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Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 7:19 pm
A boy, a horrible boy, who never seemed to care A boy, who would never even notice the was there
A heart, broken and bruised A heart, you absentmindedly abuse
A girl, with many tears cried A girl, who knows every trick you tried
A tear, that rips through her life A tear, that makes her reach for the knife
A shadow, casted in the wrong direction A shadow, of your once everlasting affection
A blade, with dreadful blood stains A blade, she never really feels the pain
A vein, her knife sliced through A vein, all because of you
A scream, infected the quiet night A scream, she dropped the knife
A pool, of crimson blood surrounding her A pool, that fed off the hurt you caused her
A clock, which counts the seconds no one noticed she was gone A clock, which never shows time like the break of dawn
A hug, was all she ever wanted in her miserable world A hug, a loving hug, you gave to another girl
Feedback/Critique?
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Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 1:01 pm
This is brilliant! Are you an author or something? Hey, the first couple of lines rhymes! I can never get things to rhyme, unless it's really bad like...well, I can't think of anything right now...
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Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 1:44 pm
jacki_heart_1312 This is brilliant! Are you an author or something? Hey, the first couple of lines rhymes! I can never get things to rhyme, unless it's really bad like...well, I can't think of anything right now... Haha Thank you! And no, I really do want to become an author one day though ^-^ And don't worry about it, with a little practice, you can become better ^-^
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