip and trying to calm himself down, even though the phantom visions of a kiss that had never really taken place haunted him. In a good way. Perhaps it was something about being trapped in the cold for so long, but Scirocco craved heat. Not anyone's heat, specifically Ashura's... So his own thoughts were likely even more inappropriate. He wanted to hold Ashura. He wanted to see what it felt like to kiss him, honestly and openly. Above all, he did not want to hurt Ashura. That was what had kept him frozen in indecision for all these months: to hurt Ashura, to wound him or betray his trust, would feel terribly awful to Scirocco.
Scir could feel Ashura's heart beating faster. Perhaps if they had known how much the other was struggling, it would have been easier on them... but Scir was apparently very bad at reading emotions. Or paranoid about hurting Ashura. Because while an initial thought assessed the heartbeat of Ashura with delight, a second, nagging thought supposed it was because Ashura wanted to bolt. And with the word Don't Scir nearly felt his heart break. His eyes closed, and his brows drew in. That's not what he's saying it for, Scir had to remind himself. Ashura wasn't replying to his secret thoughts. He was trying to request something. However, he never finished his sentence. Scirocco felt Ashura's fingers tighten around his own and his eyes snapped open, his mouth in a surprised Oh. Scir didn't extract himself, but rather shifted his position so he was facing Ashura, his arm still circled tight, free hand holding onto Ashura's.
Scirocco leaned his face gently against the top of Ashura's head, breathing in deeply to try and calm himself. Even so, the words were broken at first, his voice quivering. "If I were to-- If I asked--" Unsuccessfully, he tried twice to pose his question. Then, to reassure himself, he said, "If the answer is no, I understand, and I don't have to ask again--" Then, finally, the words rushed forth: "Ashura, may I kiss you?"
Scir braced himself for the reply, if it should happen to be that his fear was true.
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:05 pm
There was a time when Ashura had allowed himself to freely take and taste the fruits of love. At that time courtship had been something he was taught how to do; it was, after all, an important part of his task to find a good wife, as a prince should do; Zippangu had been a kingdom ruled by women, after all. The rules and the tidiness of the whole idea was something that helped put his mind at ease but it had never created anything genuine as it was. Maybe because the rules and the proper behaviour killed whatever feeling might have lingered, or perhaps because he never really found someone special while he gave his tries. On occasion someone might appear that Ashura liked more than others and yet he had never loved anyone, not really. And here, in this world, a countless distance away from home he suddenly felt drunk on his emotions perhaps precisely because there were no rules to dictate anything anymore and because Scirocco had really been the one, the only person who had managed to make his way into his heart.
Ashura had loved the way Scir never thought twice about things that concerned his well-being, not because he owed him some sort of respect or thought of his noble heritage but because that was just the way he was. He loved the way he teased and laughed and made him feel as if he didn't have to worry ever again. He loved to wake up by his side and he loved to go to sleep with him, for once in so very long he felt like finally being actually able to love life itself once again and that was just the way it was. His love for Scirocco had made him love everything he had considered lost to him ever since he had fled his home country and he was finally ready to give up on his gift and be at ease which was why being turned down scared him beyond human comprehension; he risked having to leave while his heart would forever stay behind.
Ashura felt Scirocco tensing up slightly and possibly withdrawing a little even though he hadn't moved and bit his bottom lip in nervousness, trying to remain still as well, wishing with all his heart he hadn't said something stupid -but how could he have done such a thing when he had managed to essentially say nothing? There was a tangled mass of thoughts in his mind, another one of feelings residing in his heart and the sole wish to have his feelings reciprocated; who would have thought that really being in love with somebody could hurt this much? And even though he wished so hard he was already bracing himself to be pushed away.
