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Gallery Of Suicide
I know a lot of you will give me the most generic answers, saying 'Don't kill yourself!! So many other people have much worse lives!!' and yes, I know people have worse lives, but that doesn't mean I can't b***h and complain about my own without you getting up my a** about it.
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Okay, I'm Tiffany to start with. I've gone through quite a bit in my life, more or less than other people. I suffer from head pain that's totally irregular that I don't know if I should be concerned or be dialing 9-1-1 right now. I live in a semi-abusive household, with both indirect and direst abuse that's emotional, mental, and physical. I get remarks from my dad that are worse than 'oh my god my dad is like, so mean I hate him'. This is an actual hate. Just seeing his face and when he says something makes me want to tell him to shut the ******** up. My mom is better, but not the best. She doesn't agree with what I am and honestly, I could care less about them accepting me. My sister hits me often, whether it's a shove, punch, slap, claw, kick, to a rare but full blown 'Let's beat Tiffany' fest. My parents either a) don't believe me or b) don't want to believe me. Whichever, I don't care. She's claiming to move out in a few months, so it'd end the 10-12 year streak. And, yes, she's 2 years older than me, and she's been hitting me since I was about 6 or 7, when she was 8 or 9. I've gone through fail suicide attempts. I do alright in school, only 1 B since Highschool, and it was in an honors class so it was counted as an A still. Ever since that B I've been told I can't go to a good college, and even if I was smarter I still can't go to the college i had my heart set on. it was the only thing I looked forward to. My dad told me I can't go and he also told me a few weeks ago I'm not going to graduate so i threw all my graduation s**t away. I have liars as people who call themselves my friends but I wouldn't even call them a buddy. I honestly can't think of anything that makes me pretty, attractive, even decent. i dont' at all like the way I look. I can find something beautiful about everyone except myself. I may not have horrible acne but my skin isn't perfect. I don't have booming blue eyes, or anything that people notice. I don't have full lips that are gorgeous. I'm not fat but I'm not one that wears expensive clothes that make what features I do have look great. My hair isn't super long and nice, it's soft but it's midlength. I don't wear makeup. The one person I have to talk to chooses to play videogames over taking to me, and when we do talk, if I'm talking, his mind dies. If I'm quiet, he asks me to talk. All I've been wanting to do lately is cry and lay in bed and sleep. I haven't been wanting to eat. I've been trying hard to be strong and act like nothing's bothering me. I've been lying to him, every time he asks me if I'm okay, if my answer of no is honest, etc, all of which are lies. I've lost all desire for him to voice call me on MSN and on Friday & Saturday night, he'll always ask to stay up late, and that means he'll stay u until 2/3 a.m playing games while I sit there trying not to fall asleep just so he can call, I'll be silent, and it'd be bed time. He'll always play games and stuff when he'd normally be talking, and I always feel horrible, but I feel horrible doing something that takes away from our talk time. Like, tomorrow, I'm going to a party, it goes to like 10 or something, I feel horrible because I'll miss mutual shower time. He always acts a bit upset & sad, but I know he'll just play videogames to fill his time. He just told me late night. I dont' even want to talk to him. I just want to sleep. The things I look forward to now just seem to be whatever and I dont' want to do them. I know I won't make it to college, and I honestly don't want to be around anymore.
i know life is what you make it, but I tried to make it better and i honestly always comes to bite me in the a**. Whenever I do something for me, it isn't good for someone else. When I try to do something for someone else, they don't give a s**t.
Burn, I'm sorry for the childish typo filled bitching and moaning wall fo text, but I just needed someone to rant to.
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Okay, I'm Tiffany to start with. I've gone through quite a bit in my life, more or less than other people. I suffer from head pain that's totally irregular that I don't know if I should be concerned or be dialing 9-1-1 right now. I live in a semi-abusive household, with both indirect and direst abuse that's emotional, mental, and physical. I get remarks from my dad that are worse than 'oh my god my dad is like, so mean I hate him'. This is an actual hate. Just seeing his face and when he says something makes me want to tell him to shut the ******** up. My mom is better, but not the best. She doesn't agree with what I am and honestly, I could care less about them accepting me. My sister hits me often, whether it's a shove, punch, slap, claw, kick, to a rare but full blown 'Let's beat Tiffany' fest. My parents either a) don't believe me or b) don't want to believe me. Whichever, I don't care. She's claiming to move out in a few months, so it'd end the 10-12 year streak. And, yes, she's 2 years older than me, and she's been hitting me since I was about 6 or 7, when she was 8 or 9. I've gone through fail suicide attempts. I do alright in school, only 1 B since Highschool, and it was in an honors class so it was counted as an A still. Ever since that B I've been told I can't go to a good college, and even if I was smarter I still can't go to the college i had my heart set on. it was the only thing I looked forward to. My dad told me I can't go and he also told me a few weeks ago I'm not going to graduate so i threw all my graduation s**t away. I have liars as people who call themselves my friends but I wouldn't even call them a buddy. I honestly can't think of anything that makes me pretty, attractive, even decent. i dont' at all like the way I look. I can find something beautiful about everyone except myself. I may not have horrible acne but my skin isn't perfect. I don't have booming blue eyes, or anything that people notice. I don't have full lips that are gorgeous. I'm not fat but I'm not one that wears expensive clothes that make what features I do have look great. My hair isn't super long and nice, it's soft but it's midlength. I don't wear makeup. The one person I have to talk to chooses to play videogames over taking to me, and when we do talk, if I'm talking, his mind dies. If I'm quiet, he asks me to talk. All I've been wanting to do lately is cry and lay in bed and sleep. I haven't been wanting to eat. I've been trying hard to be strong and act like nothing's bothering me. I've been lying to him, every time he asks me if I'm okay, if my answer of no is honest, etc, all of which are lies. I've lost all desire for him to voice call me on MSN and on Friday & Saturday night, he'll always ask to stay up late, and that means he'll stay u until 2/3 a.m playing games while I sit there trying not to fall asleep just so he can call, I'll be silent, and it'd be bed time. He'll always play games and stuff when he'd normally be talking, and I always feel horrible, but I feel horrible doing something that takes away from our talk time. Like, tomorrow, I'm going to a party, it goes to like 10 or something, I feel horrible because I'll miss mutual shower time. He always acts a bit upset & sad, but I know he'll just play videogames to fill his time. He just told me late night. I dont' even want to talk to him. I just want to sleep. The things I look forward to now just seem to be whatever and I dont' want to do them. I know I won't make it to college, and I honestly don't want to be around anymore.
