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 Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:04 pm
Masa lay on the ground, her mind a wasp's nest of activity. Slowly exhaling, her breath caused the dust on the dry ground to stir. Her paws absentmindedly kneaded the earth in front of her before tensing with a little more purpose. How dare he, she thought. After everything they had been through together. He had left her behind, he had left everything behind. She flicked her ears back and growled. She was a fool to be thinking like this.
To miss him. To need him. To want him back.
No.
He wasn't coming back, and with a determined flick of her tail, she felt empowered. She didn't need him back. He was in her past now, just as the conflict between her pride and their neighbors was in the past now. She didn't want him back. Her future was her cubs now. She would do anything to keep them safe, she would never leave them, and she would never tell them of their father. They were the future, and the past was just a little too painful.
Getting to her paws, she shook the dust from her fur before padding forward. There was nothing to be gained from sitting and moping alone. Perhaps some company would lift her spirits.
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:25 pm
Jasiri was having a hard time resting his eyes, because the white clouds overhead kept drifting across the sun and changing the lighting over his face. This might not have seemed like much of a distraction to some, but to Jasiri, it was terribly, terribly irritating.
As if he didn't have enough to be irritated with and focused on, now he had something so trivial--so childish upsetting him. he could honestly not even believe how frustrated the clouds were making him. He felt like a ridiculous cub, clenching his eyes tight shut and quivering his jaws in annoyance, tossing violently one way, turning the other.
Finally, the perhaps not-so-tired male rolled onto his feet and stomped away from the area he had been "resting" in. The journey to the Mwezi'johari was a long one, and he had been tired. Well, so much for some relaxation. Was that so much to ask for? Was wanting relaxation too much to ask for?
Suddenly, almost immediately, Jasiri's mood did a complete turn-around as he saw someone approaching.
Ukali’masa.
Suddenly clearing his throat under his breath for some unseen reason, the male unconsciously flicked his tail and shifted directions to meet the lioness.
"Hey," he said rather uncouthly. "is everything all right?" he added, gold eyes scanning.
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:50 pm
There was one lion in particular that weighed heavily on her mind, and because of that, she felt a deep resentment. He had been the only lion that she had relied on to always be there for her, to be her support when everything fell apart, and to hold her up when she needed someone to fall back on. She had herself, she had her pride, she had her family, and yet, it felt as if she had lost everything. She had everything she needed. There was no excuse to be feeling this way, and that was what hurt the most.
Masa lifted her eyes from the ground, scolding herself for being unable to get her mind off of the past. As she drew them upwards, they came to rest on a familiar shape. For an instant, hope filled her chest. Peering at Jasiri, she could see just how much they had been related as her senses threw her back into reality.
"As right as it can be, Jasari." She replied, trying to convey no sense of her disappointment. "Did you get any rest? I suspect we'll be on the move again soon."
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Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 8:48 am
The reality of what had occurred not so long ago was still not completely settled into Jasiri's mind. The fact that his younger brother was gone--gone forever. Even if he were to return, Ukali would never take him back. Jasiri knew her well enough to know that. Of course he did. And if his brother had known her at all, like HE did, then his brother would know to never come back.
But there was still a strange, tiny knot of worried doubt resting in Jasiri's stomach as he listened to the voice of the lioness he loved. But no, he wouldn't worry about anything. Why should he worry? It wasn't like he...he and...her...were...
Literally snapping out of his thoughts, Jasiri looked back to the tan-colored lioness, mulling over her words. Her voice had plainly shown her emotions, and it was as if her mate were still there, only ignoring her with his back turned.
Yes...he was still there...
Gold eyes lax as Jasiri let his mask slip over his face once again, he just nodded. What could he say to her, anyway? What could he possibly say...? Maybe there was something he could say, but he was just a failure. Or...no, there was nothing he could say.
"In the true sense of the word rest? No, I didn't." the male sighed, and it was perhaps all too obvious that his "resting" experience had been the complete opposite of what he had originally desired. "But yes, you probably suspect right. These breaks never seem to last too long." Though they were more or less frequent, especially because there was a single pregnant lioness with them...
Something glimmered dully in Jasiri's eyes.
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Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 9:36 pm
The journey had been getting more difficult for her, and though she refused to admit it to anyone, she was thankful for the more frequent stops. Kobe’gumu still had her respect as their leader, and she trusted that he remained just as dedicated to them as he had been all those years ago. Her pregnancy had practically torn what was left of the pride apart, and it seemed to her that Kobe was the one other lion that felt as responsible as she did. She hadn't meant for it to be such a source of conflict, but these things had a way of happening on their own, expected or unexpected. It was up to her to deal with the consequences that she had caused, but it still felt nice to know that Kobe was bearing some of the burden as well.
A cloud of wistfulness shrouded her thoughts before she quickly shook them away. He had had his chance at being there for her and he had left her abandoned. Even if he did come back, she would never trust him again, with herself or her cubs. They wouldn't need anyone like him in their lives. But what she tell them when they asked about their father? The truth? That he hadn't loved them enough to stay?
Or would she have to lie to them... Masa sighed absentmindedly.
"Yes, the breaks have been pleasant, although short. I just wish this entire journey could be over with, it's been so long since we've been home." She could almost picture the green grass of home, the memories from the war nearly forgotten. Still, she knew that their home no longer belonged to them, and that the land was undoubtedly changed forever. It would always carry scars with it...
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Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 10:13 am
Jasiri regarded the tan-colored lioness with an expressionless face, not wishing to reveal what he was truly thinking and feeling as he watched her--watched her face shift and an almost visible burden weigh itself down on her shoulders.
She was...thinking about him.
Gold eyes blank, the lion stood tall and polite, wearing his mask well.
"They're short, but shorter breaks mean we'll get to our destination sooner, right?" he said, and even his voice donned a mask. Truly, he was worried for Masa. She was pregnant, and she had just lost her mate. She was clearly not herself. It would take an utter fool not to see the inner-burdens she was carrying. He'd have to talk to the King. Maybe if he spoke to the King about it, the King would understand, and the breaks could be longer, and Masa would get to rest more, and she wouldn't be so...
...So...
Jasir wished...more than anything, he wished he could take some of it away from her. If he--
...No.
The lion broke away once more, tail flicking as he gave the lioness a compassionate look--but perhaps it was feigned. Perhaps that wasn't what he was feeling.
"Would you rather have longer breaks, or would you rather get home faster?"
Home...it wasn't home anymore.
But maybe it could be...
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 2:16 pm
As she tried to lower herself onto the ground, the discomfort in her belly was a stark reminder of the urgency of their journey. "I'm so tired of wandering, Jasiri." She sighed. "I fought for our home, I feel like I gave everything for it and I got nothing back." She looked around at their surroundings. It was bleak, barren, and hot, the shade from the few trees in the area providing little shelter from the sun. She didn't want this for her cubs, this land would be cruel to them.
Her paws felt tired and weary, but she was determined. She wasn't wandering anymore, none of them were. Those that had stayed with Kobe were headed towards the Mwezi'Johari lands, and it gave her paws a sense of purpose and direction. "I want to have a home again." I want to belong to someone again.
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