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 Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:05 pm
Calix was laying in the soft grasses outside the home he'd found for Snow and himself, the home he'd worked hard on making perfect. He'd first stumbled across the place when he was just a yearling, but at that time it held no particular interest to him other than something to envy. Now, now it would become a place of sadness and regret for him. The broken statue that was once a something of beauty that he wanted to share with someone special, now evoked a feeling of bitterness whenever he looked upon it's broken face. A symbol of a lesson learned and foolish mistakes on his part.
The blue hart's head rested on his legs, his one eye closed, his ears were perked and gave the occasional twitch as he lay there. His breathing was soft and slow, concealing the fact that he was actually awake, thinking. He'd been just wandering off for alone time a lot recently, he was stressed and needed to just relax.
But even when he was alone, he couldn't stop the clamor inside his head. There was just too many things to consider and how could he possibly know if he'd made the right decision? But as he looked back on it all, things became clearer. He wanted to be accepted, but it seemed that very few people were capable of that, if any. He'd made his decision.
Rising to his feet, he began making his way back to his home, sliding past the thorns. He walked quietly, incase Snow was sleeping, he could wait for this.
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:06 pm
Snow was curled up under one of the blankets that Calix and her had found together, pressed against the statue snugly. Becuase when she slept like that, she could almost imagine that Calix was laying next to her. She was used to taking naps alone, and hadn't really thought much of Calix going off on his own like he was. She was used to it she guessed, Calix hadn't always been the most sociable after all. But so long as he still spent time with her and came home to her at night she was happy.
She took in a breath and then let it out in a bit of a sigh. Eyes closed her breath coming out in short somewhat iced bursts of air. She rolled onto her side a small smile on her face. She loved this place, it was just perfect, how could it now be? It was beautiful and quiet and it always smelled of roses. There was no place like it in the world, not that Snow would leave to go and find it. She was happy where she was thank you.
"mmm~" She let out silently readjusting herself so that her wings didn't crack against the earth. She wondered when Calix would get back, she really wanted to paint something with him... Maybe some flowers? It was always so cool to watch him paint flowers. What ever sort of name there was for his technique, it was beautiful.
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:07 pm
Calix exhaled loudly and sat just a few feet away from where Snow lay. His blue eye looked over her form, his neck twisted so he could take in her whole form. She was beautiful, but beauty wasn't what mattered.
They'd clearly rushed things, or perhaps it was that things changed once they became more comfortable. But, he wasn't happy, and he wished she had listened to him back when he told her to befriend someone else. If only he had been more persistent about that, he wouldn't be in this situation now.
"Snow," he murmured, his eye locked on her face for any signs of being awake. "Snow, I need to talk to you," he sighed and glanced up at the statue once more to remember the reason he was doing this.
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:08 pm
Snow perked right up when she heard Calix address her, a large smile on her face even if she was suddenly a bit sleepy from laying there all comfortably with her eyes closed. "Oh Calix~ You're back." she said in a chipper tone getting up and stretching out to move over to nuzzle him happily, lovingly, sweetly. "I missed you." She said quietly but still in that happy tone. She moved back a step though even if sometimes she didn't want to give him space and tilted her head at him. "Is something wrong Calix?"
She wondered if he'd gotten any more problems from his family becuase of her. Her ears went down slightly at the thought. She hoped he was alright. "Are you ok Calix? Something bad didn't happen right?" She asked a worried expression crossing her face, her voice filled with concern. He didn't look like he'd gotten hurt... Maybe his eye had gotten infected? She couldn't smell the infection though. But what did infection even smell like? She hoped it wasn't that. She'd have to make sure that he got it healed... with out even being able to help him.
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:11 pm
Calix frowned as he watched her expressions change, watched how she practically jumped up when he called her name. But, that wouldn't deter him. He knew, that if things kept going they'd both be miserable, he had to cut it off. It was what was best for the both of them. He had to hurt her before it became worse. He wasn't sure how long he could last otherwise, how long he could go before he started yelling at her. He didn't want to start acting bitter, like he'd been forced into this.
"Snow..." He started slowly, trying to pick his words carefully. A shudder ran through his body and he stepped away from her, before he spoke again. "I'm fine, but this... this isn't."
He sighed and looked away, "I tried, truly, I did. But, I can't possibly feel comfortable with this and it will only hurt you to stay in this relationship longer..."
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:13 pm
Snow looked at him with a confused expression on her face. What was he talking about? What was he saying? This wasn't fine? What wasn't fine? Their relationship? What about their relationship? none of it made sense to her... What was he saying?
She couldn't even fathom what he was really trying to say. Otherwise she wouldn't have been standing there, she would have fallen to her knees and started to sob. Or started pleading and begging him not to leave her.
But right now, she just didn't understand what he was saying, and the look on her face showed it clearly. She tilted her head a bit, her ears going forward as if that would help her understand it better. "What do you mean Calix?" She asked quietly. Almost afraid to hear the reply, as if she was starting to get it, like the gears in her head were turning. Even though conciously she didn't even want to acknowledge that her heart was starting to beat faster, as if straining, and her breathing had picked up.
