|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:33 am
It was wonderful here, living among the stories Tendaji used to tell her when she couldn’t sleep at night. It was like being home again, whatever that had been like. Set had noticed that Ten grew even more somber than usual when that particular topic was brought up. She wished she knew why, but didn’t wish to hurt him. And the memories of it did seem to hurt him. It hardly seemed fair, he had always been so good to them, he didn’t deserve to hurt. It was Ten who’d helped them when they were too small to help themselves, even though he himself had been small then too. And it was Ten who looked after them, protected them, made her feel so very safe. She loved him, loved Ten and Mak both. And it was hard on the boys sometimes, she could see how jealous they were of one another. But what could she do? There was no way Set could chose just one of them! She couldn’t bear the thought of losing either!
She just did what she could. She tried to keep them happy, tried to show them that she loved them both, loved them so very, very much! Makena seemed happy enough, but then he always seemed happy. And Ten…well. Ten always seemed serious. But he was the one she worried about today. Settling in to this new pride, with so many others and so many stories that even Ten might not have heard, it seemed like it was upsetting her dark mate. And so, while she hoped Mak knew that she didn’t love Ten more, just differently, she had made her way to go and spend a little extra time with her protective mate. Because maybe, just maybe, his heart needed some looking after this time.
“Hey Tenny,” she purred, bounding up beside him and rubbing happily against his flank in greeting.
It was strange.
It was so very strange.
Tendaji walked slowly, his head down as though watching for tracks or seeking a scent but, in reality, it was lowered because of the weight he currently felt. Being back in one place again, amidst so many people… it brought back memories. So many memories, how had he ever acquired this many in such a short time as he’d had? It should have been nice, for all the memories of his childhood, of the stability of a home, were fond ones. It was the knowledge that lurked on the edges of these memories that tainted them, stained them crimson with the empty pain of the night it all changed. He still did not know what had happened, he had been, perhaps, too young to understand at the time. And now…now all he knew was that having a home, having a den, no longer held that same security. Now it felt like a trap, leaving his loved ones more vulnerable than any evening spent under the wide expanse of stars…
He startled slightly when someone ran into him, but the surprise eased even before he’d realized it was there. “Hello Sethunya,” he replied, his tone calm but rather than cold there was a touch of softness in it. He was nothing like Makena, all happy smiles and gleeful affection. He had lost something of that when he’d been the caretaker before his paws stopped being too large for his body. But that did not mean he did not love this beautiful girl. Not by any misunderstandings. “How are you settling in?”
Set giggled, nuzzling her stoic mate happily as he spoke. To anyone else his words would have seemed cool and indifferent, but she could feel the steady warmth of affection in his low voice. It made her heart sing when he was with her, she could feel her anxieties being grounded and her fears chased off and held at bay. He loved her. Her brave protector who had chased the nightmares and boogymen of her puphood away faithfully every single night loved her. And she loved him…and Makena. It was just a happy love-fest of a family wasn’t it.
But Ten didn’t seem happy, not now. “It’s great!” she bubbled when he asked how she was settling in. “The keepers know so many stories about the gods and goddesses! A lot of them sound like the ones you used to tell, but there are even more of them now.”
“I see,” Tendaji nodded solemnly as Sethunya bubbled with her excitement. It was selfish of him, really, to feel so down when he had so much to turn to. When she was so happy to be here. He wished he could share in her joy, certainly Makena seemed to have caught it. But there was still that nagging sensation remaining, touching the edges of his every thought and making the fur of his hackles prickle with worry. He couldn’t lose them, either of them. They were everything his world had become, and even though he couldn’t help but envy the time Sethunya spent with Makena, the thought of anything happening to either of them made his heart beat painfully against his ribs.
“I am glad that you are happy here,” he told her softly, finally dipping his head to nuzzle her cheek briefly before turning his dark eyes back to the territory stretching out beyond them. She was happy here, yes, but hadn’t they been happy before? Hadn’t they been safe before?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:09 am
Was he unhappy? Had her fears been true? Set watched the way Ten’s eyes drifted off to the world that seemed to be so very endless as it stretched out before them. Did he want to travel still? Had she hurt him when she asked if they could stay? She hadn’t meant to hurt him, didn’t want to hurt either of them. But, oh, it was so hard to know how to make them both happy!
“I am happy, yes,” she said, her heart leaping with delight at the nuzzle he’d given her. Ten was so sparse, so cautious in his gestures of affection. It made each touch, each sweet word, so much more precious because of this. “But what about you? You’ve been quiet lately. Well,” Set amended, “More quiet than usual.”
Tendaji hesitated as she spoke. Was he happy? He was worried, that was what it was. He didn’t want to lose her, or Makena, didn’t want to see either of them be hurt. And he had his reservations about growing close to anyone else in this pride. He would hunt for them, he would perform the tasks he had agreed to as an adult member of the pride and provide for the shrine keepers. But happy?
“I am happy that you are happy,” he said finally, pulling his eyes away from the great expanse before him to look at the slender white female beside him. His mind raced wildly for an instant, the idea of asking her to come away with him and travel once more beneath the watchful eyes of the gods tempting his tongue. But she wouldn’t. Sethunya would never leave Makena, and Tendaji was ashamed for even allowing the thought to skitter through his mind.
Set frowned at his answer. That was hard to argue with, especially with the way his words had made her prickle with delight. They sounded like more of the rare signs of affection Ten would sometimes share with her in the quite of just their company. But they also sounded like a dodge of the question.
