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 Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 9:31 pm
Here is a little backstory....I am 31, live on my own and have a good job and family and friends that support me. My issue is that I have not dated or been in a relationship since 2000-2001. I would like to have that special someone in my life.
I have some female friends but not alot. I am also shy and nervous when dealing with new people. I won't necessarily start a conversation, but will join when. I am also a fairly quiet person. Once someone gets to know me I can open up.
I think my having Aspergers has played some part in all this. I want to know what people in similar situations like mine or their own situations have done to deal with something like this. Your help is apreciatted. Thank you.
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 10:32 pm
At this point, I'm not sure what to suggest. I'm lacking in the department of love, particularly because I'm so different. I am much like you, except I've grown detached from the idea of getting a boyfriend in the first place. I'm horrible when it comes to talking to the opposite sex. Yes, I'll speak to them, but my ability to talk to them is significantly decreased.
There's not much I can suggest. Have you tried social networking, such as Facebook and MySpace? Personally, I hate MySpace. Facebook is better, but not really worth much if it isn't of any interest. By this point, I'd say most of your choices are already taken by someone or at least a parent. It pains me to say this, but I'm just not sure anyone is available.
However, in the long run, I'm more of a realist, not necessarily optimistic. I find that others around me prefer the optimistic view, which in turn makes it difficult to associate with them. Maybe you should talk to any female friends you have and see what they have to suggest. Sorry I'm not much help. Our ability to communicate with others is so similar, I'm pretty much useless. XP
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 10:58 pm
Thanks anyways. I do have facebook though. I have a myspace, but have pretty much left it alone.
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:50 pm
I don't have direct experience in your situation, but maybe you could initiate conversation with someone in a way you feel most comfortable. Whether that be online, over the phone, etc.
My husband and I met on myspace, and we eventually started talking on the phone, then finally met in person. I think the hardest part is just starting conversation with someone that you don't know. If you're lucky, you "click" with them and then it's much easier to talk to them.
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Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2010 12:15 am
Thanks for the advice San. I will keep that in mind. I am going to a video game and board gaming convention this weekend. It should be fun. I hope to potentially meet some fun new people.
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Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 1:54 pm
JuggaloGarent Thanks for the advice San. I will keep that in mind. I am going to a video game and board gaming convention this weekend. It should be fun. I hope to potentially meet some fun new people. Oh cool that sounds like a lot of fun! xd
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Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 11:21 pm
Sans Serif JuggaloGarent Thanks for the advice San. I will keep that in mind. I am going to a video game and board gaming convention this weekend. It should be fun. I hope to potentially meet some fun new people. Oh cool that sounds like a lot of fun! xd It was fun. Two of my friends were working there, so we hung out after their shift. Before that I did my own thing. Didn't really interact with other people all that much.
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Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 9:21 am
Yeah, I remember a couple of years ago I was obsessed with finding that special someone. I would get so upset because I was the only person I knew that never dated (I'm seventeen by the way, and I figured I should have started when I was fourteen like a lot of people). Then one day, I fell in love with someone I've known since grade eight. There was a time that I thought he might have feelings for me too. He even asked me out, but out of panic I was like "NO!!". The next school day I saw him and he told me he was joking about it. Then I gave up on finding someone. I figured I was too ugly and too shy for a relationship. However, I don't think you should give up.
FYI I'm a girl irl.
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Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 10:18 am
xXSuperWhateverXx Yeah, I remember a couple of years ago I was obsessed with finding that special someone. I would get so upset because I was the only person I knew that never dated (I'm seventeen by the way, and I figured I should have started when I was fourteen like a lot of people). Then one day, I fell in love with someone I've known since grade eight. There was a time that I thought he might have feelings for me too. He even asked me out, but out of panic I was like "NO!!". The next school day I saw him and he told me he was joking about it. Then I gave up on finding someone. I figured I was too ugly and too shy for a relationship. However, I don't think you should give up. FYI I'm a girl irl. Hadn't planned on giving up.
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Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 3:22 pm
JuggaloGarent Hadn't planned on giving up. Good for you. smile
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Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 10:43 pm
My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago and I have been really depressed since. I really can't stand to be single
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Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 11:06 pm
Mistress_Venom_Poison My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago and I have been really depressed since. I really can't stand to be single I have been single since like 2000. It can be frustrating but I just keep going. I know I will eventually find the one for me. I hope.
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Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 11:34 pm
JuggaloGarent Mistress_Venom_Poison My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago and I have been really depressed since. I really can't stand to be single I have been single since like 2000. It can be frustrating but I just keep going. I know I will eventually find the one for me. I hope. I hope to find a love too
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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 3:05 pm
Well, the best thing I can say is to maybe try meeting someone online first before dating. Some people with Autism or Aspergers find it easier to interact with others online and maybe interacting with someone online first before you try dating in real life would make things a bit more comfortable for you. smile I tried it myself and it is working fine so far though I have yet to find the right one as well.
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:50 am
I've never been in a relationship, though I've wanted to be since I was a teenager. I was always very quiet in school, and though classmates did acknowledge me, I only once had someone take an interest in me (ie, relationship), and I, being the socially awkward (I think that's the right phrase) person that I was (and still sort of am), declined. I also recently learned that I probably have Aspergers. I unfortunately don't have any advice I can give, as I've never had a girlfriend, but I think the advice other people gave is good.
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