Haiku | Page 1 | Poetry and Lyricism | Guild Forums

Gaia Guilds

Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

This is a writer's guild where all can gather for feedback and advice on all mediums of writing. Plus it's a great place for conversation.

Tags: Writing, Writer, Writer's Block, Critiques, Friends

Poetry and Lyricism

Haiku

little tigeress

Offline

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 2:12 am

Oh spring sakura
Sadly falling near my cheek
Once more you've returned

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 7:11 am

Nice. You've done what a haiku is supposed to do, and even referenced seasons. I like it. It gives a... melancholic feeling?

Serenity Reed
Crew

Offline

little tigeress

Offline

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:39 pm

thank you^^

I've edited it some now though

Quote:

Ah! Spring sakura
Sadly falling near my cheek
Once more you return

It's about farewells. They are always sad, but they aren't always forever. I'm glad it gets that sadness emotion across, but i'd like it to have a bit of a hopeful tone as well. Despite the fact that this means spring is ending and the beautiful sakuras are dying, the speaker knows they will return next year as they have this year.

Poetry and Lyricism

Welcome to Gaia! ::

Gaia Guilds

Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

Quick Reply

More Information