msn rolpelay.
logged by: Pale Mist
Sonnet had been about, though now he was at least kind of flying. Trying to keep low as he glides over the trees, circling to get a better look when he sees a familiar pink shape, making sure it was who he thought it was. Dropping out the sky next to him, landing ungracefully with a thump on his feet.
Ivory had been laying in a tightly curled ball next to a bush in a small clearing. His golden eyes were over bright and unfocused. Only half open, not seeing the world around them. His breathing was silent and faint, but the rise of his body showed it was there. He had been laying there for so long, unmoving, that a small blue bird had even landed on his back without his notice. His mind was running with raw, dark thoughts that brought moisture to the broken, young colt's eyes. But once he heard and felt the sudden landing of hooves next to him he jumped it fright and looked up, clearly focused on reality again. He looked up at the shape that had just landed next to him but couldn't make out the features for a moment because the sun was behind the other's head, darkening his face. But then he recognized him, his friend. It was Sonnet.
Peering down at Ivory, shaking his hooves, the landings were gettign better but they still hurt a little. Gig you fall out a tree and land on someone else?" Finding the misery the other colt was in somewhat surprising, he had seemd so happy before.
"Sonnet." he croaked quietly. His voice breaking at the end showing his lack, and unwillingness, of use of his voice in the past week. He tried to favor his friend with a smile, but only the corners of his lips twitched weakly. "No." he rasped and then stood up slowly - and a bit unsteadily - to meet his old friend and see him more closely, his dark thoughts forgotten, almost, for the moment.
Confusion and concern crossing Sonnets face, this colt so very unlike the one he had met before. "Whats wrong Ivory, you dont sound like yourself..."
He looked into the other stallion's eyes, having to look up since he had grown considerably since they had last seen each other, and then lowered his golden eyes. "Lots." He said slowly. "Alot has happened Sonnet..." he added. His voice weak, and a desperately sad underline to it.
Sonnet sighed and walked round, giving Ivory a soft nudge. "This way, we have water and food, you look like you need both, especially the water, you need a drink if your going to tell me whats wrong."
Ivory didn't protest and just followed behind his friend, head held low as his eyes shone again with unshed tears. The once bright, happy golden orbs now dulled and unfocused.
Giving Ivory anther nudge when they reach the water, not sure what to do with such a depressed Colt, he might be taller but he was younger, and he had never seen someone like this before.
Slowly, kneeling and lowering his neck so his dry, cracked lips and desert-dry throat could take a drink from the cold river. After only a small sip he looked up again and straighten out. "Thanks..." he said weakly and then managed a sad smile for his dear friend.
"Don't make me toss you in there, that wasn't even enough to water a seed." Tilting his head looking like he would indeed toss ivory into the water if it did him some good.
The smile widened slightly and then his eyes gave the message that he would do what he was told. He again lowered his head and this time took a nice, long drink from the natural stream. His body craving and crying out for it, his mind feeling like it was about to crack.
Smiling with approval and nodding. "Do you feel any better?" Moving round to look more into Ivory's face.
Ivory looked up at his friend and nodded slightly. Feeling at loss with what he was to do, or say, next.
Sonnet sighs and nudges Ivory again. "What happened you .. .you seem.... Heck I dont even know your acting really weird... Do you need food? I can get you the fresh ones at the tops of the tree!"
Ivory shook his head quickly, he didn't feel he could stomach any food right now. He hadn't been able to for the past few days and today felt no different. "Im sorry." he whispered suddenly after a long silence between them. "Its just...dad left. Again." He closed his eyes tightly. "For good."
Sonnet gaped like a fool for a moment then shook his head. "Nah, he will be back, dads always come back..." Because in Sonnets world thats what Dads did, moms are the ones that were never around.
Ivory shook his head in a jerking manner and squeezed his eyes even tighter. Small beads of moisture starting to appear in the corners. "He won't." His knees suddenly gave in and he fell to the ground. Not even caring or attempting to regain his footing, he curled himself up and sobbed deeply, letting the tears flow finally after so long.
This totally stumping him, Sonnet had not a clue what to do with crying soquili, kneeling down next to Ivory, looking totally lost and helpless. "I'll go find him and make him come back, ok, you dont need to cry, I'll fix it."
