|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 11:30 am
Hello all, for once I am turning to this guild rather then stalking the topics... I have had issues letting anything in me, even myself let alone a man. I have currently been looking around for answers to why I feel SO much pain even though I have plenty of lubrication and am relaxed. As soon as the pressure of something is put on me though I tighten up. My current boyfriend has been helping me figure out what is up with my reaction and we found out about Vaginismus. Here is a website if you arnt too sure what it is... http://www.vaginismus.com/You see, I have never been abused sexually but have been abused in other ways mainly from my past boyfriend *who I finally got away from bout 4 months ago* and some "friends", I have been taught for many years sex hurts and isnt right, as well as fear of being hurt and lack of trust. I have tried so hard to relax but the muscles spaz on their own....making it hard for my boyfriend to even get inside me....I dont take pain well at all and I react in a way that I cant countroll. I am not sure how to deal with this or how I can treat it. I know the website has a "kit" but I would rather not have something laying around my house for my parents and sister to see. I have had issues touching my self since I was 15 and can just get off by rubbing my c**t which is what I have been doing for the past 6 years. I am 20 now and have finally found someone I trust with my body but my body doesnt seem to trust him. Please if you have any ideas on how to "relax" my lower muscles it would be greatly loved.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 12:01 pm
I don't mean to sound cliche, but have you tried looking into professional counselling/therapy? If it's a psychological problem, it might work to have a mental health problem talk to you about the abuse you went through with your ex.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 5:13 pm
emo That is what my boyfriend has been talking to me about doing....way before we figured this out he talked to me about going to see someone who he thought would help me out.
He invited me to one of his sessions to see what it is like.... But I really dont feel right going to someone....and I no longer have health inssurance and my money is limited....I really dont want my parents to know so I cant ask them.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 4:16 pm
Toboekyo emo That is what my boyfriend has been talking to me about doing....way before we figured this out he talked to me about going to see someone who he thought would help me out. He invited me to one of his sessions to see what it is like.... But I really dont feel right going to someone....and I no longer have health inssurance and my money is limited....I really dont want my parents to know so I cant ask them. That's understandable, I wouldn't want my parents to know either. talk2hand Are you in school right now, and if so, what about seeing a counsellor/therapist on campus or in school?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 10:05 pm
Thats the thing, I had to drop out of college b/c of money and b/c I am no longer a full time student I lost my Health insurance....my boyfriend told me tonight that he asked his therapist of some people who could help me....she gave him three names and also said I could go to a college and seek help from the students in that field....she said that they need so many hours of sessions to pass and everything it free or cheap as well as privet......so Idk....I may talk to my bf about it more and see if he can do a session with me. Ive never done anything like this and he thinks it would be best for me since he brought it up way before sex was an issue. So idk....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:06 am
Toboekyo Thats the thing, I had to drop out of college b/c of money and b/c I am no longer a full time student I lost my Health insurance....my boyfriend told me tonight that he asked his therapist of some people who could help me....she gave him three names and also said I could go to a college and seek help from the students in that field....she said that they need so many hours of sessions to pass and everything it free or cheap as well as privet......so Idk....I may talk to my bf about it more and see if he can do a session with me. Ive never done anything like this and he thinks it would be best for me since he brought it up way before sex was an issue. So idk.... Well that was helpful of her. smile You could try doing a session with your boyfriend, but it might be better to have a third person who's not involved in the situation do the counselling. Or, what if you attended sessions with one of the students, and had your boyfriend in the room with you for support? In the end it's up to you of course. Even if you don't want to take the step of actually going through with the counselling, you could always go on campus and meeting some of the student counsellors beforehand, no? Get comfortable with the idea of student counselling and become familiar with some of the student counsellors, in case you decide to do the counselling after all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 12:46 pm
Im not sure if the acctual "student" counseling is open to non students. The pre grads are open to everyone since they need the hours to graduate but im not sure if the school its self is open to everyone since the program I was told about is with the student but the school doesnt recieve my records....so im not sure I may just dig around a bit.
