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 Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:13 pm
Thanks for looking! C:
It would my joy if you would crit him C:
And if you ask I will crit back. ^^
place holding for sumti
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:59 pm
Name: Pippin
Nicknames: He would love if you think of some, really. Seriously, Pippin gets boring after awhile.
Breed:Munchkin
Attached To: Salior Draconis (Already talk to chi about it!)
Alignment: Senshi of Animals.
Age: He looks like a child. :D I'm saying his mid-twenties
Birthday: He likes to think its July 25th. Give him a gift on this day and he will love you forever.
Fav. Food: Suckers, candy, anything that’s sweet. Anything sweet is all that he eats.
Hated Food: food off the street. That's just so nasty.
Hobbies:
Shinnnny: Pippin has a bit obsession with things that are shiny. Since he is a cat, he tends to stay around shopping areas and pick up odds and ends that people happen to drop. Yes, this means that this little kitty is a bit of a hoarder. He has a pile of things he dubs shiny and will lay on them as if it was his cat n**. He will spend hours, on end, finding things he likes and taking them back to his pile. This cat has expensive taste,he loves rings, necklaces, bracelets, of the diamond choice. But as you can tell it's a bit hard to steal get them, so pippin will take anything his little paws can get on that is shiny enough to make him happy.
Shopppiing!!: Ok this goes along with his hoarding obsession, but really who doesn’t love to shop. Pippin loves the rush of going into a new store and seeing new shiny and pretty items and he loves to dress up which goes along with shopping perfectly. He hopes that he can find a friend that will take him to go shopping as he cannot go in himself because he’s a cat. Yes, this cat steals anything he can get his little paws on. (I’m hoping that I can plot this out with a character that would like to take him out shopping so he could find the things he likes.) This also doesn't help, when he thinks that he's a real person because most of the time he will walk right into the shopping place of his choice and look around for thing he want.
People Watching: This cat loves to do this. He will spend hours on end watching people, because he believes this will help him become a better boy. He thinks that watching people and picking up their trait and using them to make him seem more human, will help him really become one. So he does this a lot because all he dreams of is being a human boy.
Taking care of his animals: Pippin keeps tab of all his animal, and believe him this a full time job. He's always on the watch to make sure they are in tip top shape. He wants them to be the best team ever and he thinks it's his job to make sure of that so he's always checking up on them.
Virtues:
Organized: Being the cat that he is, he has to be organized and luckily for him he has always been like this. Pippin stays organized, he tends to always put items or event, etc in order or in stacks where they can be easily found. He can not stand when something is out of place and is always making sure that things are in order. It's easier for him to find things and when he cannot, he knows that it's time to put them in order. He tends to be a little ocd about this and can get out of hand. He will yell and complain when something is not in order for him and will go out of his way to fix it.
Friendly: Gosh darn it, is this cat friendly. Pippin has no social grace when it comes to meeting someone new. He will move into anyone personal space to meet someone new. He loves to talk to new people and learn different things about them. He's always waving at people or giving a friendly "hello" or smile. Even people that aren't power he will give a soft nudge to show them that he is saying hello. He loves people and he wants to get to know them all. On top of this, this cat is very loving. He's always trying to make people feel better and will do anything to help them feel better. He loves to give out hugs or even kisses if he has too.
Polite: This Munchkin is very polite. He will open doors for people or offer a hand if he can. He's always saying thank your or excuse me. He always uses his manners and when he doesn't he often apologize for it. He a proper little gentlemen and likes it that way. When this cat first meet you he will either call your mister or mame until you give out you name. He think being polite will help him get what he wants and it's nice so he likes doing it.
Flaws:
Greedy: This is mine, and this, Oh and this too! He thinks everything is his and free for the taking. He will take and keep it without letting anyone touch his things or use them. He’s very stingy and doesn’t know the word share. He never thinks he has enough and wants every little shiny thing he can get his little paws on. He will become very charming to get what he wants. He will do anything in his little body to get what he wants. If need be he will tell a little lie or show off a small purr. He tends to use his good looks to charm anything and everything. He talks to impressed when he has too.
