Life was falling apart.
It really was just crashing down around Jozo, although he would be the first to admit that he was being a bit too dramatic about the entire situation. In getting Gerda pregnant, he'd hurt the only one that really mattered to him. His beloved Eppie was paying dearly for his stupid mistakes, and it wasn't right of him to keep coming back to her. She deserved so much more than he was capable of giving to her; she deserved him to be there for her each night. Eppie slept alone while he was awake each night next to Gerda dreaming of Eppie. This was wrong, it was so wrong, and even though Jozo knew how wrong it was, he couldn't make it right. He couldn't live without Eppie in his life. If faced with the ultimatum of leaving Gerda for Eppie, he would be torn between duty and love. Jozo hoped it wouldn't come to that, though. He didn't think Eppie would make him choose; the lioness he loved knew how much his pride meant to him.
"Why do you look so down?"
The little voice brought Jozo out of his deep thoughts. Looking around he didn't spot anything. Where had it come from? A small laugh drew his eyes up. Overhead, a small bird soared, wings stretched with such great freedom. The bird spoke to him? This was a first. He'd heard of such things, but had never experienced it. It seemed a bit surreal, almost. Moving into a seated position, Jozo cleared his throat before speaking to the bird. It would be nice to tell someone about his problems, someone who wasn't involved.
"Love."
The dark bird laughed before coming to a landing a brief distance from him. She was a pretty thing, dark with blue iridescent feathers. "Love is a fickle thing," she chirped, ruffling her feathers. "I'm Nila. Tis a pleasure to meet you, lion." Her voice was kind, her eyes inquisitive. She was polite enough, and Jozo smiled a bit at the feathery little creature.
"I am Jozo," he introduced himself. "Warrior of the Kitwana'antana pride. Have you heard of it?"
"I have not," Nila trilled softly, clacking her beak as she spoke. "I do not have a place I call home. I much prefer to fly about unhindered by such things." Nila rustled her feathers and idly began to groom individual plumes. "Do you have cubs? A family?"
Jozo nodded. "I have a mate. She's pregnant with cubs. Our cubs." Jozo didn't like saying that. He didn't like admitting that he'd fathered Gerda's cubs. It put a bitter taste in his mouth, one he didn't like, and one he wished would go away. But it would never go away, not until he could be with Eppie. Such was the life he'd carved for himself.
"That's exciting," Nila bubbled, flapping her wings as if to stretch them out comfortably. "I have no chicks, nor do I have a mate to call my own. I guess I'm a bit too free-spirited for such things. One day I'll settle down and find a home of my own. It will have to be something very special, though. Something that gives me a purpose in life." Nila laughed self-consciously at her words. "I suppose that sort of thing is rather important to me. I hate to feel useless."
"I know exactly how you feel," Jozo admitted. "I take my own duties seriously. My pride is full of plagued lions. I am one of the so-called lucky ones, one of the few lions in the pride that has no sign of illness." His voice carried no happiness at the prospect. He knew what it meant to be immune; watching those he loved with the sickness die around him. This was nothing to celebrate.
"That is a bit tragic, hmm?" Nila dipped her head, blue eyes watching the caramel-colored lion with interest. These dynamics within a pride were fascinating, something that Nila had always loved to watch from afar. Being such a nondescript bird, it was easy for her to perch in a nearby tree and listen to conversations, or watch things play out within a pride. "You must be a strong lion to be able to endure such sadness in your day-to-day life."
"I suppose. There are times I do not feel so strong, though. There are times when all I want to do is curl up and be alone with myself and my thoughts. I don't know how to cope some days." Jozo sighed, his dark gaze pinned to a point on the horizon. Staring at nothing in particular, he continued speaking. "I am torn between duty and love. On one side I have obligations to fix my mistakes. On the other side, I have to watch the love of my life feel sadness that I alone have brought into her life." He scowled softly, the self-contempt he felt for himself evident on his face. "Two females have me stretched so thin between them that I fear I might rip in half."
"Ahhh, a love triangle," Nila trilled. She shook her head, a soft 'tsk'-ing sound rising from her beak. "It sounds as if you're in a rather sticky situation, hmm?" She went back to grooming her feathers. She loved this; encountering random strangers, hearing about their lives. They always seemed to want to talk to her about problems. Probably because they knew she was a fleeting moment in their lives, nothing permanent, and so it was easy for them to talk to her. Nila didn't mind. She lived to hear the stories others had to provide, the problems they endured in their lives, the obstacles they overcame.
"I am. Now I've got Gerda, my mate, pregnant. I did so in order to be able to spend time with the one I love, Eppie. Eppie is upset now that Gerda is flaunting her pregnacy to Eppie, and I know Eppie should be the one birthing my cubs. It's a rather nasty situation, one I've brought myself into. If only I were more carefree."
Nila shook her head. "Would you rather be carefree, or the duty-bound lion that both of these females seem to have fallen in love with?"
Jozo took that into consideration. "You're right." He peered towards the direction of his pride before glancing back at Nila. "Please excuse me. I must be off, Nila. It was a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for listening to my problems, no matter how miniscule they must seem."
Nila grinned, flapping her wings and effortlessly lifting off. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Jozo. Keep your head level and your heart strong. The Gods will see you through."
(word count: 1,123)