Thank you for your support and help! <3 It is much loved and means alot to me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 1:30 pm
Toboekyo Im not sure if the acctual "student" counseling is open to non students. The pre grads are open to everyone since they need the hours to graduate but im not sure if the school its self is open to everyone since the program I was told about is with the student but the school doesnt recieve my records....so im not sure I may just dig around a bit. Thank you for your support and help! <3 It is much loved and means alot to me. Ahhh ok, I understand now. 3nodding Well as you said, it's something to look into just in case. And you're welcome! heart That's what we're here for.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:39 pm
My boyfriend and I are going to make an appointment to see the gynecologist. We want to rule out a few things and see if it is a chemical/physical issue or if it is all mental. But he still thinks I should see someone for my non sexual related issues.
we are thinking it may be hpv (which I dont think it is) or to see if I have a low count in hormones(I for get the name of it but it starts with a G). Since I dont have a regular period and am prone to yeast infections we want to make sure that I am not inflamed, or have unbalanced chemicals. He is thinking it is either low hormones(which would help explain the messed up minstrel cycle as well as my depression, which I have never been treated for either.) or vaginismus.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 12:23 am
Toboekyo My boyfriend and I are going to make an appointment to see the gynecologist. We want to rule out a few things and see if it is a chemical/physical issue or if it is all mental. But he still thinks I should see someone for my non sexual related issues. we are thinking it may be hpv (which I dont think it is) or to see if I have a low count in hormones(I for get the name of it but it starts with a G). Since I dont have a regular period and am prone to yeast infections we want to make sure that I am not inflamed, or have unbalanced chemicals. He is thinking it is either low hormones(which would help explain the messed up minstrel cycle as well as my depression, which I have never been treated for either.) or vaginismus. That's great! Please keep us posted (if you're ok with it). 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 9:23 am
Nikolita Toboekyo My boyfriend and I are going to make an appointment to see the gynecologist. We want to rule out a few things and see if it is a chemical/physical issue or if it is all mental. But he still thinks I should see someone for my non sexual related issues. we are thinking it may be hpv (which I dont think it is) or to see if I have a low count in hormones(I for get the name of it but it starts with a G). Since I dont have a regular period and am prone to yeast infections we want to make sure that I am not inflamed, or have unbalanced chemicals. He is thinking it is either low hormones(which would help explain the messed up minstrel cycle as well as my depression, which I have never been treated for either.) or vaginismus. That's great! Please keep us posted (if you're ok with it). 3nodding I will, I think everything that is going on with me right now may be helpful for someone else who may go through the same thing. You have been a great support beam for me. Thank you~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 8:45 pm
Toboekyo Nikolita Toboekyo My boyfriend and I are going to make an appointment to see the gynecologist. We want to rule out a few things and see if it is a chemical/physical issue or if it is all mental. But he still thinks I should see someone for my non sexual related issues. we are thinking it may be hpv (which I dont think it is) or to see if I have a low count in hormones(I for get the name of it but it starts with a G). Since I dont have a regular period and am prone to yeast infections we want to make sure that I am not inflamed, or have unbalanced chemicals. He is thinking it is either low hormones(which would help explain the messed up minstrel cycle as well as my depression, which I have never been treated for either.) or vaginismus. That's great! Please keep us posted (if you're ok with it). 3nodding I will, I think everything that is going on with me right now may be helpful for someone else who may go through the same thing. You have been a great support beam for me. Thank you~ You're welcome. heart *hug*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:30 am
UPDATE:
So after I took a few pills to get a small yeast infection, and after getting closer to my boyfriend, I became alot more comfy in his bed, and with myself around him. For the first time he was able to go into me and we both got shocked!! He didnt even hurt he just kinda landed in and looked down at me like O.O "Wow Im in" I laughed as he put on his condom and we tested it with the condom on and sure enough he got back in.
So that was a fey days I left for NY.....which I notice I got loos when he said "Im going to miss you" and that was the point he just kinda fell in lol
The next time was the night before I left and it happend the same way when he said "Do you have to leave?" I melted and he got in.
once I got back from NY *two days ago* I was sick and on my period but he didnt care, I decided I would take my pants off if he put something under me, it was my last day of my cycle so I wasnt flowing much but I wanted to be safe, But I was so nervous and it hurt since I felt odd having sex while I was bleeding. But he was kissing me and telling me he didnt care that I was on my cycle, so he tried and was trying to calm me, he was able to slip in a bit and once he said "I missed you" I loosend up and he was in....
