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 Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 8:36 pm
Guys, I'm like crying right now I am so frustrated. I have this 8 page ((not including title or reference pages)) ******** paper to do that is due in two weeks. Tomorrow at 11:59 EDT a rough draft is due, but, I'm not even worried about that part, it's only worth 5 points and I can blow it off if I need to-- what I'm worried about is that this assignment COMPLETELY CONTRADICTS ITSELF and I have no ******** idea what the ******** to do.
It SAYS it is a "Reflective Essay"... but it's NOT A ******** REFLECTIVE ESSAY. The ******** TA ((the one that grades our writing s**t)) says that we have to relate a real life experience in it... but that the experience is NOT THE FOCUS of the paper-- So it's not a ******** reflective essay, you dumb b***h.
"The paper should demonstrate the application of a real-life experience or future scenario by first choosing a communication topic of interest, then addressing your topic with at least three (3) of the learning outcomes from this class."
HOW DO YOU REFLECT ON A FUTURE SCENARIO? WHAT THE ********? And how the hell can we write about the ******** learning outcomes if we're only HALFWAY THROUGH THE ******** CLASS.
I don't know what I am going to do. I'm like shaking hardcore right now because I really can not fail but I really don't know what the ******** to write either. I can usually bullshit like two pages, but eight ******** pages?
Jesus ******** christ, I need a new life. REROLL PLEASE?
Oh and not only do I have to worry about this ******** 8 pages monstrosity of ******** impossibleness, I have to do a research paper that is due in one week as well. ******** yay-- but I can't quit school because I can't afford to start paying the loans. ******** A.
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:00 pm
So, I don't even know if I'm going in the right direction here but this is what I decided on.
"The Parent Factor" ((Possible title?)) <--- Topic is "communicating with one's parents."
1) Understand the impact of gender and culture on interpersonal communications.
2) Describe the process by which self-concept is developed and maintained.
3) Recognize how self-concept and defensive and supportive messages and behaviors create positive and negative communication climates.
^--- The three 'learning outcomes' I chose.
So, how can I make that into eight pages? Arghh...
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:08 pm
I'm just going to talk it out, and pretend that I'm talking to you guys, even though no one really gives a flying ********. Maybe that will work.
Anyway, to start with generalities... no 'real life' s**t yet.
1) Understand the impact of gender and culture on interpersonal communications.
Gender has a huge impact on how parents and children communicate with each other throughout the whole life of the relationship. In general, women identify more with their mothers, and men identify more with their fathers-- this is a natural concept, and common because men and women think differently. Also, men and women look up to their gender counterparts as role models as how they should act within their own gender, and that helps to form their perceptions and self concepts.
Culture also has an impact on how parents and children communicate with each other-- even though both parties are living in the 'present' culture, parents come from a period of time at least twenty to thirty years prior to the birth of their children. They will have learned certain ways to act that differ than how the present day culture acts. This becomes more relevant as the child grows into adulthood and has different ideas on how things should be than their parents have.
Not only that, but world culture dictates how children and parents interact. In some countries children are meant to be 'seen and not heard' and are given strict guidelines on how to act within their culture-- while in other countries children are given free reign to foster their interests and develop as they will.
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:15 pm
2) Describe the process by which self-concept is developed and maintained.
Self concept is how you think and feel about yourself. From the time of your birth until you enter school most of your self concept is based on how your parents react to you and interact with you. Your parents are the foundation of your self concept. Even after you enter school and add your peers, friends, teachers, and other people you come into contact with-- your parents will still be the main entity directing your self concept. If you have a bad relationship with your parents, or if your parents are verbally abusive, non-communicative, or hard to please, you may end up with a poor self concept that will affect you until you choose to let those negative feelings go and change your concept yourself. Conversely, if you have a good relationship with your parents, and they are supportive and understanding, you will generally find yourself with a good self concept.
This relates to communicating with your parents because those with a poor self concept will find it difficult to have meaningful communication with their parents. They may find themselves arguing, bottling up, or rebelling against their parents, as opposed to talking-it-out and solving conflict in a healthy way.
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:30 pm
3) Recognize how self-concept and defensive and supportive messages and behaviors create positive and negative communication climates.
Defensive communication occurs when one person tries to defend themselves against the remarks or behaviors of another. The problem with defensive communication is that we are so caught up in defending ourselves that we are not thinking about resolving the problem or being open to what the other person is thinking or saying.
There are a few different kinds of Defensive/Supportive communication.
Evaluation vs Description: Evaluative statements include a judgment. If this judgment is negative it is easy to be taken the wrong way. Instead of make an evaluative statement, try to make a descriptive statement which will more likely end up in a resolution:
E: I can't stand when you eat all my eggs!
D: When I woke up this morning I noticed that my eggs were gone.
Control Vs Problem Solving
This one is easy to explain. People respond negatively when they think that someone is trying to control them. In general, instead of telling someone what to do and having that be the end-all and breeding resentment, it is much better to put your heads together and find a solution to the problem together.
Strategy Vs Spontaneity
Strategy, as defined in my text, is basically manipulating someone into doing what you want them to do by playing on their feelings. Instead of trying to trick someone into doing something for you, it is better to voice how you feel and then ask honestly for help or feedback.