Habitual Lair: Since Pippin goes out and act like he’s a real boy and is a sweet talker, he lies quite a bit. He tends to lie about almost anything and everything. He would rather keep his real life under warp and give you a sweet little lie instead. Since he lies so much, it has become second nature to tell a lie instead of telling the truth. He tend to tell only white lies most of the time but sometime when he just wants to have fun he will just tell a big phony lie for the heck of it. He's a bit of a derp when it comes to this. o uo
Overbearing: This cat talks lot. He will never shut up, I mean he will talk off your ear and keep doing it. He's always talking about something and it might not even deal with you, he just enjoys it so much, maybe a little too much. He tends to talk so much that he becomes overbearing and won't let others get a word out. He just has that much to say. This is a flaw because he tends to annoyed people because first of all he talk too them to much and he won't really let them talk unless they force their voice in. Which makes him a bit pushy. He tends to push his ideas on people, without really trying. He'll either talk someone down with a idea or keep pushing a idea on them. He's not really trying to but it's really just come off that way. He's not trying to do it in ill-will it's just in his nature.
The Odd thing about this Odd cat:
Ok so throughout his whole profile I've been mentioning about him dreaming about being a real boy. At first I was going to make it a flaw but I just thought it would be more fitting to put it in it's own section. Haha, anyway something is terrible wrong with this cat. He dreams of becoming a human and thinks he's a person trapped in a cat body. He knows his duties of being a cat but he dreams of being a person more then anything. He believes that if he becomes a person he will be able to help out his animals better. He tries his hardest to act like a human more then a cat. You will never see Pippin more then once act like a cat unless he really has too. The only time when he does ,is when he's around a human which he really hate, he would rather act like them because he knows that he's a human. When he's around power character he tend to walk on two legs and act like a human would act.To him it feels werid to walk on four paws. He tends to call his front legs and paws, arms and hands, and his back legs and paws, legs and feet. He has all the gestures down. He just doesn't really understand why he's trap in this cat body.
(This something wrong with his brain.......yep, horribly wrong)
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:00 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:57 am
Hi Bunny, Here are a few things that came to mind when reading through Pippin's profile: Hobbies~ I want to real boy! Think it's missing a 'be'. Spelling nitpick aside I'd advise running this hobby past a staff member to see if it'll fly as it stands, since if I remember right Guardian's give off a massive energy signal in human form which makes them easier to trace. Didn't feel able to crit the 'Shinnnny' and 'Shopping' hobbies as they have aspects that kind of need Pippin to be in human form, although the idea of a kleptomaniac cat made me smile. Virtues~ Quick thinker Skipped the bit about him going out as a human. Not sure I like how it reads at the moment, it kind of came across to me as he always has an excuse on hand which will guarantee to get him out of trouble. Maybe something like: Pippin is good at thinking on his feet and if in trouble is good at thinking up excuses/ reasoning on the fly. He can also be a bit of a con-artist and if he sees something he likes, will try to think of ways to part the other person from that item would be better ~ Sweet talker Spelling nitpick: art for um The 'He can talk his way into anyone’s heart or out of anything' bugged me a little, as it made the virtue come across as a guaranteed cert. Maybe something like: He's good at talking his way into people's hearts and can talk most people out of anything would be better Flaws~ Clumsy This flaw didn't work to well for me, since he's coming across as a quick thinker, good at talking his way out of trouble with a kleptomaniac habit - and then the first flaw up is clumsy ~ Pathology Lair Spelling nitpick - Pathological Liar Sorry about the long crit, hope some of it is useful. I think the profile is a good start smile Would love a return crit on my Athene quest if that's okay
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:01 pm
Hey Bunni!
You're going to have to remember that Guardian Cats can rarely be in their human form, unless they want to be captured, due to their strong energy signal.
The Negaverse would pretty much know right away if he wasn't in cat form.
The hoarding thing could work, just as long as he's in cat form!
Shopping might also work, as long as he had a human companion to buy things for him.
litian pretty much covered the other things I'd mention, so I see no point in repeating it. XD;
I'll take a look again once the human bits are fixed. <33 You have a good base, though!
