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The Victoria Collins Break-Up Plan was of so many steps that Audrey couldn't keep them all entirely straight in her mind. One step was apparently dressing like a total hooker so that the guy was all hot and bothered for you, something that she couldn't at all do. However, the skinny jeans and heels from the Killingworth wedding were making an appearance, though that was beneath a rather unfortunate plum-colored sweater. After all, it was cold out. The spa and salon had been the other one, and this was where the bluenette had given in.

Audrey Collins was now a blonde.

So when the sunny-haired girl stood in front of the young man standing on her doorstep, it might have been a bit of a throwoff. Maybe not, she didn't look all that different. Audrey still had her keys out, ready to maim the person in her yard. "Are you lost? I can't let you in to use the phone, but you can borrow my cell to call someone and get directions." The tone wasn't precisely pleasant.

Boys were the last thing she wanted. Vicky said it was the one thing she needed. Ugh.

That had a slim, also freshly dyed eyebrow raising in an expression that was not at all easing up on the poor guy trying to do a good deed by sitting in her front yard for his bro. Alright, so he had no idea who she was in a dual sense of the word, Audrey wasn't really worried about Elzo taking on some sort of Italian Mob hit on her. Maybe Marlo might have, but that wasn't too much of a worry.

Two seconds and the boy'd be dead.

Instead, the bag on her shoulder was shifted. "Yep, that's me. Are you delivering something?" There wasn't a package, and her stance was defensive. Who was this dude?

A friend of a friend, hm? But not naming which one? That was interesting and more than enough to make up for the point she was irritated. Besides, it would placate Rosie if she were told that Audrey were talking to a boy. Elzo might even drive by, and then he might be jealous! Though why she wanted him jealous was a mystery. It wasn't like she was going to take him back! Ever!

Jerking a finger towards the porch and the swing, Audrey smiled a bit. "I have a swing that fits more than one person if you don't want to have to haul me behind you. I'm rather light, but that's a little...junior high, isn't it? Then maybe you can tell me which of my friends you know. There aren't that many that I'll probably even narrow it down before where we get where we're going." The grin sharpened and her wicked sense of humor emerged.

"Then I might steal your bike. Safer to hang here." For both of them!

Shoes were kicked off next to the front door as Audrey crossed her legs to sit across from the guy on her doorstep. "Fear my bad side, because this is my good one. Imagine what the bad one looks like! It's horrific!" Brushing fingers through her hair to look almost bemusedly at the color before talking again. "On the short list? You don't look like Jada or Fallon's type, and Pasha would never resist the chance to come over and see me. Vicky doesn't let boys out of her grip." Eyes looked him up and down, assessing what she could gather from the boy. "Zac doesn't talk to anyone. So you're probably here from one of my other Hillworth friends." There were not a whole lot of them these days, she hadn't really had a need to go there since Drew had gotten distant and Ursula was gone.

"Spill it. Which one?" The new adult propped a foot up on the swing and put her chin on her knee. It wasn't a very adult-like pose, but Audrey had never cared much about how she appeared. Especially not in front of a boy!

Eyes that had been warming up just a bit with having someone to talk to had gone hard and flat as the tundra, as well as cold as the ice that inhabited it. Of course she had generally arrived at that conclusion on her own, but was rather hoping he said he was a friend of Janice Fitzpatrick and wanted to regale her with stories of their copulating. That would have been preferable for having to hear about how Elzo 'wasn't taking it well'. A bare heel slapped against the porch as Audrey sat up straight and proud.

"What isn't he taking well, exactly? Not getting laid after all that investment? I told him he should call one of his giant breasted bimbos for a little bit of enjoyment, since he all but started the process in the middle of my birthday dinner. Did he tell you what he got me for my birthday? Oh he was gonna give me some nice c**k, isn't that wonderful?" It wasn't that he hasn't gotten her a real present, that wasn't the point. The point was that was his idea of a present!

"Like he didn't lie to me about the sexy girl texting him and asking if he was with me? Why did she need to know, she doesn't know me!" Arms were gesturing wildly now, her voice raising and becoming more and more intense as she crescendoed towards the finish. "Oh and by the way, maybe you didn't get that I saw him snuggling up to that bimbo Barbie waitress on Halloween. Her and her exposed fat a**! So yeah, he lied, he was a total douchebag, and I punched him when he wouldn't leave me alone. Sorry if that's a problem, but I'm not a notch on some hotshot's bedpost." The tragedy of it is that she was. She really was, and hated herself every moment of every day for it.

It was why she couldn't be with Elzo, even if it was all totally innocent. Audrey was convinced it wasn't.

Normally Audrey would have responded with a matching tirade and the pair probably would have ended up in a bloody fight in the middle of the Collins' front yard. Jason would have had to break it up, possibly call the cops, and then deal with the ferocious Amazon that his little girl had become over the past year. Sorrin was lucky that he had said the magic word, however. "Victoria? Victoria Collins?!" Her voice was incredulous, a bit ominous, and the look in her eyes was not at all pleased. "Blue hair, blue eyes, fantastic tits and a**?" Odds are if Sorrin saw a picture of Audrey, next to her was Vicky.

Holding out her hand again, fingers made a come-along gesture. "Lemme see that phone again. I want to see more than the two second flashes. I need to think." Lips pressed together as the phone was placed into her hand, the pictures accessed for flipping through. A bit more delving revealed that Elzo had indeed been sending non-stop text messages mourning and wondering what the hell had gone wrong. It pulled at Audrey's heart, and the anger melted away to a deep sadness that she'd been crazy and messed up something really good.

But the point still remained that Elzo was still probably better off without her. After all, hadn't she hopped into Castor's arms without even a thought for the boy who loved her more than anyone else? Wasn't Beryl ready to ice her? It was bad enough that she'd dragged her family into this mess, what would happen if they got back together, and she mysteriously vanished?

No, it was probably better that he forgot all about her.

Handing the phone back quietly, ice in her eyes melted and threatening to flood, the blonde spoke as smoothly as she could. "You can tell Elzo that I'm sorry I was wrong then. But I'm not going to get back together with him." And that was that.

No crying. It was the one rule that the bluenette had set for herself all those years ago in middle school, where everyone was trying to find where they fit. Tiny Audrey had found out very quickly that she didn't really fit in anywhere, and crying achieved nothing but making her look stupid on front of all those idiots. Lately she was more and more emotional, but even now she would be damned if this friend of Elzo's saw her crying over him. You had to be the empty Coke machine, it was something she'd heard somewhere. They were going to press your buttons, but you had to be empty.

The problem was, she was anything but empty. If she were empty, there wouldn't have been a Castor, an Elzo, a Khal. An anyone! There would just be her and Rosie, going it together through the ranks of pleasurable young men until they could go no longer.

"Listen, if you don't want to have to tell him, just send him my way. I appreciate what you're doing, you're obviously a really good friend." God, was she honestly being this nice? What had happened to the cranky young woman who wanted nothing to do with anyone? Probably Pasha. It was the only explanation. "I don't hate him anymore, shock and awe, so I'll talk to him if he comes by." Pausing, Audrey sat on her hands. "Tell him my parents are out on Thursday night, best he comes by then. Dad is uh. Not thrilled. I didn't tell him anything, but I'm his only daughter, his baby, blah blah." It was faintly embarrassing, really.

Looking up at the sky, and back at Sorrin, she tilted her head. "My folks are inside, do you want me to drive you back home? Least I can do, after all this." It hadn't been a really great thing to do, but it was a noble one. For a bro.