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 Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 10:01 pm
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Temple,
Not a creature was stirring, not even Bapp's creepy uncle Kemple.*
SOME stockings were hung by the belltower lazily,
The rest were procrastinating after partying crazily.
* He lives under your bed. Didn't you know?
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 10:20 pm
The Acolytes were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of nekkidness danced in their heads.
Except for the one girl whose head was reeling,
With sparkles and glitter and sexy bishies and feelings.
And Lorika in her hair-chopsticks and Sven squeezing his derriere,
Both settled down to rest and enjoy the night air.
When up on the roof there arose such a clatter,
The Acolytes awoke, wondering what was the matter.
Except for the one girl whose head was still reeling,
With sparkles and glitter and sexy bishies and feelings.
Away to the window Lorika dashed,
Looking to see what had been smashed.
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 10:36 pm
When she arrived, what a surprise she did find,
For in through the window came a ripe male behind!
Her heart went a-flutter for there, climbing in,
Was a muscular man in red suit with fur trim!
Her palms all a-sweating, breathing all of a-panta,
Her eyes all a-boggling, she squeed: "Are you Santa?!?!"
"No, dimwit," he replied, voice full of malaise,
"It's me, the combat instructor - get out of my way!"
"Jessie?" she blinked, as if hit by a ton,
"Sorry, didn't recognise you... with your clothes on."
(Zing.)
He gave her a look that suggested he wished he were dead,
Then to the side he turned his soft head.
"Now Cressa, get in here! Don't ******** with me, b***h!
Bring in those presents, you filthy old witch!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" his companion did cry,
Hauling herself over the ledge, so spry.
"You try doing this wearing high heels."
"I am," he answered drily, "And it was all your idea."
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 6:01 pm
"Stop bickering, you two. Tell me just what was that crash?"
"That," Jessie answered readily, "Was the fault of this dumba-"
"Ooh, you awful tattle! Stop being so uncouth!
Anyway, my hole is not as big as the one left on the roof!"
"Not again..." the priestess moaned, "I thought the sleigh was since disabled?"
"It was, until somebody decided it should be re-enabled."
Cressa pouted. "Christmas isn't Christmas without a great big honking sleigh!"
Jessie sighed. "But driving lessons are a must before you head off on your way."
"Why didn't you stop her?! Perhaps the fault truly lies with you!"
"You try arguing with Cressa - she's like a rutting caribou.
(Pungent musk included.)"
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 6:46 pm
"Anyways," the High Priestess said, "How will we fix this?"
With presents undelivered, it just wouldn't be Christmas.
"That's what we're doing," said Cressa, with a wipe of her brow.
"We're delivering all of these gifts to their recipients right now."
"But there's a slight problem, as you can clearly tell,
The tags are mixed up; when the sleigh hit the roof, off they fell."
"That said, here's your gift!" she exclaimed, thrusting into her hand a knot.
Whatever it was on the end of the rope, it...certainly bleated a lot.
"How do you know this is mine?" Lorika asked, as the rope began to move.
"And furthermore, how will you figure out the rest? You've got a lot to prove."
"We have our little ways!" the big-bosomed elf replied,
"To the right reader of minds, your desires are open wide!"
"She's bluffing," Jessie countered, "She didn't have a clue."
Cressa turned to glare at him. "Well, neither did you!"
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:33 pm
Rika heard a sticky slop, and look-ed down to see.
"Eugh!" she cried in horror, "My goat is covered in gravy!"
"Ah, sorry about that, it's been getting everywhere."
"Nevermind that, Betsy - let's go spread some Christmas Cheer!"
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 3:49 pm
Gliding out of the room, the fairies quietly flew To deliver the presents - they had so much to do! A penguin suit, a sword, a brand new DVD - The only thing left unclaimed was the tub of gravy. But suddenly, the still Christmas night was disturbed, By an acolyte who felt he could flip Cressa the bird (and live). "Now, Cressa, calm down, don't get too upset!" But it was too late - she was already het (up). Her eyes were ablaze, through her teeth blew a whistle, And up flew the flames like a fiery thistle. "A geis on your families, a geis on your 'hood! A geis that will drive your name into the mud!" She ranted and raved as the Temple fell to ash, And the acolytes fled from her magic, so rash! Escaping out the fire exit, they heard the witch cry: "Merry Christmas to all, and I hope you all die!"~~The End~~
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