And then he was held, closer than ever before, and he felt his heart come to standstill from its thrashing, eyes opened wide in what would seem like genuine surprise. Ashura would have liked to speak up, say something -anything at all- but while he had managed to even form those very small words before right now he had had his voice stolen away entirely, leaving him with nothing to be able to explain to Scir what thoughts he held inside of him, at least he had saved himself the humiliation, he added in a bitter remark. He settled in that gentle warmth, his cheek pressed lightly against Scirocco's chest to feel his heartbeat there, trying to quiet down enough so he could breathe regularly. Then Scirocco spoke and he felt his heart sink when he couldn't find the words to tell him either. Say it. You're tired of me aren't you. You're tired of all of this, my inability to put my feelings into words, right? I will go away if it's what you want. It'll be okay as long as you're happy; I was happy too, you know, but I suppose Enma-daiou was right. I really am cursed. he was used in disappointment after all. It would always eventually happen one way or another. That was simply the way it worked.
And what a wretched being had he become that he'd think that his friend would say all those terrible things... When Scirocco moved further with what he was trying to say Ashura was forced to open his eyes and look at the true side of things. Those terrible things he kept imagining couldn't possibly what Scir thought, those were only his most terrible fears being realized and translated in a sense that his mind projected them over reality. They couldn't possibly be true, otherwise... would Scir hold him so close like he was some sort of valued possession to be treasured? He very much doubted it.
And then when the actual question finally came and even though it really had been what Ashura had hoped to hear, he flinched and for a couple moments following the declaration he was plunged in a very awkward silence -mostly because he couldn't speak from the sheer shock rather because he didn't know what to say or because he wanted to remain quiet. He looked up from his spot, so comfortably warm for another time, cheeks shamefully flushed as he tried to comprehend and analyze the emotions hidden in Scirocco's expression. He felt light-headed enough that if his legs gave in from under him and he collapsed it would come as no surprise. "W-Would-" all he had ever wanted "Would you, please?" just for once, could he really have his wish granted? He wasn't even sure about where exactly he had found that kind of strength to speak but he dared say nothing else just in case this was all being nothing but a dream birthed by wishful thinking.
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 8:40 am
It was all Scirocco could do to keep his heat aura in check, because the things that Ashura made him feel were bringing out the heat in him that usually lay dormant, warmth that he could not even access normally. It would have been enough to melt the entire yard's snow, if he had wanted to. Which he didn't. Lemon would be very upset. Scirocco's thoughts didn't stray from Ashura very long. There was something about Ashura, the way in which he spoke and behaved, that made Scir wish to support him. To give him a safe place to open up, as though he was a particularly beautiful slumbering blossom. As long as he was able, Scirocco would always protect Ashura, even though he likely did not need it; Ashura was strong, in Scir's eyes. They were both shy, but... that did not indicate a lack of strength.
Scirocco was different from his brother. Lemon was forward, went around with many, picked none. He did not need to choose just one. Scirocco had diverted most radically from Lemon in this regard: he had never loved anyone, and never even felt an inclination to try. And suddenly, he had wanted to be near Ashura. To hold him. Sleeping near him had been a blessing, and a gift; one which Scir had tried never to abuse. But it was difficult, some nights, when it was particularly cold out and Scirocco knew that if he pressed against Ashura he could keep him warm no matter how cold out it was. On their travels, he had become so used to the sweet sight of Ashura near him that he wasn't even sure he could sleep without Ashura nearby. He never wanted to find out. Still... Ashura's ability to walk between worlds was an immense gift, and Scirocco did not want to hold him back. As long as Ashura was in this world, he would love him, with his whole self. Or as much as he could express, anyway. Until then, it had not been nearly enough compared to what he felt.