He shook his head again in a hard sob. "I don't want him back!" He cried. His lungs let out a scream and then he broke out into near hysterical tears. He laid his young, pink head on his friend's shoulder and wept. "i hate him. hate him. hate him. Let him rot in hell."
Sonnet sat in stunned silence, letting Ivory cry and rave, he had no idea why Ivory would feel that way about his dad. His ears and head wings flattened out, resting his head lightly on Ivory's shoulder, wondering if he could help his friend, though by sonnets thinking a dad was a dad, Ivory had been so adoring of his dad before and now this.It might take time and lots of talking about stuff Sonnet had no real idea about but you couldn't love and then hate someone could you?...
Ivory shook his head against Sonnet's shoulder in anger and the deepest of sorrow. "I..." he chocked and swallowed the hardening ball in the base of his throat. He didn't want to talk about it with anyone. Not his two brothers, not even his own brother. Even his beloved cousin Nerissa could no longer get a word out of him. But now Sonnet had got him talking again. And he wanted to spill everything to him. And then he started to.
Sonnet was quiet, not saying anything as Ivory let whatever was poisoning him inside out. Quietly letting him rave all he wanted, all Sonnet did was offer a shoulder and a friendly ear.
Every detail of the past months spilled quickly, weakly out of the broken colt's mouth and soul. His voice breaking often, but he regained control of his tears for the time being. He told of how his father had started wandering off more and more often. The stress and tears his mother bared. The growing anger of his two brothers. And then finally, the day they had chased the b*****d out of their family. That was a week and two days ago. Ivory even told SOnnet how he had shut down himself soon after. Not talking, rarely eating only to vomit it up again violently. Drinking even less. He had turned into an empty shell and he didn't know why. Should't be be happy his father was gone and they could move on? "Whats...whats wrong with me? My head?" He let the question out into the void. A question that had been tearing apart his very insides for the past week and days.
Sonnet shakes his head gently. "No... Your dad might be a bad dad, but he loves you, what you told me before made that clear. Whatever happened isn't irreversible... I mean if you hurt this much he must be hurting too right, and you have all your other family and now he is alone... " Not sure why but feeling more sympathy than anger for this bad dad ivory had."Maybe... maybe your so sad because you want to hate him more than you actually do..?" Musing not sure at all about what he was saying but he tried to imagine being ivory and what he would feel.
Ivory looked into his friend's eyes and they shared a meaningful silence for several beats. "You..think." Then the silence came over them again and ivory took in a deep breath. Then nodded steadily, his thoughts suddenly distant. Sonnet was right. ivory had been compeltely aware how much they must have hurt his father with what they did to him. He had been lieing to himself this whole time about it. Pretending his pain wasn't shared by his own father. Pretending he was angry and that he hated him when he truly just missed him without end and longed for his comfort. "Your right." He said finally as his thoughts ate up another few seconds. His thin shoulder, from so many days without food, shook and another wave of sobs over came him. But they were different.
Sonnet once again leand over enough to hold his friend while he cried. "Its ok you know, you had reason to be angry, but maybe you can in time forgive him too? I mean being a dad cant be easy can it?" Having learnt things about his own family recently too that had made him realise how much his own dad had messed up in the past.
"I..." a thin gasp took his lungs as he tried to stop his weeping, "guess your right Sonnet. Your right." He was always right. "Thanks." His golden eyes met his frined's and he gave a real smile to show his never ending gratitude. "Thank you so much."
Sonnet grinned and went a pinkish purple. "Its nothing really I just tried to imagine it was my dad you were talking about... He's messed up in the past too you know, I dont think any dads or moms are perfect, but they try and mess up same as us."
Ivory nodded slowly. He remembered some of the things Aunt Selena and uncle Suichii had told him and their own children about their pasts. Red and bloody with sin they were, and now ,ivory knew, they would give the moon and stars so thier two beloved children would not have to go through that. "Forgive and forget right?" At least the forgive part he stuck with. This seemed unforgettable.
Nodding and smiling. "Yeah but we need to get you more healthy, if your family saw you looking so skinny they would worry... Do you wanna stay with me for a while till you feel better? I can tell your mom or something if you want.." Not sure but knowing he was worried at the state of his friend, his mom would probably be horrified
Ivory managed a weak laugh and nodded with smiling eyes. "i would like that." He then told Sonnet how to find his cousin Nerissa who would be the most understanding of the fact that Ivory would want to stay with the tall, young Angeni.
