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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:48 pm
Coming back after disappearing off the grid for 2 years. Please let me know what you think of her :3 This is still my first quest for an RP driven character, so be gentle, but truthful! heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:49 pm
Name: Anika Marwick Nickname: Ani, Annie, Ika (She doesn't really like this one) Age: 16 Birthday: January 6 Sign: Aquarius Gemstone: Apatite Blood Type: A- Fav. Food: Salmon Sashimi Hated Food: Durian School: Crystal Academy Hobbies: Water GardeningAnika spends a lot of time when at home tending to both her outdoor and indoor water gardens. Outdoors one will find a well kept koi pond littered almost artfully with various lilies and lotus plants. If asked Anika will show a bit of chagrin at her parents' choice of backyard pond, but as it was the least expensive of the options available to her she tolerates it. Indoors, however, is a completely different story. Dominating her study is a large acrylic modular fishtank. Each different orb is filled with a different set of plants, macro vertebrates and macro invertebrates from various wetland classifications around the world. She takes great pride in her thriving ecosystems and will tell anyone, at length, about them. Because the ecosystems can be very delicate, Anika will usually sneak out to the local pet or fish stores to see what they have and get supplies. Her parents are less than pleased, they would rather her order everything online than go into town, but sometimes a girl just has to go outside once in a while. After haggling with her parents over which club to join, Anika was allowed to join the after school gardening club to better round out her academic records.PianoHer parents, in an effort to help 'develop Anika culturally', have made her take up the piano from a young age. Strict rules have her practicing for an hour or more each day. In all honesty, she can't stand playing and finds it to be a meaningless waste of time. In an effort to make it amusing as well as 'enriching', Ani will often be found doing experiments with a fishtank nearby, studying the effects of certain song, notes or chords on the hapless fish or water bug inside. Because the experiments have made what would be a tedious task into something she feels is much more viable, it’s developed into a hobby but only as it pertains to the fish and bugs. At concerts where she lacks this aspect, her boredom is apparent. She still performs at small local concerts or weddings, but because it makes her mother happy more than she enjoys it.Reading"Until I feared I would lose it I did not love reading. One does not love breathing." She reads often and avidly, taking great joy in all works from philosophical to political to fantasy. She does have one great weakness though. Trashy romance novels. Hidden from her parents in a small locked box under her bed is found her newest romance novel, which she only dares to read once they have gone to bed. Her parents would find such drivel appalling. Though they do not lack for money to buy whatever books Anika might want, she does sneak off to the library and will spend a fair amount of time just enjoying the sights and smells of a whole building devoted to literature.Tai ChiThis slow moving martial art has fascinated Anika for many years, drawn in by the sense of discipline and control exuded by those who practice it. Anika's mother has been known to be a bit...overly dramatic in private and because of such displays, Anika has been worried she might lose control of her own emotions the same way. At the face of relentless and constant begging from their daughter, Anika's parents decided to let her take classes in Tai Chi, thinking perhaps it would teach her the grace and fluidity that a girl with wealth should have. Until recently she had a private tutor at home but realizing the lack of friends would probably be a detriment to her later in life, her parents not only allowed her to take classes in Tai Chi at a local dojo downtown but also gave her a curfew so she could enjoy the town. Just so long as she had her cell phone with her at all times. Virtues: StudiousBeing the only child of a wealthy family, Ani has grown up with little to worry about and a great excess of time. Most children would run and play, but her parents felt this was "below her" and young ladies should never "horse around". In order to alleviate the ever crushing boredom, she turned to her books. There was so much to learn about how the world worked and what awaited her outside the walls of her home, or even her city. Through tireless study of many different topics, Ani found a natural affinity for science and math. Her parents were less than pleased with her choice of study, which was perhaps a strong factor in her decision to pursue it. Ani works with a more logical and analytical mind than her parents and though her desire to learn leans mostly toward biology and science, it isn't all that she knows well. However, her attention to her studies has left her with...lacking social skills. In spite of this, or perhaps because of it, she has volunteered to tutor other students who are struggling with their math and science courses.GracefulYears spent in Tai Chi classes has improved her balance and coordination, and has also made it easier for her to keep a cool head under pressure. Because of the slow and deliberate movements needed for various poses, she has developed better control over her mind and emotions often appearing unflappable even when inside she may be wishing to scream or cry. PassionateIn all that she does, outside the sphere of public interaction and behaviour, Anika shows a great amount of love and dedication. At school she may seem cold and unwelcoming, but talking with her about school work or a moment at home with her aquarium shows a completely different side to her. She will talk, at great length, about