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 Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 2:12 pm
The wind howeled at me as I ran despretly down the street, the ice cracking beneath my feet like fire works, rain pelting down on me like dangers. Turning a corner I slid over and landed on my head, the pain blooming behind my ears and temporarily blinding me, all I could see was white and star's. Did I mention that I was late for my train, getting up I cursed as my ankle clicked out of place but was forced to carry on, It would be stupid to stop, only weak people did that and I was far from weak.
As I continued running the weather got worse to the point that I regreted leaving my umbrella behind. The wind got stronger till it was almost pushing me across the road, the rain turned into a bone freezing hail storm and the ice, well it didn't improve. Pulling my coat tighter around me I atempted to go on, I had around about five minutes to get from here to the train station, and I knew my train would leave without me. I ran as fast as I could attempting to dodge the patches of slippery ground.
Just as I reached the station the train started moving, I ran towards it trying despretly to jump on, I just couldn't get left here. No not in cold Antartica whilst I could be on a plane flight back to warm Spain where I would be safe. Instead I was stuck here in freezing Antartica with nothing but a small trench coat, leggings, boots and dress to keep me warm. Screaming I looked round the station.
Deserted.
Not even ghost would inhabit this place. I got up and straightned my gold hair, attempting to stop in gettin in my face. In the end I pulled it into a small pigtail. Sitting on a bench I changed my skoes to Rolo Blades. As I went to turn round. I felt two strong hands on my shoulders,freezing where I was I thought for a few seconds. I had been on the run for six months, It was turning winter and I had no where to stay, that and the fact that I was in Antartica. The coldest contry in the world with no food or protection. And that sooner or later I would die or be killed. So why didn't I just stop amusing them and hand my self in. I mean off all the bad things I would only be in an orphanage for a few weeks and then someone would addopt me. Hopefully not the council.
Turning to face them I put my hands up and got a glimpse of the posh black car behind them. Inside was none other than Mr Martho, his ugly silver eyes filled with joy as they led me to the car.
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 8:24 pm
Heh, pretty cool - A bit different, too, which is always good to see =P
Anyway, aside from many typos (Check those... =D ) it was pretty good. Well detailed and filled with all kinds of great similes and metaphors (which I always seem to stand in awe of due to my lack of ability to use such things..).
I can definitely see the characters trials even though it's only this small little passage, so that's some good work in that area =D Keep it up!
Anyway, what I'm tryin' to say is, nice job - but I can tell it was at least a little rushed =P Spend time with your work, love it and care for it <-- don't mean to sound to awkward or anything... just saying =D
Again, good work!
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