Alright, I'll make one, or try. Kinda. I'm gonna write alot.

PROTIP: READ THE WHOLE THING


Setting/Plot/Bare Necessities:

Some time in the future (how long precisely isn't known, but said to be in the 23rd century) Spider Jerusalem, retired writer and bearded hermit, lives an isolated existence in a fortified mountain hideaway, retired from City life for the last five years. Following a call from his irate publisher demanding the last two books per his publishing deal, Jerusalem packs his belongings and descends the mountains before traveling back into The City, a twisted amalgam of pervasive consumerism, sex, violence, and drugs. While never named, the City retains several distinguishing monuments (one resembling the Statue of Liberty) and neighborhoods (the West Egg neighborhood) which imply that it was originally New York but there's no guarantee. The City has grown to become the largest city in the world and the center of the political and social culture. However, this futuristic culture is highly liberal, self-centered, and focused almost exclusively on present-day matters. "Revivals" from cryogenic stasis are largely ignored and left to fend for themselves on the streets. Cultural "Reservations" are established for the sole purpose of preserving past civilizations. No one even knows the current calendar year, so everyone always refers to events in time relative to the present day. The City's numerous 'culture reservations' have traditional cultures - including those of China and Japan - and can be experienced and lived in permanently, even including a holographic pre-industrial reservation. The Angels 8 district of the City is also home to a group known as 'transients', humans who have used genome-altering technology to permanently take on alien characteristics. Other technology includes Makers, which are devices akin to the replicators from Star Trek.


Character I'm Playing

Spider Jerusalem

Full Name: Spider Django Heraclitus Jerusalem

Abilities: Skilled fighter and writer. Armed with many forms of lethal and non-lethal weaponry. War-hardened journalist knowledgeable in many information-gathering techniques

Background: Spider is a renegade gonzo journalist forced to return to The City after having exhausted a substantial advance from a publisher without completing the books required by contract. After five years of effective retirement as a long-haired hermit in a compound in the mountains, he returns to The City to complete the books, takes up work for an urban newspaper to support his writing, and finds himself battling political corruption at the highest level. One of Spider's most apparent character traits is his heavy drug use, which he makes no attempt to conceal. In addition to being a chain smoker and heavy drinker, Spider uses an extensive and bewildering variety of drugs ranging from mild stimulants, intellect enhancers, and mood-altering drugs to cocaine, heroin and rare, exotic, futuristic drugs. As is common in his society, Spider is resistant or immune to many forms of drug addiction, as well as lung cancer. Spider is well known for his foul language, especially when combining the word "********" with other words to make new and amusing insults. Spider is easily angered, his displays of temper ranging from mild verbal outbursts to violent physical assault. However, despite his temper and contempt for the City as a whole, Spider is often seen to treat innocents (particularly children) with extreme kindness and care.

Philosophy: Spider is a firm believer in The Truth and delivering the Truth to his readers in the most direct and blunt manner possible. (He often capitalizes it as "The Truth" in his writing.) This is made most notable in one story, when Spider's recounts the tale of how he submitted an article on the election of the current president whom he dubbed "The Beast", which consisted of the word "********" repeated eight thousand times.

The primary focus of conflict within Spider's psyche, is a combination of concern for his delivery of 'The Truth' and misanthropy towards his public. Spider hates and struggles against authority figures who oppress others, but he is also bitter toward the uninvolved public who give the authority its power. Likewise, he struggles to convince the public to listen to The Truth, but is disgusted by those who blindly accept what he reports. In addition, Spider's talents earn him unwanted fame and adoration, which clouds his ability to "get at The Truth." Spider needs to be hated in order to function.

Despite his absolute disdain for those around him, Spider is quite loyal to those few who he considers friends and is equally quick to hurt those who would betray him.

Spider is not loyal to any political party or organization, and his initial support of most politicians during elections is tinged with contempt at their cynical attitudes and false altruism. He is also an avowed, often virulent atheist who opposes all organized religion, which he sees as little more than unworthy authority figures that exploit their members. It is therefore interestingly ironic when, in one instance, Spider travels to a religious convention and begins upending tables and destroying booths while wearing an improvised robe, a reference to Jesus throwing the money lenders out of the Temple.

Weapons: He proudly claims to be "always armed", and is shown with several hidden firearms, at least one of which is powerful enough to blow up a vehicle, another of which was titled "The Upper Hand." He has also possessed a rocket launcher, which he used to blow up a bar at the base of his mountain home. He was accidentally given a bandolier of grenades at a party, to which he responded "There is a God".

Spider's weapon of choice for most of the series is duel wielding handheld "bowel disruptor," which cause instant and painful loss of bowel control, with various settings that allow him to vary the level of pain and discomfort the device will inflict, ranging from simple diarrhea to complete rectal prolapse. At a much harsher level, the victim has a bowel movement so dramatic and agonizing that it induces unconsciousness. The gun can be set to 'Fatal Intestinal Maelstrom', however, Spider prefers this weapon because, despite being illegal, it is (usually) non-lethal and its effects are untraceable.

He also carries numerous amounts of lethal firearms, though according to Spider, he only carries such weapons for emergency cases. He's a competent gunfighter, having learned his skills in "places you never want to go."

Regardless of whether or not he is armed, Spider is shown to be a very capable, though not invincible, fighter. He frequently lashes out violently at those who threaten or aggravate him, and often defeats opponents who are well-trained or much more imposing physically. He is also not averse to brutalizing people in order to get crucial information, and he often uses improvised weapons to gain the upper hand - for example, putting his cigarette out in the eye of a guard.

Appearance: Initially, Spider is shown with a huge amount of muddy brown, shaggy hair and a long unkempt beard, claiming he has hair in places that people don't even know they own. On his return to the City, nearly all his hair is removed by a malfunctioning cleaning unit in his first apartment's bathroom. From this moment on he is portrayed as virtually hairless, the exception being his eyebrows and a small amount of pubic hair. Spider is a small, slight figure with a long nose and slightly crooked teeth. His body is covered with black tattoos, combining geometric tribal designs and other more Western images (his right a** cheek is marked "kiss here"), including a small spider on his upper forehead. He is also claims to have a tattoo on his p***s.

Although he prefers not to wear clothes much of the time, when in public his primary mode of dress is typically a "black linen suit, urban weight, generous cut" (jacket and pants, no shirt under the jacket) with a pair of heavy black leather boots, although during the winter he is sometimes seen wearing a black jumper under his jacket; also, on the rare occasions when modesty is required of him he will wear knee-length boxer shorts. He also wears a pair of 'live-shades', sunglasses with built-in still-photography and computer capabilities; the right lens is green and rectangular, whilst the left one is red and circular (the AI Maker that created them was on drugs at the time, and thought it would be funny).


Rules:

None except make sure your character fits the storyline well enough and can deal with Spider.

Also all the bullshit Gaia TOS rules that come with it and s**t. You know the drill.