her beloved hobbies and interests, usually revealing far more than anyone else would care to know. Her voice tends to be just a bit higher in pitch and her exuberance is apparent as her speech picks up speed. She speaks of her aquariums as one might speak of a husband or beloved child. If the topic of wetlands, biology or chemistry come up, even in passing, she will explain at great length how and why they are so important; delving into the details that your average person really couldn’t care any less about. Flaws: FastidiousHer attention to detail could be considered a virtue, if it weren't for the fact that she is excessively demanding of others. This can also, and often, be seen as 'bossy'. In school a paper that would normally take a student an hour or two to write takes her six or more and usually far exceeds the teacher's expectations. This can also cause her to be far too critical of those around her that don't go to the same lengths. It also makes her the kind of person who would take a toothbrush or cotton swab to the bathroom tiles to make sure they are as clean as possible. Socially IneptA life dedicated to higher learning with over-protective and controlling parents has left Ani unable to understand simple interactions between people such as sarcasm, rhetorical questions, or even certain turns of phrase. She is known to try and give the best answer she can, or go off on a rant, even as others simply stare at her. Ani also fails to recognize subtle body language and will fail to realize when she is making someone uncomfortable. It’s hard for her to understand that not everyone cares about what she has to say, or the things she enjoys. It also escapes her that just because she understands it, doesn’t mean everyone else does too. It will usually take someone telling her point blank “Anika, no one cares. Be quiet.” before she’ll understand that maybe she’s talked a little too much. In regards to seeming cold and unfeeling at school, this is mostly because she doesn't tend to pass notes, chat in class or seem overly interested in other students.Superiority ComplexShe wholly believes herself to be better than the majority, if not all, of her peers. This is hardly true, but according to her scale of measurement (book learning and knowledge), she stands above everyone around her, even her parents. Her belief of this makes it even harder for her to interact with others. She is often known to point out the failings of those around her, whether they want her to or not. Because of this, she rarely has any friends, but that's the way she prefers it. She would rather be alone with her studies than force herself to "dumb down" her speech for the proletariat. Most attempts at interaction are met with quick, concise answers before she returns to whatever she had been doing. PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION Eyes: Silvery/grey Hair: Excessively long and well maintained coppery hair. Most of her hair hangs freely, down past her knees, but a sizable about is pulled back into a single ponytail at the back of her head. Face: Oval shape, a slighly upturned nose, light freckling over the bridge of her nose and just under the eyes. Body: Slim, bookish type. Clothes:
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:50 pm
Senshi: Sailor Eurynome - Senshi of Swamps Challenge: The swamp can make anything disappear! Fuku Colour: These can be made darker:: Main Color: #14621cSecondary Color: #8B5A2B (or any good shade of brown) Fuku: ((Artist can feel free to edit, manipulate, add or remove anything they wish, these are just thoughts/guidelines of a sort)) Collar Sailor style made of leaves Bow chest and the butt, brown and looking like dripping mud Bodice HAlter top, showing midriff, with a water lily hanging from the bottom where her breastbone is. Sleeves None Brooch Simple round gem Bottoms skirt also made of leaves Tiara Simple gold with a round gem Choker Choker looks like two twined vines with a round gem in the center Shoes Simple wrap sandals that look like vines Gloves Arm length gloves with leafy accents at the tops Accessories Earrings look like bittersweet nightshade (optional); An arm cuff to look like vines on her bicep (also optional) Attacks: Sailor Scout Attack: Attack 1 :: Swamp SnareSailor Eurynome kneels on the ground, one hand reaching out to cause a visible ripple in the earth beneath her. As she braces herself, standing and spreading her feet farther apart, she raises her hand and beckons her enemy closer. The ground under the enemy turns to muck, causing them to sink and slowing their movement and/or attack. How far they sink depends on how much they struggle, but at most they will sink to their ankles. It's possible to escape the muck, as it acts much like quicksand or thick mud, but it will take time. The ground softens for 15 seconds, then slowly returns to normal over another 15 seconds. She can use it up to 3 times in a fight, but after the first cast, the other two are easier to escape. Super Sailor Scout Attack: Attack 1+ :: Swamp ScareAlmost identical to her first attack, except this time the muck is deeper and will pull them down up to their knees if they struggle. It takes longer to pull them down this far than in the first attack. The ground softens for 20 seconds, then slowly returns to normal over another 20 seconds. Can be cast twice, though the second time is easier to escape. Eternal Sailor Attack: Attack 2 :: Bloody BayouA continuation of her first two abilities, this time the attack is an area of effect type in a 8 foot radius from her and can trap anyone, opponent or ally, in the muck up to their knees if they struggle. In addition, vines fly out of the muck and holds them down, stopping their movement. The ability doesn't last very long and takes a great deal of her energy to use. This attack lasts 45 seconds. It can be cast twice, but if she does cast it the second time, she's used up so much energy she can't help with the rest of the fight.
