Kijibwa was moving very slowly through the jungle in the dim morning light. He had left behind the little family that remained with or had found him, starting off his day much earlier than them. He was having trouble sleeping, and definitely couldn't sleep any later than this now. So he was out for a walk, even if it was a very slow one. He wasn't nearly as healthy as he used to be, not taking very good care of himself despite the best efforts of Hiba. He didn't have much to do or much he cared to think about, but he kept going, clinging to what hope the others tried to hold onto.
Unlike her estranged father, Janja was healthy and happy. She was finally pregnant and she and her mate would finally have their happy family, genetics be damned. Her only concern about this now was that she knew what the problem was, that Hayate couldn't have cubs, and this meant that after this litter she would need to convince him they ought to be content with what they had. And perhaps he would be satisfied, since it had taken this long. The only thing that ruined her mood was when she caught a familiar scent she had hoped to forget, and though she tried to ignore it something about it worried her. It was alone, which made it harder to identify but she knew.. and it got her up early, intent on exploring, hoping to nose around early enough that she might not be seen.
But it didn't work out like that, she was moving more carelessly through the trees than she should have when she heard the sound of slow footsteps nearby and the breeze brought the scent to her. She stopped and waited tensely, leaning to look out around the trees. After a moment she caught sight of a vaguely familiar form, plodding along through the trees. Not nearly as large or lively as she remembered him to be.. and alone. But she didn't know what to do, so she only stood there dumbly.
She was not nearly as obvious as she might have been standing out in the plain, and even shadowed by the trees and the morning light.. she was hard to miss. Kiji was not exactly watching where he was going, looking toward the ground before him rather than the trees.. but the smallest sound in the quiet, a glimpse of something he'd lost in the corner of his eye and his attention was on her. And like her, he didn't know what to do so he stopped and he stared. He came here looking for Siku, he came here because this had been their home, because it was the best place to meet up when they lost each other.. he didn't even think it might be where Janja would be, though he realized all at once that it had been her home once as well and that it made sense she might be here. Last time he had seen her he had felt angry, staring at her now he felt only fear. Fear of the anger she rightly would feel since he had chased her away.
Janja was sure she was prepared for this when she had set out earlier, knowing who she would find and having a suspicion of the unfortunate state things might be in.. but she wasn't prepared for how her father seemed now. He stared at her with tired blue eyes that were full of fear. She expected indifference or regret, perhaps even the same anger, or sorrow. The look he gave her made her stomach twist-- and that was ignoring the unfortunate physical state he was in otherwise. She was a smart lioness, she could guess what made him so fearful, and she realized that they would continue to stare at each other until someone decided on what to do. Judging by Kijibwa's state, that someone would be her and there was only one right choice now. She'd hate herself more for walking away now than she ever had for when she had walked away before.
"Daddy?"
His ears perked at the only word she said and his expression became confused. She wasn't angry with him, she wasn't going to yell at him or say how much she hated him.. she sounded worried, just like Hiba, despite everything. For the first time in a long time, he felt a flutter of happiness- she was whole, she looked healthy and she didn't hate him. For all the practice he had gotten lately, he couldn't help but let his mind wander to Jedi. He had to hope her attitude was not because something had happened to her. He took one hesitant step toward her, feeling fearful again and wanting to say something but not finding the words. He hadn't heard much of the brief conversation Janja had had with Siku before she was chased off and Siku didn't care to talk about it, he'd never have heard any indication that Jedi was OK then and so far he'd managed to see Janja twice and Jedi none. But.. Jedi had always been more likely to follow her sisters than lead the way.
He opened his mouth to say something, to ask something.. but nothing came out.
She frowned more deeply, watching his rapid shift in emotions. He looked almost happy to hear her at first but went right back to being fearful. He didn't know what to say, he never heard the whole story and he'd done something he clearly regretted now. She'd already started and so she would be the one to follow through, though the fact she was very obviously pregnant-- and much more so than last time, she was sure-- made her hesitant to just walk out. She would just have to deal with that when it came up, if he said something.. he'd almost have to say something. Her belly was wider and lower and he obviously had experience with a pregnant lioness before.
"Daddy, it's OK," she said finally, forcing herself to put on a small, awkward smile and finally step out from the trees, "What- what are you doing here?"