i know life is what you make it, but I tried to make it better and i honestly always comes to bite me in the a**. Whenever I do something for me, it isn't good for someone else. When I try to do something for someone else, they don't give a s**t.
Burn, I'm sorry for the childish typo filled bitching and moaning wall fo text, but I just needed someone to rant to.
Chieftain Twilight
Diseased Hooker
Chieftain Twilight
Diseased Hooker
Chieftain Twilight
cops won't be able to do much, you're better off calling a Social Worker. and even then, it's easy for your folks to act nice and get away. this s**t is all too common.
and if anyone is telling you that you cant get into a good College with 5 As and an Honours B, they are lying to you. start looking into your Scholarship options right now, and at least one Community College or Junior College on the side. you CAN and WILL get into a University, within 2 to 4 years of graduating Highschool. hell, I did it, and I'm a high-school Drop-Out! I'm running on a GED!
as for your abuse issues, all I can say is, fight back. your sister beats you, and has since you were a baby? she's only 2 years your elder? you've gotta be toughened up by it, you can hold your own! elseways she might have killed you by now!
I'm being real here, not sugar-coated. I'm not gonna smother you with hugs and tears and sweet words. I'll hug you if you like, but I'm gonna be real. because what you need isn't just sympathy; you need advice. why else would you come here? cause evn if it were just for sympathy, you wouldn't get any from me or certain other folks here. we make that clear all the time. I don't like the weak, the quitters, or the snobby brats; and I know someone else here who also does not.
what's an example of what your dad says to you? I'll need to know if I'm to decide whether I find you credible or not.
regardless of all that, I hope you take my advice. it'll help you if you follow it. should solve the majority of your problems. if you submit to every obstacle in your life the world will defeat you. you have to be Strong.
and if anyone is telling you that you cant get into a good College with 5 As and an Honours B, they are lying to you. start looking into your Scholarship options right now, and at least one Community College or Junior College on the side. you CAN and WILL get into a University, within 2 to 4 years of graduating Highschool. hell, I did it, and I'm a high-school Drop-Out! I'm running on a GED!
as for your abuse issues, all I can say is, fight back. your sister beats you, and has since you were a baby? she's only 2 years your elder? you've gotta be toughened up by it, you can hold your own! elseways she might have killed you by now!
I'm being real here, not sugar-coated. I'm not gonna smother you with hugs and tears and sweet words. I'll hug you if you like, but I'm gonna be real. because what you need isn't just sympathy; you need advice. why else would you come here? cause evn if it were just for sympathy, you wouldn't get any from me or certain other folks here. we make that clear all the time. I don't like the weak, the quitters, or the snobby brats; and I know someone else here who also does not.
what's an example of what your dad says to you? I'll need to know if I'm to decide whether I find you credible or not.
regardless of all that, I hope you take my advice. it'll help you if you follow it. should solve the majority of your problems. if you submit to every obstacle in your life the world will defeat you. you have to be Strong.
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I don't like the weak, the quitters, or the snobby brats; and I know someone else here who also does not.
Well isn't that just great. rolleyes A+ for being a d**k right there.
To OP - Just look forward to moving out, that's what I did. It worked great.
thankyou. ^_^ I take Pride in knowing I'm made to ******** the Empty Holes in peoples' lives. over 100% will get me far in going for my Ph.D in my Major; Being a d**k. just call me Dr. d**k.
and no, I'm NOT sorry for what I said. I meant every gods-damned word of it.
Peace~ talk2hand
Refrence: ]http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=20149391&page=5
I'm not even denying that that's true! it is! what of it? at least I'm not ******** giving up! scream I actively seek to better myself, because like every other person in the world I'M NOT ******** PERFECT!! doesn't mean that I should be satisfied with myself, and neither should anybody ******** else! stressed
since when was medicority acceptable!? when the ******** did it become ok to be a whiney, weak, selfless, pathetic piece of s**t!? because it's never been ok to me, and never will be! evil
so how about instead of trying to judge all of us for being "too mean, you're meanie buttheads who use nasty mean words and make peopel cry", you actually post some realy ******** advice that will get someone off their damn feet, and ******** motivate them to make a positive change in their life!?
that is all. -.-
