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 Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:44 pm
 Curled up into a tight ball in her den Seraphin was in a foul mood today. Luckily she was currently free from her nanny duties as the pups were either at training or attending to duties. For her to be so mad was not normal. Seraphin normally was a very patient and relaxed wolf, which made her role of nanny well suited to her. But recently, she had been dealing with an abnormally short temper. At first she thought nothing of it, perhaps just a bit of stress from adjusting to pack life after so many years of being on her own. But then a few days back she yelled at one of the pups, and had since felt horrible about it. Nothing she could do about that now, and really it hadn't seemed to phase the pups one bit, they were all used to being yelled at during training anyways.
Letting out a soft sigh Seraphin wasn't sure what to do. She really should go out and get some fresh air, perhaps walk around a bit to clear her mind. But every time she considered doing just that something convinced her not to. That something was both exciting and terrifying. Perhaps she should go find Iosef and talk with him, this did involve him after all. But the doubt had kept her locked up in the den, Iosef was special to her, and she knew that he cared for her very much, or else they wouldn't have - she stopped herself with a shake of the head. There was no denying what had happened between them and she knew Iosef would be thrilled to find out once she convinced herself to leave the den.Best to just get it over with Seraphin told herself and then after a moment of hesitation slipped out from her den.
Blinking for a moment at the brightness of the day Seraphin glanced about the dens, glad that she didn't see any of the other sisters around, especially Vaira. Giving her muscles a good stretch Seraphin set off, hoping Iosef wouldn't be too hard to find today though he had a petty set routine work wise, so she took off in the direction he should be in. The whole time she was mentally going over just how to tell him and trying to keep her now roller coaster emotions in check
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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:06 pm
 Iosef had released Tui from his duties early today. There were too many things weighing far too heavily on his mind, and they crowded into his brain and wrapped around his heart.
Maybe he should call this whole thing off.
Since...that night...he had been jittery, moody, uncertain and terrified. On the one hand, he wanted so desperately for everything to be okay. To make this work.
But...It wasn't okay.
Sighing, the wolf worked disinterestedly at his duties, ears pinned back in annoyance.
It was official. It was a sham, and if she hadn't figured it out already, she would soon enough. And then what would she do? She'd be devastated, he was sure of it. And he couldn't blame her.
He bit his lip, digging hurriedly into the earth, the hole growing twice as large as it should be. No. He couldn't call it off! He would just try harder! She was beautiful and sweet and intelligent and gentle and if he could ever be normal, it would be with her!
Iosef was so buried in his work that he hardly heard the approach of Seraphin, and remained largely oblivious to her presence.
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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:17 pm
Good ol' reliable Iosef, he was right where Seraphin figured he would be. She stopped short of him, watching him work in silence. He looked tense, as if something was on his mind, and for a few moments she wondered if now would be the best time to tell him. Though granted, the sooner she told him the better, this wasn't exactly something one could hit forever after all. Her muscles twitched, begging her to both walk up to him as well as turn around and just leave. Suddenly angry with herself for being so damn indecisive Seraphin whipped her tail about. Had she not been holding back a bit she probably would have growled, but there was still a bit of calmness coming through.
Padding over to the quite large hold Iosef was digging Seraphin came to a stop and looked at the spotchy wolf. Clearing her throat to get his attention Seraphin waited until he looked up at her before speaking. "Can you take a break? We need to talk." She said in an uncharacteristically stern voice.
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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:42 pm
He jerked in surprise at being addressed, whipping his head up to see who was interrupting him. Realizing that it was Seraphin, he fought an initial impulse to jump into the hole he was digging and hide, and sighed.
With a calm, uncharacteristically low voice, he said, "Alright." He glanced down at his unnecessarily large hole he had dug, and sighed, turning away to face her, braced for a myriad of unpleasant things to come out of her mouth.
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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:42 am
Seraphin watched with calm eyes as Iosef slowly put a stop to his work and came over to her. Lowering herself down on her haunches she sat quietly for a little bit still unsure of just how to tell him. There were some other things that were on her mind as well, things that might have bothered any other wolf, but Seraphin was pretty relaxed about those types of things. Or at least normally she was. Lately though her moods were quite unpredictable so it took a lot of effort to not let them get the best of her.
"I haven't seen you much lately." She finally managed to say, glancing at her paws and then at him. They had been spending as much time as they could together, but then after that night together he seemed to be distant. Of course Seraphin had picked up a hint of something the night they spent together and while it was a slight disappointment she didn't let it get in her way of happiness, until now. It seemed that the more time that had passed since that fateful night the less she saw Iosef. "Though I think now we best be making sure to set time aside to spend with each other." Perhaps she should just blurt it out right now and get it over with. Yet, Seraphin knew that when it came to Iosef it was better to approach gently instead of with force.
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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:41 pm
He hung his head in shame, not sure how to respond to this. What was he supposed to say? He didn't know how he felt about her, didn't know how he felt about...anything. Still, he felt her words burn into him, and he sighed. "You're right," he said, and allowed the words to hang there awhile, not entirely sure what else she wanted him to say.
He shifted, uncomfortably, awaiting her rejection, unable to meet her eyes. It confused him, though, the way she spoke to him -- as surely, if she were planning to reject him, why would she speak this way now? He lifted her eyes to meet hers, smiling one of his signature uncertain smiles. "I just...I was afraid you..." If wolves could blush, he would be red by now. "....It wasn't awful?"
