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Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 11:32 am
AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORMName: Akiyo Hitsugaya Nicknames: Akiyo will grudgingly respond to the name of Aki. Gender: Female Age: Looks fourteen or fifteen.
Faction/Race Demon/Yuki-onna
Personality: Akiyo doesn't like you.
No, really.
Akiyo is a self-focusing jerk who thinks she's above it all. And she tries to stay calm, she really does; but her mother (yuki-onnas are mostly a single-gendered race after all) took an interest in the more succubus-like legends of her ancestors. And Akiyo isn't sure if she's supposed to be an implacable ice queen, or a sultry demon who steals the life of travellers with a passionate kiss like her mother...
To put it simply; Akiyo Hitsugaya doesn't know what she is supposed to be. And although she naturally takes one extreme, her mother-her favorite and most hated person-has always taken another. So she is implacable, and she is calm, but when nobody's looking, Akiyo Hitsugaya is terrified that this isn't what she was ever supposed to do. She should be learning, she should defeat her mother; she should learn the tales of her grandmother and her great-grandmother and their mothers before them...but she can't, so she will not show weakness; and she will never admit that she cannot do something. If she fails, she will say that it would have been insulting to ask her to do it; so she didn't want to try.
Her personality that is commonly seen can be conveyed in a set of phrases: "You cannot interest me." "You cannot touch me." "You cannot catch me."
And the phrase all yuki-onna are taught as children: "If you are alone in a snowstorm, I will be the last thing that you will ever see." But none of this is truly her, most of it is the mask she wishes was her true face...
Basically, Akiyo Hitsugaya is a messed-up little girl. She knows she's not strong, and she knows she needs to do something, but she doesn't know what to do...so she stays inside herself, never letting a chance of a weakness show. She can't be weak. She must inspire fear, be strong; and if it needs to be, she will lie in order to keep her facade up. The yuki-onna wears a mask of ice, and she only wishes that she could become that mask...but oh, how she tries...
Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy? Akiyo is at Amityville Academy for two reasons: 1. She wants to learn the proper talents of her race; the skills of an ice spirit who hides in the snow and attacks travelers. This is what she wants to do; who she wants to be. 2. Because her mother couldn't say anything bad about it, and Akiyo is fairly sure that there is no seducing course.
Natural Ability: The natural ability of a yuki-onna is to dissolve into a cloud of snow and mist and reform. Akiyo Hitsugaya tends to abuse this whenever she gets into anything she doesn't want to be in.
FEAR: Akiyo can take a breath and, when she blows it out, create a blast of freezing wind. The duration of this is limited by how long she can keep blowing; and it will only go in the direction she was blowing. The wind has a range of about one and a half feet, and that is the range that she can freeze anything in. And by freeze, I mean 'make your skin cold like you just stuck your hand in a bucket of ice cubes and freeze your ******** sweat'.
Physical Description: Eye Colour: Crimson. Hair Colour/Style: Long, straight, and as black as it gets. Skin Colour: White. Ghosty white; white with a tiny bit of a blue tinge. Clothing Style/Colours: White yukata; flowy-silky-looking and down to the floor, looks a bit too big for her. Wears a chōchō musubi obi, similar to the girl on the left's: bottom part is black, top is lavender; and the string with the symbol on it (symbol is a white snowflake with circular drops of crimson blood, in this case) is crimson. The bow on the back of the obi is small, but patterned with whirling stripes of black and white with purple snowflake-dots on it. Extra: She walks in a gliding fashion; but nobody can actually see her feet (she does have some, but only in human form). Crimson lips; and some lavender eyeshadow. References: Yuki-onna on Wikipedia, aaand I'm getting a ref sheet up. biggrin
here's a lullaby to close your eyes (goodbye) it was always you that I despised I don't feel enough for you to cry (oh no) here's a lullaby to close your eyes
History: Akiyo's mother, rebellious even as a child; was quite the scholar when she was her daughter's age. Reading about the legends of her ancestors brought from the human world, she realized that stealing the life of humans by seducing sounded more more enticing than freezing them and nomming on their life energy.
