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 Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:39 am
Fyja'd been distracted more than usual lately, and even the cubs had begun to notice. He did his job well enough still, but it was as if something was ever on his mind. Even he seemed unsure though, when asked, he'd simply mention feeling like he'd forgotten something important, and needed to remember it.
Today one of the cubs had decided that this JUST wouldn't do, and while he sat, lost in a revere despite being swarmed, had clambered up on top of his head and repeatedly stuck her little paws in his eyes. "Haha, alright then, alright...You want a ride, little one?" He stirred and smiled up at the little girl. He really should be minding them better. That was his job after all. He stood and walked in a slow circle with her balanced on his head, to her delight. That done, he set her down...and scooped up the next. It seemed a line had formed while he'd been caught up with her.
"Goodness..." He half-whispered to himself. "They are good at distracting...but I felt like it was on the tip of my tongue just then. Hmm.."
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:01 am
It was growing close to time for her shift with the little ones. She paused to rub a paw against one eye as she headed to the minding glade. She hadn't been sleeping well at all of late. Every morning she woke tired and limp, as if she'd spent her nights prowling and searching for something in the depths of the darktime. She'd done everything she could think of to soothe herself, but nothing had worked.
She herself was feeling less depressed than before. Meeting the wandering lioness had made quite an impact on her. She felt less alone in the world, knowing she had a real, true friend somewhere out in the big wide world, even if they never met again. It was a subtle solace that had brought some peace to her waking mind. So this restlessness as she slept made little sense.
Frowning unbeautifully as she puzzled over it, she stepped into the clearing where the cubs usually were tended. The sudden brightness as the sun broke momentarily through the mist, combined with her distracted thoughts, blinded her completely for a few moments. Squinting and not looking at her pathway, she walked directly into the male carrying a cub on his head. It wasn't hard enough to jar the young one from its perch, really nothing more than a glancing bounce. She gave a gasp and a stumbling apology, still unable to see. Quickly she scurried to the side and turned her back to the male and the sun, blinking rapidly to try and remove the spots flaoting between her and the real world. Ow, that sun was bright today!
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 8:34 am
The familiarity of the scene was nearly too much for Feidhlim, but he managed to catch both the cub and his senses before either fell away at the bump. This lioness, this situation...it was almost EXACTLY like his dream. Of course, before, she'd been chasing a cub, and he'd not been holding one...but still. Unbidden, he felt his heart beat faster. He'd known it was just a dream, but...she was real! And the feelings...should he be having such feelings, when it had only been a dream? He instantly felt ashamed; he shooed the cub back to play with the others so he could help the lioness up and apologize. For bumping her, and perhaps more, though not out loud.
"My lady...are you alright?" He nudged her, offering his side for her to lean on to rise. She seemed dazed, as if by the light. A bit of worry flared within him. Was she alright? "Miss...?" It occurred to him that he didn't know her name. In the dream she hadn't said. She still seemed dazed though, and he urged her to rise and step into the shade, away from the blinding sun.
Perhaps a drink...while she recovered he slipped away, plucking a curved leaf from a tree and dipping it into one of the many nearby streams. Water might help clear her head. Had he really bumped her that hard? The thought nearly tore his heart in two. What if she'd been hurt?
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 9:13 am
Before she could react to being called "my lady" by the male, he was shooing her into the shade and fussing over her. Nearly more stunned by this treatment than by the sunlight, she blinked more and stared at him in shock. What was all this? Completely floored, she didn't manage to find her voice before he slipped away.
This gave her time to catch her breath and try to rearrange her scrambled brains. What was that all about? She glanced about herself cautiously. He wasn't in sight, but she thought she could hear him nearby, his movements soft under all the noise of the cubbies. More cautiously this time she stepped back into the sun, once more blinking the dazzle away. This time, however, she did not tread on anyone nor bump into anyone.
She smiled and swatted a paw gently at a little male zooming by, making grunting noises she supposed might be water buffalo or perhaps hippo sounds. She shuddered her pelt at the thought of a hippo. Dangerous creatures, those, and deadly to any beast who angered them. Relaxing slightly into her normal role, though still wondering about that male, she settled down into reclining position, her eyes following the scampering youngsters.
