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My Fishies, That I Wishies!

Cloom

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Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 12:50 am

Pretty guppies,
Just like puppies,
Jumping salmon,
Up the river,
Never once missed,
Only once in a blue moon sliver,
In the bears mouth, as he hissed!

I caught a nice smelt,
Whom now I just have dealt,
Out to fish,
As I did wish.
For a big jumper,
Whom my knife will call Chum-per.
Jumping down the ocean, goes the crazy marlin,
That my boat was startlin'.

These are the fish I love and want,
And the fish my Dad and I always wished us to caught!

gonk

Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:57 pm

You're trying really hard to ryhme and it's not helping your flow.

You said that he never missed and then he once missed something. And your last line wasn't grammatically correct, but I know that in English sometimes you can get around that and ignore those grammar rules.

I like the story line though.

Kasi Karra
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ContrabassClarinetist
Crew

6,650 Points

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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 9:43 am

I liked it too

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