My Walking Question Mark
Chapter 1: Military Deception
I strutted down the street with my heels stomping a rhythm on the pavement. The starless night was now filled with trillions of rain drops ready to drench me. I sighed at the freedom and relief the water felt over me like it was soothing all my bad memories with gleaming happiness. I stopped walking and sunk down against one of the street lights as it towered over me. As I closed my eyes, I saw him. My Denver. I saw his wisdom filled blue eyes as they assured me of all love and faithfulness. I remembered his smooth lips as they spoke the words that are sacred to my heart.
I thought deeper into the most amazing memories and let myself drown into them. He has given me his soul, but I am afraid that it is in peril. I heard a swift rush of wind wrap me up and whip chill bumps across my skin in ripples. My clothes stuck against my body. The rain seemed to change direction as though it was aimed towards me. The clouds moved faster above and the air got cooler. My eyes popped open while my thick eye brows furrowed in curiousity. Wind swarmed around my ears loudly as I screamed.
"Who's there?" I whispered through the rain. I thought I knew the answer, but I became nervous when some of the doors on the street opened and closed loudly. The rain constantly plummeted against my face and body and a hand attacked my neck. It wrenched my whole body up from the ground, and I tried to wiggle from it. It carried me to the end of an alley. My legs never touched the pavement. I would've thrown a riot, but I couldn't breathe. So all I could do was wiggle and gasp. Finally, I knew the answer.
I always knew who this was.
On the back of the alley wall I was brought to, I was dropped to the ground. My bottom fell to the ground with a splash in a puddle. My head smacked the pavement while my breathing tried to race up with my heartrate. In blood, the invisible soul wrote "His soul is not in peril. Yours is." His firm hand grasped my neck and wrenched me from the earth. It threw my body against the brick writing. I slid down the wall and all I wanted was to stay still. Still enough to where I could catch my heart beat and hold my mind steady. Without a second to breathe, the hand turned my head to where you could only see my profile.
"They're coming to find you when the light breaks before us and the dawn awakens from the dead. Leering dictators shall come before thy death because of the unknown," his raspy voice whispered as I clenched under him. I wanted to fight, but I could feel the force of his body bombarding me to the ground. My piercing screams broke the silence of the dark night.
His presence seemed to slip away from me. The area was washed over with a sudden calmness. The wind slowed down and the rain never stopped. I only heard the pound of my heart in the deepened silence.
Kenny.
Kenny could not get over me falling in love with Denver. He was Denver's first cousin until they went off to the military. I don't know what happened to make them feel this need, but they both admired me in different ways. So much deception happened upon them that neither told me about. I did not want to know. The moment they came back, I was forced to choose. Forced to brake a friendship that never got up off the ground and make a love happen.
Only my Denver stole my heart, but this tortured Kenny. I don't know how he loved me so much. I only saw him once or twice at a store or at school. He was traumatized, but he showed this in a way that only shocked me.
He killed himself days later. Kenny was found on his farm with blood spotted on the dirt. His soul now comes by to tell me my future, but he doesn't seem to realize that he is causing me such agony. I know what he wants. He wants me to say, "I love you, Kenny." I just fear how far is he going to go to make me say it.
Chapter 2: Taco
I could see the brick walls encountering me from either side. The unpredictable outbursts of Kenny's appearances have left me with little pride. I rested my head against the back of the wall and closed my eyes. My chest continued to rise and fall rapidly as I gasped. My heart was at a fine pace, but I don't know how much more my pride could take. He is slowly demolishing all the confidence I built up over the years. I sat in that exact spot for what seemed as though a lifetime. My back layed against the wall, but I flinched under the night sky. I was startled by the quickness of his actions. The roughness of the scrapes left upon my skin from being tossed about as if I were his own personal rag doll.
A shiver quivered up my spine, rippled through my neck, and my teeth chattered. My body arched and I sat up. I crawled over to a puddle where the moon glistened on the waves. I gazed at the reflection of my eyes. They were as emerald as ever, but they held my fear and my sorrowful pride. My knees hurt from sitting on all fours, but I just stared at the gorgeous reflection of the moon.
Over the previous summer, the fields were bright green and the wind whisped my shear white dress into the air. The sky held small timid white puffs of clouds. I sauntered out of my wooden cottage and sat on the steps. The sun beamed down over the land and several of the horses felt playful. I felt very entertained by them as I sat.
