Akuba went in search for Niele again. His children were off doing their own thing, so he took this time to go find here. He stopped by her teepee,"hello? Is anyone there?"
Niele hadn't see akuba in months.He had other things to deal with other than keeping his love life in hand.Snorting she grazed behind the teepee.She mumbled a bunch of things to herself as she didn't know akuba was looking for her.Slaming her hoof she sighed.
Akuba thought it was best not to look inside he might be intruding, he took another glance at the teepee and walked round it minding his own business to go in the direction where she normally grazed. I nthe corner of his eye he saw a pink soquili. He froze. Too slight to be calon,"Niele?" He looked at her as if he didn't believe she was really there.
Niele didn't look up,she simply kept grazing.Niele wouldn't say a word.Turning she put her butt in his direction,telling him that she was completely pissed off at him.Flicking her tail she snorted.
Akuba sighed. There was nothing he could say to explain why he had gone so long or how he felt about the whole situation. He said nothing, just looked at her and approached her backside, didn't attempt to get to close or foolishly he'd risk a kick.
Niele moved forward as he walked closer."Why are you back.Don't you have others to take care of."Snorting she slamed her hoof and walked a bit more towards some apples.
"They can take care of themselves fine when I'm gone. They have their own things to do I can't baby them forever", he said softly,"I'm here to talk to you...about everything." Akuba shook his mane,"I know I've upset you many times. I've cheated, denied you access to your children's half siblings and gone away for months on end amongst other things." He walked a bit closer to her side now.
Niele pinnied her ears and jerked away from him."were all perfectly fine here.Plus you should've thought about this months ago,or atleast told someone to tell me that you were alright or where you were!I thought you were dead akuba.I thought you were dead!"Snorting her eyes didn't tear up.She was completely tore apart,Niele just didn't understand."You could've just have let me meet your family."
Akuba looked shocked at her revelations,"you did...I tried to get to you...I tried Niele. I was thinking about that. Why do you think about you and the rest of the family it drags me down every time?" He frowned trying to at least catch eye contact,"they know about you now," he shook his head,"I didn't know what to do, what was right. I did what I thought was best..."
"Then you should've sent stripe or someone to speak to me.."Looking at him quickly she bent her head down and munched on an apple."They should've known about me when they were born.When you told me about them you wanted me to meet them and be their mom."
His eyes grew wider,"I did...I thought he went to visit you...she says she does all the time." Akuba was confused by her statements,"you were outraged. I wasn't so sure Niele. I didn't want to lose these kids. I didn't want anything bad to happen like with Calon...what if it happened again?"
"Well she didn't speak to me."Huffing she rolled her eyes."I was upset because you cheated on me.I wouldn't ever hate a child because of an adults mistake.Even if something like with calon did happen you'd over come it,You and calon are fine."
"Why didn't she? She love you to bits she's always chatty," it didn't make sense to him,"you seemed to...maybe it was misjudgement...but it's too late...I'm sorry. I was out of order but I was trying to protect them. I know it's hard to understand maybe?"
Niele tried not to cry.Snorting and nipping at him she became angry."You don't understand,Calon tells me she doesn't know if i even love her."Pinning her ears she sniffled."I just don't understand why you didn't ask me.
Akuba withdrew from the mare every time she nipped,"She's not sure if anyone loves her. She doesn't know what it's like, she hasn't grown up around us enough to experience it." Akuba's eyes looked sad and he sighed looking at the ground.
"I suppose.."She looked at him and sighed."Why do you tell me this now?and not how long ago?Are you just gonna up and leave now?
Akuba looked at her intensely,"I'm trying to right my wrongs but it isn't easy."
"Then what are you gonna do about Both sides akuba...Who do you choose..you can pick both.."She said softly and became more calm about the situation.
"I can't pick both If I pick you I loose them. If I pick them I loose you and the others." He shook his head hesitantly sighing.
"Then who will you pick.."She said quietly stepping back away from him.She knew completely what was coming for her.
Akuba retreated a couple of steps now pacing,"I'm only gonna have to break your heart, both ways would break me. I'm loosing a part of myself either way."
Niele looked away and nodded quietly."Okay.."She kept her head up and a positive look upon her face."Its for the best..."
Akuba's ears flapped back half in disbelief he could still see how upset she was, he nodded back trying to put on a smile. "You won't be alone Niele." He turned away from her.
"Yes i will.I was with someone i thought that i could never break from,i trusted you."She turned herself and flicked her tail."Have a happy life...and family.."
