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✗Captain's log Day 249✗
I don't know why I call it that; suppose I've gone a little mad with this place. I'm still not really sure where 'here' is or how to get home. Or where 'home' is...or if it even IS. I can't even be sure I'm me, anymore...or if there even was me.
I thought for a long time I was dreaming. If I couldn't wake up maybe I was in a coma. Maybe I'd gotten in a terrible accident and forgotten. But now I know this place to be true.
This can't be making much sense, to anyone still logical. I guess I should start from the beginning.
It all started with a book.
✗Captain's log Day 249✗
I don't know why I call it that; suppose I've gone a little mad with this place. I'm still not really sure where 'here' is or how to get home. Or where 'home' is...or if it even IS. I can't even be sure I'm me, anymore...or if there even was me.
I thought for a long time I was dreaming. If I couldn't wake up maybe I was in a coma. Maybe I'd gotten in a terrible accident and forgotten. But now I know this place to be true.
This can't be making much sense, to anyone still logical. I guess I should start from the beginning.
It all started with a book.
P A N D O R U M
◤DECEMBER◢
▶Friday
I'vebeen waiting at the Library to meet up with Ren. It's just so like him to always be late everywhere he goes. I decided to just wander the aisles and look through the titles.
Midway down one of the back aisles my foot hit something. I looked down, and was not surprised at all to see it was a book. I checked my watch, then with a sigh I keeled down to pick the book up. I just happen to glance up to a blank spot between books and see a child watching me (I assume it was a child, for there were two eyes no higher than the third shelf). Almost immediately upon noticing the child it took off, so I stood up to follow. When I rounded the corner I saw it was a girl, I followed her. I almost caught up with her before the end of the last aisle before she bolted around the corner and went left. I ran after her, but was utterly confused to find nothing when I turned the corner. I stood there for a moment glancing around to find if there was anywhere she could have went. Nothing. Just the back wall of books and another long stretch of aisle. Even if she were as fast as a cheetah there's no way she could have covered the distance that quickly. It was as if she simply....disappeared.
I heard a strange scratching, then it turned into more of a ticking; I looked down at my watch ...I stuck it to my ear. Just then a book jumped off the shelf on the back wall, as if it had been pushed from the other side....only, there was nothing on the other side but a wall. I kneeled down to pick up the book; it was inconspicuous enough, just a plain leather book with the word "PAN.DO.RUM" in gold-leafing. There was no author, nothing else. Before I could stand back up I heard ...my name. Just a whisper. I looked at the space where the book fell from and saw what appeared to be a tiny door. I moved close, squinting to get a better look, when I heard a loud giggle and saw something move quickly behind the books; it startled me so much I jumped backward bumping into a lady's legs. I immediately stood up and offered many apologies. She just looked down on me like I was a nut. I kept my head down until she brushed past me; before I could go back to what I was doing my phone rang.
".....Hello ?" I answered in a hushed voice.
"Man, where are you ?!" I sighed, it was Ren "I've been waiting up here for twenty minutes --" Lie. Blatant lie. "I looked around for a while"--also a lie. "I can't find you, c'mon, we're going to be late !" If we were to be late, the blame would all be on Ren.
"Chill out, we'll be fine... You do--" Mid-eyeroll Ren came around the corner.
"Come on man ! It's going to start soon !"
"But I--" He cut me off waving the concert flyer around between us.
"Let's go !" Rather than trying to explain to him what had just happened, and risk sounding as crazy as I felt about now, I glanced back at the bookshelf one last time and we made out way up to the building entrance. I nearly walked out of the Library with the book under my arm, before I was stopped by a librarian.
I glanced at Ren, who of course was annoyed. I couldn't deny I was a little intrigued. I handed the book over the desk and laid down my library card.
Sunday◁
I had completely forgotten about the book. After coming home from work and saying hello to my family, I went upstairs to my room. I began going through my schoolbag to see what homework I had put off. The book toppled out of the bad and onto my bed. I set my bag aside and picked up the book; It was still early enough, I had no plans, and tomorrow free, I figured now was as good a time as any to start a book.I kicked off my shoes and retired to my bed, leaned back and reached onto the night stand for my reading glasses. I contemplated all the interesting possibilities the book could be about....only when I opened the book the title page said "TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN..." and nothing else. I turned the page, blank... the next, completely blank, I flipped a few pages back. White...I quickly flipped through the entire thing and found nothing. With an annoyed sigh I tossed the book next to me and threw my head back. How irritating, now I'd never know what kind of story it was. No author, date or even publisher was given anywhere on it.
After a minute of utter disappointment I sat up and glanced over at the book. It had landed open about halfway through it and I notice something, I sat up, upon inspecting it it turned out to be nothing more than a curious tear.
Who even heard of a blank book ?
In frustration I put the whole thing out of mind for some time.