“But I’m not happy if you’re unhappy,” she protested. “If something’s wrong and you don’t tell me than I’ll just worry and worry and imagine that it’s worse than it is,” Set threatened, though she was hardly threatening him. She was just threatening to worry about him, which seemed kind of silly really but it might actually get through to him. Ten was always the one who was more concerned with looking after her and Mak than himself.
At those words, Tendaji stared at Sethunya for a long minute. How could he argue with that? What could he possibly say? And how could he say nothing, knowing that she was worried for him? “You don’t need to worry about me, Sethunya,” Tendaji heard himself saying, “I can look after myself.” But he paused there, uncertain, hesitant. Should he tell her? It was such a trivial thing after all, it would be cruel of him to keep it secret and leave it to fester in her mind.
“It’s just…” The dog paused again, his eyes wandering to the territories from which he’d just come. From the pride and their new den. “The last time I slept in a den was…” he trailed off, looking away from her, his dark eyes rising to the sky. He could not see the stars for all the sunshine, but he knew they were there. Like the distant twinkling of eyes to watch over them…
“Oh.” It was all Set could say, and she felt rather foolish for it. Of course. She and Mak could not remember being in one place like this, having a home like this. For them, it felt wonderful. It felt stable. It felt like a place where they could have a family, and she was certain that they were going to have a huge one. After all, there were already two daddys…or a daddy and a father. Ten was too…something or other, calling him a ‘daddy’ just didn’t seem to fit. Just as thinking of Mak as a ‘father’ felt odd.
“Oh Tenny,” she sighed, nuzzling softly against his dark stripy fur. For all the muscle and power and strength she could feel in the body beside hers, his heart was so full of hurting. And there was nothing he could do to protect that. But maybe she could. “It’ll be okay love, we are among friends here. And the gods from your stories are here too. This is their place, can’t you feel it?”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:28 am
Tendaji was quiet for a long time, his eyes that had lifted to seek out the hidden stars glazing over as he bowed his head. What was it about this girl, this sweet, beautiful, wonderful girl? She could reach so deeply inside of him and touch the weakest, softest, most vulnerable places he struggled so hard to hide. And where she touched them, they were calmed. They were safe, with her. It was…it was something he just couldn’t explain. Couldn’t even understand. But he needed her. He needed her to keep his heart safe… He would do anything, anything at all, to keep her safe in return.
“Yes,” he said finally, his voice barely a whisper. “Yes, you are right of course. I know it to be true…but I still worry.” With a quick shake of his head, as though the motion could actually shift the thoughts about, he blinked and looked down at her again. “You do not need to worry for me, Sethunya. I will be alright. So long as you are with me, I am well.”
Set hoped, she dearly, dearly hoped, that his words were true. She hoped that he wasn’t trying to hide his hurting where she couldn’t see it, hoped he wasn’t trying to distract her from knowing there was something wrong. She hoped, because she was distracted. His soft words, his casual implications, his gentle and reserved affection… it was distracting. It was delightfully distracting.
Her tail wagged as she nuzzled against him again, if she’d been born a feline rather than a dog Set was certain she’d have been purring. All these emotions whirled inside her and she wanted nothing more than to sing or laugh or, as cats did, purr. “I’m here Tenny, I promise. I’ll never leave you or Mak, never.”
“I know Sethunya,” Tendaji murmured softly, willing the storm that had been plaguing him to calm as she lavished him with her love. Perhaps it wasn’t quite what most would call ‘lavish’, but to him it was a storm of emotion that could counter the whirl in his mind. “Thank you.” Even the reminder that he was forever doomed to share her was not enough to taint the warmth that came from her promises of forever.
“I was just about to hunt for the pride,” he said abruptly, his body shifting slightly away from her affectionate nuzzles. He had never been particularly comfortable with emotional displays after all…
Set sighed when she felt him pull back. Ten was himself, as always. She loved him for the big strong protecter he was, but sometimes she wished he would let himself be vulnerable more often. Maybe that was mean of her, since he was usually only vulnerable when he was hurting. But it was nice to be able to offer him something sometimes.
“I’ll come with you,” she said, allowing him to move away but never letting her eyes leave him. “We’ll do better together.” Mak would understand, she was sure. He’d seen Tendaji worry before after all, he knew how vulnerable he could be. It wasn’t like she didn’t spend time one on one with him too after all.
Tendaji felt his spirits lift at her words until a rare smile flickered across his stern features. Just the two of them. It was a rare occurrence for the trio, though not utterly unheard of. He loved time to have her all to himself, to pretend that she was his and his alone.
“I would enjoy that,” he murmered, offering the smile to her briefly before turning his attention to the task at hand. As a trio, they were almost unmatched in skill, but as a duo…as a duo things would be different. It didn’t matter if this trip took a bit longer, every second he spent with Sethunya was special. Precious. Loved.
Set’s smile grew at the sight of his. At last! The worry that he might be unhappy eased from her mind at the expression on his face. A smile, for Tenny at least, was something he had never faked. She wasn’t even sure he could. “Then let’s get started!” she laughed, before quieting herself hastily. It wouldn’t do to spoil their hunting trip by being too loud. The pride depended upon them after all. She wouldn’t want to let them down. She didn’t want to let anyone down.
Especially her mates.
FIN
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
