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Rate my short story? :D

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Dwitzy

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:16 pm


The Impossible(Romance):
I'm walking in the hallway, when i feel something hit my back, it's something heavy, and i fall to the ground. And i hear voices behind me; "Hey Raven, why don't you go cry in a corner somewhere? Your taking up our breathing space." They sneered at me, laughing, they walk away, i can't move or get up, Damn! I said in my head, then suddenly, someone picked me up and held me steady, i didn't know him, but he was a teacher, i could tell, just by his voice. "Hey, are you alright?" he asked me and i turned around to see a beauty that i could not help but stare at: I looked into his eyes, they looked.....sad. He turned a bit red as he saw her, he gazed upon her and into her eyes of broken glass, Beautiful.. he couldn't believe how extravigant her eyes are, and with a deep feeling of sorrow. "So, are you okay, do you need to go to the nurse?" he managed to spit out. "No, it's okay, I'm fine." she made a very cheesy smile and walked away as normal as possible, she ached all over, she could barely breathe. Raven was in class, and she couldn't focus at all, one her pain, and two, she kept thinking about him, the Teacher person, He's so handsome, i bet he's married... the bell rang at the end of the day, she was getting her things from her locker, and walked out the school doors; she could hear voices behind her, she knew..she ran, they ran, she...was knocked over. "Raven, we didn't get to finish our meeting this morning, so we've come to finish.." they kicked and punched, and threw stones at her, she was barely awake when someone steped in, the person was quick, like a black shadow, she couldn't watch, because, she wasn't awake. She awoke in a small room, all black, with the curtains tied, she heard someone come in, she hid a little, but when she saw who it was...she didn't. "Your awake, thank god." he sat by her side, on the bed, and just looked at her..smiling. "You..you.." she tried to say, but her put his finger on her mouth, "Shhhhh" he said "Don't speak, i don't want you to overwork yourself." he patted her head and she relaxed, feeling the warmth of his hand. "I'm Alex, by the way" he said, she has totally forgotten to ask his name, she kept looking at him, staring at him..wanting. "I've been through what your going through, and i want to protect you." he leaned closer to her, "You shouldn't have to suffer, for what you are, you should be able to be free, they could have killed you.." a tear ran down his face. She was astonished, "But, you don't know me..., how could you.." she stopped, because something was on her mouth...his lips, he held her, and passionately kissed her, he let go. "I know all i need to know about you, to know that i love you." he put his head on her shoulder, and she lied there, reciting a poem in her head. Someone like me, someone like you..i never thought the two of us could be together, people from two different worlds who couldn't have been so much more alike, you understand me, i understand you, the impossible couldn't have been more acheiveable, The Impossible.(Made by me^^) Well, that's the end Hope you enjoyed it!!!!
PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:17 pm


I'm thinking about making it longer or into a novel, I haven't decided yet ^^

Dwitzy

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Countess Morianna

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 11:47 am


have you ever read 'vampire kisses'? cause the main character in it is a girl named raven who is in love with a vampire guy named alexander... lol

nice story btw smile
PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 5:39 pm


Countess Morianna
have you ever read 'vampire kisses'? cause the main character in it is a girl named raven who is in love with a vampire guy named alexander... lol

nice story btw smile


Yea, I read it....AWESOME BTW.

Dwitzy

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