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 10:51 am
He made haste back with the leaf full of water, struggling not to let it drip or spill...he could only carry so much, despite the leaf's size. Hopefully it would do to soothe her somewhat. He slipped around a shrub to see her sitting, playing with the cubs, looking as radiant as the morning dew herself...he shook his head. He cleared his throat for her attention and set the leaf down, fending off a few cubs with gentle nudges. "My lady...?" She was up, which meant she was alright. He worried a bit, but was calmed by the smile she'd given the cubs. Another minder? That would make sense...she'd chased the cub in his dream.
"I brought you a drink...if you aren't feeling well, perhaps it will help?" He scooped up one of the cubs that threatened to clamber over the precious 'dish' of water and set her down a few feet away, nuzzling and tickling her little tummy to bubbly laughter. He glanced again at the female, shrugging and motioning to the water. 'Quickly, or the little ones will have it' his eyes seemed to say.
Once the cub seemed bored with him and had gone off to torment a possible sibling, he sighed and returned to watching the female. "You are a minder as well? I have not seen you before..." He seemed to hesitate a moment. "At least, not around here. Praytell, what is your name? I...I am Feidhlim." He dipped in a sort of bow. "Forgive my rudeness. The cubs are quite distracting...but you would know that, yes?"
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 11:10 am
Why, here was that male again! And calling her lady again! She blinked dumbly at him for several moments. "W-wh-what makes you think," she began in a stuttering whisper, "th-that I don't f-feel well?" She was truly flummoxed. Here he came, out of the blue, treating her like royalty. Why, he'd even brought her a leaf with water in it! Stunned and embarassed, her face became extra warm in the sun's warm morning glow. At his urging she bent her head and delicately sucked a sip from the leaf, then licked what moisture was left. It wasn't much, but it wasn't the water itself that was so astonishing. It was that this water had been brought specifically for her! By a stranger no less!
Not exactly a stranger, she supposed. He was one of the pride, that much was clear. And a minder! So what was he doing, waiting on her paw and claw? She sucked in a breath and held it, trying to work out what to do, what to say, how to react. This was wholly unknown territory to the shy lioness. Unable to hold her breath for long, she was forced to let it whoosh out, and used that imputus to say softly and quickly, "I'm Shani, and yes, I"m a minder." She ducked her head then and averted her eyes, at a complete loss. Absently she righted a cub that tumbled by, turning it from landing on its head to its paws instead. She gave it a light pat on the haunches and sent it on to play again before risking a shy look at Feid, sideways and through her lashes.
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 11:45 am
He felt immediately bad that she seemed offended by his concern. Did she think he thought she was weak? It was nothing of the sort! He dipped his head in a gesture of apology. "Forgive me. You simply seemed...a bit dazed. I was concerned I'd run into you with more force than I'd recalled. I did not mean to, Shani." He'd caught her name and tried it out--the sound was like music in his ears, to say it was like breathing the sweetest air. Oh, what'd happened to him? It was all because of that silly dream! She seemed embarrassed and that only further embarrassed him.
He sat in silence a moment, automatically nudging or waggling his paws for any bored cub that came by. Even hugs were given out to those seeking them, but for all the love they conveyed, he was certainly distracted. He too was busy casting sideways glances at Shani. This, he knew, was real life. Not a dream. Of course that made him nervous; in a dream no consequences came from mistakes! But here...he wanted nothing more than to make the very best impression on this lioness. It seemed so important that she like him, even having just met him.
His heard was pounding inside him (surely she could hear it) when he realized she was looking back at him. He refused to blush, and refused to look away. She was so shy...one of them had to be forward, right? "If you'd like, my lady...I could get you another drink? If you are still thirsty..."
To his shame, and later amusement, one of the cubs had stopped his frolicking to watch the adults acting SO weird. Something clicked in the little fuzzball's mind and he crowed like a roster with delight. "Uncle Feeeeid! You like her, you like her!" He teased, waggling his little rump in the air. "Yooooou like a giiiirl, yoooou like a giiiiiirl!" Certainly blushing now, Feid shooed the cub away, shushing him and praying suddenly that this really WAS all a dream. Was he really THAT obvious??
