I think it’s on like the sixteenth. XD Either way it marks the fifth year I’ve been with Kat, and considering we’re only in our early twenties, that’s a sobering thought. s**t, a majority of my peers can’t keep their relationships together for more than eight months. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing - we’re all just kids at this age and it’s hard to grow up and grow together at the same time. I know Kat and I are different people from our high school selves.

We’ve built the beginnings of a life here in Kansas, and I’d NEVER EVER guess I’d be saying this, but I like where we are and I’m happy to have gotten stranded in this shithole city in this lonely state, because after scraping and bleeding for a couple of years, I’ve gathered up our foundation, together with Kat. We own our own house, we’ve accumulated a little family of furry faces and started rebuilding relationships with my mother - once the ice queen who gave me nightmares - and Kat’s brother, I have a steady job I think I can advance in if I stick to it… It’s not perfect. I’m on Food Stamps and it’s a struggle to pay the bills sometimes (moreso due to my irresponsible spending habits than anything else; Marcus set us back like two months lol) and Kat and I fight like cats and dogs… but it’s my life and I’ve busted my a** and broken my heart to get here.

So as my five year anniversary drifts closer, I wanted to take a second to reflect on my past struggles and future goals, but mostly on the partner I have in the present, who is beautiful, hilarious, needy, bitchy, patient, prone to snoring, smiles pure sunlight, laughs hard, creative, frustrating, engaging in conversation, argumentative, open-minded, and willing; she is not perfect, but just like my life, she’s something I’ve fought for and don’t intend to let go. She’s what helps me sleep at night and what gets me going in the morning. She’s what turns me on, what motivates me, what gives me hope that tomorrow my day won’t suck as much as the last, what inspires me to write and struggle on and slosh through the store’s flooded parking lot with aching feet and a big ******** grin on my face because, s**t, she ain’t winning any argument tonight after what I’ve gone through. She challenges everything I am and at the same time gives me faith in myself. She pisses me off so much I can’t stand it, and makes me fall in love so ******** hard it forcefully tears up my insides and fills them with hot mush. She makes me happy, she makes me come, she makes me so depressed I can’t stand it, she makes me be a better person even though I’m kicking and screaming against change. She’s a video game that has no save points, gives me no choice but to keep going because of all the progress I’ve made, all the boss fights I’ve defeated and all the treasure chests I’ve kicked open whether she wanted to share or not. Her heart’s the triforce but she’s also Ganondorf, fighting me for it, and hell she’s also Princess Zelda waiting in something skimpy at the final stage.

Five ******** years - 60 months, almost two thousand days, more hours than I can ******** count - I’ve been in this theme park of a relationship, getting sick from gorging on concession stand candy, screaming in terror on each new crazy ride, enjoying every last sight because I want my goddamn money’s worth. Sometimes it’s too ******** much, sometimes it’s sharp and sarcastic like Universal, sometimes it’s sickly sweet like Disney, and sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t have bought that unending pass in the first place. But whether it was wise or not, I’m never ******** letting my year-round ticket go.

I’m running out of relevant metaphors and don’t want to make any Harry Potter ones, because THAT is a Hogwarts Express of thought that I could run into the ground for hours, so I’m going to shut up now.

I love Kat, and I’m ******** satisfied looking back at all our mutual struggles, because we’re here together now and this b***h ain’t goin’ NOWHERE.

But, you know... neither am I.