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 Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 5:47 am
Eh I just can't seem to get this right. My boyfriend loves it when I get on top of him and ride him but I can't seem to get the right motion to ride him the way he wants me to as he calls it a popping motion. Also when I sit in an upright position it sorta hurts like hes touching something inside of me but when I ask him he says he doesn't feel anything weird. Now I'm just wondering when a male touches a womans cervix isn't there anything for him to feel there like a bit of a "road block"?, cause I don't want to get really injured during sex if I feel a bit of pain and don't want him to stop what hes doing.
Also yesterday I got into a small argument with my boyfriend over the fact that well he was listening to music in a room alone and behind the chair he was sitting in was a tv and on top of the tv had a porn dvd on it. I glanced over at it and asked him who did it belong to and he told me it was his. Suddenly he asked me if I wanted to watch it and I said no I'm not going to watch it and he had this look on his face which sort of upset me. I felt sad at his expression also at the same time he was drinking a beer, and he set it down. Looked at me and said its wrong of me to watch porn cause I would be looking at another male naked. Even if I wanted to watch it with him I also told him the exact last time I looked at porn. Honestly if it weren't for my twin brother and my older brother I would have never seen porn ever in my life, I do like watching it though not for sexual purposes like mastubating I watch it to maybe learn new things that I already haven't read about in a book. You cant learn everything from reading. Later that night I apologized to him cause I felt really sad that I upset him, by then he had thrown up half all the beer he consumed that day. Then when he came to bed and he tried to kiss me and he burped I pushed him away a bit cause he burped in my face. He turned over and tried to go to sleep I felt a bit sad again cause I love being close to him especially when we sleep together.
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:43 am
It's normal for people in relationships to have arguements and disagree. It's just part of being in a normal, healthy relationship.
If he's going to be cheap and say that you "can't look at porn because you'll be looking at another naked guy", then turn around and use the same arguement back at him, because it's just as fair: Tell him he can't watch porn because "he'll be looking at another naked female." If he's going to use that BS excuse with him, then use it right back.
Although I'm sure he loves you a lot, what bothers me (from reading your post) are his insecurity and his control that he seems to try to be exerting. If he rented the porn and then offered you to watch it with him, he shouldn't be trying to control what you can and cannot watch. By all means, if you want to watch porn, then go right ahead - he has NO right to say whether you can or cannot look at another naked man. That's just a load of crap. Also, what bothers me is the fact that he seems to be insecrure enough to actually make such a stupid comment. If he feels stable with you in your relationship together, there would be no need to say such a thing.
Just something to think about.
Why do I say that he seems insecure and trying to control you? Because watching porn inside a healthy, loving relationship shouldn't be treated in the way he did. Yes, you're looking at another naked man, and he's looking at another naked female, but that shouldn't matter - it should be understood that both people in the relationship are not substituting these porn stars for their partner. It should be understood that the porn is something to help excite and throw something new into a relationship, not something that will cause both people to be upset or confused, etc. If he has this attitude towards you watching porn and other naked men, then maybe it would be better if you BOTH didn't watch porn. That includes him.
You could try reassuring him the next time you two are intimate, and tell him that you like being with HIM, not some naked porn star. You could tell him you don't appreciated being told what you can and cannot watch, but that if you two watch porn together, it should be mutually agreed upon, and neither person should be trying to control the other person by saying things like "Don't look at that naked man" or "oh, don't watch this position", etc etc. Talk to him and communicate what you told us. At the very least, he should know you don't appreciate his comments or his behavior.
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:18 am
Nikolita Because watching porn inside a healthy, loving relationship shouldn't be treated in the way he did. Yes, you're looking at another naked man, and he's looking at another naked female, but that shouldn't matter - it should be understood that both people in the relationship are not substituting these porn stars for their partner. It should be understood that the porn is something to help excite and throw something new into a relationship
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 11:10 am
mikomihino_25 Nikolita Because watching porn inside a healthy, loving relationship shouldn't be treated in the way he did. Yes, you're looking at another naked man, and he's looking at another naked female, but that shouldn't matter - it should be understood that both people in the relationship are not substituting these porn stars for their partner. It should be understood that the porn is something to help excite and throw something new into a relationship Heh I can see where you're coming from, I don't like arguing with my boyfriend either. 3nodding And sorry if I sounded like I don't like your boyfriend, because that's not the case... I have issues with the dumb things he says, not with your boyfriend himself. So no worries. Just tell him to stop being a hypocrite, and then I guess you can leave him alone for awhile. Something like, "I don't appreciate you being a hypocrite. If you can't even listen to my explanation, then don't bother coming to be to be intimate until you can be fair and see things from my side too." Or, "I don't want to watch porn with you until you can see this situation from my side." That way he knows he has to change his behavior and/or apologize, or else you aren't going to be intimate with him or watch porn with him, etc.