I dont know if hes noticed this or not but I told him last night that I ment when he talks like that and he laughed so hard.
But yes thank you for all the help! I am still in shock that I am now active but he is so thankful that my 1st time was with some one as sweet and as experienced as him. I told my best friend while I was in NY with her. She said as long as I was ready and okay with it shes happy and okay with it as well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 1:44 pm
Toboekyo UPDATE: So after I took a few pills to get a small yeast infection, and after getting closer to my boyfriend, I became alot more comfy in his bed, and with myself around him. For the first time he was able to go into me and we both got shocked!! He didnt even hurt he just kinda landed in and looked down at me like O.O "Wow Im in" I laughed as he put on his condom and we tested it with the condom on and sure enough he got back in. So that was a fey days I left for NY.....which I notice I got loos when he said "Im going to miss you" and that was the point he just kinda fell in lol The next time was the night before I left and it happend the same way when he said "Do you have to leave?" I melted and he got in. once I got back from NY *two days ago* I was sick and on my period but he didnt care, I decided I would take my pants off if he put something under me, it was my last day of my cycle so I wasnt flowing much but I wanted to be safe, But I was so nervous and it hurt since I felt odd having sex while I was bleeding. But he was kissing me and telling me he didnt care that I was on my cycle, so he tried and was trying to calm me, he was able to slip in a bit and once he said "I missed you" I loosend up and he was in.... I dont know if hes noticed this or not but I told him last night that I ment when he talks like that and he laughed so hard. But yes thank you for all the help! I am still in shock that I am now active but he is so thankful that my 1st time was with some one as sweet and as experienced as him. I told my best friend while I was in NY with her. She said as long as I was ready and okay with it shes happy and okay with it as well. Yaaaaay congratulations! mrgreen mrgreen That's wonderful news! I had never had "menstrual-sex" until my current boyfriend either, but I don't mind it. We use condoms of course, and sometimes we'll put something under me so there's no mess, and it's all good. wink
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 9:23 pm
Nikolita Toboekyo UPDATE: So after I took a few pills to get a small yeast infection, and after getting closer to my boyfriend, I became alot more comfy in his bed, and with myself around him. For the first time he was able to go into me and we both got shocked!! He didnt even hurt he just kinda landed in and looked down at me like O.O "Wow Im in" I laughed as he put on his condom and we tested it with the condom on and sure enough he got back in. So that was a fey days I left for NY.....which I notice I got loos when he said "Im going to miss you" and that was the point he just kinda fell in lol The next time was the night before I left and it happend the same way when he said "Do you have to leave?" I melted and he got in. once I got back from NY *two days ago* I was sick and on my period but he didnt care, I decided I would take my pants off if he put something under me, it was my last day of my cycle so I wasnt flowing much but I wanted to be safe, But I was so nervous and it hurt since I felt odd having sex while I was bleeding. But he was kissing me and telling me he didnt care that I was on my cycle, so he tried and was trying to calm me, he was able to slip in a bit and once he said "I missed you" I loosend up and he was in.... I dont know if hes noticed this or not but I told him last night that I ment when he talks like that and he laughed so hard. But yes thank you for all the help! I am still in shock that I am now active but he is so thankful that my 1st time was with some one as sweet and as experienced as him. I told my best friend while I was in NY with her. She said as long as I was ready and okay with it shes happy and okay with it as well. Yaaaaay congratulations! mrgreen mrgreen That's wonderful news! I had never had "menstrual-sex" until my current boyfriend either, but I don't mind it. We use condoms of course, and sometimes we'll put something under me so there's no mess, and it's all good. wink Thank you! Yea I mean I am okay with it if I am just starting or ending but.....Im not going to lie I dont like it too much just for the fact I am kind of anti mess lol I mean so is he so when he said he didnt care I was like OxO lol and when I saw the condom in with all the blood on it I felt a lil sickend. Even though I wanted him to go again and he offered to put a new one on I refused and he was pretty bumed by that. But Im just not used to it. I mean It was only the 3rd time so I just have to get used to it. >w<
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