But that could change. It did change. Scirocco nearly laughed in surprise as he realized they had both likely been worrying, thinking bad things, letting their fears get the best of them. Instead, he smiled widely, and his face grew very red, as if he was intoxicated. They must have looked quite a pair, the both of them with flushed cheeks. Scirocco planted his feet steadily and made sure that neither of them would wobble to the floor. At first, Scir couldn't say anything at all, when Ashura not only agreed, but asked Scir to please kiss him. His mouth parted softly in an Oh of surprise, again, and with the hand he had been using to steady them better, he reached gently to Ashura's chin and tilted it back, just enough that he could bend down and pause, briefly. His lips were so close to Ashura's, and he had waited so long for this one moment..."If I turn out to be dreaming, please don't wake me up," Scirocco whispered, his lips nearly brushing Ashura's. Mustering all the courage he had, Scirocco bridged the gap between them and placed his lips against Ashura's. The first kiss was long, and tender, and Scir's brows pressed together because it was even more sensational than he thought it could be. Had he kissed anyone...? Perhaps a very long time ago, but no one that he could picture. He had never felt this before. He couldn't bring himself to break the kiss, but he did, and followed it with more, shorter kisses, sliding his hand up to Ashura's cheek and stroking the skin with his thumb.
He couldn't think of anything to say, nothing appropriate; he wanted to ask him if they could just keep kissing and not stop, but that would be impractical. Scir felt like a child, just a Twilif, possessed by such silly urges. But he couldn't seem to help himself. Shyly, he drew back just enough to see Ashura's expression, still holding on tightly.
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:44 am
When Ashura was on the brink of thinking that his cause had been forever lost, going as far as resigning himself to leaving if that was what Scirocco wanted, the spark of his solitary dream had miraculously been revived and cared after. He couldn't remember how long it had been either, ever since the last time anyone did something that felt almost like a remedy to what served as his broken existence. To him, Scir had been more than he would ever dare ask for, more than he could ever even dream of. And for him, to have met such a wonderful person, to have managed to grow as close to him against all the odds that had dictated that he would simply do as he always did and spend four seasons in this land before leaving, connecting himself to no one so no one would hurt when it would finally be time for him to depart, was a blessing, a gift he almost felt too bad to be receiving. Because Ashura had travelled long and travelled far, and saw both pain and darkness and in a time, that was too far ago to clearly remember, he had inflicted wounds in people and wounds in entire worlds that would not heal because they could not heal, the countless souls that had stained his existence still haunting him.
Ashura knew that even if he spent an entire lifetime wandering this plane where souls came to reside after their passing from other places he'd still fondly recall his first year, that first meeting in which he finally found his home and became unable to detach, unable to fall apart, unable to take a single step alone anymore because he was finally dependant and he regretted none of it. Even now, the entirety of his world had hung in something as fragile as a single phrase. Did Scir really want to kiss him or was he dreaming still, plunged in a slumber deep like he always slept? Or was it a joke? Could it possibly have been a cruel joke? And he felt even more guilty to be thinking of those things nothing but a moment after he had done so, as always. All he ever wanted was to tell Scir how he felt, let him know how it was, inside of him with all those pure and simple and the more complicated thoughts. If Scir could understand him, if he would just, please, hold his heart and not let it go then everything could be alright and perhaps it would be a quiet and sleepy time for them both.
He was full of emotions to the brim already but when the time came they were simply allowed to flow freely once again creating a warm current that swept through him -although that might have as well as been Scir's own aura-, rather than forcefully tearing his heart apart so they could pour out causing nothing but pain. The gentle hand that tilted his chin back slightly so they could properly align with their difference of height, Scir's sweet-smelling breath when he spoke so very close to his own lips -that if he could move at all, numb as he was, he could breach the distance in nothing but a slight motion of the head- it all felt like a dream. As did the kiss that followed with the difference that Ashura knew it to be real. He felt a knot pushing at the back of his throat, a few tears swimming at the backside of closed eyelids and he knew that if he were to die in that very moment he would die happy. He was experiencing so many emotions at the same time, all of them beautiful and his next thought was that no, he didn't want to die, he only wanted to keep at this forever if he could, holding on, tightly enough so his knees wouldn't fail him, tasting Scirocco and feeling the tender caresses of his lips against his own.
