Things death note characters would never say...

[Dynaswhore]

Hmm i got quite bored but i thought this could be fun. ^^
Post things you think they would never say. I'll start off...

Mello: *spits out chocolate* Wtf is this?! *points gun at light* Gimme your potato chips b***h!
Matt: Smoking kills, which is why i have decided to give up smoking.
Rem: ......Im sorry Misa who?  

[Astalakio]

Light: I've decided that being the God of a new world would just be too much responsibility for someone like me. That's why I've made the decision to give the job to Misa.

L: Oh Matsuda, you're such a hoot. I'm glad we've got you around to keep the mood light.  

[Esule]

L: I've decided that my recent sugar intake has become unacceptable, so as to prevent any future illnesses I will be adhering to a strict broccoli and carrot diet.  

[Dynaswhore]

Light: *picks up death note for the first time* Whats this? Hmm Death note...what a weird name for a note book...Oh well i'll use it as a diary. ^-^ *goes home* *starts to write in it* Dear diary...i went to school today and girls where following me everywhere! I must be the most popular guy in school! Dear diary the kids where mean to me today, making fun of my surname..etc etc *proceeds to write* *see's ryuk* O.O Who are you?

Ryuk: That's my diary b***h! >=O And Gimme some oranges...i could use a little vitamin C right now. ¬.¬

Light: No!! Go away this is my diary! *shoo's him off with hand gesture* =O

Ryuk: Urgh..NO "Genius" its mine...Look at the early entries...
-.-'

Light: *flips through pages* Wtf...?
Dear diary....i met another shinigami today...a really cute one she winked at me! I think...im in love...^///^

Ryuk: see?

Light: oh im sorry...*scoffs* It's tottaly your's i would never write gay stuff like that...*hands it back* -.-'  

[TheNewLibrarian]

L: I've decided to give up my life of fighting crime and, instead, become an evil genius twisted  

[TheNewLibrarian]

Kari Twilight Mist

Mello: Wow I really need to diet and take anger management classes.

Roger: I love kids!

L: I really must work on my posture.

Omg! That's so funny because my friends and I (whom all cosplay characters from Death Note) always made fun of Roger because he hates kids rofl

Light: I should really stop manipulating people and live a more humble life  

[TheNewLibrarian]

Teru Mikami: I'm an atheist rofl  

[Dynaswhore]

Clover_IceQueen

Teru Mikami: I'm an atheist rofl

LOL i almost spat juice on the screen when i read this.  

[Guardian of the Skies]

Near: Taste the rainbow!
Rem: Does Misa ever shut up?
Mello: I love you, Near!
Near: Fear the tye-dye!  

[istatetheobvious]

Clover_IceQueen

Teru Mikami: I'm an atheist rofl

xD Lol!  

[Astalakio]

Misa: Light? Light who?  

[Sain After Dark]

L: Would you all stop calling me 'ryuzaki!' My name is L Lawliet!

Misa (With those videos, just after she found out Light was Kira): By the way everyone, do you know who's really awesome! Light Yagami!

(Actually...she probably would say that.. sweatdrop )

L: Thank you Matsuda.

(Well, he wouldn't say it seriously anyway. He would say it sarcastically I'm sure)  

[Innocence of Light Yagami]

Light: Misa, You're talented.

L: I've decided to respect Light-kun and Amane-san's privacy as to not watch them make-out.

Matsuda: Chief, I slept with your daughter, and hit on your wife at the Christmas party last year.
(NOTE: Hey, I'm not saying it didn't happen. Just that Matsuda isn't that suicidal.)

Misa: You know what, Light? You're a f**. A FREAKIN' f**!