Welcome to Gaia! ::

(i'm sorry i didn't mean for this post to be so long...and i don't know if you would even take time reading it...but this is the reason why i didn't put this at the prayer chamber...)

goodness!...i'm not usually like this but now i tend to worry too much to the core...i don't even know how to start because i'm already beginning to crumble and give up!...and i really, really, REALLY need to vent!

alright...i know i've been whining about my best friend on some of my posts here but... gonk gonk gonk here she goes again!!! gonk gonk gonk she's doing the very same thing that almost killed her about a year ago!...you see, back then, she dated someone on the internet...someone that she barely knows...it's a long story but to make the story short, this internet person made lies so as just to find a way to abandon her...until he finally did...then my poor best friend, believing that it's all true, crashed down into some major depression mode with thoughts of killing herself...even though we already found out that this person were all lies!..as far as i know, she already attempted twice to commit suicide (even before this incident) but i don't know...i believe God is really at work so luckily she's still living...

like...come on!...she still haven't learned yet?..she's cyber-dating someone again??...i just know that this guy isn't serious and just playing around..what if something similar happens??...i don't want her to get hurt again because i know her life story...if i could describe her,, she's the most miserable person i've ever, ever known...(family, romance, stressful work that she doesn't even wanna take a break from, somewhat rebellious, cold, walled, somewhat suicidal, very depressed inside but she doesn't want to show it, she feels so "dirty", unworthy and too down in the muds--back then, she told me that she feels that way...--can you see the picture??) she's been through A LOT! i believe that God put her on my way because i'm the only the Christian friend she has..but....i feel so helpless...i really can't do anything but to pray...and much worse, she treats me now like she's never treated me before...she treats me coldly, she doesn't even want to see me nor talk to me...she doesn't reply in the chat room, she doesn't reply on my text messages, she talks to me coldly on the phone, and sometimes somewhat harshly declines my invitations on anything...i don't know exactly WHY...so...obviously i cannot help nor comfort her as before...it's like she's completely blocking me...these are only "some" of the details and this post would be too long to read if i added them all here..but i hope that you can already understand what i'm trying to say...and judging from her status and shoutouts, i can sense that she wants to forget ME!..and focus on that...that...(uuuuuugggghhh!!!!) internet guy!..good heavens! i don't want history repeating itself...i don't really mean this to sound so bad but her emotional and spiritual condition is really THIS bad as i perceive...well...it's only my perception though...and i'm not saying that what i'm seeing is absolutely right because it's only me...technically speaking, i can be unburdened if i just "drop" the load..but i can't!..and somehow i don't want to...i got a good family, a good career, a comfortable home, almost nothing to worry about in life--but there's her...she's the only one who can haunt me this way...

i tried and did my best people! cry prayed for her, shared the Good News (even my dad did that), talked to her, gave her advice, comforted her, come to her aid to the point of neglecting some of my important duties just to attend to her...because i'm scared that she might do something...well...stupid...i don't know what to do now...i was once a carefree, worryless, happy-go-lucky person...but everything changed when she came...i was turned into a cry-baby! sometimes, thoughts of hating her for what she's doing to me enter my mind (after all i've done for her and now THIS???--something like that) but at least i can immediately rebuke them whenever i remember the word "faith"...thank God for that...

all i want is that she comes to know the joys of having a God that can wash you clean and forgive all the bad things that you did...for her to understand how much love God has for her...to have a "Dad" whom you can always trust and share your burdens with, or whom you can always talk to in times that you just want a simple chat...(ok i'm already crying crying ) why can't she understand that?...it hurts...why does she choose to keep hurting herself when she can always come to me or any friend for that matter?...i feel so helpless seeing her like that but i can't do anything because she constantly and sometimes even harshly refuses...even if i try to talk to her in the kindest possible way...God knows that i've been begging and crying to Him to send someone whom He can use to redeem her...

