Welcome to Gaia! ::

I noticed you have a profile up in the character critique forum for this character as well but the WIP is gone from the title so I'm going to review what's here.

First of all I'd like to say you've got a good start. Just two things, while minor, will make it easier. Please proof read your profile and fix it so that it's proper grammar and punctuation? You've got several run on sentences that make it difficult to separate one thought from another. I'll leave questions where I'm uncertain about a point or thought as needed.

The beginning of her history is pretty good. Following the family business is a common path to walk among the Holders. I do assume they're Holders. On Pern, there's two groups of people: the Holders, who live in homesteads and small communities, and the Weyrfolk, people who live and work in large settlements built into extinct volcanoes or rock structures like cliff faces. The Weyrfolk are the Dragonriders. Since you mention minimal knowledge of dragons, I'd say they're Holders.

The part where she meets her master seems, however, rather unrealistic. She's a child wandering into a Smith's workplace, with molten metal, heavy bars, and the various other dangers of a metal-working facility... and he tells her she's got a heart of iron without even knowing her? There is no magic on Pern, and no religion... so such a thing seems rather unlikely. While it is an elegant phrase and something of an inspiration to her, perhaps he tells her this after she's pestered him to the point he finally agrees to take her on as an apprentice?

Also, you want her to be a Candidate yes? To be consider for the dragons? If she's so set on being a Smith... why would she accept the opportunity? This isn't addressed at all and I would appreciate some details regarding that decision of hers.

What do you mean by 'there has only been rare instances of someone like him being there'? I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to imply.

Again, choosing to be a Smith over a Baker is totally fine but the repercussions are rather strong. If you insist, she can be disowned but that sort of thing is usually a breaking of communication between the people involved. Her name wouldn't have been stripped... so she'd still be Crystal. I would prefer you cut that from her history and either keep her name as Crystal or have it be Arya in the first place. It's also okay that she take up residence with the Smith and become an official apprentice - her master would have had to give notice to the Smithhall of the new apprentice.

The way such things work on Pern is that each craft has a Crafthall. Each crafthall is the focal point around which the tradesmen of the craft train and learn. To be an official apprentice, a character must be recognized by the Crafthall and to increase their rank, they must pass an exam and be recognized as a Journeyman. The same thing goes with ranking up from Journeyman to Master.

You have her set up as a Journeyman in advanced stages of learning at 17. That's rather unlikely. It's more likely that she's a late-stage apprentice (almost Journeyman) or early-stage Journeyman (having just obtained the rank after passing the exam). Or if you want her to be so skilled, increase her age to 20 something to better reflect that? Again, age and rank are something to consider as only people who are between 12 and 21 are allowed to Stand at a Hatching. If you want her to just be a Smith, that's perfectly fine, but it's better to have circumstances that best reflect her history. It's always a good idea to ask yourself 'is this realistic?' about a profile. In this case would a 17-year-old really really have nearly mastered blacksmithing when she's only been in that trade for 5 years? That sort of thing.

You don't mention her being Searched either. Do you intend to have her Searched via RP? If so, please note where she's located and that you want that to be done somewhere in the profile?

The final few sentences are confusing. What is that supposed to mean? As I said before, there's no magic on Pern, or religion. So no ghosts, or spirits, or prophets, or seers, etc etc. If you could specify what the meaning is supposed to be?

Her appearance is okay. I only want to note that a lightweight fabric skirt would be awkward to work in at a blacksmith's. As would a skintight leather top. Leather aprons, overalls, etc etc are usually more the clothing of choice for their durability and workability.

Her personality needs some work before it can be accepted. You say she works things to sheer perfection - that's something that's generally frowned upon. You don't need to have a perfect character to have a well-rounded, interested person. You also tell me more about what people do around her then what she does around people. Tell me about her from her point of view. What are her thoughts? Her impressions? Her goals, pet peeves even? You also have her as shy and reserved but then open and outgoing in another circumstance. The two don't really work since they're almost complete opposites. Not liking her looks isn't a flaw, actually. A personality flaw is something that causes friction. That she's unimpressed with her appearance could either be a severe case of self-depreciation or a case of vanity and the pursuit of perfection. But, again, where does that come from? She chose Smithcraft as her life's trade. Surely she knows after 5 years that the craft isn't exactly the prettiest one out there and that skill is valued over appearance? I find it hard to believe that she puts a mask on at all times - if she's so sad and depressed all the time, how can she keep that from the world at all times? It will bleed through, whether she wants it to or not, and that needs to be reflected in her personality - and why she's so depressed also needs to be explained.
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Also, the last little bit seems unnecessarily dramatic to me. The point of this RP isn't to hook a character up to another immediately. It's to play in the world and watch the characters, and community, grow. If she's lonely, that's fine. But is she so lonely that she's depressed and withdrawn and otherwise numb and unresponsive? Is she a romantic who, according to the previous discussed traits, is so outgoing and in-your-face she might be called overly social? It's these sorts of questions that you need to answer and write down in the profile. Try telling me about her - about who she is, what she thinks. Walk a mile in her shoes and tell me how she thinks.

You've got a good start but there's some work yet to be done. I look forward to your changes! Please colour code them red when you do make changes? That'd be appreciated.

Thank-you and welcome to Dragonflight!