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 Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:20 pm
Rasiel took in a deep breath, entering the academy gates with his bags in his hands. It had been a while that he had been gone. Closing his eyes, he attempted to remember Deskri's face. But all that rang out was his sister's angry face. Sighing once more, he shook the image from his head. He had spent more time with Alice than he had wanted to.
'Is Deskri really always going to be there for you? He seems like the kinda guy to run away from his problems. What if you get hurt, I doubt he'd be strong enough to come to your aid. If I were you, I'd reconsider your love interest in him. I just don't want to see you get hurt.'
The words echoed through his mind as he frowned. She had a point, but then again, Rasiel felt like he couldn't live without Deskri. They had been friends since they were little kids, and had been through everything together. He couldn't imagine a life without him. "Alice doesn't know what she's talking about... Deskri would always be there..." he reassured himself as he walked through the courtyard.
He entered the dormitories, walking back to the room where he once stayed with Deskri. Taking out his key, he unlocked the door and walked in. He had hoped to see Deskri laying in the bed or something like that. But all he was met with was a destroyed room. "What the-..." he muttered under his breath as he walked in and set his bags on his bed and just stared out at the messy room. Desks were turned over, and most the items looked as though they had been thrown about. The image confused Rasiel as he tried to understand why Deskri could have done such a thing. He merely stood there, not saying a word, just staring.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:30 pm
Deskri had snapped from depression to anger several days before, and had spent the time destroying anything and everything that reminded him of Rasiel. He hadn't gotten a goodbye letter, a call, or even a farewell in person. All he knew was that he had been abandoned. Left behind, once more, as if he were nothing but trash. Which was what he had been feeling like the entire time.
He'd lost several pounds, since eating no longer interested him. Without his illusions up, people could see that he was little more than flesh and bones. He had, of course, taken up cutting and pill abuse once more in an attempt to spend most of his time unconscious, because dreaming was much better than reality, even if it was a nightmare.
As the door opened, Deskri had settled himself down in a pile of broken objects and was trying to either fix them or throw them away. He looked up, expecting it to be Asu or someone else that had opened the door.
His eyes locked on Rasiel and he stared for a good moment or two, not sure what he was seeing. Had his powers gotten under control again? He had been... making pretend Rasiel's for awhile, but he'd always banished them once they were complete... they were never perfect like he was.
"Rasiel...?" He voice that came though his mouth sounded pained, forced, but also angry. He still had a pit of rage deep inside of him that hadn't been satisfied with just destroying the room, no... not at all.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:39 pm
Rasiel had stared at all the broken items about the place for more than a few minutes now. He had felt the stale silence about the place, assuming that he may have been alone. He was then startled by the sudden break in silence as a voice rang out. He heard his own name, and somehow the sound of the voice both pleased and unnerved him. "Hello? Deskri?" he called out in return, his face not changing in emotion as his eyes scanned the room. Soon his eyes settled on a pile of broken objects, remembering that Deskri had tended to hide amongst the various things in the room. Rasiel was calm, almost accepting of the surreal feeling of the whole matter. He waited for the voice to call out to him again, hoping that it wasn't just his imagination playing tricks on him.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:45 pm
The confirmation that it was indeed Rasiel standing in the door caused the rage to boil up and overwhelm him once more. He stood up, and trudged over to the other Meta. Without hesitation he then slapped him as hard as he possibly could, (seeing as he is nothing but skin and bones now...) eyes flaring to an angry red.
"Do you have ANY idea how sick I've been?!" His voice was surprisingly strong compared to moments earlier. He stared at the taller male, angry eyes beginning to fill with tears. It was then that the anger died down and a wave of sadness washed over him. He wrapped his arms around Rasiel, clinging as tightly as he could manage. "Why did you leave me again? I can't do this Rasiel, I can't..."
