Vatican sighed heavily the caves around his had been so noisy lately. Constant chatter during the day was interupting his sleep and making hime even more grouchy then normal. But for the momement he was happy, he was out away from the caves heading off to meet his lady love.
Lailah had been standing at their usual meeting place. She let her eyes look up at the moon and she smiled. A gentle breeze came, pulling at her hair, and wings. Turning her head to look back she saw Vatican coming into view." Good evening my love."
" Hello love" A soft smile spread across the stallion's lips as he followed his lovers gaze to where it had been moments before. The moon was almost full tonight and was giving off a warm glow to the dark lands around him. Moving to his mate he nuzzled her gently. " what shall we do tonight?"
She cooed softly, returning his nuzzle and she leaned against his neck. "I was kind of hoping, maybe we could talk about life before met, and before we came to live in these lands..." She knew it was a rough subject to bring up. But if she was going to spend her life with this stallion, she needed to know more about him, because so much was still a mystery
" I..." The stallion nodded softly, a soft sigh escaping from him. His mate deserved to know. After a recent fight some memories had made their way from the fog of his past and he was starting to recall thing from the time ...before." Alright my little goddess if that is what you wish... We can.....try?"
She looked up at him. A lot of her friends found them to be a power couple. But she would hardly call them that. They just had this unconditional feeling for each other. She laid her ears back and she gave him a nuzzle. They had a fight, and of course they worked things out, but it was their first fight, and thats what shook Lailah's heart.
" I remember ....things" How exactly did one go about exposing such things? Lailah was a good and loving mate. But their first had been awkward. He was never a very open being and the fight had only seemed to proven it. He sighed again they'd fought over his fight with Hina'ea. The dumb beast, Vatican wished he could steep all the blame on the over egotistical stallion's head. But in the end he knew it was his fault because he could not open up.
She let her worried eyes rest on his face. Nestled into his side. She wanted him to understand that no matter what she'd be there. But she needed to be involved sometimes. And something like Vatican's past, shaped him now, for who he is. She felt like he was her prince, but what if in the end... She wasn't his princess.
" I wish I could tell you some heroic past. Something valliant and couragous. Something...anything to make me worthy of you my little goddess. But It would all be lies. I don't know where to start really.... Ach meine Liebe. Ich möchte nicht, um Sie über die Übel der Vergangenheit habe ich nicht in vollem Umfang auch jetzt wieder zu verlieren. Und es gibt so viel Böses ...."
"Aber dies war ein Teil Ihres Lebens, meine Liebe. Und ich fühle, dass es etwas, das Sie mit mir teilen sollte, weil es mir bestätigen würden Ihnen näher ist. Der, den ich liebe. Du weißt, dass ich dich annehmen so wie du bist." She nuzzled his neck lightly, her wings folding into her side.
" .... I do not recall all of my life... I do not know that I ever will or will ever want too. I was death in my land.... I was war and destruction along with the two leggers."
She tilted her head at him listening carefully. Of course not fully understanding everything that he was saying.
The stallion looked down at his mate and smiled sadly for a moment. " I was far from heroic Lailah. So far from it. I was.... a war stallion? .... yes I guess that would be the closest translation. I along with a group of other stallions and two leggers rained destruction and chaos down on others in order to conquer them..... It wass all about winning at any means. Death of others, blood constantly shed..."
"But did you choose to be a war horse? Or were you just given that role?" She blinked over at him. He seemed so sad, but now she could share that sadness so he wouldn't be so alone.
" I chose it. I willing went to destroy others"
She was slightly surprised to hear that, but she knew that it was always a possibility. She looked down and pushed her hoof into the ground. "But you changed. And you know it was wrong."
" Part of me still likes that Lailah... the destruction the chasing and frightening others... all that evil"
Now that was something she didn't think she'd hear. She couldn't blame him... But at the same time she didn't want to accept that. They didn't spend every waking moment together. So she had to wonder now what he did with his time. She watched the ground thinking. The wars in her land, are what scared her away, the flightless mutant lost the herd she was with, and never learned to fly. But that wasn't Vaticans fault. What if they had met back then, would they have ever come down this path?
" I will not blame you for...hating my pass. But now I know what id did was wrong. And while part of me still craves it. I fight that part. I will not shed blood ever again with out meaning..."
She rested her head on his back, and she stayed silent. They were always the elegant couple. And for her it was just natural. She wanted him to enjoy his life... For he would probably outlive her anyways. "I know dear... I just never thought about it. That's all."
" I wish I did not recall these things..." He turned his head slightly to look back at his mate. Such memories tormented him. He knew they probably part of the reason he could not rest fully recently but he did not know hoe ti talk about them. "... I fear them"
"I think that you'll be fine. Because you fight against them and fear them. That you won't have an issue not giving into them..." Least thats what she wanted to think. But it could be alot harder then she's imagining.
Vatican nodded slightly. " I have more to live for now then just the fighting"
She smiled over at him, and nuzzles into his neck. Maybe love was enough. But she would now be more aware of him, and the things he was going through
"What of your past... I feel the need to take my mind of such morid things." Yes it wasn't the best way to distract them both but he did at this point need something anything to get his mind off his own past.
"Well I lived with a herd, and when war struck the lands... the stallions went to fight, and magic users did what they could but in the end.. most of them were killed, and I was left on my own... I fleed the land, and came here. The fighting, I wouldn't have surived.." She looked up at him.
The stallion flinched ever so slightly, he would not could not bring him self to tell the mare he had seen similiar stories before, had been the cause of similiar stories before. Bah this whole remember your past thing seemed so moronic to him now. Before he had craved to know who and what he had been. Now he just wished he could throw it away and make his mate happy.
"I miss my herd and family. But I guess, if none of that happened, I never would have found you, right? I guess this is my silver lining." She smiled up at him.
" Must say the same thing my love, with out my past and what I have become I would not have you. I would do such wickedness again if only to have you. You make my dark nights bright and my cold hear warm.
Lailah blushed at Vatican's words. She would endure those scary nights if all just to meet him again too. "And I would go through it all again just to be here with you."
Smiling the stallion turned and kisses the mare gently. " Lets us find something to talk our minds off such morbid things. We are alive and together we should be doing something...happy"
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