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:11 pm
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:50 pm
I heart critting. So far, I'm liking Anika, but I think you can develop her a bit more! So here's some suggestions:
- Overall I like her hobbies, they totally lend a hand a shaping her into looking like a little lady. However, with Tai Chi could you elaborate on it? What about Tai Chi attracts her? How did she learn about it? What does it to do for her (i.e. does it help her clear her mind and relax, does she like it for the exercise, has it taught her to be patient)?
-Intelligence: Right now it seems more about reading than anything else. I think you can make it about more than that. Sure she reads, but how does she apply the knowledge she gains? Maybe try saying something like "Through reading, she learned she has a natural affinity for the sciences." And then you can explain how or why that is so. Does she work hard and study a lot? Do certain subjects come easier to her? Like, I'd imagine that subjects like science and math, with very concrete/rational answers would be easier for her than something abstract?
-How does her passionate side reveal itself? Does she become really talkative when a subject comes up that interests her? Does she put all her energy into things that she's passionate about? Elaborate just a bit! Cause right now I could easily read this trait more as 'tender' than passionate.
-With the superiority complex, how does this show? Does she 'snub' people? Does she ignore people who she feels are inferior? Does she constantly try to correct people and say things like "Actually... it's blah blah blah"
I'm awful generally when it comes to powers, but I'll try to help. I like the swamp sphere a lot, but her power seems more about vines/plants. Maybe you can make it so the vines shoot up from the ground and wrap around the ankles of a person while the ground around them becomes muddy and thick? Making it harder to move around (You could call it Swamp Snare!!)? Then in the super the vines can become barbed/moves up the body and/or the ground starts to pull the person in. Maybe as an eternal you can transform a small area into a swampy pit?
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 8:10 pm
Oho, good ideas! I was a little worried about the power too, and I like your idea of making it "mushy" around them. *ponders*
Edit:: Ok! updated the bio part, new stuff in bold. The powers were completely reworked.
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 9:25 pm
Much better! Adding in little things to explain hows/whys on traits/hobbies really help give her more depth! When you're going over other parts, just think to yourself if you can answer the basic How, Why, What, When, Where questions. If you can add it in!
Powers seem good and totally invoke the idea of swamps more for me. Again, I'm not the best with them, so I'm sure more people will be able to help you out with them! I think the only things I can think of to comment on now are:
-I find it funny her parents are disappointed with liking science? I would think most parents would think "great! my kid can be a doctor!" or something like that. So I'm wondering if her parents are in english-literature-legal type fields, which could account for the disappointment (in a 'oh, my child is not like me!' way). So maybe a parent is a lawyer or something and another is a writer or literary critic/professor (or both are). Maybe they even pushed her to read, or reading is something she picked up from them. I bet her house is full of books!
Maybe make a small section on her parents later? "Ani works with a more logical and analytical mind than her parents" Personality should be about her and not her parents really, so you can cut the 'than her parents' part. That kind of info can be put into a family/friends section later.
With the powers, does the sinking happen right away or is it gradual? How long do these attacks last? Anywhere between 30 seconds to a minute is probably good for the starter level. Maybe 2 minutes or so for the super or eternal? Going up to the waist seems really deep to me, but if it happens fairly slowly I can under it.
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 9:55 pm
Yeah i'm planning more in depth later, but her dad is a lawyer and her mom is a psychiatrist.
I was thinking it would be pretty quick as it's single target and the vines are pulling them down?
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 4:05 am
Hiyas Prismatic,
Below are a few things that came to mind
Student ~ Anika's hobbies, flaws and virtues read quite well together and give me a good sense of what she's like as a character.
~ With regards to her Tai Chi classes, does Anika take public classes or does she have a private tutor? (Just something I'm curious about)
Senshi ~ I like the description of the attacks smile ~ How long do the attacks last? How many times can Sailor Eurynome use them a day? ~ The Super Senshi attack kind of bugs me a little if the target ends up sinking to their waist quickly should it connect. Kind of stacks things up in Eurynome's favour a lot. Having the vines drag the target down slower would work better to me as it gives the target the opportunity to try and escape
Hope the crits help a little smile
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:48 am
She had a private tutor (I added it in ^^)
I could certainly make it take longer. She's mostly a 'support' character in combat (think Mercury), so I had thought it would be ok, but I can change it ^^ I always stress over powers cause I never know what would be too OP and tend to gimp myself <.<;
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Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 8:42 am
I like her personality! (It'll be neat to see how she interacts with the other students). <33
You'll need to specify the duration for her attacks, however. Does the muck hold them in for thirty seconds? A minute?
