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 Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 12:24 am
Alright. I've been having the same dream everyday for almost a year now. It happens the same exact way. Nothing ever changes.
The dream is I'm in a room crying holding my 8 year old daughter and my 8 year old son. They are twins. All 3 of us are crying in this room while there is a banging on the door. Its the kind of sound where someone is trying to break the door down. Finally the door crashes down and I close my eyes screaming with my kids. Then everything goes quiet. I open my eyes and I'm sitting in darkness. My kids are gone and so is the strange room. Then I wake up.
Background note, I'm 18 and about 2 years ago I was supposed to have twins but my mom 'convinced' me to have an.....*sighs* an A. (I can't say the word) I wouldn't put that information out but I think it will help in figuring out what my dream means.
Please help.
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Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 9:52 am
It sounds like the dream is representative of you being forced to give up the children you would have had. The door being broken down symbolizes your mother forcibly taking them away from you. The helplessness and fear that you have in the dream is the same way you must have felt when this happened in real life. It sounds like you still have a lot of emotional pain over what happened, and that you never wanted to give them up. Your subconscious is reminding you of this because of the guilt you have about the situation.
You went through a horrible experience, one that no one, especially someone so young, should ever have to face. I can't even imagine how hard that must have been on you. But you can't keep blaming yourself for what happened. You have to find a way to both forgive yourself, and stop blaming yourself. You were young and afraid, and you didn't know what to do, and because of that, you were forced to do something you didn't want to.
Maybe it would help to tell your mother how you feel. But if you think that would do more harm than good, it might be better find someone to talk to who went through a similar experience. Possibly an anonymous meeting group, or just an online forum if you'd prefer to be even more discreet. There are also counselors at most family planning centers that specialize in talking to people who have gone through what you went through, so I would suggest making an appointment and talking to one of them. Just know that you aren't alone in this, and that you don't have to keep blaming yourself.
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Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 12:31 pm
Thank you so much. This is a great interpretation and I think I understand now. I will try one of those meeting groups around the internet soon. Thank you for your help. It means so much to me.
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Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 12:56 pm
No problem, I'm happy I could help. Good luck, and take good care of yourself. *hugs*
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