During that same afternoon, Denver came back from the military. His vehical was a blue 1967 Chevy Camaro. I knew I would miss him, but he wanted to be apart of this. Denver wore his camouflage uniform and had a wool sack slung over his back. After one sight, he simply stared at me. No smile, but I saw the shimmer in his eye that made me sprint over and hug him. He read my memories that my heart had chained inside, but somehow that one look demolished all recognition of those locks.
It didn't feel like an invasion when he looked at me like that. It felt like a welcoming into my heart. His arms squeezed me so tight that there wasn't any air circulating through me, but I do not think I would've remembered to take in any if he had not done so. My eyes were closed shut from the moment I was lifted from the earth. I felt secure and protected, but not because he learned the ways of the military. The secure feeling of knowing you have something beyond anyone could see. The extraordinary feeling of love uplifting you with a newborn life.
When I opened my eyes, I caught a glimpse of Kenny's smoldering brown eyes fixated on me. I guess I did not see him when he came out of the car. He also lived with us, but he would never stay for during the day. Kenny would always leave for work the moment the sun peaks out over the mountains and come back when the sun would sleep.
I remember him standing alone under one of the shadows of an apple blossom tree. He always gave me those eery eyes. Those eyes that haunt me to this day and are filled with a jealousy and regret. This always left me uneasy.
I came back to reality when the calmness of the puddle was disturbed by tiny rain drops. As the sky began to shed into more rapid tears, I regained the strength to stand. I stood so slowly it looked as though I was trying not to brake a single bone in my fragile body. I wrapped myself up in my old plaid jacket like a taco trying to pack in massive amounts of cheese, meat, and lettuce. I held in the pride that simply could not be damaged anymore. If so, it would have shattered it.
I trudged off from the three surrounding walls that seemed to be countering over me. My silver strapped heels clunked on the ground. I did not look up. I just watched my long steps make my way up to the cafe' blocks away on Mallory St. I peaked out under my eye lashes at the bushes and shrubs surrounding the path. My dark wash jeans were glued to my figure from the treacherous rain. I practicly tore at the hyms of my buttonless jacket apart from holding it around me so tightly.
My hair was damp and the soaked strands framed my face.
I knew there were street lights and stores all about the path, but they seemed so indefinite and vague in the murky mist. I remember the roads being so clear and uncloudy only a few moments ago. I stopped and opened up my body up to look behind me. I saw the faint orange street lights and mirky tree limbs. My lack of sight was not helped by the rain pelting down on the area.
I can never be sure if I am paranoid, or I am having that feeling. That feeling where I know he is coming. My scarlet strands of hair lashed out over my face when I whipped my head back to the front. My lips pursed, and I continued to walk. My steps became more short and staccato. I felt a warm burst of air aimed towards my back. Nothing seemed to be affected by this sudden gust of wind except me. I turned again sharply to face anything that seemed to be coming.
My feet picked up to a sprint and looked back and forth quickly so I didn't run into a unexpecting vehicle. I knew I saw a pair of wondering eyes, but the constant movement of my head made me quite unsure. I came to the end of a street corner, but as I began to turn to my right, my right foot slipped out from under me as if I had stepped on a bar of soap. My entire body crippled to the ground beside a stop sign. I covered my face with my arms and barried myself in the ground as if it were my only savor. The warmth of a hand that was place on my shoulder made me trimmer. That hand pulled my shoulder down to make me face them, but my eyes were squinted shut.
"Excuse me miss? Are you okay? You seem to have had a fright," a voice of a man spoke. It was very rough, but there was a thick accent that I could not decipher. " I will not harm you."
I finally opened my eyes to see a comforting young man with sympathetic eyes. He was possibly in his early twenties. He helped gain my composure. He had an onyx wool coat and black jeans. He was very tall and he towered over me. Blonde curly hair covered his miniature ears and pure blue eyes that drowned me in its wonder.
"Umm. I'm okay," a small voice pondered out. I was astonished to see that it was mine.
"Where are you heading towards? I do not mean to interigate you, but you seem confused or lost."
