Burning The Mask

i didnt think i was ever happy with you,
every smile you saw,
every grin i put on,
it was a lie,
and you believed it,
not bothering to look behind my mask.
it was a show,
everyday,
every repepetive movement,
it was my act,
i was in control,
of my emotions,
and of all of yours.
My pain never ceased,
the mask numbed it but it ws always there,
burning me.
all of your emotions were my escape,
i used them as my own,
each one another step on the ladder,
towards my freedom.
But suddenly you disappeared.
i was trapped,
slipping back down the ladder like a slide,
the pain worsened,
growing more intense,
like a burning fire.
This was when i realised,
even if i didnt feel i was happy
knowing you were made me smile,
you numbed my pain,
not the mask i wore,
so i await for your return,
so i can show you the real me,
and watch the fire turn to ash,
watch my pain disappear
as if you were the water needed to quench it,
and finally,finally, be free.

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