I had completely forgotten about the book. After coming home from work and saying hello to my family, I went upstairs to my room. I began going through my schoolbag to see what homework I had put off. The book toppled out of the bad and onto my bed. I set my bag aside and picked up the book; It was still early enough, I had no plans, and tomorrow free, I figured now was as good a time as any to start a book.I kicked off my shoes and retired to my bed, leaned back and reached onto the night stand for my reading glasses. I contemplated all the interesting possibilities the book could be about....only when I opened the book the title page said "TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN..." and nothing else. I turned the page, blank... the next, completely blank, I flipped a few pages back. White...I quickly flipped through the entire thing and found nothing. With an annoyed sigh I tossed the book next to me and threw my head back. How irritating, now I'd never know what kind of story it was. No author, date or even publisher was given anywhere on it.
After a minute of utter disappointment I sat up and glanced over at the book. It had landed open about halfway through it and I notice something, I sat up, upon inspecting it it turned out to be nothing more than a curious tear.
Who even heard of a blank book ?
In frustration I put the whole thing out of mind for some time.
▷Tuesday
A week or so had passed, Ren was visiting, which was a fairly common occurrence. He was like a third child to my parents. We had a meal with my family and were in my room studying for the past couple hours. "Pandorum ? What's this ?"
"Hmn ?" I replied and glanced over at him, blinking. "Oh, it's that stupid book I checked out when we met up at the library." I moved over to the desk and picked up the book.
"What's it about ?"
"Ha...." He raised his eyebrow, as if to ask what was so damn funny...so I continued. "It's blank."
"Whaaaat ?" Now he really looked confused. "No way."
"No seriously,....look.." I opened the book and presented him with the blank pages. "Nothing but paper."
After a long pause he asked "Do you think I could borrow it ?"
"Yeah sure go ahead." What good was a book with no words, to me, anyway ?
"There's a tear...." I glanced over at the book coincidentally it was opened to the exact page with the hole in it again...Only I swear the tear wasn't so big before.
"Hey wait let me s--"
Ren snapped the book shut and popped out of the chair. "No way, You said I could borrow it !" He flashed me a cheesy grin and stuffed the book in his bag, before slinging the bag over his shoulder. "I'm out though, man; gotta get some rest before the big exam~" he made his way to the door and waved with his cheesy grin again. "ah....yeah, ....Good night, Ren."
"Heee. See you tomorrow !"
Friday◀
Tomorrow came, and the exam with it....only tomorrow didn't bring Ren. Nor did the day after tomorrow. I came home from school to my mother holding the phone out for me. "It's Ren's mother..." my heart dropped, I had thought until now that he was just sick...but that look on my mother's face made me instantly nauseous. I took the phone.
She asked me if I knew where he was. He had returned the other night from studying and was missing by the morning.
"Nobody knows him better than you do. We just thought maybe he snuck off to do something and he'd tell you. He left his cell phone, shoes, wallet... everything behind.."
I had ...no clue where he had gone. She went on to explain that they had filed a missing person's report as well, but the cops would just treat it like another runaway case. She wanted to know if he'd ever said he'd been unhappy at home.
He wasn't. Well, not any more unhappy than any kid was living with their parents. But, he'd never talked about running away....he hadn't even mentioned doing anything -that- night except going home and sleeping. And I couldn't imagine him spending hours studying, just to not show up for the test. The whole thing was extremely unsettling.
But, all we could do was search...and wait.
Tomorrow came, and the exam with it....only tomorrow didn't bring Ren. Nor did the day after tomorrow. I came home from school to my mother holding the phone out for me. "It's Ren's mother..." my heart dropped, I had thought until now that he was just sick...but that look on my mother's face made me instantly nauseous. I took the phone.
She asked me if I knew where he was. He had returned the other night from studying and was missing by the morning.
"Nobody knows him better than you do. We just thought maybe he snuck off to do something and he'd tell you. He left his cell phone, shoes, wallet... everything behind.."
I had ...no clue where he had gone. She went on to explain that they had filed a missing person's report as well, but the cops would just treat it like another runaway case. She wanted to know if he'd ever said he'd been unhappy at home.
He wasn't. Well, not any more unhappy than any kid was living with their parents. But, he'd never talked about running away....he hadn't even mentioned doing anything -that- night except going home and sleeping. And I couldn't imagine him spending hours studying, just to not show up for the test. The whole thing was extremely unsettling.
But, all we could do was search...and wait.
And wait we did.
Days past without news or lead.
Weeks past...
◣JANUARY◥
◤FEBRUARY◢
◣MARCH◥
◤FEBRUARY◢
◣MARCH◥
▶Monday
Most of us lost hope in ever finding our friend. I see his face in every person on the street. I didn't want to give up. I decided to pay his house a visit. It was like a wake, I felt like I had just attended my best friends funeral. His mother hugged me tightly as soon as I came in and invited me to look around his room if I wanted. It was as if they were already passing him off as dead. It made me cold.
I entered his room and closed the door behind me. I held my breath and closed my eyes tight. I gave myself a moment before turning the light on and opening my eyes. I advanced into the room. His parents hadn't touched a single thing. there was still a pile of socks in the corner and his bed was unmade. It felt so alien. I took a spot at the foot of his bed. I swallowed a lump in my throat and began to talk to my friend as if he was there.
