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"I think it was Eltimioth--her rider's the one that Searched me out of Eron Hold," Akaya said hesitantly. She was fairly certain she recognized the green's voice--she'd committed Eltimioth's tone to memory (as she had Tereth and any other dragon she'd cornered in her candidacy) and no two dragons sounded exactly alike to someone used to listening for tonal differences. "And it sounded like mostly browns, by the deeper tones. I've not heard a bronze but it's rarer for them to get involved much outside of queen flights, isn't it?" She frowned suddenly. "I was fairly certain rider E'lai preferred women." She wasn't an expert at pigeonholing sexualities, but she had been fair sure on his. She didn't think there were any female brownriders at Trine, and wouldn't they prefer women anyway? It was enough to make one dizzy, trying to sort it all out. Of course, when one had grown up in the weyr, it must seem far more commonplace...as indeed it seemed to G'brel.

G'brel's remarks did not help Akaya one bit with her puzzlement--so preference didn't matter? But wouldn't that... No, that couldn't be right...

"More likely?" Akaya echoed, still confused--and finding herself not liking the answers logic were leading her to. "But...anyone who participates might win. And then we'd..." The Holdborn girl didn't necessarily consider herself a prude (though, if she was being compared to weyr standards...) but she still couldn't quite bring herself to finish the thought. And just how was she supposed to set about this choosing anyway? Like browsing at a Gather stall?

Such a brisk, casual approach left the girl dumbfounded. What happened to the stories of great romance, weyrmates who lasted long as any Hold-married couple?

Having the facts stated plainly to her did not help at all, as Lifth astutely noted to his rider. The idea that she was going to just go along with whomever's dragon managed to fly Sleeth--and she remembered, in a moment of terrified clarity, that greens rose far more regularly than queens did. It would happen frequently. And somehow she'd managed to not think much on the subject until just now.

Akayamine?! The girl's distress had wakened even the stuffed, drowsy green who'd been half-snoozing, and Sleeth got up on her hind legs to perch on Akaya's knees. She butted her head against Akaya's shoulder, trying to physically bring her out of the shock. Akaya's hands flew to her dragon's head and neck, patting the green's hide reassuringly.

She would never regret Impressing, was her single determined thought, and she found herself able to breathe once again. No matter how strange, how...distasteful parts of weyrlife might be, it paled in comparison to the benefit of Sleeth's company, of that she was sure. She took one deep breath, then another, summoning the semblance of a smile to her lips to reassure her roommate. "I think so." It wasn't very convincing.

Akaya privately suspected any attempts to communicate clearly on this matter between her and G'brel were doomed to failure, if only because their backgrounds were so very different. Still, she was making an effort, so Akaya could do the same in return...

"That's not terribly reassuring when yo--I--" Akaya paused, and steeled herself. She was a Harper still at heart, and a Harper could communicate at the very least! "G'brel, I'm a virgin. I also did not have any immediate plans to change that fact, even before Impression. And I'm just now realizing that my plans don't matter."

Sleeth was as confused as her rider had been, back on all fours as she lay her head in Akaya's lap. Of course you matter! Why would you say that?

Shh, shh, it's got nothing to do with you and everything to do with me, she thought, stroking Sleeth's neck and trying to think calmly. This was exactly the sort of thing they were supposed to be avoiding, wasn't it? Agitating their partners.

Even the dragon didn't get it. Akaya sighed, and tried to remain impassive if only for Sleeth's sake. "Lifth, it's part of...my social conditioning, I suppose you could say. G'brel thinks differently because she was raised here, and she's used to such things, but... Outside the Weyr, things work differently. In the Hold, humans are supposed to be more...well, you find a partner and you marry them and that's that. I know the Weyr has weyrmates, and that's kind of similar but...well, there's always a bit of chance to it, isn't there?" She continued to pat Sleeth who'd begun to lightly croon something that sounded like a lullaby, perhaps one that Akaya had sung to her before.

"It really comes down to control, and choice. I'm not comfortable with the idea of having multiple partners, especially ones I can't really ever completely choose for myself," she said, trying to look at it as objectively as G'brel seemed to be able to. "I don't want my choice to be made for me, but it seems as if that's not relevant now." Certainly, she'd had some interest in the opposite sex before, but...well, it'd always come second to her craft, and she hadn't expected that to change for a long time. Just like she hadn't actually expected to Impress.

All will be well, Sleeth interjected, reassuring. Your choices will matter, I'm sure of it! And I won't do anything you don't want me to do.

You say that now, love, but your choices are stuck just as much as mine, Akaya thought sadly. But don't worry. I'll be all right, and you'll do fine. That was all they could do, really. There were a lot more important things in the grander scheme of things than Flights and all that; she'd make do through the unpleasant bits and revel in what she could. She hadn't found an equal match yet to the pleasure of singing with Sleeth, for instance.

"It's a bit more complicated than that, Lifth, but I appreciate the advice," Akaya said dryly. "I can't just...it's far too cold and calculating to just...look over our fellow weyrlings and be 'oh, I like that one'! I mean, I suppose there's a slim chance there might actually be one of them I do find attractive and they like me back but...now every time I look at a boy with a dragon, there will be that--that calculation to it." She shuddered. What ever happened to romance? "And I don't want to be looked at just as a possible roll in the hay either!" she added, crossing her arms. And she was worried about that now, at least a little.

Why would you be rolling in hay? Is it fun? Sleeth asked.

"It's a euphemism--you don't take it entirely literally, dear," Akaya said, definitely not wanting to explain the facts of life to a few-days-old dragon.

Akaya had to at least chuckle at G'brel's "mistake." "Yes, I get what you are saying, and you are probably right. Just...let me get all the panic out right now, and maybe I'll be able to deal with it better tomorrow." Meeting people would no doubt prove the difficult part, as she was always not particularly people-oriented at the best of times. Polite, yes, and she tried to be pleasant, but there were so many times to be distracted by... Like singing! Well, a dragonchoir was one way to meet people. And there had been that really lovely brown from the Hatching she'd wanted to meet... Maybe his rider would even be a decent person. There might be hope yet! "And I...will try. I'm not particularly good at making friends though, be they male or female," she admitted.

Mating? Sleeth asked, slipping her head off Akaya's lap and regarding Lifth with curiosity, as she addressed him alone. Clearly the subject distressed Hers, and she didn't want to make her unhappy again. Is that what all the fuss is about? There was a pause. Wait, is it a good thing or a bad thing? Do I have to do it?