Her mother was quite loose with the morals supposedly burned into her; and even bore a child to a human male at one point, bringing up the old tale and making it new again after about a hundred years. This is where the story of a yuki-onna having mercy on a boy, finding him and having his child years later; and disappearing when he mentioned her showing up previously came from!
At some point, she decided that someone needed to be taught how fun it was to toss all those puny restraints about being a ghost aside; but her sizeable family would no longer let the yuki-onna teach their offspring. No matter, she smirked; and used one of the last-resort techniques yuki-onnas know to continue their race if by some chance many have died: asexual reproduction. Once every hundred years or so, a yuki-onna can get pregnant without the help of a male, and give birth to a child that resembles them in every way. This child, in this story, was Akiyo.
The mother-named Chieko* Hitsugaya-was accepted back by her family grudgingly, as they realized how hard it was to raise a child. Chieko was still their blood, and yuki-onnas care for children like nothing else. So as Chieko's plan to name the child Aiko** was shot down, Akiyo's grandmother named her granddaughter 'white world'. And she was raised by her grandmother for her childhood; but then Chieko took her child back, planning to teach her the sultry ways of seduction.
Akiyo disagreed. She was always taking a shine to the tales of freezing a body and destroying them as they die, being a silent assassin; and everything her mother had chosen not to be. Akiyo Hitsugaya, desperate for a way out of these chains trying to force the traditions out of her; burst out with a plan to go to Amityville...and Chieko could do nothing against that. Maybe they taught classes on how to seduct; Chieko would force her daughter to do it! But while she's there, Akiyo cannot reaffirm that this is what she's supposed to do... * = (which means 'child blessed with wisdom') ** = (meaning 'love child')
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Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 5:01 pm
Reserved for whatever this ends up being.
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Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 8:12 pm
Bumping back up to the front page! I'd love a crit, yes?
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Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 5:58 pm
After reading about the Yuki-onna from the reference you gave, I personally think she leans more towards ghost than demon. Yes, they could have succubus-like tendencies, but not leaving any footprints, possibly being transparent and bursting into snow/dissipating makes me lean towards ghost. Besides, I think she sounds a thousand times more interesting as a ghost rather than a demon. 3nodding [/two cents]
If she's easy to anger but difficult to have her break down the ice queen personality then... does she rage internally the entire time? I guess I'm confused mostly on how she behaves. Is she like her mother or not like her mother at all? I guess the wording is a bit confusing, because in some sections, she "rages sexily" like her mother, but in others, she's the complete opposite? Perhaps some rephrasing will help with that.
I'd figure out which faction/race she is and base her personality traits on that - if she's a demon, it would make sense that she takes on the more succubus-like tendencies of some yuki-onna legends. If she's a ghost, then her ice queen personality makes sense.
I hope this helps! Everything else looks great! biggrin
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Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 7:13 pm
Looking at the article you referenced it says that Yuki-onna are ghosts/spirits so I don't believe she falls under demon at all.
The personality description is a bit confusing. It mentions how she tries to stay calm and then switches to how her mother has succubus-like intentions, how are they relevant to each other? Does she struggle with her intentions as a Yuki-onna versus her mother's succubus-like intentions? Why does she struggle with her mother's choice if so?
What does rage sexily mean? Sexy anger? Uncontrolled sexiness?
I think just re-wording the description and making it transition nicely so readers can make connections is what needs to be done.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 6:40 pm
Thanks for the crit; Akiyo-chan has been revised! She's up for crit again~
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Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 6:49 am
Finally revised her species to be a demon; as it was decided like...a month ago that they were demons.
Also messed around with the formating a little. wink
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:49 am
Bump...I'd really like to improve Akiyo-chan.
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