"No. I am just heading towards the cafe' over there." I pointed nervously across the street at a small brick shop with windows overflowing with bright lights. It had a huge sign in the front saying Krissy's Cafe'. Many people go there, but it was too late at night for customers to be strolling in. I was amazed that we just stood there in the pouring rain as if it were just another fine and sunny day.
"Well, may I buy you a coffee? I have nothing else to do," he spoke jokingly,but I was offended.
"No thank you. Besides, I am no one's last resort." I started to roam off towards the shop, but his hand circled around my wrist. I whipped around to look at him in anger, but his eyes devoured me in its blue pity.
" I didn't mean it like that. I just thought I could be of some help to you. Would you at least let me escort you to the cafe'? It's the least I could do for scaring you."
I pondered this for a moment.
" Fine." He took my arm under his, and we walked silently to the door of the shop. I turned to thank him, but when I looked at his eyes, they put me in a daze. I could see the deep blue of his eyes like the sea was swaying under the moonlit tides.
All that came out was a few little stammers.
"Your welcome," he chuckled off and went into the joint. I was completely confused as I followed in after him.
Chapter 3: Befuddled
The high pitched chimes rang out from above my head as I followed this mystery guy. The cafe' had delicious scents wafting around the room. The aroma made my nose dance with joy. I heard the loud clinging of plates and silverware. The mist outside fogged up the windows. The floors were checkered in pale colors, and the walls were a bright orange. There were spinning chairs next to the counter and seats next to the window.
The full breathy chuckles of elderly men in thick coats and dull colored clothing sat at the back corner of the joint. Ladies with business dresses sat with smooth legs crossed and only a cup of coffee steaming up to their noses. They all seem so lifeless. As though their lives were at an end, but behind the counter, there was an unknown life that was just filled with uplifting moods.
In rain or shine you will always see Krissy scratching an order onto her legendary notepad. Krissy owned the place, but she was a big kid at heart. She had smooth carmel skin that surrounded her thin body. Krissy eats and eats, but she shall never gain a pound. She would sing random tunes from "I Still Miss You" by Keith Anderson to "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira. She may do a shimmy or a twist in her elegant skirt, but she knows what is appropriate. Our friendship still stands proud as the sign outside with her name on it.
Philiecia, the cook, would say the most corniest lines. I guess at twenty two it's okay to think the knock knock jokes are hilarious, but the whoopee cushion thing is not cool. Especially when she put it on my seat last year for my birthday suprise. She had dark skin and chocolate eyes, but when she laughed, it brought the most angelic smile.
Sharaz and Sydney were an interesting couple to watch. Sharaz was just another bus boy clinking dishes and washing floors, but he made himself known. He would drum on the soapy dishes with forks and spoons with impicable beats. He says he only stays to get the money to salvage his wrecked car, but we all know he stays for Sydney. Sydney was a short blonde with smarts and talent. She comes in every night and stays for the same reason he does.
I remember Sharaz's car. It was stunning and glamorous until the moment he quit the football team two years ago. To this day, none of us actually know the reason why he quit, but a few members decided to get drunk and hot wire his car and drive to the nearest railroad tracks. They sprinted for miles and early the next morning, the train demolished the vehicle. Well, that's what a few of the citizens said who were watching the incident. In the back, you could see them whipping each other with the towels. Confusion drawn all over my face like a painting, I continued to follow the mystery man as though he had me on a leash.
"Hey!" My legs tried to run but it was just a frilly bounce. He continued to walk to the back of the cafe'. I came to a hault once he went behind the counter. "Krissy!"
She didn't even flinch. I stood there in shock looking at the curly haired dude that strutted in here like that. I walked up to Krissy who was at the table with the lifeless beauties. I swirled her around to stare at her pure brown eyes.
"Hey girl" she shrieked. I couldn't help but smile. Though she was extremely thin, she crushed me in a welcoming hug. She took a step back slowly because she felt how wet I was. "Oh gosh! Where have you been?"
"I'd rather not say. Do you want a hug?" I walked towards her with my arms out to hug her, but she ran away screaming. I giggled. "Hey. You guys! Who is that guy who just acts like he walk up to me and thinks he can use his blue eyed charm with me?"
Her eyes fiddled around the room looking for him. I saw her eyebrows pull together in confusion.