Her smile was almost comforting, and part of him felt lucky she didn't look more like her mother than she did- she rather took after him. He was doing well not to be shaking, especially once she was moving closer and closer to him. He didn't even notice her belly, he was so focused on her face and the things she said to him. He didn't know how to explain, what to say- it didn't matter that he was here anymore, did it? He might have asked her the same, but even it was harder to say than his own explanation.
"Siku- your mother- she's gone, I thought she might come here, that we might meet here again," he said shakily, still staring unblinking at his eldest daughter.
Janja was already expecting something to this effect. She was surprised, though, that she had only gone missing and he had hoped she would come out here to meet up with him again. She couldn't imagine her mother running off and she couldn't imagine any scenario that would lead to their separation but she wasn't going to ask that. The quiver in his voice and the way he stared at her made her feel very sorry for him. From the brief, angry conversation she had had with Siku the last time they spoke she knew what she had done had led to a lot of trouble, that leaving and taking Jedi with her had hurt them deeply and together they had managed to pull themselves together. But now Kijibwa didn't have Siku, he couldn't fight this loss the same way.
"I'm so sorry," she said, frowning once again and no longer hesitating in walking up to her father. She nuzzled against him affectionately before resting her head against his mane and sighing. She wanted him to correct her, correct himself for the way it sounded like Siku had never shown up but she had little hope for it.
He tensed when she came up to him and nuzzled him, resting against him. He was still terrified, scared she was not really so forgiving and scared to accept her words, to acknowledge that sad facts he now lived with. After a moment's hesitation, he nuzzled her back, pressing back against her gently. He had plenty of understanding and plenty of awkward affection but this was somehow different. It was Janja and somehow that made all the difference. He nearly choked as he spoke again.
"N-no," he said, "I'm sorry. We tried to pretend you never happened, tried to forget about you and when you came back.. we panicked. We were hurt after you left, we didn't know what to do."
Janja waited a moment as he pressed back against her, clearing her throat before she backed up a step so she could look at him and so he could look at her. So they could talk. She smiled sadly as he fumbled through an apologetic explanation, then shook her head. She would have liked to hear the story, know what happened, but she thought twice about forcing him to go back through it. It didn't really matter, it happened then and this was now. It was easier to be apologetic in such sad circumstances. If Siku were there and Kijibwa looked healthy they could have argued, perhaps as it should have been. But that wasn't what would happen now.
"It was stupid, I was stupid," she said, realizing she should have planned what to tell him better than this, "I didn't want to hurt you when I ran away, I didn't intend to take Jedi with me but she wouldn't let me go alone. It wasn't worth it, I didn't mean to cause all of this trouble." Did he need to know about Nasibu and Kileji? Did she really need to explain to him that that was the reason she had run away? Ashamed that she had fallen for the charms of a passing rogue, that she could have been so foolish.. she was not so proud now, she had grown up and realized her mistakes, all of them.
Kiji's ears turned back when she moved away but he stayed where he was, watching her step back and looking her in the eyes as she spoke. He didn't understand why she had run, she didn't really offer any explanation- though she indicated that it was only her idea, she was the one who was going to run away by herself. Jedi wouldn't let her go alone. Even knowing that much of the story made him feel better. They hadn't both abandoned them, Jedi was trying to stop Janja from abandoning them all, keeping some small part of the family together.. his optimism and acceptance might have surprised him, were he not so distracted trying to piece things together and overwhelmed by how he was staring at someone he never thought he'd see again.
"Jedi," he murmured, "Is she here? Is she OK?"
Suddenly, out from the trees stumbling Hiba. He'd never been very good at hiding and as much as he wanted to just eavesdrop, the shock of seeing his father actually talking to someone and embracing someone he didn't know kept him from reacting quite appropriately. He couldn't help but notice just how much the lioness looked like his father, especially so close up.. and the gold, the rings on her tail.. he wasn't on the right side of her to spot the mark on her shoulder that his brothers had inherited as well but he didn't really need to see it.
"Dad, what--?"
He knew he was intruding and he cursed himself mentally for not reacting so suddenly. Hiba was learning an awful lot about his father and mother all at once and he was overwhelmed. Moving to the Jungle when he had never even known his parents had lived here before, passing through the desert and welcomed by the pride's leader as old friends and it was hard to not find out he and his littermates were not Kijibwa and Siku's only cubs once Jamala and Demani'roho showed up.. but he'd gotten more information out of Jamala than his own father, and he was shy of speaking to the god too much so it still wasn't much.
