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 Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:03 pm
She took her week to feel better; it didn't work, but all the same, she had to go out sometime. Technically her room was the room that had been the "guest's", but you'd never know. Her clothes were there, and her pillows and blankets, but Elke slept in Grayson's room. It was pristine; this time, Tristan hadn't ripped it to pieces. She remembered sitting in this room the morning before the accident, waking up with her head on Grayson's shoulder because they liked to sleep in the same bed. It meant they wouldn't forget the other was there. It was safe.
Now he was dead, and she was alone, but she had to go out and do something, or Dad and Pop would get mad. So she picked up the phone, flipping through her contacts. Called the hospital, looking for information about Anthony Darrow--she didn't want to see any of her senshi friends, but Tony was normal and safe, he was like her uncle, and she just needed to know he was safe. But there was no information they could give her. In desperation, she called his cell phone--in case of emergency, he'd said when he gave it to her. It was funny, because the only one who was really going to have an emergency the other could help with was him, but she wasn't smiling over it now. No answer.
It was a very pale Elke who abandoned Van in front of Tony's apartment building. "Hi," she said to the man behind the counter. "Please, where can I find Tony Darrow?"
She knocked on the door to his apartment, hands clenched in the pockets of one of Grayson's jackets. "Mr. Darrow?... Tony?"
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:12 pm
Anthony Darrow had not been coping well following his first day back at work. In fact, he hadn't been back after that one. It had been too much, too soon, and everything seemed to have crumbled after those hopeful moments he had stepped into the building.
He couldn't face Carol again. He couldn't face the library, the room full of years wasted collecting books on Camelot, the lonely walk home. He couldn't face hobbling around on his cane. Knowing Edward wouldn't be stopping by for their regular lunches. Knowing Elke, Sailor Virgo, was gone. Home hadn't brought him any solace. He spent the first night after work in the bar, getting drunk, and had been asked to leave at closing. He came home, but didn't sleep.
How could he sleep any more?
He drank.
The phone had been ringing all morning. All day. He had 'disconnected' the land phone by throwing his cane at it and knocking it off the hook, but that left him stranded on the sofa, with his booze, without a way to properly support himself and hobble around. He hated that cane anyway. His cell phone ended up in the kitchen after he threw that, too, but he could hear it buzzing on the floor. Probably Carol trying to reach him. She had left a message earlier, after all, before the phone had met its fate.
He didn't want to talk to her.
When his doorbell rang he peered out from under a pillow, a bottle in one hand. Grumbling, he got up, wondering if a neighbor was complaining about all the thumps of things being thrown. He was usually quiet, after all. Or maybe they were wondering why he wasn't at work. He limped over, ready to yell at them and explain he had just been through something they couldn't possibly understand when he pulled the door open and felt himself grow cold.
A ghost?
He stared at her, the bottle falling from his hand and clattering in the doorway. Elke. Not dead, or if so a ghost. He stared at her, looking a mess, his hair everywhere, his clothes rumpled and slept in, his eyes dark and bloodshot.
"E...Elke?"
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:24 pm
Someone was moving. Relatives? It could be relatives. She couldn't get her hopes up because Grayson was dead, and that meant Tony could be dead too, because he wasn't picking up his phone, and that wasn't like Tony, it wasn't. If he was dead, she decided, she'd just go home and never leave. Forget school, forget Zodiacs, forget everything. Just sit there and wallow.
But the door was opening now, and it would be rude to be standing there, staring at her feet. She looked up, and her lips curled up into a tiny, tentative smile.
They stared at each other for a very long minute. Elke couldn't criticize his appearance, or his method of dealing with having been in a coma for a very long time; if she was old enough, she would've been drinking too. So instead of a lecture, she picked up the bottle from the floor (proving, in the meantime, her utter corporeality) and then reaching up to tug his collar into place. Andeon got drunk a lot, sometimes, so she just said, "I'm sorry," and ran her free hand through her very blonde hair. "I... I called the hospital, and they couldn't tell me anything, and I called you, but you weren't picking up, and I thought... I thought you were dead, so... So I thought I'd check on you. I can go, if it's a bad time?"
