How to Ruin a Good Man: Test Run

[Admiral Claudia Bull]

Error 404: Page Not Found. The farmiliar blank white screen blared some sort of static resistance that seemed new today. Eiji just pressed the back button on Internet Explorer and clicked on the link again. It still refused to work. Just static resistance, Eiji. It's just static resistance. There's always a way around it.

Smoking break. Out on the stone deck, three floors up. It would be a long fall, Eiji noted, peering over the edge as the breeze swept the cigarette smoke and his tie noth out over the edge as well. The tie came back. The cigarette smoke did not. But it wasn't like Eiji minded, some things were better off left alone.
Sun setting through office blinds. Fall-over cubicle walls resonating clean-up time echoes. Bill, who sat behind Eiji, turned over to peer at him from behind a thin glasses frame. Eiji ignored him. It was just static resistance. Bill turned away. It was the same as every day, why check? Bill exits.

Damn apartment keys won't work again. Fumbling around with the fake jingle keys. Dropped on carpet. Damnit. Really need to get inside now. Door opens, sheds sliver of light on dark room. Hang up coat. Take out a cigarette. Save it for dessert after cold soup. Fix TV. Still won't receive signal. More static resistance. Clock holds up time like Atlas holds up world. Radio plays nonsense. Static resistance wins for tonight. Cold shower. Air outside is warm. The rest of the city is lit up like a box of roman candles. Like a box of cigarettes...

Morning coffee. Tastes like bat vommitt, keys lost. More static resistance. Clothes smell like dead christmas cactus. TV still blaring nonsense. So is radio. The lady downstairs is dancing to some excercise freak. Silly girl. Been doing it for years and still fat.

Unlock motor bike chain. Cliing! Leave there. Go through traffic. Much waiting. Static resistance. Red Light. Green Light. Cut off. Cigarette butt dropped. Extinguished with brown shoe heel. Don't look at Mercedes driver. New intersection. Moving metal boxes dissipate.

Glass door open. Receptionist says hello. Nod, Eiji, nod back. She smiles. She thinks you're cute. Too bad. Little corner TV shows skipping bars. Boss says fix it. Different job for today. Coar on swivel chair, then get the TV. Must be fixed in time for Oprah. Nod, Eiji, nod back.

Storage closet. Screws lying around, juxtaposing various Bill's bobbleheads. Can be seen from doorway. Dog tag chain old lightbulb. Yank. TV guts all over. Error 404: Not Found. Put back together? Puzzling static resistance.
Lunch break for everyone else. Ceiling fan turns slowly above Eiji as he wanders. Idea. TV works. Static resistance gone. Strange Channel. Small child in tophat. No eyes. Remote won't work. Fix that next. Unplug little TV. Batteries? Receptionist has none. New static resistance.

Smoking break outside upbeat batteries store. How do they make a living off of just batteries? Man answers question with question: Where is my charger? Eiji wishes to ask for a charger as well, but has no need for one. Kid passes by with doctor sticker of happy child. Also has lollipop. Finally quiet, mother thinks as leads child away. Yes, Eiji knows. Her face says it all.

TV works properly. Hung in own corner. In time for Oprah. Walk away. Work over. Cute co-worker wants a drink. Think a little. It's a no. Engine roar back "home." Stand in doorway thinking blankly. Static resistance...in my mind.

Stay tuned for the madness to begin. whee  

[Admiral Claudia Bull]

"Welcome to trial, Mr. Eiji," a childish voice broadcasts across the dusty landscape. Eiji sits on the cracked ground before a big rock. A little girl in a grey plaid jumper stands before Eiji, extending a friendly hand to him.

"Come on, we'll be late!" she exclaimed. Eiji slowly reached his hand up, taking hers cautiously. The little girl started running, dragging Eiji with her. The scenery swept past in a blur. Suddenly Eiji was facedown on the checker-tiled floor of a small white room, the walls of which were entirely composed out of doors. At the front fo the room a little boy with grey hair covering his eyes and a large white tophat was perched queerly on the top of a tall judge's podium. He was grinning like an idot, swinging his legs so that his heels made a dull thud on the podium. On his left lay a gavel on it's side. The little girl next to Eiji folded her hands and sat down, smiling sweetly.

"I think we're ready to begin, your honor, Mr. Adiv." she said, still smiling. The little boy stuck out his tongue.

"Hardly!" The defendant isn't even standing up." He protested. Eiji looked around the room, trying to find out who this defendant was...

"Stand up!" the girl ordered, glaring at Eiji with eyes that had suddenly turned blazing red. Eiji's eyes widened, bolting to his feet.

"Yes ma'am." he sputtered out, flabbergasted. The little girl's eyes faded back to gray as she smiled pleasantly.

"Thank you." she said. She then turned to the little boy, apparently known as Mr. Adiv. "Are we ready to begin?" The little boy looked down, twisting his mouth as he thought, and twisting the gavel around in his fingers.

"I liked him better sitting." Mr. Adiv said coyly. Eiji frowned. He hadn't sat down this whole time! But regardless, Eiji sat. The little boy frowned. "Not you! Fred!" Eiji's brow furrowed.

"Where's Fred?"

"Over there!" the little girl answered, tugging on Eiji's sleeve and pointing at a corner of the room. Nothing was there. Mr. Adiv cleared his throat.

"Miss Banjoko, could you please sit Fred up again, I fear he's falling asleep." he requested. The little girl nodded, skipping over to the corner, grabbing the imaginary object in her fist and yanking it up. She promptly let go and turned back to stare at the judge.

"Oh, now he's standing up too!" he yelled in disgust. Miss Banjoko glared at Mr. Adiv. She wrapped two arms around the invisible Fred and set him down again. Mr. Adiv smiled. "Much better, thank you." Miss Banjoko simply stepped her way back to Eiji's side, waiting patiently for Mr. Adiv to begin.

"Now, I suppose we must officially begin," Mr. Adiv started, his mishevious grin gone and his starving child's hand straightening his tophat. "Let it be known that today the trial of Eiji began with Miss Banjoko present and Mr. Adiv presiding." The little by gave the top of his podium a hearty pound with the gavel as Eiji stood there in disbelief.

"What the hell am I on trial for?!" Eiji demanded. Miss Banjoko frowned, bowing her head.

"He wants to know what he is on trial for..." she muttered to herself, sounding almost angry. Mr. Adiv began to laugh loudly.

"He doesn't know!" Mr. Adiv shouted.

"Heh. Heh. Heh." Miss Banjoko interjected, mimicking Mr. Adiv's boisterous laughter.

"Mr. Eiji, we make up the charges as we go along. But know for sure...the jury's in! You're GUILTY!" Mr. Adiv yelled, falling backwards as he continued to laugh.

Who are Miss Banjoko and Mr. Adiv? And what do they want with Eiji? What has Eiji done that's so horrifically bad? Wait until next time to find out...