Unlike Hiba, Janja had never seen or heard any indication that her parents had had more cubs. She'd caught glimpses of cubs that day she had been chased away but it wasn't really what she had focused on then. The bright gold of his fur and his wide, blue eyes gave him away instantly, though. She didn't even need to hear him call Kijibwa dad. Her own dark blue eyes were wide, she was standing up straight and looking directly at the stumbling lion. After an awkward staring contest that seemed to last forver, she turned her eyes to her father.
"H-hiba!"
Kijibwa was stunned by the appearance of his youngest son, nearly jumping out of his skin-- and joining in the awkward staring, though he looked back and forth between the pair of them. He couldn't not explain now, he knew that. He hadn't really wanted to talk to Hiba about Ekevu, even when it became impossible to deny her existance with the appearance of her mate and daughter.. but Ekevu's story didn't have any happy parts with regard to him and Siku. Janja's story was not nearly so unfortunate, and she was standing right here. His eyes met Janja's as she looked at him and he took a deep, shaky breath as he prepared himself to introduce them, who were never supposed to meet.
"Hiba, this is Janja. She is your oldest sister," he said, looking to Hiba and then back again to Janja, "Janja, this is Hiba, your youngest brother. After the three of you left us, we had more cubs- seven of them. Six boys and one girl. They had started slowly dispersing before we all were separated by the earthquake. Hiba was the only one I could find afterward."
"Janja?" he repeated questioningly, finally looking from his sister to his father. He felt almost threatened by her appearance, not at all how he might have felt if one of his brothers or Khepri showed up now. It was hard to accept a sister you never even heard about, that you never knew. He would have given anything for one of his brothers to show up but he didn't like this at all, didn't know how to deal with it. He hesitated as his story was being told, looking back to Janja. His eyes couldn't help but wander-- and he paused when he realized she was pregnant. It was becoming increasingly difficult to sort out an opinion on the situation.
Janja was not nearly as threatened by the appearance of a younger brother as he was by the appearance of an older sister. Her eyes wandered between the two of them, noticing how much alike they looked. Hiba had the same sad, tired look to him.. but he still looked healthier. If mom and dad had gone a little crazy after she and her sisters had left, there was a good chance they'd been babied or shielded far more than they had ever been. She spotted Hiba's eyes pause at her belly and shifted her weight protectively. Still, she tried to offer him a small smile.
"Pleased to meet you, Hiba," she said, making sure to speak clearly to him. This didn't need to be more awkward.
Kijibwa watched with a newfound fear as each sized the other up. He almost flinched when Janja greeted Hiba in a much more demanding tone even though she was being the polite one that way. He wondered what had brought Hiba out here, he was getting increasingly jumpy.. he probably had panicked when he woke up and realized Kijibwa was no longer there that morning. He didn't really blame him, though he'd never admit it. But he also didn't know exactly what to do now. His eyes were on Hiba, wondering if he would be polite enough to respond as Janja had addressed him.
"P-pleased to meet you," he said hesitantly, his eyes back to Janja's face and staying there. She was his sister. She did look an awful lot like Kijibwa, that would be very hard to deny. And he had only just found out about having older sisters, he shouldn't have been so surprised that Janja was here. It was almost like a family reunion in the jungle, which he found unsettling as he tried to cope with the fact they had more family their parents lied about. If they lied, if they kept them a secret, it had to be for a reason. The way they were interacting, the way they were speaking to each other, even in the little time Hiba had managed to observe.. it was all pointing towards something he really didn't want to think about. His father was revealing his secrets and he was forgiving and being forgiven..
His eyes went back to Kijibwa, watching him.
Janja offered Hiba a smile but could see the way he was looking at her, there wasn't much she could say or do to remedy that, not right now. It wouldn't be as easy as offering a more in depth explanation and if it was, the explanation wasn't something she was eager to put her father through at that very moment. So she didn't. Still smiling carefully, she looked back to her father and resumed the conversation they were having before Hiba had showed up.
"Jedi is fine, she's here in the Jungle with me," she said, her smile widening a bit as she went on reassuringly, "She's fine. I'm sure she'd love to see you, both of you." She glanced to Hiba, hoping he would appreciate being included. Being a mother had made her slightly better at these kinds of things, Nasibu and Kileji were about the same age as Hiba, that helped a bit.