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:32 pm
Tony looked at her, gaping. He heard her speaking, saw her pick up the bottle, felt her tug his collar back into alignment. She was Elke, the one he knew, the one that was very nearly a daughter, or as they had arranged it, a niece to him.
He thought he had lost her, and yet there she was.
Reaching for the bottle, not to drink from it, but from an impulse that told him she shouldn't even be holding it at her age, he shook his head. Though he hadn't been quite so drunk in a long time, for so many hours at once, he was certain it wasn't supposed to make him hallucinate.
That was drugs, right? Booze didn't do that.
He shook his head, wobbling, his knees threatening to give out. It hit him that she had spoken to him. He had heard her voice! She was there, physically, and he was sitting there thinking he was seeing things? He moved to hug her, dropping the bottle again.
"I thought you were dead!" he said in a rush of emotion, "I was told... s-she said you were..." realizing he might be crushing her, he pulled back, staring at her again. "You thought I was... I..."
He gave up on speaking after that, just hugging her to him again tightly. He might have thought to move from the open doorway, but he didn't really care at that moment. After all the sadness and death, all the terrible news reports and the strange things that had happened to him, this was the most joyous thing he could ever imagine.
"Thank God, you're okay."
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:53 pm
He was staring at her like he'd seen a ghost, or a monster, and her smile faded a little bit. Didn't he like her anymore? She could handle it if he did, because he was alive and that meant there was time for things to change. (You can't change things with the dead, because the dead don't talk, the dead don't see, they might as well have never been real.) This time when he dropped the bottle, it landed next to her foot, and she was going to pick it up but that was some kind of abortive because right then she was clutched to his chest, and.
And it was just what she needed right then, because Tony didn't bring back memories of Grayson, so she could be really happy--nothing had to change here. This could stay like it always was, couldn't it? So even as her smile returned she started to cry, pressing her face into Tony's chest even though he smelled of alcohol. "I'm sorry," she said, when he stopped talking; "It was a car crash and they got me confused for someone else, I'm so sorry."
It didn't matter who 'she' was that said Elke was dead. Because she was right there, and she was alive, and Tony was alive. After a minute, as though it were the most natural thing in the world, she said, "I think you're drunk. Shouldn't you sit down or something? Andeon always falls over."
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:17 pm
Tony agreed with her. He was drunk, and he needed to sit down, but the two weren't entirely connected. Nor were they mutually exclusive, of course. But seeing her, after truly believing Carol when she told him, apparently mistakenly, that Elke had died... he had no idea how to handle it, truly, and it knocked the wind right out of him. He was wobbly and suddenly very dizzy. Sitting was a very good idea.
"Y-yes, sitting would be... uh... yes." He stammered, stepping back to let her in. He leaned on the door, then made to close it, but it got jammed on the bottle. Picking it up hurriedly, dumping it on himself on accident, he put it on the nearest table before he limped and wandered to the living room sofa.
The cage sitting on the coffee table, which was Booder's home, was empty.
"I-I'm sorry I'm drunk," he said dumbly, looking at her as he flopped down. He was very serious about how sorry he was, "I wasn't... I wasn't expecting company, you see. L-least of all... well. I mean. I thought you were dead..."
His face got a bit red and he stopped talking, like something was suddenly blocking his throat. He swallowed hard and shut his eyes tightly, but he couldn't fight it. A sob escaped him and he covered his eyes with his hands, relief shoving his misery out of him rather violently.
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:32 pm
She watched the limp, her olive-green eyes rather expressive of her sadness. When had he gotten hurt like that? Not recently, she hoped, not because of her. Then she followed him to the couch, perching next to him but not too close because he wasn't Grayson, which was good. "I'm sorry you don't feel good," she said, just as seriously and solemnly. But she was smiling a little again, still wiping at her eyes with the base of her hands.
"I didn't die," she said again. "That was..." She was surprised at the sound of a sudden sob, and she threw her arms around Tony like that might make him stop crying. "Don't cry, Tony, please don't!" Because she felt like she might cry again, and with all the tears she'd been shedding over the past week she felt rather like a sponge wrung dry.
