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 Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 8:27 am
that happend a week ago... but she managed to fall back in love with me again but now our sex life has been like nothing..... and it hurts cause I want to make love to her and she doesnt want to... she is overweight and says that shes either to tired or doesnt want to or shes hurting.... when we first started dating we were like rabbits but now we are more like snails.... does anyone know what she might be thinking?.....
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Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 10:27 am
Kevin Holmes that happend a week ago... but she managed to fall back in love with me again but now our sex life has been like nothing..... and it hurts cause I want to make love to her and she doesnt want to... she is overweight and says that shes either to tired or doesnt want to or shes hurting.... when we first started dating we were like rabbits but now we are more like snails.... does anyone know what she might be thinking?..... I had Ex who played that game, know what I did? I lost interest in them and left. If all they want to do is sit there and mop and plays the 'hurt girl' routine just leave, it isn't worth it. Cause she could end up doing that for many years to come and it isn't fair to you. Someone that I was starting to actually be really interested in started playing games like this and I just lost all interest and gave up.
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Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 1:12 pm
we been together for 3 years though..... its hard to see if she really wants me or doesnt.... I dont want to leave her cause we have alot of fun together..... I love her alot and we still are engaged..... I just want these games to stop and I want her to be more intimate with me again.....
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Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 1:32 pm
Try talking to her about it. Open communication is one of the most important elements of a relationship, and if you two can't/won't do that, then maybe it's time to move on, 3 years or not. You two could also look into relationship/couples counselling. Or if she's depressed, she could look into personal counselling for herself.
If she's hurting physically, has she tried seeing a doctor to see what could be wrong? Maybe she has an infection or there's something wrong internally.
If she said she doesn't want to sleep with you because your relationship fell apart, then there's probably not much you can do. You'll have to wait until she's ready to be intimate again, and in the mean time you just have to wait and try to foster the relationship so it becomes positive again. A week isn't a very long time, so be patient.
Also just found this today: http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/love-sex-relationships/rodale-article.aspx?cp-documentid=25117773 ("Close the Sex Gap").
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Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 4:04 pm
Didn't you just post a couple months ago saying that you guys had broken up, then like the next day you were back together, then the next day you two were trying to get pregnant? If that is the case, three years or not, kick her to the curb. People who pull that on again off again crap usually have no idea what they want, aren't ready for a relationship, enjoy toying with people, or any combination of those three things.
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Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 4:28 pm
LorienLlewellyn Didn't you just post a couple months ago saying that you guys had broken up, then like the next day you were back together, then the next day you two were trying to get pregnant? If that is the case, three years or not, kick her to the curb. People who pull that on again off again crap usually have no idea what they want, aren't ready for a relationship, enjoy toying with people, or any combination of those three things. I agree with Lorien, those details I did not know about.
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Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 5:01 pm
im surprised you remember all that lorien... I think the main issue that she dont wanna have sex with me anymore is because of that I cheated on her..... shamed to say it but havent done it since then... I think shes having a hard time letting it go.... also her step dad molested her while her mom was in jail for 6 months... so I know she has some issues that she cant really deal within herself.....
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Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 5:37 pm
I remember the threads as well. And honestly? Now it all sounds like excuses. I'd say your relationship is over, and its probably best if you two do not continue seeing each other in an intimate way. I think she should seek therapy for her issues.
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Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 6:39 pm
Just so you know, I don't remember those threads because I have a good memory. I remember them because your relationship sounded so disturbing and shockingly unhealthy that it really stood out.
I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm just hoping that we can make you realize that nothing you have ever said about your relationship has sounded good, right, or healthy. It sounds like three years of cheating, drama, break ups, makeups, trying to get pregnant without being remotely ready, etc.
And like Preston said, it just sounds like you're making excuses at this point. You always have some reason for why your relationship is so bad and unhealthy. But the fact is, if she can't deal with this stuff she needs to get counseling now or she shouldn't be in a relationship. No matter how much you might love her and want to be with her, this relationship does not sound healthy for either one of you right now.
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Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 10:27 pm
LorienLlewellyn Just so you know, I don't remember those threads because I have a good memory. I remember them because your relationship sounded so disturbing and shockingly unhealthy that it really stood out. I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm just hoping that we can make you realize that nothing you have ever said about your relationship has sounded good, right, or healthy. It sounds like three years of cheating, drama, break ups, makeups, trying to get pregnant without being remotely ready, etc. And like Preston said, it just sounds like you're making excuses at this point. You always have some reason for why your relationship is so bad and unhealthy. But the fact is, if she can't deal with this stuff she needs to get counseling now or she shouldn't be in a relationship. No matter how much you might love her and want to be with her, this relationship does not sound healthy for either one of you right now. Seconded. 3nodding We're not trying to be mean, we're just being honest.
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Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 12:36 pm
well we do have alot of good times like last night I got her some flowers and some chocolate after she got off work and she was happy but I think its just mostly her because of how much her life was messed up growing up, and shes having a hard time deciding on what she wants. does that make since?
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Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 2:06 pm
Kevin Holmes well we do have alot of good times like last night I got her some flowers and some chocolate after she got off work and she was happy but I think its just mostly her because of how much her life was messed up growing up, and shes having a hard time deciding on what she wants. does that make since? Yep that makes sense. And if that's the case, then she should probably be single right now so she can take some time all to herself and work on her issues with some professional help. Nothing says you guys can't get back together later in life once she's straightened herself out, after all. But if that's where she is right now, then it's going to be hard for her to give and share in a relationship when she's not in a stable position to do that herself. You can't love someone else without loving yourself first, and you can't take care of someone else if you haven't taken care of yourself first.
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Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 2:23 pm
yeah I know but she refuses conselling and help I asked her many times in the past to get help and she doesnt but you should see her parents relationship everyday they fight and scream and beat each other with kids in the house
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Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 4:14 pm
hey guys just an update we just made love for the first time after 2 weeks now and she said it was the best ever and that the feeling is back when we first started dating smile I guess all the little stuff Ive been doing means alot to her. smile thanks guys
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Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 5:52 pm
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