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:14 pm
Calix bit his lip, so hard that blood welled up when he stopped. This was painful, but it'd be better, he just needed to be alone. Alone, like always, like it should be.
He looked down at Snow sadly and took a deep breath. He'd have to make this clear and as painless as he could.
"Snow, I'm leaving... We can still be friends?" As if that would make things any better. "If you like... But I'm not really suited for friends."
He wiggled his ears, it felt like he was practically talking to himself, telling himself what was wrong with him. He'd never been one to trust others or enjoy socializing, like his mother in that respect. They'd both go through the motions, but they were both really trapped within their own heads, too focused on what was going on with themselves.
But, he wasn't going to change.
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he began getting up to head away. But, he paused a few feet away from the opening of what used to be their home.
"I mean, this is over. I can't take it anymore."
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:14 pm
Snow felt herself shatter. Her whole world started to break and crush and fall around her. He must hate her... If he couldn't even stand to be near her anymore. "w-why?" She whimpered to him. Her whole body shaking and her head hanging low. "You said... you said.. you said..." She stuttered, falling back into her old habits. "As long as I wanted you..."
She started to cry now, her shoulder heaving as she tried to breath normally. Not wanting him to see her like this. She felt pathetic... How long had he been feeling like this? How long had he been lying to her? Been fooling her? He must have thought she was stupid... Oh god.
"Calix..." She whispered trying to take a few steps forward. Not wanting him to leave, not wanting to be seperated from him. Not wanting to think that this was true, that it was all just some sort of a cruel joke. And that he was just teasing her, maybe even just testing her. "Calix why?" She asked looking up at him, the tears starting to freeze as they rolled down her mask.
"You told me you loved me... You told me you'd run away with me." She was whimpering, her heart felt like it was going to break, like her chest was going to explode or maybe just cave in on itself. Was this how her Cousin Cliffton had felt? Now she knew why he didn't talk to anyone anymore. It was becoming harder and harder to not just fall over and start wailing. "Why are you doing this?"
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:15 pm
"And I meant it then," he groaned. He would not be suckered into staying, then he'd definitely feel like he was being forced into this.
"But, I don't think you'll want me for much longer. It would only be so long before I started to lash out. It's better that I go now, before that can happen."
He stepped away from her and began making his way out through the thorny path. He wouldn't look at her, he wouldn't feel pity. He was doing what was right, it would only be harder if he looked at those tearful eyes. Instead, he lowered his head and closed his eye as he pushed through the prickly plants.
"Why am I doing this?" He said numbly. If he went through his reasons, that would only make things harder. The more time he wasted would weaken his resolve. And, that was how he came upon his solution.
"I lied," he snapped, knowing cruelty would make the break more clean. He could make her hate him and then never have to worry that she was still moping about. She'd get over him this way.
"I never loved you, you were just a nuisance. I thought I'd humor you for a while and that you'd grow bored. But, you didn't and I'm not patient enough for this." He spat, hating himself more with every word.
"Goodbye Snow," he muttered and left.
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:35 pm
"But I'll always love you! I'll always want you Calix! please-" She said frantically, calling to him following after him closely until he made his way into the thorns and told her that . She'd thought she'd been hurting before? No. That had been nothing. Nothing compared to this.
"L-l-l-lied?" she whimpered to him. The words just repeating in her head. He'd never loved her... How could he say something like that? She didn't want to believe that... But... He'd never lied to her before. He must have meant it.
"I'm sorry..." She said quietly. Falling to her knee's her whole body shaking it. Her mask fell from her face and shattered, but she didn't care, how could she? He hated her now she was certain of it. How could she not have seen? How could she not have realized? It had all been a lie. It had all been a sham... He'd never loved her. Of course not. How could he? She wasn't anything even remotely worth his time. She wasn't strong like her sisters, or brave like them either. She wasn't special. She wasn't beautiful. She wasn't special. She was just plain... and easily forgotten.
When he was gone... She just wanted to die. She wanted to scream and sob and wail and cry and never stop. She didn't want him to go. She loved him so much. How could he just leave her like that? They'd been happy... They had been! Was it someone else? Did he find someone else? That was ok... She would have still wanted to be with him. He was her everything, and now he was gone.
She started to sob then, to wail and cry at the top of her lungs. She curled into a ball, her little lungs starting to burn with the use, her throat becoming raw as she laid like that and screamed and cried like that for hours. Not caring who saw her like this, becuase with out Calix what did it even matter? She just wanted to die with out him. How could he do that? How could he betray her like that? She'd just introduced him to her family... and now.. now this?
She curled a little tighter after a few hours of just crying, crying so much her fur was soaked and it was starting to freeze again on her face, creating it's own sort of mask on her. Exhuasted both physically and mentally she looked up at the angel... and closed her eyes. Praying, hoping, begging to god that he would come back to her. Before finally falling asleep alone and miserable.
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