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Evaporation

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Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 11:00 am

off again on again relationships? Have you ever been in one? Would you ever be in one?

I'm just wondering, because I see tons of couples who constantly break up, get back together, break up, get back together, etc. Personally, I have not and never want to be in one of those relationships. I figure, if it didn't work the first time, what's going to make it work this time? /:

Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 11:47 am

Lol past 2 1/2 years of my life.
It's off for real now since she's off to university.

Anyway it's not so much that it didn't work out the first time, it's more that the relationship was so casual, we never really defined if we were 'together' or not. So sometimes we'd see each other and go out with each other...and other times, we just wouldn't. We'd never break up formally, we'd just go our separate ways. And then get back together for some reason. It sounds so flimsy because it was and that's all we wanted.

It also doesn't sound very deep or meaningful, but I don't think that's true. When we were 'together', we were really close. We've both shared more with each other than we have with say, just friends.

It's just that it wasn't a typical permanent relationship like everyone expects. We didn't expect to hang out every day of every week, we didn't expect to hang out every month of the year. We're both highly independent people with two completely different social spheres.

I gotta say though, she hooked up with me more than I hooked up with her. I think if she hadn't kept approaching me, I'd have been happy to leave it 2 years ago.

Vitamin Crack

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Valise

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Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 1:41 pm

Not my business what other people do. I have never gotten back with an ex and don't suspect that I ever will since I would be willing to work through most problems in a serious relationship and me breaking it off probably means that the relationship is beyond repair. But anything could happen I guess.

Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 2:17 pm

Evaporation

I figure, if it didn't work the first time, what's going to make it work this time? /:

This.

My parents actually broke up for about a year and stayed friends, then got back together when they were both getting really big on religion. It still kind of baffles me how they're together. I mean, they get along well for the most part, but my mom likes quilting and my dad likes motorcycles. They met in a gym and are nine years apart. Put two and two together.

An oldish friend/now good acquaintance of mine has been having 24-hour break-ups for the past few months, and proudly declares how she's SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE or something similar on Facebook every time it happens, claims it's for real, etc, then immediately gets back together with the guy. It's ******** ludicrous, if not hilarious to watch.

I won't judge others when they do it (like I said, it apparently works for my folks), but it just seems like a bad idea, usually.

Klempky

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Tanyarbles

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Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 2:51 pm

If you break up in the first place, like you said, there must have been something there that bothered both of you so much that caused you to break up.
People don't change overnight.

I don't see myself in that sort of situation.
Though it would kill me if it ever happened (a break up), and I'd probably still have feelings for whoever it was, chances are I wouldn't get back with him and just get over it.
Can't be a p***y.

If there was a strong doubt that caused a break up, that doubt would haunt me during the whole relationship and kill it.

Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 3:08 pm

I have no idea. It seems like a lot of my friends who do that sort of thing aren't very happy about it, but I could see the need to take a break in a relationship. It could help things, or it could be really frustrating for both parties, but that's true for every aspect of a relationship. xD

unfathomable

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Undecidability

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Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 6:22 pm

Klempky

Evaporation

I figure, if it didn't work the first time, what's going to make it work this time? /:

This.

An oldish friend/now good acquaintance of mine has been having 24-hour break-ups for the past few months, and proudly declares how she's SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE or something similar on Facebook every time it happens, claims it's for real, etc, then immediately gets back together with the guy. It's ******** ludicrous, if not hilarious to watch.

I won't judge others when they do it (like I said, it apparently works for my folks), but it just seems like a bad idea, usually.

OH GOOD GOD @ the bolded part
But that's a good example, if there are problems with the relationship, they're not going to be fixed over a few days or even weeks. I think the only way an on-and-off relationship can work if the breaks last for significant amount of time, for both parties to work out the things that were problems.

So yeah, I honestly don't see how couples can break up for a few weeks or even months and just come back to the relationship. It seems like there would be so many problems. But if it works, well, good for them! If not, no surprise there. But even when you're apart from someone for a long time, it seems so unlikely that both people will still want to get back together. So really, I don't understand this at all.

Also, I actually think my parents took a break before they got married...I don't know when or for how long, but it seems to have worked okay.

Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 11:46 pm

i have never been in one, or want to be.
i want intense passionate love, not half-assed love.

Brass Knuckles

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Diuy

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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 2:07 am

Depends on the situation. If we break up, there's a chance that it was a problem neither of us wanted to confront but we do later.

Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:45 pm

I don't like relationships like that at all.

Twice I have broken up with a boyfriend and they begged me to get back, and I did. Both were a HUGE WASTE OF TIME.