Sonnet nods it not sounding far from here by air. "Ok, how about I go tell her and while I do that and grab some food on the way back you have a wash cause your a bit smelly." Smiling as he said this, not a mean bone in him when it came to his friends.
Ivory laughed again, his heart in it this time even more. Feeling more and more like his usual self with every moment. He did as he was told, even drank quick a mouthful of water, and waited for his friend's return.
Sonnet wasn't gone long, the flight for his growing wings wasn't far and after a dodgy landing the news was given and he was on his way back, actually bringing what looked like a branch of apples with him, realizing to late he had nothing to carry them with. Another dodgy landing later he put the branch down, the thing heavy with apples.
Ivory turned at the sound, and vibrations, of another slightly sloppy landing. he smiled at Sonnet. His mind only now clicking to realize his friend was flying! "You've progressed alot since last time, haven't you?"
Sonnet grinned. "The teacher I had before asked her dad to teach me, its easier to fly when you have such a huge back to catch you when you fall... That and his horn fixes cuts and stuff so that helps too... Once I actualyl started properly flying it got easyer." Having needed the safety net to get more than a few feet off the ground.
The mention of a healing horn made Ivory think of a unicorn. Well I am glad to hear that! I am sure you will get even better!" Then they spend an hour or so eating the apples together. Ivory's stomach had shrunk quiet a bit from the lack of food and the sickly way it rejected it not long ago, but he managed three beofre he felt as though he was going to vomit again from too much food. It was good to be eating again. "Thanks alot Sonnet."
Sonnet grinned. "Friends help eachother, I know you would do the same for me, besides its been too long, and theres lots for both of us to say." Happy to listen to more if Ivory wanted to talk, but there were things he had learned and had happen that ivory had no idea about too.
Ivory nodded in agreement. "Far too long." He added with a soft smile. "Ive talked enough. How have you been dear frined?"
Pulling a face briefly. "Most things are good... I'm Happy and till I found you everyone I knew was happy too, or so I thought... but I've had things on my mind... not bad things just... Stuff you know..."
Ivory felt like Sonnet would allow him to prod so he asked quietly, "What sort of things?" The toehr stallion seemed a bit uncertain, and something in his tone made Ivory worry.
Sonnet sighed and settled in the grass. "A while ago dad was looking for me when I got home... he decided I was old enough to know some things about the family that I didn't know.... about my mother and other siblings..."
"Siblings?" He asked hesitantly. If he was remembering correctly, Sonnet only had one sibling. A sister. "Well, what did he say?" His tone was light and friendly in such a way it told SOnnet he could easily stop talking whenever he wanted to.
Sonnet rested his head down, his wings spread on the grounds, soaking up the sun. "Before my family was me, dad and my 2 sisters, Stripes older and Sym is my age... I thought that was it.... but I have another older sister, an older brother and another brother that lives with my mom aparently..." This only the start of the family secrets
Ivory lay next to him and watched him intently. Not interupting but lending the friendly ear Sonnet himself had given Ivory just a few hours ago.
Sighing as he carried on, nudging a loose apple around with his nose. " My older siblings, have a different mother than Sym and me... Apparently their mother is angry and violent to dad, as is my older brother... my other older sister ran away from their mother but no one knows where she went...""They seem angry and jealous that Sym and me exist, that dad fell in love with my mother after theirs had destroyed the love he had for them.... Then theres my mother... I wonder if she ever cared about dad at all."
Ivory bit his lip and took a few deep breaths. Then he touched Sonnet's cheek affectionately to show he cared. "I don't know what to tell you sonnet. But its like you told me. We all make mistakes, we all do things we regret. Things that hurt us and other's. Though," he added bitterly, "Some mistakes greater than others"
Sonnet smiled sadly. "Dad would let the other family get him hurt, I don't know if he would try to help and it happened or if they wanted to hurt him and set it up but that sounds crazy... And my mother... hes not even sure if shes taking care of my brother... He said that she might look after him or make him one of her servants... If she didn't want us, wasn't going to love us why the hell did she have us?!"