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 1:13 pm
He was... concerned?! Her eyes flew wide and immediately bored into the ground in front of her paws. No male had talked to her this way before! Well, she had to amend, one had actually. But he had been a passing leopard on a day when her heart had been too sad to accept his kindness. Maybe... maybe that's all this was? Kindness? She peeked at him again while swooping a cub with particularly sharp teeth off her tail. She caught him looking back and blushed, looking immediately away again.
His request left her wordless, her tongue feeling as if it indeed did need water to loosen it. Her breath caught again, and she glanced frantically around as if seeking the peroper answer among the cubs that played all about them.
She was saved from answering, if you could all it saved, by the sudden outburst of sing-song teasing by one of the slightly older cubs. At first she didn't catch on to what he was saying, though clearly it was directed at Feid. But as the cub's voice grew louder and more playful, the words sank in. Her eyes went wide again and darted to see the male... blushing?! Her heart quickened within her in a new surge of feeling, one long forgotten. Why... why, if he was blushing at being teased about talking to her... that meant... that meant he wasn't just being kind!
With a huge surge it felt as if her heart had taken a dive off a cliff and fallen to sit uncomfortably deep in her belly. She gulped a sudden knot in her throat and stared at him. Too overcome to realize she was speaking alond, she asked, "But why? Why me?" Too flabbergasted and fighting against rising happiness, she couldn't bring herself to smile just yet. She couldn't accept what logic told her. A male... liked her?
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 1:40 pm
Oh, oh no...he didn't shush the cub in time, and she'd heard! She didn't know they'd met before, she think he was some strange lion who was in love with her, but didn't even know her name! What...what if she never spoke to him again? He whispered a swift prayer for strength to accept events if they went that way. He glanced her way, abashed...she was staring at him! Oh no! He bore up under her stare, awaiting her judgement...
Her question was nothing like he'd expected. Why? Shy just wanted to know why. As if she was someone no one else would want, an untouchable, someone outcast and left behind. How could she think such things? Despite his own turmoil, he felt his heart nearly split in two. Had no one ever told her they loved her?
He sighed deeply and nodded affirmation. He did like her. "Because...because you are beautiful. And I...I..." He stumbled. How could he explain? He felt as if he knew her already, but she didn't recall knowing him...he didn't want to scare her. "Your smile is like the sun's rays...warm, soft." He blushed, staring at his toes. Out of the dream world, he was much less capable of this sort of thing. "Why not you, Shani? Why not?"
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 2:03 pm
She continued to stare at him as he began talking. The more he said, the more her mouth dropped open. Her breath stolen away, her mind in shambles. What... what was he saying? Her.. smile? Soft? Warm? Beautiful? She swayed on her feet, numbed by utter disbelief and shock. This couldn't be real. It couldn't! It was a dream! It had to be. It had to be!
Her lungs, tired of the lack of oxygen, shuddered her body back into motion again. She gasped in lungfuls of air, her heart hammered double time, and she steadied on her paws. As he asked her heartfeltly, almost pleadingly, why not?... another surge of emotion overtook her. This time, her eyes filled, brimmed over, then streamed with tears. Cubs completely forgotten, a sob quivered her from within. "Because! This doesn't happen to me. It's always a dream to be woken up from, or a cruel joke, or just me dreaming the day away!" she cried, though softly. Lost in her emotional turmoil, her nervous stutter melted away. "Because noone notices me. I'm just a Minder, a watcher of other people's cubs!" The anguish that poured out in those last words revealed much of her heartache, though she was unaware. "I'm nobody, that's why not!"
And with those unhappy words, she turned and fled. She ran from the hope, ran from the seeming sincerity, ran from all the things she was convinced she could never, ever have. She plunged blindly through the foliage, providentially avoiding trampling any of the cubs as she ran.
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 8:52 am
For a moment he feared she hadn't heard him, that whatever had ailed her before had struck her again, harder. She seemed faint, woozy and wobbling...her gasp frightened him. He'd finally had out with it and she was having some...some kind of attack? He lifted a paw to steady her but froze at the sight of tears. Tears?
He ached to comfort her as she sobbed to him. To tell her this was no dream, that she didn't have to be alone...even if they were not meant to be, he would surely remain a friend, faithful and true. It seemed as if she had no one, anywhere; the thought tore his heart to pieces. Why when she was so sweet and kind did she have no one?
