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AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLMENT FORM

Name: Marzena
Nicknames: Mars, Zena, etcetc. but she really prefers to be called her full name
Gender: Female
Age: 14

Faction/Race Monster- Selkie

Personality:
Even though she is a selkie, Marzena resents the stereotype lingering around her race that defines them as simply pretty faces who use their looks to seduce humans. She is determined to show that she can be fearful and has thus cut off her long lustrous hair. As her race has been mocked for being helpless once their skins are stolen, Marzena wears her skin as a pelt at all times and does not allow anyone (and is especially wary of Reapers) to touch it; even a slight accidental bump will cause her to whip around and glare at the offender.

Marzena secretly admires incubuses/succubuses for being able to not just seduce humans, but use them to their advantage instead of the other way around.

Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy? Marzena wishes to be feared instead of scoffed because of her race.
She is interested in Human Studies, Gym (Even though she might not possess the incredible physical strength other monsters have, she believes in being fit) and especially Professor Tailor's class. (Altering her appearance? yes please!)

Fear: Her power is that of appearance illusion, and for now, she is able to make the target seem as though their skin is peeling/melting away. Once she gets better at it, she may even be able to create the feeling of pain while this happens, increasing the target's belief that this is real. As she advances, she may also master the ability to branch out into different appearance illusions.

((Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotten or ignored or forgetting.
The fear stems from the legend of selkies being forced to stay on land when their skin is stolen and having go confront the fear that their world might be forgetting them or that they may be forgetting their true roots. Marzena wants to use this fear against others instead experiencing it herself.))

Minor ability:
-Charm: A passive aura which affects humans much more effectively than it does the residents of Halloween Town.
-Seal form: Even though Marzena is always seen with her seal skin, no one has seen her shape shift into a seal, even when she swims in the saltwater pool. While many surmise that it's because she wants to be more dependent (and that a seal form isn't much help in scaring people anyway), the truth is it is the result of a curse that has hindered her from taking her seal form. Before enrollment, Marzena had secretly approached a witch to place a curse upon her.

Physical Description:
Eye Colour: Ocean blue
Hair Colour/Style: Originally had long blonde tresses, but Marzena has cropped it to a short bob style and dyed it a dark blue (so dark that it looks black at times) instead.
Skin Colour: Extremely pale, creamy white skin
Clothing Style/Colours: Black, grey and dirty white with furs; Marzena likes a high fur collar and with her seal skin tied around her waist as a belt.
Extra: No mutations. Marzena wishes.
References: Spotted seal

getting this

I LOVE you for doing a Selkie -- they're probably one of my favorite mythical creatures <33 I also really like how you incorporated her difficulties in and had her adapt to them, like cutting her hair and going to school in hopes of being scary, despite how adorable she probably is, both in seal form and human form <3

I am a little curious as to why she asked a witch to place a curse on her though :3 That'd be an interesting thing to see through rp! *DO WANT*

First off: EEEEEEE SELKIE <3 <3 <3 Do want, much love!

But as for actual crit....

What's on the paper, at this point, all seems good. No details look misplaced, the logic is solid behind pretty much everything in there. I think, however, that the character might be lacking some extra oomph - that while she's solid and, for all intents and purposes, well-developed, there's still something more that I'm waiting to see. So the most that I can do is to try and coax more out of what's already there, and hope that helps to build a more complex and enthralling character.

To begin with, let's look at the witch's curse. Specifically, what's the price for it? This is a huge point of plot potential for your character, and unless there's something you want to keep under wraps, I think could use more attention. What has Mars had to give up, in order to be free of her seal form (at least for the duration of school)? Does she owe the witch a service, or is the debt already paid - and if so, by what?

In her free time, what does Mars like to do? We know that she goes swimming, but unless she was the equivalent of a land-bound jogger, that's probably not enough. When she was still your average Selkie in the water, how did she busy herself? Is it something that she still does now, or is it impossible to do at the school? Is there some piece of it she might have brought with her?

How does Mars get along with people in a positive manner? What sort of person does it take to become her friend, and what do they get in return? Is she loyal, protective? Secretly sweet and doting, as long as they respect her privacy? What about authority - does she behave well around her teachers, or does she have a rebellious streak?

I think that there's a lot of this character I haven't quite glimpsed yet, and I'm hopeful that some of these questions might bring up more detail and create a fuller picture of her for us to see. :> Hope it helps!