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 3:38 pm
Sometimes arguements are healthy. The key is to argue effectively.
Listen without defending, speak without offending. It's a mantra I have to repeat to myself. Another key for me, personally, is never go to bed angry. Work out the issues before you have time to sleep on it. But by no means should you have to concede to his points just because you don't want to fight and argue. Stand your ground!
As for the sexual position, men can't always judge the length and everything. The woman on top is great because you can judge how much is too much.
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 6:47 pm
I'm catching on the burp thing. Now, I don't know what really happened since there might be some things you haven't mentioned or noticed or whatever, but this strikes me as a guy who is not being particularly considerate of you. Burping is one thing. Burping accidently in your face is one thing. But to just burp without making an effort to turn away is just rude (not to mention disgusting, especially right after he has thrown up).
It shows a complete lack of respect for you and your personal space. That, combined with his lashing out at you for not wanting to watch porn with him, worries me a bit as to what kind of relationship you have (or, rather, what kind of relationship he thinks he has).
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 8:47 pm
Kukushka But to just burp without making an effort to turn away is just rude (not to mention disgusting, especially right after he has thrown up). It shows a complete lack of respect for you and your personal space. That, combined with his lashing out at you for not wanting to watch porn with him, worries me a bit as to what kind of relationship you have (or, rather, what kind of relationship he thinks he has). Agreed. neutral
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:03 am
He did turn away sorta though not really but like a moment later he had to get out of bed again to go throw up again and I was like thank god we didn't attempt to have sex just yet cause I know I would not have wanted to get thrown up on. Sometimes I don't think he actually takes the time out to think before he says certain things to me and if I did point that out to him we would argue some more, So I'll be keeping that to myself. gonk
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 9:55 am
I'd think it would be something to point out to him, actually. If you're not happy with how he's acting, then tell him.
Why? I can speak from personal experience. My ex apparently "had problems with me" from the time we graduated together until we broke up - a period of about 9 months. I was extremely hurt when I DID find out that he had been having "problems" with me, because for a long time I had no idea, and it hurt me that he didn't tell me sooner than when he did.
In contrast to my ex, I once told my current boyfriend something about myself, and it turned out he had already been aware of it, because he had noticed it in my behavior. Immediately I was ashamed and upset with myself for doing this behavior, because I was not being fair to him (it wasn't fair to him that I had been acting the way that I had), and for other personal reasons too. I ended up crying and having a bit of an emotional breakdown in front of him... but we're still together. He wasn't even mad at me. I got it out in the open, and we discussed it, and we worked our way through it. Again, communication is key. He and I have a very open relationship, to the point of where we can talk about anything, even negative things about each other; we talk about them and discuss them, and are still ok afterwards.
Don't keep things bottled up inside, because chances are it'll come back to bite you in the a** later. A healthy relationship should consist of 2 people who are open and honest with each other, because communication is a huge part of any relationship. Even if it's hard to do, or you think your relationship might be hurt, do it. Once it's out in the open, then you and your partner can deal with it.
And if he throws a tantrum and breaks up with you, then you'll know he wasn't worth it anyways.
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 4:34 pm
I'm going to go talk to him now * sigh * wish me luck, but shamefully if I don't get this position thing he probably won't want to make love to me crying
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 11:26 pm
mikomihino_25 I'm going to go talk to him now * sigh * wish me luck, but shamefully if I don't get this position thing he probably won't want to make love to me crying Then it's his loss, not yours. wink If he's going to be a jerk and throw a tantrum and tell you he doesn't want to have sex with you, that's his choice, and his loss. Best of luck talking to him. heart
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:49 pm
Yeah, best of luck although, i think that he is a bit of a knob for getting that drunk in the first place, i only EVER throw up if i have had ALOT to drink. That is a bad sign.
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