Akuba had to be tough and gather his courage,"you don't know how much I'd loose it's not just my children I'll loose. I'll loose you but it's a sacrifice. I won't have anyone to love like I loved you." He shook his head again,"you have 'calon, soup, brian, the others. I'd barely have them even if I was with you, plus I'd loose the others."
"You do to have them...My family is your family.They don't hate you Akuba!They've never hated you!They just don't like what you did to me...they never hated you...Then you'd be losing my kids and me.Forever."
"They're my kids too. we don't connect like normal families. I did a bad thing. But dare I say my children are beautiful and I don't regret them one bit. I'd be loosing something. It's not higher prefference. My heart can't take it. I'm not allowed to be with you."
"I should've known from day one akuba..."She teared up and turned her head away.She wasn't going to run like any other time,But she knew calon would show up soon.
"I made commitments from day one. Things just happened." Akuba didn't want the interruption.
Calon heard his mother and father talkin a distance.Munching on grass he walked towards them.Seeing his mother crying and his father saying something he became confused."What do you mean?"
Niele didn't move when he said such things,her heart just broke even more.Hearing calons voice made it break harder.
Akuba looked at 'Calon not proud of this moment. "I'm leaving for good 'Calon." He said quietly.
Calon stared at him."What do you mean your leaving?Your not with mom anymore?Your gonna leave us!?"Accalon snorted and wrapped his head around his mother.
Niele teard up more when she heard his speak.She would be forever hurt.She let this stallion in thinking he'd never leave her or anything.But he did so many things...She didn't know if he came back if she'd ever forgive him.
Akuba knew this was the typical farther leaving home scenareo. "I could still visit but I'm not allowed to be your mother's mate."
"I don't want you to ever come back.EVER!"Snorting he started to push his mom away from akuba to take her back home."Don't apologize either.This is your choice,every choice you make has bad side.This is your god damn bad side."Flicking his tail he tugged on his mothers mane to leave.
Niele was pushed lightly by Accalon to leave.Looking to Akuba over Accalons back she nipped at calon.Walking slowly over to Akuba she kissed him upon the cheek and looked into his eyes."You can come back whenever you want.."She whispered quietly turning to walk.
Akuba tried to blink away his emotions ," almost dying for you was never enough." He waited for a kick or a slap but intact was given a kiss which broke his heart. He nodded and bowed his head.
Niele kept looking back to him.Tears flowing down her cheeks.Stopping finally she tried to keep walking.She just couldn't let go.Accalon had walked off ahead.
"I love you Niele." Akuba sighned sadly and walked off,"see you."
Niele trembled."Y...you can't go..."
Akuba looked a her with silence following.
"Y...y...you just can't..."She teared up as they just fell from her muzzle and dribbled down her neck.
Akuba dried her tears and hushed her,"don't cry because it's the end. You have a beautiful future. Where's that smile I'm used to seeing hey?" He looked in her eyes as if searching for the smile, he cuddled her a little trying to calm her.
Niele still teared up."I don't want anything else akuba...can't you get that through your fat skull!"She huffed and looked at him.
Akuba looked down nodding in agreement indicating he knew of her desire,"I know." He frowned now shaking his head,"I know Niele." He huffed too.
"I just don't understand why you picked kids over me.."She flicked her tail and huffed with tears.Looking away she let the tears drop from her face
"I can't leave them now. They still need me", he couldn't meet her gaze as she had looked away,"you need me?" Akuba turned and retreated several steps as if he was going to walk away.
"I thought you couldn't baby them..."She kept looking away more,then out of the corner of her eye she seens him back away,"Yes...yes i do.."
"I can't but it doesn't mean that they still don't need me", he stared intensely at the back of her neck. She really needed him that bad. Akuba turned away and seethed inside he simply couldn't take it,"don't think that I don't love you."
"I'm starting to believe you dont..."She walked and lay beside a tree that was near by.Sobbing she let her hair drop infront of her face to hide it.Niele looked like a big baby crying,but she was losing someone that she thought she could trust and have forever.But that was being torn to pieces.
Akuba tried to drown her out and began to walk off mumbling to himself and clenching his eyelids together.
"Goodbye then..."She got up huffed with a squeal and took off in a hurry.He truely didn't care for her if he just up and left..he could've went behind his childrens backs or something to see her.But it wouldn't ever happen againa,she couldn't trust anyone.
Akuba walked off in the other direction to ponder alone for a while he'd've loved to have seen her again even as a friend as she had seemed to have needed him that much, but he'd never go in secret as this was disrespectful to the mare and didn't believe in going behind backs to have a secret relationship with a former mate as especially behind his children. "Farewell", he whispered gravely and moved on.