What was she supposed to do? Grayson never cried, not even when she was hurt. She didn't know what to do, so she just hugged him tighter and said, "I'm not gonna die ever again."
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:38 pm
Tony couldn't look up from his hands, trying his damned best to stop his bawling but just making it worse for his effort. He drew a shaking breath, held it for a moment, then sobbed again, leaning toward her when she threw her arms around him.
He let her hug him, not moving, keeping his face hidden and trying to muffled his crying. When he could finally breathe a little closer to normal, though still marred by some hiccups, he rubbed his eyes and shook his head in furious apology.
"I'm s-sorry, I don't know where that... I mean.. I-I know..." he stopped, trying to keep himself together, eyes stinging. He looked at her after rubbing his face on his sleeve. "I'm okay. You're okay. I'm glad you're okay."
He looked at her, face and eyes red, looking miserable but offering her a thin smile. He was honestly overjoyed to see her, to know she hadn't died, that at least one terrible thing he had thought had happened really hadn't. It restored a little bit of hope and faith in him, and allowed him to steel himself slightly better.
"Please, try not to," he said, almost laughing at the promise, though it was no joke. "I won't, either."
He looked around, trying to gather himself. "I'm sorry for that... display. Do you want to, ah. Do you need anything to... to eat, or drink, maybe? No. Not drink. I mean. Not. Well. Yes. Water?"
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:52 pm
She wondered, for a minute, if this would be how she would react if Grayson came back. Of course, he was really dead. He wouldn't come back, and if she shed a few more tears Tony didn't notice or didn't comment. "You're okay," she agreed, and she settled back against the couch, her shoulder touching his. "And I'll be okay." Because she was closer, now, but still...
"I don't need anything," she said, patting his hand after a moment. "And I'm not gonna die, never again."
This was not the time to tell him about the fact that she'd already died a few more times than most people got. So she didn't, and just said after a minute, "I'm glad you're better, you were... I was really worried about you." Which was unfair of her to say, he'd thought she was dead, but she was fifteen years old, and...
And... "I don't like alcohol," she said, searching for a better topic. "Wine is okay, Maman and Papa served it with dinner sometimes, but it always makes my head fuzzy and that's not good."
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 8:00 pm
"You shouldn't be drinking at all!" Tony protested, shaking his head. Yes, his youth included plenty of drunk nights, but he had been a terrible example and hardly wanted to condone that. Of course, he knew wine at dinner with the parents was nothing close to what he used to do, so he supposed he had no reason to chide her.
He hobbled into the kitchen, getting his cane from the floor and then bringing her a glass of water, anyway. Apparently he hadn't heard her say she was fine.
Looking and feeling a bit better, his eyes drying and his lungs able to fill without a hiccup or the threat of more sobbing, he returned to sitting next to her, looking at her again to really make sure that it was her.
"I'm really relieved you're okay. I didn't know you had been hurt until I woke up... I thought you had died from it... but here you are, worrying about me, when I'm just... being silly."
He frowned. How pathetic was that? It occurred to him that everyone had to be suffering some level of similar pain and confusion. Anyone who had been in that world, or had lost a loved one to the whole epidemic, or were tied to some of the other tons of chaos that had happened. He wasn't the only one in pain, or steeped in confusion, how could he let himself get so wrapped up in himself?
Now he felt guilty for being drunk. For missing work. For losing himself for a little while, there.
"How are you doing, anyway?" He asked, concern now etched on his face.
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 8:38 pm
Her tiny smile over his concern lasted for a few moments, and she followed him to the kitchen just in case. "What happened to your leg," she asked, tilting her head over the cane. She should know these things--"Oh!... oh." The fight with that Negaverser! The psychopath! Ughhh she wished she'd killed him, maybe that would have made the difference. Chaos theory, she remembered reading about over Daddy's shoulder.
She took the glass of water, even if she hadn't wanted it, and took a polite sip; she held it on her knees and stared like the glass held the secret of life. "You're not being silly. I have only left my room once. Well, it is not really my room, it... it was my brother's, but."