i don't even know why i am THIS worried! (not just about the internet guy but at her current state)...is this still even normal?? as i've said i was once a very carefree person...and now since she's blocking all my ways to communicate with her, i can do nothing but to "LET GO" of her, and to pray, pray, and pray, and trust God for a miracle...yes, i believe it'll take a big miracle to save that kind of person...a spiritual stunt maybe...made by Almighty God Himself...i can even consider it like God Himself performing a spectacular stunt (like stuntmen do in action movies) before my very eyes! (Of course He doesn't need to do that)

i AM confused actually, whether my decision to let go and just pray for her was right, or should i still do "something" for my part...i keep entrusting her to God, i know He has His right timing, that He moves in unfathomable ways, blah blah blah, but i don't know why i am still really really worried..and confused...and i feel cornered...i'll feel terrible if i give up praying for her...yet i also feel terrible to actually see her getting worse, thus prompting me to pray more...but it's tiring...seeing her worsening condition and all...please pray for me...and for HER specially...i believe that with this kind of person God is the only one who can help her...please...we need your prayers guys...and i beg you to please pray for my best friend...i really love her so much...and if she continues to walk further into that path, sooner or later she'll meet her doom and i don't want that to happen...pray for her please...

and i really need your advice...especially on a Biblical context and some related Bible verses so i can reflect on them...but of course, each and every advice will be greatly appreciated...please...help...thank you in advance...

(whew! i'm feeling a bit better now...but i still feel like crying! crying --really sorry! i really want to make this post for sometime now...told you i needed to vent)

First off I will most certainly be praying.

Second: And this may sound harsh.....but stop and take a deep breath. Your post is not showing the least amount of faith. I don't care how much time you are spending in prayer for your friend....if those prayers are filled with this kind of worry and doubt, they aren't even going to the ceiling. You either trust God for this matter or you don't. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you peace and the faith to move mountains, and don't leave your prayer closet until you know that you have it. It might even help if you fast. Remind yourself that worry doesn't do anything but cause wrinkles.

Third: I was once praying for someone that was on "self-destruct". I went to a local park and sat by the water. I told God that I wasn't leaving until I heard from Him, and I didn't care if the gators came out. Two hours later the sun started going down and I didn't waver. About that time a bottle went floating by and the Holy Spirit whispered to my spirit, "I can't fill it until it sinks to the bottom." Since then I have come across many people that this applies to, (they have to come to the end of themselves) and each time God has given me the peace to let go...knowing that even though I can't see it.....He is working.

You don't give up on them....you keep praying and loving them, doing anything else is playing God. Unless your friend is in immediate danger there really is nothing you can do anyway, other than be there for her.

Regarding fasting, I'll say this. I've done it, and it's been a great help to me ... but do it on the sly, if you can. Jesus tells us to avoid letting others know when we're fasting, so we don't live for their sympathy or their attitude of our holiness.

If you live with your parents (or anyone outside of a casual roommate), it's hard to fast without them knowing ... unless you want to lie to them at dinnertime, and I don't advocate that.

But that's just my opinion. As far as fasting being essential ... I don't know anywhere in the Bible that calls fasting essential for our salvation, but certainly it's a good idea if you want to be "on fire" for God.

Well, you could skip breakfast and lunch ... and yes, you could use that time for prayer. I don't think God would mind if you were to pray while in the bathroom, or driving to and from work, or whatever. Or even a little extra heart thrown into thanking Him just before dinner.

"Prayer" doesn't have to be as long as your posts xp . It can be as short as "thanks, God", or as simple as "hey, God, sorry I didn't talk to You earlier, but You saw how crowded things were in there ... whoops, manic driver. Thanks for not letting him hit me."

I've only fasted a handful of times, so I don't pretend to be an expert on the subject, but I suspect God's happy to hear from us, regardless. Fasting is part of what draws us closer to Him, certainly ... but anything is good. If "fasting" for you just means you're not going to have a Snickers at break like you usually do, then I think God'll take note of that. Naturally, the more you can fast at one stretch, the better ... but anything's better than nothing, to my mind.