When I felt I had said enough for the day I stood up, before turning back to the door I noticed a book open on his desk. A blank book with a hole in it. Slowly, I walked over to the desk and reached out for the book. A knock at the door made me jump and I looked over my shoulder to see his mother open the door.
"I haven't had the heart to read through his journal....did you ?" she must have been talking about the book.
"Actually...this is a book I let him borrow."
"Oh......well, Ren did love books." I winced. How could anyone talk about him in a past-tense like that ?
"Yeah...well....I rented it from the library...I'm sure I've got some massive late fees now...." I paused and closed the book. "Would you mind if I took it ?"
"No ! Go right on ahead, Adin."
◤APRIL◢
Time continued to pass and I hadn't brought myself to return the book.
I tried to spend most of my time away from my house, keeping busy, trying to keep my mind off things. Recently I have been experiencing things I can't even begin to explain.
▶Monday
I'm home from school. I should already be at work, but I got caught up on a late bus. After getting out of the shower, I go straight to my room and change into my work clothes. I hear quiet chattering and look up from the laces I'm tying, I hear a shush and the talking cease. I glance at the door, it's closed...the window, closed. I stand up and move closed to where I last thought I heard the sounds coming from, another whisper followed by another hush..only they're louder now...and as if on cue my phone rings, I jump no less than a foot in the air. It's my boss yelling and threatening to fire me. I run out the door to work, and ignore the event all together.
▷Wednesday
I'm dreaming of a beautiful garden. It's full of life. The grass is a strange, vibrant blue and there are all different flowers and colors everywhere. There's a pale yellow lake, a waterfall, wildlife; truly the perfect landscape, if not a bit strange. I look to my left and Ren is smiling at me. I feel warm. He reaches up into a tree and picks a fruit, extending it to me as a gift...but when I look down at his hands they're bloody and the 'fruit' is nothing more than a fetus, moving.
I jump awake, gasping for air and tangled in my sheets. The room smells like dead roses. I sigh deeply, my lids are heavy and I fall asleep again.
▶Thursday
I wake up, or at least I think I'm awake. I can't open my eyes. Something heavy is on my chest and I can't breathe, but as hard as I try I just can't open my eyes, nor can I move my body. It's as if everything is disconnected from my mind, or just ignoring it's commands...My body isn't numb because I can feel this immense pressure....it's just unresponsive. I want to cry out, call someone into my room but I can't. Just as I think I can't take it any longer it's all over. My chest is relieved of the pressure, I can see, speak and move again. I jump out of bed, grab my pillow and spend the rest of the night on the couch down stairs.
▷Sunday
I haven't slept in my room since Thursday. I just go in there to grab things and leave. Today it's my mp3 player and headphones. I'm going out.
I'm waiting on a subway platform, listening to my music. Something catches my eyes and I turn to look toward the tunnel. There something stumbling around in there, but I can hardly make it out. I continue to watch as it approaches the opening.......... It looks human...only its a shadow...or a fog...almost static. Maybe my eyes are bad. It's moving like a human, perhaps it's just too far away ? The subway is coming and the person isn't moving off the tracks. I yell for him(I think it's a him, it's very large) to move. But he doesn't. Clarity comes when the subway smashes into him and nothing happens. The static, the shadow, the ...nothing...there is nothing except people staring at me like I've lost my mind.
And I'm starting to think the same.
▶Saturday
I can't sleep anymore. I've lost my appetite. I don't understand what's going on with me. Perhaps losing my friend has caused more stress and damage than I thought ? I come home from work and kick my shoes off at the door. I head up the stairs to my room. Something darts down the stairs under my feet, when I turn to look, I'm no longer surprised to find nothing there. Wearily, I continue up to my room. I close the door behind me and begin to change out of my work clothes when I hear someone whisper my name. I tug my shirt over my head, look up and hear a giggle. This is just another uncommon thing that is becoming quite common. I hear my name again, and my eyes are drawn to the book I have left sit on my desk since I picked it up from my friends house.
Nothing has gone right since finding it.
And yet, I've still not returned it.
I move forward to the book and look down at it. I'm still perplexed by it. I reach out and run my fingers over it's golden title. The whispers are now unintelligible. I flip the book open. It doesn't surprise me when the pages automatically fall open to that little tear in the page.
Only it's no longer a little tear. It's bigger than the last time. I run my hand over the page opposite. I hear something strange....like water struggling to pass through rusting pipes. I can't help my curiosity...and start picking at this 'little tear'. The noise becomes louder. I pick more and more, louder and louder. It feels like I'm digging a hole in the earth, this curious hole is hardly paper-thin. Suddenly the noise becomes so loud it's debilitating. I cover my ears and I feel a warm liquid. It must be blood.. I'm screaming, this screech is so painful. I drop to my knees. My world goes black.