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:59 pm
Rasiel was filled with happiness as Deskri emerged from the pile of broken objects, but was quickly subsided as the other Meta suddenly slapped him across the face. Placing an idle hand against the stinging cheek, he seemed surprised at his actions. Frowning lightly, he was then hugged by Deskri, which only led him to more confusion. "I can't believe you'd assume that I'd leave you on purpose!" he retaliated then sighed. "Deskri, what does that matter? I'm back now." he closed his eyes, almost drained from having to spend all that time with his family against his will. He really just wanted to stay here with Deskri. He wrapped his arms around the other Meta, embracing him tightly. "Let's just... forget about all this. It doesn't matter." he muttered softly, trying to avoid talking about what he had to go through to get back to him.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:10 pm
"You left without so much as a note! What was I supposed to think." Deskri looked up at Rasiel, the tears had started to escape his eyes. "I can't just forget it Rasiel, it does matter. I am nothing without you and you just up and disappeared for whatever reason and just come parading back in like everything is fine and it's NOT fine!" He shook his head and pushed himself away from Rasiel. He wiped at his eyes, smearing the eyeliner. "I cannot do this. The only reason I'm not dead right now is because people keep checking in on me. I want to love you Rasiel, I do, I still love you but I can't... I can't let you have all of me if this keeps happening! This is the second time you've disappeared, what if it happens a third time? I won't be able to handle it by then." He stifled a sob that rose up in his throat and looked away. It hurt to do what he was doing, it tore him apart on the inside, but he knew it had to be done.
As much as he loved Rasiel, as much as he felt as though there would never be anyone else, he had to end it. Giving so much of himself to someone only to have them disappear without any explanation was too much, just too much...
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:37 pm
Rasiel couldn't believe what he was hearing. "W-wait? What are you talking about, Deskri? What are you saying?" he desperately tried to understand the situation, but still denied it for what it was. "No... You can't mean-..." he sighed and shook his head.
'Maybe Alice was right...' he thought, closing his eyes.
He pondered, deciding whether Deskri would even listen to reason. Knowing him, probably not. Deskri was stubborn, when he decided something, he never gave up. At least that's what Rasiel thought.
"I'm sorry.." he choked out softly. He avoided eye contact for now, trying his best to collect himself. "So what do you suggest we should do?" he asked. He feared the answer, getting the feeling what Deskri was already going to say. Alice's words were sinking in further now, just as Obscurite's had so long ago. They stung like a bittersweet wound on the inside of his chest. He just stood there, waiting for a reply, which felt like ages of silence.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:44 pm
"I want..." Deskri started and then choked up, taking a moment to take a shaky deep breath and then let it out slowly. "I want us to still... b-be friends... I just... I just don't think I can be this attached to you, this... this dependent on you without knowing if you're g-going to stay here with me or disappear on me again." He finally looked up, sniffling a little. "I don't w-want to hurt you b-but I know if.. if this keeps up I really will g-go through with it, Rasiel... n-next time..." He paused, wrapping his arms around himself. "N-next time you wouldn't h-have anyone to c-come back to."
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:00 pm
Rasiel listened closely to Deskri's words, trying his best to take it all in. As the words echoed from his mouth, he could feel the beating of his heart quicken and the pain began to well up in his chest and throat. Everything he didn't want to hear had just been brought forth, and he honestly didn't know what else to think of it. He thought hard, doing his best to keep his composure in the situation. "I-if you really f-feel that way..." he started, but then paused, still lost in the moment of his pain.
'No.... ********.. NO! Dammit!! ********> he cursed in his mind as his face stayed still.
In that moment, he took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and smiled reassuringly. "Deskri.... I understand what you mean... And... You're probably right. I really want nothing more than to see you happy. So if that's what it takes to make you happy, then so be it." he spoke calmly, trying to keep an appearance of being fine with it. Rasiel was too stubborn in his ways to show weakness for the situation.
"Besides.... it's not like we'll never see each other again... We'll still be friends.... So don't you worry about me. I'll be fine... Everything will be okay, right?" he forced a smile, and took another breath, completely ignoring the pain he felt in his heart.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:07 pm
He honestly hadn't expected Rasiel to take it so well, but then again, for once in his life, he supposed that his logic on the situation was sound by anyone's standards. He wanted to hug him, he'd give anything to do that, but he remained in his spot, listening to what Rasiel had to say.