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:24 pm
Thanks you two! C:
On the Real boy option I was putting that up there to see if I was allowed but know I see I can't So I will put something there instead or re-work where Pippin strives to be one. C:
And With the hoarding He'll be in cat form then.
And Shopping I'm hoping I can find a character he can bond with and go shopping with. I will add all of this once I get to re-working his profile. ^^
Well you see with Clumsy, I had to find a way to put this in as he's is because in his Character design he's going to be cover in band-aid. I thought maybe I explain it well that he cannot see but Maybe I'll just say he likes to cover himself in band-aid. Not to sure what to do with that.
Thank you both and I will get to work on him. ^^
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:55 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:43 pm
here to critique, chii at your service ! o Ao /salutes is there any reason he would "like to think" that his birthday is that particular date? or is he just an oddball xD for the hoarding, i think its adorable, but what does he do with all his hoarded things? what kind of things does he go for (you say shiny, but shiny rages from wristwatches to pennies). is there anything in particular he likes to hoard? when you say he spends hours hoarding things- does he just walk into the middle of a mall and wait for someone to drop something shiny? i cant think this would happen to often- so how does he get his booty loot? as for flaws; does he put his quick thinking to any use except his own purposes? what i mean is, does he ever use his quick thinking for good? spelling edit; you put "art forum" when i think you meant "art form" c: by talking people into doing whatever he wants, does that mean anyone? i cant imagine a civilian thinking a talking cat is normal, so does he hide this trait until he trusts the person? i see a little conflict with patient as well. you say he talks people into doing/getting him things, but he can wait for it? that doesnt make much sense to me. perhaps cunning is what you mean- in that he knows how to get what he wants? im not quite sure if that makes sense, and im not sure if i understood that section well- tell me if im wrong xD does he ever share any of his belongings? does he ever tell the truth? what kind of lies are we talking is what we should establish first. there is a difference between "oh i was out on a walk and i saw a hippo in the middle of the city" and "oh i just found that gem on my walk- i swear!" basically, is he a "white liar" or just a big phoney fraud face o v o <3 to me, having such a clumsy cat would be rather ... odd? i get clumsiness, i do (i compulsively trip, seriously > . > ) but i think his inability to even walk without falling over is kind of ridiculous. maybe ton it down a bit? as for your "real boy" dilemma, i think it could still be worked in. perhaps even as a cat he wears clothes because he thinks it makes him more human likes? ive seen cats with jackets and hats before. maybe thats not your style though :T ALSO. MAKE HIM BFFS WITH TALIA. THEY'RE BOTH OBSESSIVE HOARDERSSS <333 crit back please? <3
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:54 am
Hi Bunny, not a crit but something that came to mind - if as a character Pippin is going to be covered in band aids, then why not give him a collecting band aids hobby? Maybe he could have a particular type he likes to collect and wear e.g. cartoon cats etc... Maybe he could talk a bonded senshi into shopping for them for him if he gets one xd
It could also fit into the fact he's a bit of a hoarder smile
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Posted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 5:00 pm
Would you mind changing the font size on your form to at least 11? So much teeny tiny text is kind of a headache for me to read. ^^;
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Posted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 7:47 pm
Thanks Chi for the amazing crit! -will get to work on him when I'm not too sleeply-
litian: That's a good idea but I'm going to wait for his offical art before I start doing that. I gave Natu my custom and she had to change somethings and have colorist frredom of what to change. So I'mm going to wait until then and maybe not use clusmy because it doesn't workk too well. o Ao
oh! I'm sorry mouse, sure. C: <3
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:09 pm
So i finally fixed him up! 8D
Please pleas cirt him please. <333
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:21 pm
Pippin sounds very sweet, but you might want to run his profile through a spell check program. There were a few mistakes, especially in the portion where you talk about him wanting to be a real human. There were also a couple word mix ups.
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Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 12:25 pm
Ok ok fix that section up.
Cirts please o wo
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:49 am
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Reply
