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 Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 3:41 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 8:28 pm
And he is ready for crit/mark. biggrin
- spoke to Noya about the event with Losasath.
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Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:03 am
Heyo Inf!
Glad to see our first purple almost out and about, but a couple things and they're mostly my fault.
First, I need you to add in a "why this rider?" bit for Losasath. I forgot to put it in the form back when you first posted this, so my bad.
Second, all dragons except whites and blacks (and others in very special circumstances) are wingriders / wingleaders, not guards. Again, not your fault, since this wasn't posted when you started this here app.
"Guard" in terms of dragonriders doesn't necessarily refer to just their caretakers. It refers to the dragons expected to chase down the prisoner's if they try and escape, which are the whites. V'tor is a wingrider. =]
And finally, having a kid with a prisoner is a serious offense, so we'll need you to add the repercussions in his backstory for his father. He would have been sent straight back to Ghenza if he was found out at the least.
Sexual involvement with prisoners can be seen as one step away from romantic involvement, and the last thing the higher ups want is one of their guards (who are supposed to be the most upstanding people on either island) helping someone escape in the name of "love".
Also, what made this particular woman so special? If his father was notorious for giving in to a pretty face they probably wouldn't have assigned him to watch her to begin with, so a little more info on that would be great.
Other than that it looks good!
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Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:54 pm
Fixed his ranking
Fixed his parentage
Added the 'Why this rider' portion. smile
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