Mind made up, he moved to wipe a tear from her cheek...and she turned and fled. He watched he run for a moment, unsure, then cast a frantic look to one of the other adults that had been respectfully hiding out of sight until then. An agreement passed between them and the other stepped up towards the cubs. Feidhlim bolted. Shani's trail was easy to follow, her distress apparent. He chided himself for not taking it slower, being more gentle with her. Obviously she was not used to attention...He crashed through bushes behind her, gaining ground. He had to catch her, to stop her. "Shani..Shani!" He was nearly abreast with her now, and he refused to slow unless she did. "Please, Shani, forgive me...I didn't mean to upset you. To see you cry...it's my fault. But I had to say those things. Shani...you're someone! You're someone to me! This isn't a dream, not this time!" For both of them, now, it was real.
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 9:35 am
She lacked the honed body of a warrior or hunter. Soft and not used to physical strain, it wasn't long before her lungs burned. It was hard to breathe past the lump in her throat, and she couldn't see through her tears. She heard someone following her but didn't care. She splashed across a shallow trickle of a stream, plunged up the other bank, and became aware of Feid beside her, running and calling to her.
With a near yelp cross with a sob, she lurched the other direction, but at the wrong time. Her paws became tangled in underbrush, and she went tumbling blindly. She landed in a heap at the bottom of a small gully, an absolute mess of tears, twigs, leaves, and fur. Unwilling to see if he'd followed her tumble, she slumped where she was, wrapped both paws across her face, and sobbed. Somehow it all felt like a cruel trick. It simply could not be real, and this lack of reality broke her heart.
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 6:35 pm
Feid saw Shani balk, tangle, and go down--a pained cry tore from his lips. He skidded in the mud and stumbled. Ignoring his stained fur he crawled to her side. He assessed her silently, heartbroken by her tears. How could he show her this, he, was real? He just wanted to hold her and soothe her and dry her tears...and so he did.
He would make her see. His muddied form surrounded her, one paw over her back, his head pressed to hers. Eyes never leaving her, he shifted one paw and then the other from her face. Ever so gently he nosed at her tear-stained cheeks, licking one and trying to get her to look at him.
"Shani, Shani...don't you see? You feel hurt right now, in pain...but in dreams nothing can hurt you. If this was a dream you would only feel joy...This is real Shani. And I do love you. Please...look at me, look, see...I only want to make you happy. No more sorrow, no hurt, just...just let me love you. Let me make you happy. Let me make your life better than your dreams."
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 6:50 pm
It was all just too much. At the urgent but gentle touches, she turned her head against him and bawled her heart out. All the lonely days, the times of wandering, of doubting herself, of feeling like she didn't belong... it all came pouring out against his soft, sweet-smelling fur. Her body was wracked by sobs, but she only snuggled tighter to him, as if to let him shield her from all that had passed her by. She curled herself against him, like a cub against its mother, or like a lover to her beloved. The storm of tears and despair lasted much longer than either could know, but it was as if time were suspended. They merely were. All curled together in a tangle of brush, with the world outside cut off from them. And for once in her adult life, someone comforted her, held her, and kissed away her tears.
As the sobs slowly faded away, taking the lump in her throat with them, her breathing slowed to a steadier pace. She remained snuggled up tight against him, not making any move to distance herself even the slightest bit. She took the time to mull over his words, which he'd spoken what seemed like ages ago now. He was right, of course. Dreams weren't muddy and painful. Either they were the lovely kind, like his strong leg wrapped around her, or they were unhappy, like the stings of thorns she'd tumbled through on her way down.
Her eyes were uncomfortably sore after her cry, and her mouth was cottony. This brought to mind him offering her sips of water from a leaf, and it made her smile, though it was shaky. Heaving a deep breath, she snuggled up under his chin and gave a soft, soft purr. It was such a gentle sound, it was more likely felt than heard. It was a first offering, her tentative attempt to tell him how she felt, how he was making her feel now. She didn't dare speak. Not yet. There was still a lingering fear that it was a dream, but the more time passed, the warmer her hide became where it touched his, the less she worried about that possibiility. Instead, she focused on savoring it, soaking in his affection like a sponge. Just in case it went away? Maybe. But also just in case it was for forever.
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