Not going to discuss--
"I'm okay," she lied, tapping her fingers on the sides of the glass. "I'm going to try to transfer to Meadowview though be-- because--"
Her grip on the glass was tight, too tight, but it helped her focus. "My brother's dead," she said, faintly, finally.
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 8:58 pm
Tony nodded, looking at his leg. "The chain pulled some muscles and tore them, which required surgery to fix. I'm supposed to do a physical therapy regiment, but I think just doing my work at the library should cover it." He patted his leg, leaving his cane leaning on the sofa once they had returned to it.
Watching her, he saw how tightly she was holding the cup, and how she looked so troubled. Sobering a bit, at least able to focus, he listened as she told him she was transferring schools, and that...
"Oh, Elke," he said, shaking his head. He moved to put his arm around her, but hesitated and put his hand on her shoulder instead. He gripped her reassuringly, unsure what to say. "I'm so sorry..."
It couldn't be easy, losing a sibling. He had lost his parents, true enough, but had never experienced having a sister or brother, and had no idea what it would be like to have them die young. He knew enough, however, to understand that it was not an easy thing for a young girl Elke's age to have to deal with.
Feeling useless, he wished he could do something to offer her more help, not thinking just being there was enough.
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:55 am
If she'd been a little faster... poor Tony. She really sucked at being a senshi, didn't she? She couldn't help Tony and she couldn't save Grayson. If you couldn't help those closest to you, did it even matter if you had the sort of power that would make Superman envious?
...not really.
"I could not even help him," she said after a tiny, quiet sigh. "I couldn't help my parents at his funeral, I couldn't do anything. S-so..."
Deep breath, time to test this theory out. "So I am not going to be Sailor Virgo any more. I can't lose the power, that's true, and if I see someone is in danger I will have to help them, but. I am not going to go looking for trouble. My parents have lost me twice, and the next time could be the real thing, and... I cannot do that to them. I love them." She looked up to Tony. "Does that make sense?... Am I being selfish?"
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 10:54 am
Tony looked at her, seeing how miserable she was, and how she was trying hard not to cry. He finally relented and put his arm around her shoulders, tugging her to him in an effort to soothe her. It really did feel like he was just outside her family, though he was not mourning the loss of a nephew, he was still trying to comfort a sorrowful niece.
He listened to her decision, frowning thoughtfully. That explained why she hadn't showed up that night, why he had thought so surely that she had died. In his mind she had always been there to meet him when he got off of work, and her not showing up that one time meant disaster.
He was only partially right. It was a disaster, but not the one he had imagined.
"You must do what you need to do," he said, at length. He shook his head. "I don't think it's selfish. You're so young, with so many responsibilities and woes. I don't know if you can simply... get away from the duties you're made to carry, but I do think you must try what feels right to you. If that means not working as Sailor Virgo... well, I can't say that's selfish."
He watched her, wondering if he was just trying to keep her from trouble himself. He didn't want to see her hurt any further, after all, and he always worried about her in fights with monsters or something equally sinister.
"I know you will be safer," he said, voicing his thoughts, "and I know that is something I certainly support. I know it will feel easier, and help you through this tough time, but I think... I also think you can't avoid it forever. Duties are just that. You have a gift, and a purpose, and though it hurts right now and feels impossible, you will return to it. But... right now... I think you should do what you think is the best thing for you." He was repeating himself, but he was a bit tipsy, though he was hiding it better now. Still, he meant what he was saying.
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 1:48 pm
She hadn't mentioned her desire to never henshin up again to another person, but it felt... nice... to have someone back her up so completely. Elke set aside the glass, fisted her hands in the collar of Grayson's jacket, pulled it up over her face. "Sorry," she said, and it was muffled through the fabric of the windbreaker. "I am very sorry..."
With his agreement, she felt a little more secure in her decision. She still had to inform the other Mutables so they wouldn't put her back in rotation--as if they'd had one. "My brother was one of us," she said after a minute. "Soldier Leo. He..."
How was she supposed to explain it?
"I told you about him," she said finally, "I did, didn't I?"
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