He simply didn't want his freedom anymore, but to burden Scir with the task to release him would be too much for a single day. And he still couldn't help but feel like a schoolchild when he looked up at Scir with adoration he had so long longed to express in any way possible, cheeks still flushed quite shamefully as he didn't dare remove his hands from their hold on Scir's garments -which he could not remember placing there-. He blushed even more as he tried his best to control the rhythm of his heartbeat and his breathing because when he tried to speak no sound came out for another time. What was he supposed to say in such a compromising situation? Nothing that came to mind seemed to matter. "So long..." it was the only thing that made sense to say, if only to ridicule himself. "I've waited... " he had to phrase his sentence in a proper manner for Scir to understand though, but all this seemed to have stolen his ability to think straight and place that thought in normal-sounding sentences. "I've travelled." it was hard to speak, still. "I looked everywhere but couldn't find you." and then, all of a sudden it had simply happened. He quickly looked away embarrassed, at his own declaration, sincerely hoping that he hadn't made Scir uncomfortable just like that and plunged himself into silence just so he wouldn't say more, even more ridiculous things.
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 11:14 am
If Ashura had accepted the kiss... accepted him, that changed everything. Now the dreams that Scirocco had denied and pushed aside could be realized. Slowly, of course, as Scirocco was not one to do things quickly. But it meant that there was hope. And Scirocco could not possibly feel better for it. He heard the kettle whistle, and realized that they had been in the middle of preparing breakfast, but he was unwilling to let go just get. He held onto Ashura with one hand, and with the other, moved the kettle off the hot element, snuffing the open flame with his aura.
When Ashura managed to speak, even though he himself could not, he was overcome with a sense of lightheadedness, and a desire to hold onto him so securely. "I didn't even know that you could exist... I thought you were a distant dream." Scir offered in return, though what Ashura had said to him made his heart light and it made him want to keep Ashura safe even more. I would never hurt you, never leave your side, Scirocco thought to himself, smiling widely, though he could not say it aloud.
Scirocco slipped both his arms around Ashura, and pulled their bodies together, making sure he wasn't hurting Ashura. He just needed to hold him tightly, not let go until he was certain that Ashura wouldn't evaporate or disappear. "Now that we have found each other... we should stay that way, do you think?" Scir said, under his breath, leaning his cheek against Ashura's head and enjoying the way it felt to hold him like he had always wanted to. So he just held on, tightly, feeling Ashura's heart beating. Scir wanted to promise him everything, overwhelmed by the emotions.
And all those nights of being polite, the days of keeping a respectable distance... even though all he wanted was to do what he was doing now, they seemed so far away. He bent down again to kiss Ashura, his cheeks wet with tears he had shed in joy. "I have no words to express what I feel when I'm with you, Ashura, but you are the most wonderful being I have come across in all the time I travelled. You're what I was looking for all along, and I just never knew it. I can never thank you enough for what you do for me." Scirocco kissed Ashura for what felt like only the first time again, even though he seemed to have been kissing him repeatedly since the first kiss. He couldn't seem to help himself. All those times he had wanted to... but couldn't.
Scir stroked a hand through Ashura's hair, and ran his fingers along Ashura's cheek, brushing his thumb along Ashura's lips. They were perfect. Ashura seemed perfect. Despite the pain of loneliness, or being unlike anyone else all his years of travelling, and knowing that Ashura carried such pain and more within him... there was a kind of respite for Scirocco in Ashura. Because they were stronger together. They were a team, and they had been all this time. But finally Scir was allowing himself to express it. I loved you all this time, Scirocco whispered within himself, still not brave enough to confess it.
Really, they should keep preparing breakfast, and part of Scirocco did want to make food so they could eat, but... wait, where had Lemon been, this whole time? Scir was afraid to look at the window, in case Lemon's face was pressed against the glass.
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