"I'm s-sorry I'm d-doing this... m-maybe... m-maybe you can f-f-find someone that c-can go with you... w-when you go w-wherever you go." He sniffed again and brought up a hand to wipe at his eyes. "I-I'm.. sorry I d-destroyed y-your things..." He glanced over to what was Rasiel's bed, which was now covered in shattered glass and pottery, as well and feathers from his pillow and fabric from any clothes that got caught up in his rage. "I-I'll try to replace it..."
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:16 pm
"D-don't worry about that... I mean, I'll find someone. And those things... they're material, my mother can replace them. Please, don't worry so much." he answered, still forcing his smile. After a moment, he found that he couldn't think of anything else to say. Pulling a hand up to rub the back of his head, he looked to the side and sighed. "I guess... I should go then.... I'll just..uhhh... stay with my sister.." he offered as he moved to his bed and picked up his bags. "Deskri... I-.... I'm sorry if I hurt you..." he muttered softly.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:53 pm
"No, no... you don't have to go, really." Deskri shook his head, reaching out to place a hand on Rasiel's arm. "I grew... while you were gone so..." He paused, taking a breath, "I got my own place... so you have the dorm all to yourself." He forced a small smile. "Don't apologize for that I'm sure I--" he paused again, no he wasn't sure he was hurting Rasiel. He seemed hurt, yes, but on the inside was he really? Was he really hurt or was he putting up an act and actually celebrating on the inside?
He wasn't sure, but he wanted to believe that it hurt. "I'm not much better, am I?" The smile faded into a frown once more. "I already moved most of my stuff out... s-so you can use my old bed... yours is kind of occupied..." He glanced at the mess sitting on the bed and sighed a little.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:02 pm
Rasiel watched as Deskri explained things a little bit. Things really had changed, Deskri wasn't even living here anymore. He had his own house now, so then he could stay in the dorms now. Though, in his mind, he didn't want to. Everything there reminded him of Deskri, so why would he even want to stay there? It would hurt so much to do so. But where would he go. He felt so lost in his mind. "It's fine... I'm glad you've grown... I guess I have too... just-.." he hesitated, trying to collect his thoughts. "I don't have many things... so it should be a problem moving back in here.." he smiled, trying to make Deskri feel as though he wasn't hurt. "No worries.."
Rasiel set back down his bags, this time on Deskri's bed, then sat on it and sighed. "I'm pretty tired from the traveling... " he commented, changing the subject to try to distract himself.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:07 pm
"H-heh... you can't even tell... I just got girlier and my lips turned purple. I didn't even get an inch taller." Deskri forced a sort of hiccup of a laugh and shook his head a little. He was trying to make himself feel better, after all, Rasiel had accepted being friends and even seemed to be taking their break up well. "You got taller... I didn't notice 'til now..." He forced yet another twitchy smile to his face.
He paused for a moment, examining his last sentence. No worries? That did worry him quite a bit. Was his paranoia coming true? "W-where did you go.. by the way...?" He tilted his head a little, rubbing one arm absentmindedly. The cuts were probably starting to get infected... he hadn't given himself the time to lie down and heal like he usually did.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:34 pm
Playing along with the charade, he chuckled a little at Deskri's comment. "Yeah, I did get taller... it made Alice feel even more short." he retorted with a smile. After a moment, Deskri inquired about his whereabouts. Rasiel didn't think that Deskri would have cared why he disappeared, only that he had without warning again. "Well, you know... it's always mother dragging me off somewhere as she always demands I come with every time anything goes wrong. It's almost like she can't trust me. But in all truth, I think it was Alice that convinced mother to make me go with them." he sighed, breaking away from his ramblings. "Anyway, Lucian was sick..." he summed up in a matter-of-fact tone. "But he's better now." he added.
Rasiel looked around, trying to think of anything to say, anything to keep the conversation from becoming awkward. "Hey.. if you live in a house... then why were you in here?" he inquired of the other Meta, a little confused on the matter. He scratched his head idly as he stared amongst the broken objects.
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