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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:49 pm
Seeing that uncertain smile of his melted her heart and any anger that she might have been feeling towards him was now washed away. Smiling sincerely to him and gave her head a slight shake. "No, it wasn't awful." She reassured him, it wasn't perfect either but there was no need to say that. Perhaps she should tell him now, and yet there was that nagging feeling at the back of her mind that something needed to be addressed first. "Iosef..." She began in her usual quiet and gentle voice. "I know." She hoped he would understand what she meant by that, as even though they were alone she did not want any sister to wander by and hear those words she refused to say. "I do not mind. I just wish for us to be happy, for you to be happy. But..." As much as she didn't want to pause her she had to in order to gather her words correctly. "No matter what, I need you in my life. More now than ever."
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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:55 pm
"You know?" He echoed, and felt the sinking of his gut to his paws, the empty bottomless feeling that overtook him. Desperately, he hoped perhaps she was referring to something else...but he knew, from the way she spoke, that she was not. "No...it's not -- I'm different now." He said, firmly. "I've changed!"
They always knew. How was it that they could always tell?
Burning in shame, he stared fixedly at his paws and wished he had some work to do that could distract him from the sudden ache in his heart. "I will stay with you," he said, with more firmness than was necessary, convincing himself as much as her.
Oblivious as to the deeper meaning of her words, he swallowed back his own uncertainty, casting a glance around himself to assure that they were alone. "I'll be better. I will be what you need."
I owe you that much, he added silently to himself. I owed Alkaia that much.
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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:02 pm
Letting out a soft sigh Seraphin should have seen his denial coming. It was natural to often deny something true when confronted about it, especially something like what Iosef was trying his best to hide. "You don't need to lie to me Iosef." But she did not pursue any further, she did not come out here to argue his life's choices. Besides she really needed to tell him the news before he wandered off in search of work or a place to hide for a while.
Stretching her neck out, Seraphin bumped her muzzle under his lowered chin forcing him to look up at her. "There is something important I need to tell you." She said as she pulled her head back so that she may look in his eyes. "I'm pregnant." And because she felt the need to add it even though she was certain he knew they were his and that she had not spend any time with another male. "They're yours."
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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:11 pm
He began to speak, to defend himself, but was interrupted by her touch. He did not withdraw from her, and met her eyes as she intended.
When she spoke, however, the words seemed not to register for a moment, and he merely stared at her, expression blank. Slowly, painstakingly slowly, the realization washed over him, evident at first in pure confusion, then, slowly, as it started dawning upon him, his eyes began to widen, ears folding so tightly against his skull that they seemingly disappeared.
"I -- we're --" his maw hung open a moment, and he looked temporarily trapped, as though not sure if he was supposed to be excited or apologetic.
But then, his true emotion finally broke through him, and -- quite unexpectedly -- the small-statured wolf broke forward, nuzzling her neck affectionately, tail giving a slow wag behind him as he licked her cheek and the base of her ears, completely at a loss for words.
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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:23 pm
Watching his slow reaction to the news was unnerving. Though he had mentioned how he wished to have a family previously she couldn't help but feel nervous at his lack of reply at first. But it seemed that with a bit of time he not only registered the news but found it quite exciting. Smiling broadly as he stumbled over his words Seraphin was relieved to see that he was indeed happy about this. "Yes, we are." She chuckled as he began to lick her cheek. She would have said more but really there were no words that came to mind. Pulling herself a bit closer to him she let out a content sigh. It would be a tough road ahead for them, but they would manage somehow.
Several minutes had passed before she could speak once more. "Perhaps we will have daughters and they can train to be great warriors. Or sons who are as kind and gentle as their father." Seraphin would be happy no matter what the outcome of the litter was. Though a part of her hoped for at least one daughter, as she knew Iosef wished for that.
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:25 am
In their proximity, she could likely feel his trembling, the quiet shaking that had begun in his limbs and spread throughout his body like a low-grade earthquake contained within the wolf.
"We have to tell the queen," he said, at length, and was proud of how stable his voice sounded.
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 10:25 am
The thought hadn't occurred to her yet that this would need the Queen's attention. Would Penthesilea be angry with them? Did they miss an important ceremony before spending that night together? Seraphin still hadn't learned about all the traditions of the pack and now she was worried that they would be reprimanded for their actions. "Yes...I suppose we should." Swallowing hard Seraphin looked at Iosef, a bit of worry in her eyes. "Do you think she will be mad at us?"
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 10:51 am
He considered this a moment. "I...don't think so," he said, brow furrowed, withdrawing from her touch. His thoughts were traveling in such a rapid jumble that he was actually glad to have such a concrete problem to solve. "Weak male though I am, I share the blood of two fine warriors, and she would be glad to have more of their kind in the pack." He glanced back up,meeting her eyes. "And it would be your prerogative to choose whomever you wished as a consort. That is well within your rights."
He settled to his haunches, looking a bit bashful. "We probably should have informed the queen of our intent...ah...before, though."
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:03 am
Seraphin could really only nod slowly as she thought on Iosef's words. Yes, she knew she had her choice of males within the pack and though she had already picked him she never thought that they would end up in this situation before speaking with the Queen. "Yes, we should have. But there is nothing we can do about it now except tell her the truth." And that scared Seraphin very much. She knew the Queen was fair and just, but would a surprise breeding between a slave and the nanny force her to take extreme actions? They could only hope that Penthesilea would show them some lenience.
Glancing around them for a moment Seraphin let her eyes fall upon Iosef once more. "You will come with me, when we tell her?" If he chose not to then she would do it along, but having Iosef there would give Seraphin the courage and grounding force needed to see it through.
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