Neutrality Vs Empathy
When dealing with feelings and emotions it may be better in most cases to show empathy instead of neutrality. Neutrality is 'looking at both sides' of the picture. When people share their feelings they are looking to relate to whom they are telling, for a more positive relationship empathy can be employed before finding a solution.
Superiority Vs Equality
This is very similar to control vs problem solving, except in this case the person you are dealing with feels that they are superior to you. Even in a case of parent-child where the parent-role is generally accepted to be superior to the child-role, you will always get a more positive response if you look for a solution or compromise together instead of taking a "My way or the highway" approach.
Finally,
Certainty Vs Provisionalism
Some people believe that they are always right and that what they think is how things are and that is the end of that! When communicating with a person like this you will find it very difficult to voice your point of view because they are not interested in hearing it-- what they say is correct, no matter what you have to say. A good way to avoid being this way is to always keep your mind open to the views of others even if you don't agree with them-- there is no harm done in listening to them, and you strengthen the relationship.
Defensive communication situations occurs a lot in parent-child communications-- I could give many examples, but I think I'll save that for my "Real life experience" crap s**t stuff. rolleyes
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:39 pm
Resolving conflict in a healthy way:
Parents and children would have much healthier relationships and much happier home lives if more supportive communication was practiced along with proper conflict resolution:
There is a useful model for resolving conflict.
In the first stage, intrapersonal evaluation, each person analyzes the problem alone. They think about how they feel about the problem and how they would describe the other person's behavior and what the facts of the situation are.
In the second stage, they get together and work out a definition of the problem together. At the end of this stage both people should agree on the facts of the problem.
In the third stage the people should talk about shared goals. The needs and desires of both parties as they pertain to the problem.
Next, the parties will come up with possible solutions to the problem.
then the parties must pick a solution or make a compromise
and finally after some time has past, re evaluate the solution. Is it still working? does it need more discussion?
This is a model that would make many parent-child relationships run more smoothly.
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:43 pm
How do I make this into EIGHT ******** PAGES? In 23 hours. xD
I feel a little bit better. I have at least some background crap written down that maybe I can expand and bullshit. Most of that was paraphrased from the textbook, which I'll have to cite... but we'll see. Hm...
My "REAL LIFE BULLSHIT" will probably be examples of how my own parents ((and myself!)) used defensive communication while I was growing up.
but I dunno... I still feel like... I'm going in the complete wrong direction. Like, I don't feel like this is a reflective essay... but technically its NOT a reflective essay... even though that is what its called...
so I am so wicked anxious. @_@
Anyone wanna write it for me? I'll give you A MILLION GAIA GOLD. xD
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 10:00 pm
Going to freewrite it tomorrow during Ian's morning nap, and then edit the freewrite when I get home from work tomorrow.
AND I BETTER DO IT OR I'LL KICK MY OWN a**.
Thank god it's just a rough draft. Thank ******** God. Then Tuesday I get to do a research paper. Going to try to do that all in one night. Then I can work on this monstrosity for like an hour a night... and it should all work out...
hopefully... >.>
So much s**t to do. Two weeks to do it. Roar.
BUT THEN... HISTORY CLASSES! TWO IN A ROW! YAY biggrin
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Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 10:01 pm
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT, GUYS, I LOVE YOU TOO.
I miss the thread >.>
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 1:49 am
Sounds good to me Ana, but then again, I'm not totally sure what your course is all about...
You've made some excellent points, some of which made me think and compare to my own life, so, if anything, that's something to be proud of.
The one thing I'd like to suggest is that you pretend you have all the time in the world while you do it tomorrow. That way you are mostly free from the stress that comes with it. If you try to do it all at once without trying to think in a more positive way, you'll be more likely to burn out with stress. Make sure to take a good few breaks as well.
Also, might I suggest you reference psychological studies? There are plenty of them available and they'd probably make it look like you have a wide knowledge of the topic. Freud is an obvious start point, but he might not necessarily be the best for this particular essay since his beliefs were basically what you're writing, but for the opposite reasons. Bandura's Bobo Doll experiment might be a good study to look at if you want to include ways to explain a child's future personality compared to what they witness as children.
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 6:35 pm
Thanks, Kejo. smile <333 Appreciate the thoughts~
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:41 pm
4 pages down, bitches! biggrin
about an hour left until turn-in time. I THINK I CAN DO IT. <3
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:50 pm
Good luck Ana! If you need any help, PM me. (No guarantees, my computer's been wonky lately. gonk ) But I know you can do it!
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:59 pm
6 pages now and I haven't even gotten to the conflict management control part yet so whooooooo~ Just finishing up on Certainty vs Provisionalism~
THANKS EZZIE biggrin
This is only the rough draft, thankfully, though. It doesn't have to be perfect~
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 8:00 pm
What is making this really difficult is that Ian isnt sleeping well due to it being SO HOT in his room so I currently have him on my bed with the AC on but he keeps rolling around and im afraid hes going to fall aso I ahve to keep looking back at him. @_@
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