Battles don't last for a relatively 'long' period of time, so I'd suggest keeping the first attack with a shorter duration, extending the time as she powers up (since the second attack is very similar to the first).
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Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 1:51 pm
Everything is fixed up, just waiting for a stamp now I think ^^
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Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 11:20 am
Hi Prismatic!
Just a few things about the quest I wanted to make mention of.
The first is that I'm genuinely confused on why Ani would need a private tutor in Tai Chi in order to minimize her risk of injury. As someone who has done Tai Chi before I can't think of a single movement that could possibly result in injury especially when you consider the slow rate at which the body moves.
Piano doesn't seem much like a hobby to me for 2 reason: the first being that she finds it distasteful and the other is that, I imagine, she only spends the minimum amount of time each day in practice - 1 hour. But, really, hobbies are generally defined as things a person does for pleasure, to unwind, and the way you described it Piano would not qualify.
Philosophical is spelled incorrectly.
Intelligent sounds less like a trait of her personality and more like an ability she has thus it doesn't work as a virtue despite the fact that people could look up to her for it. You might be able to rework it to be "studious". Remember - a flaw or virtue only works if it is a trait of someone's personality and should be written to show how this helps or hinders her interaction with others.
I'm also really confused about passionate and most just by how it's worded. Is she only passionate about her hobbies? You mentioned she was not very open while at school despite liking to read and being intelligent so to me that seems a bit counteractive to her passionate virtue. And if she's socially inept who does she tend talk to about her interests? That's not so much a drawback as a personal curiosity. I can imagine Ani going on and on and on about her aquariums to, say, the head cheerleader or something completely unaware that said cheerleader has zero interest. Could be funny!
Socially inept should probably be expanded to include more than the few examples you gave. While it might be awkward to not understand a sarcastic phrasing it's not really something that someone would look down on her for and should probably be a little more developed to encompass more than simple misunderstanding.
As a final note about her civ side it seems like a lot of her hobbies are singular and while that's fine this is a shop about RP interaction and this will make it very hard for her to meet and get along with any character for an extended amount of time. It's not against the rules but it will make RP difficult.
The second thing I noticed as purely an observational thing is that a lot of emphasis is put on her intelligence and, again, while this isn't wrong or against the rules it doesn't really provide her with a lot of facets as a character.
A note about her powers:
The attack should not require participation on an enemies part in order to work. For example in your first attack if the enemy simply fails to respond to her physical taunting (which I wouldn't if I saw the ground ripple and could reasonably figure out that magic is being used) the way I've read it is that the power fails to work. Also - and maybe I'm wrong, you could probably skip the vines altogether on the first attack and simply have the ground turn to quicksand beneath an opponent. Otherwise it feels like it does a bit too much. There needs to be a little room for an enemy to dodge or something as most powers do.
And for clarification - the way I read this attack is that it takes 15 seconds to get into it and 15 to get out of it? It's reasonable if so. But how many times can she use it in a battle and are the subsequent uses easier to get out of than the first?
The second power has the same drawback of doing too much (it not only cuts people but also drags them down into muck?) but the duration, as it reads, is too long. It takes 30 seconds in and 30 seconds out for a total of 1 minute of time where they are, ostensibly, helpless. If you think of battles as only lasting about 5 minutes this is a VERY long power. And, again, you need to specify how many times it can be used per battle and if the subsequent uses are weaker or not.
Her Eternal attack has the same flaws at the first 2 and isn't described very well. Does everything in a 10 foot radius around her turn into muck? If so it would be possible to trap more than 3 enemies. How does she extend the time? Attacks have a set limit on times so she would have to cast it again to extend the time it uses. And I could be wrong but I don't think you can summon actual leeches as a power. Ghosty ones, maybe, but not actual leeches.
I'm so sorry for the wall of text but I'm trying to be helpful. If you need help thinking of how to edit things try perusing a few accepted profiles. If you have any questions about my wall of text feel free to PM me or hit me up on AIM (Zaia2001). Just let me know who you are so I don't wonder. XD
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Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 12:01 pm
I'm tweaking the parts you talked about, but in all honesty I have no idea what I'm doing RE: Attacks. I was getting help for those, but I'm really just fumbling in the dark about it. I'm gonna IM you <3
Edit: I tweaked the character bits, new bits are in bold :3
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