"i really don't know what to tell you." Ivory's innocent mind couldn't comprehend the mistakes some forms of passion carried. The accidents that happened when love strikes deep and hard. As far as he knew, both his mother and father and Aunt Selena and Uncle Suichii were thrilled with their children. Even if they were not expected. "Though I am really sorry." He knew perfectly well how hollow thatword was
Sonnet stood up and paced a little, calming again but muttering still as he did. "Maybe its because shes a princess... I dunno if dad thinks that but in the stories they are always nice I guess the stories are wrong... But maybe.... thats why she left us because she wanted to stay a princess and not a builders mate...."
"What ever her reasons, if she had any," his bitterness building in his chest for his hurt friend, "they were not justified if she could not see the love your father had for her. What she did was wrong, and I hope she regrets it."
Looking over at Ivory, the wings on his head drooped sadly. "Forgive your dad ivory... He messed up but he tried at least, he didn't really abandon you or your brothers..." Pretty sure that if they ever needed their dad and went to find him that he would be there for them even now... Not holding out a similar hope for his royal mother... Almost snorting, royal was overrated... He was fine as a builders son.
Ivory's eyes drooped sadly. He knew Sonnet was right and he couldn't help but long for the forgiving heart his frined had. Ivory was a soft and gentle being, with a warm heart that was also once able to forgive the greatest of sins. He wondered if he could fogive his father. Some part of his knew he must. The toehr kne he could.
Sonnet walking to the water and splashing in the shallows a little, the water calming him, the ripples reminding him of Chan and the patterns on her legs.. Butterflys in his tummy startign as he thinks about her, smiling a little as his head wings perk up. "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, which is why it's called the present." Murmering to himself, not sure where he had herd the bit of sillyness, but it made some kind of sense.
Ivory blinked as he heard the soft quote. "ive heard that before. Nerissa says that alot when i used to be sad aobut something or was hurt. Makes alot of sense doesn't it?" He smiled thinking of his dear cousin.
Noddign and looking over at Ivory. smiling as something else clicked. "Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from poor judgment.... I guess thats what it is with our parents... They dont have the experience to be parents till they mess up at least once..."
Ivory laughed at how perfectly that fit with both their situations. "Your completely right." He thought of his father, and started to wonder where he might be. What he was doing, what he was feeling. Something in him longed to see him again. But a more responsible, dominant part didn't. it wanted him to move on, come back and see them ofcourse, but move on and start a real father. But he would always be his dad.
Sonnet smiled and hooks his head under part of the branch, it not heavy but it would be hard to carry on land. "Come on I'll take you home and you can meet my hopless dad and my crazy older sister and my mute twin." Smiling it might not be the whole family but they were his true family and nothing would change his mind on that.
ivory beemed at the idea and rushed along behind him with a skip in his step. His build was still thin and it would take awhile to regain the healthy muscel he had grown up to, but he was sure he would heal. They both would.
Sonnet smiled glad to see Ivory more happy. "And seriously, its not you Sym cant talk, well kind of can but not..." Not sure how to explain that he could hear her in his head, it would make him sound as barmy as stripe could be at times. "She tries though and is a real sweetheart so just try to watch her movements and you should get the juist of what she wants to say.."
Thinking he should warn his friend before he thought Sym was ignoring him
ivory paused and then blinked. "Sym? As in Symphony?" SOme thing in his memory clicked. Where had he heard that name before? And why was the idea of a mute filly bringing this memory back. He mauled it over for a minute. "Wait...Nerissa! Nerissa mentioned to me how she had met a young filly who didn't talk very much. They comunicated in morse code." Now that he thought about it Neri's physical description of her new frined was very similar to Sonnet's. "Is she your twin?"
Sonnet looked round at him and thinking a bit. "Kinda, shes got some of dads stripes but yeah we look allot alike, purplish wings, more blue mane and tail but thats about it for differences." Tilting his head trying to remember if there were any other changes
Ivory nodded, "I am pretty sure my cousin has met your sister!" He smiled, "She said she was as sweet as honey, weith a heart of gold."
Sonnet grinned and nodded. "That sounds like Sym, shes quiet and sweet, Stripes... well a bit crazy... and I seem to fall in the middle." Laughign softly at how small the world could be.
Ivory smiled, thinking of how nice it would be to meet them all. He was looking forward to it. And a time when he could go back to his own family with head heald high, ready to move on from their rough patch. Ready to grow. "Thank you sonnet." He whispered, not loud enough for his leading frined to hear.
Sonnet hadn't herd the thank you that Ivory had all but whispered. Leading the way, starting to hum to himself, his little head wings bobbing to the tune.