"Justice, who are you talking about?" She hung up her notepad on the hook above the sink. She looked over her shoulder at me like I grew the long pearl colored wings as pure as the brightest star in the sky. My mind churned. My eyes don't play games with me. I know what I saw. I plopped down on one of the seats closest to the window. Life played out while I sat befuddled.
"Justice, I think you have been sniffing that happy crack. Happy crack," Philecia joked from the back.
"Whatever Phil." I looked at Krissy, and she looked a little worried. "Calm down girl. I am fine."
"Okay, but if you start seeing the Micheal Jackson walk into your house, we need to have a talk," Krissy looked at me with joking eyes.
"Well, do we need to have a talk about where you are going tonight?" I eyed her hair full of curls and not in her usual pony tail.
"Ooohhh. Where are you going?"one of the ladies said and hit her on the shoulder playfully.
She giggled. " Oh. It's a secret."
Her voice became heavy with seduction. I raised my eyebrows at her as she swiftly took off her apron and strutted off like a model. Her feet stomped and her hands on her hips. Finally, she stopped at the door, turned around, and posed for us all. The customers paid no attention, but the workers and I whistled and cheered.
"Bye Krissy," we shouted together.
I could hear her car vroom off along the dark streets. I looked at my phone to find out it was only 9:02. I heard the chimes on the door rattle. I looked back to see Junior stalk in with water drenched roses. I tossed out my confusion about the mystery guy for awhile to ask what happened.
"What's wrong?"
"Dont give me that pitiful question. You know what's wrong with me." He looked exasperated as he plopped down on the opposite side. The flowers were thrown on the table and they stems of green and drips of water tinkled out. The flowers looked depressed with its red roses faded and sad.
"You know you want her. Why don't you just ask Olivia out?"
Finally, Philecia brought me my usual glass of milk. It was filled to the brim and it looked so good.
Olivia. You think you know everything until you find out your friend likes the girl you cheered with for two years. It is amazing how oblivious we can be to the world around us. Junior and I are too old to competitive cheer again, but I go to the competitions frequently. He has been wanting to ask her out before Kenny died a year ago.
"I can't. I keep thinking she wants Kenny back instead, and she keeps ignoring me." He looked out the window to see the moon shining, but the fog made the moon loose its shape. "I think it's the moon messing up all these girls hormones. Hormones are like the tides. They bigger the moon, the worse the hormones are."
"You can't always blame the hormones. Sometimes we are just girls, and stop thinking about Kenny. She didn't want him in the first place." He just stared at the moon. The moonlight made his face glow.
"I even bought these crappy flowers for her."
"They're not crappy. They are still beautiful."
"Yeah. Sure. Whatever." An awkward silence took over the conversation.
"Wow. Awkward silence. Did you know that everytime an awkward silence happened, a gay baby was born?"
"And a women somewhere is having a baby, and another is making a baby."
"Well, im neither." I took an enormous gulp of milk. I could feel the cool drink quench my thirst throughout my body.
He chuckled. "Besides, people aren't gay by birth. They are gay by choice."
I didn't respond. This conversation wasn't going too well. We were friends for maybe four years now. We knew everything about each other. Sometimes I make jokes that he is my girlfriend and I am his boyfriend because we are just that close. I watched him get up as I took my last gulp.
"What are you doing?" I asked as he flipped through his wallet.
"I'm about to take you home, and I'm about to pay."
"Why do you need to pay? Why do you need to take me home? I am doing perfectly fine walking."
"I see how well that's going." He looked at my soaked body. "Now, just get in the car so I can take you home," he said sturnly as he slapped the money down on the table and stood up. He crossed his arms, but I could see he was trying not to laugh.
As I stood up, I felt so short. He was six foot three, and I was five foot four. "No," I said straight into his brown eyes. "Why can't I just walk? Why can't I pay? Why can't I..."
"Why can't you shutup so I can take you home?"
He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I wiggled and kicked, but I never seemed to touch the ground.
He got to the car and dumped me into the passenger's seat.
He slammed my door, walked around the car, then sat in the driver's seat. I looked at him like I was trying to set him on fire with my eyes.
"Yes?" He acted as though everything was all fine and giddy.
"Don't talk to me." Even though I said that, by the time we got to the first light, I started telling him everything.
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