The tension between the three of them was hard to bear. Kijibwa took a step closer to Hiba, leaning against him a bit.. partly to reassure him, partly to reassure himself. He looked back at Janja as she resumed the conversation they had been having before Hiba stumbled out of the woods. He sighed, not realizing just how leaving that question unanswered had affected him. Knowing Jedi was safe and well too was a relief. They could take care of themselves, they got something right with them, even if they had all left.
"I'd like that," he muttered.
Hiba leaned back against Kijibwa, mostly for his own comfort now. He couldn't help but feel some satisfaction in knowing his father was still there with him, that he wasn't suddenly so caught up in the return of this estranged daughter.. he was still here with Hiba. He listened as she spoke of Jedi, his tail swishing anxiously behind him at the idea of bringing her here to see them now too. He tried to smile but it looked as forced as it felt, even once Kiji said he would like to see her.
"Of course, I can go get her now," Janja said quickly, taking a couple steps back, though apparently reluctant to just turn around and go off, "You'll wait here for us?" Jedi needed to come now, Janja almost regret not bringing her along but she had never told Jedi what happened between her and their parents. She had been trying to protect Jedi from the truth, the terrible truth that had come about because Janja was too much of a chicken to talk to her parents, to admit to them she had been so easily deceived. Jedi was probably the only blameless one in the whole family, or what had been the whole family at the time they had left.
Kiji nodded absently, he wanted to see Jedi very much.
"Of course, we'll be here, right here," he said shortly, looking over at Hiba briefly before looking back to Janja.
Hiba was fidgeting once she said she would go and get Jedi right away, feeling like this was going to be a very long, very tiring day.. and it had only just begun. But he couldn't stop this, and he wouldn't.. he could feel as threatened as he wanted but this was important to his dad, that was very obvious. The stupid nagging hints at what he hated to think about, to face.. well, they kept him from interfering or causing any problems now. He nodded when Kiji looked over at him, but stopped again once his eyes were off him. Maybe he would feel better, maybe his dad would have something comforting to say once she had gone off to find Jedi.
"OK," she said, hesitating only another moment before turning around and heading back off to wake Jedi. Her mind was racing. Should she bring along anybody else? Would that be too much for him? Should she bring Hayate? He was sure to notice she was pregnant sooner or later. He didn't look like he could take a whole lot at once, though. She would consult Jedi, they would come and visit with him and ease him into the idea of meeting anybody else, perhaps.. but right now, she had to get Jedi.
"OK," he murmured, then he watched as she went, still not quite noticing the bulge to her middle. After a moment, he looked over at Hiba and stared at him silently for a few seconds before he finally spoke up, "Go back and get Jamala and Roho, they would like to see Janja and Jedi, I'm sure." Mala knew them, if he liked to be here with him and Hiba then he would appreciate seeing the other girls again. And Roho would meet her aunts, her mother's littermates.
It seemed that they were staring after Janja forever before Kiji finally turned and looked at Hiba-- but then he only stared at him, too. Hiba stared back, frowning once again, wishing he knew how to react to all of this now. He was stunned when he was told to go get Mala and Roho, though. Everything was overwhelming enough, bringing them in seemed like a bad idea-- not to mention they kind of scared Hiba, too. But he could hardly say no.
"O-ok," he murmured, his frown deepening as he stared back at his father for another moment before he stepped away and turned around to go and get them.
Kiji shifted his weight once Hiba was no longer at his side so that he supported his full weight himself again. He knew Hiba was hoping for more of an explanation, another piece of the story, some sign that everything really was OK.. but he needed this, they both needed it. Hiba needed to know he had more family and Kiji needed everybody to be together one more time, everybody that he could find here. The jungle was bringing many of them back together. The only good thing that had ever come of leaving was Siku, after that.. leaving the jungle had only ever separated them. First Janja, Jedi and Ekevu left, and even after they pulled things back together, it didn't last. They were divided again and Kijibwa had lost Siku.
The jungle was where he had been taken when he was saved from the desert, it was where he grew up, where he fell in love, where he started his family and where they were reunited, at least in part. He knew the jungle would be where he died, too, and the more he thought about it the less it worried him.
Fin.
