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 Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:15 pm
yeah... i guess everyone has their reasons for joining this guild, huh? well, mine is because since i was six years old, i have been sexually abused by my father. that's right, dear ol' dad. ha.... everyone always has called me daddy's girl... that hurt, but they didn't know why my dad kept such a close eye on me, and i was scared to tell them. he... he made me do alot of s**t... it hurt alot to tell the story to keith, so... i'm not ready to tell it to everyone yet, sorry.... but i guess it will help to get what i can down before the police interviews and stuff huh?
yeah, that sight that is in that sticky... i reported my dad there... actually i have a really good friend named jessica who did it for me. now we are just waiting for them to do... whatever it is that they are gonna do. i will keep posting in here parts of the story, but i need to think out what i am gonna say and what i am gonna keep to myself first...
(january 9th adding to what i have already said smile
my dad opoligized to me once, he claimed that he probebly did what he did because he was sexually molested as a child... that hurt me... because i know that because of what he did to me, i will NEVER do anything like that to my child... i will feel guilty even changing their clothes... because it will make me think... what if i am doing hurts them... emotionally.... pyscologically... what if i brake them mentally....
well, i know that i am probably over stepping my bounds of being okay in what i say, but he made me do almost everything he could do for the only evidence to be what i said.... he made me do everything he could without leaving proof..... i was forced to give him hand jobs and head so many times over the years..... he touched me...everywhere and said some really bed things to me. my DAD asks me very inapropriate questions.... about me and my boyfriend... about my friends... i know that he has slept with other women over the years.... i fear constantly that he might be hurting my sister who just turned 9 in august... i am afraid thst she nlaims me for what has happened or she will...
i have three brothers...sean is weak... both pysically and mentally... he's 20.... tillman is 14...he is almost as weak... but far more aragant... and he is very close to me, so i know that it will break him, cause he'll want to do something about it..... nait is almost 18... 5 months... he is weaker than he thinks... both mentally and pysically, but he is strong.... he has been my rock a few times for other things, but for this, i know that i cannot count on him... he will be gone... either with his friends or trying to kill my dad....
i have been told many times that i am strong. it takes alot to break me... that is one thing that i can thank my dad for... making it hard for people to get close enough to brake me.... but at the same time, because of that, it makes it hard for me to let people get close enough to let them know that they mean alot to me and that i love them for what they have done to help me.... less now that i have started telling people why i was the way i was...
i have always been the quiet kid.... i never liked people paying attention to me... but.... i need to get used to it i guess.... it is a part of life.... and keith wants to move to san fransisco....lots of people... i need him to lean against mentally to make it throu this... and i need him for the rest of my life... i hope... he is the reason i even came out with my secret.... and he will be there for me when i need a person to hold me... he is what i cannot get online... sorry lain... there is a difference between the net and the real world... touch... closeness... getting hurt by the ones you love... and being held by those who love you...
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:36 pm
I am so sorry. Being sexually abused by someone who helped bring you into the world must be hard. I'm so sorry. -hugs meow meow-
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 12:42 am
I'm so sorry for what happened to you. heart No parent should ever do to their children what your father did to you.
Keep us posted if you're comfortable with it, we're here to talk if you feel like you need support.
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 8:17 am
*Hugs.* If you ever need someone to talk to you can talk to me.
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 5:29 pm
thanks you guys....
i will keep you guys posted and i will have one of my friends get on my account if i can't and tell you what is going on and when the police do what and stuff.... i will add more to the first post as i feel it will benifit me to be able to tel the story to someone....
~hugz everyone who offered their suport~
thank you
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:48 pm
hey you guys... mmkm got ban from gaia.... this is her new account... so PM me... or her... or...meow...
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:50 pm
thats horrible, that man needs an a** kicking the size of texas. and now you've got me in a bad mood from all this, just perfect stare . But on a more serious note i must say i'm sorry for what has happened to you, and remember violence is the answer to everything.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 10:59 pm
I really sorry for what happen. I know that'll take a VERY long time for you to forgive your father. Just keep your chin up, be strong. if you need anyone to talk to I'm always online everyday.
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 10:23 am
Hello I am mmkms boy friend I have a update. she is at CPS and her dad is in jell he has been convicted of 5 counts of molestation. I am happy to say she is safe. She wont be online even with her new account because she has no comp at the CPS building. I will keep udateing this for her tll she comes back. If there are any questions you can PM me. thank you for your suport she needs it.
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 11:59 am
Thank you for the update. I'm sure we are all glad to hear that she is safe and doing well.
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 6:41 pm
I remember her mentioning that she'd reported him. Please tell her we're glad she's safe now, and that we hope she is doing well in CPS. heart
Do keep us updated!
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:17 pm
I'm glad she reported him, I am very proud of her.
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 11:37 pm
i know first hand how that feels. being abused is something that i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. when i was six, my anuts, bf's, cousin moved into the house that my mom brother and me lived in. he started to touch me in ways that i didn't understand. there was only one bathroom and when ever i would take a shower, he would go in there to watch me. i tried to wear different articles of clothing thinking that if he wasn't able to touch me with pants then i would wear them forever.
but he did
i told my mom when i was no longer able to walk. i heard her crying and slamming the wall from the upstairs bedroom.
she pressed charges, but the cops didn't take her seriously. he got away with what he did.
im now 19 and i have an8 month old baby boy. i know that i would never hurt my child the way that i was hurt. i trust my bf with the baby because i know and love him.
i wouldn't lie, you can never really get over something like that. there will always be a sound a smell something that will remind you of what he did. what i can tell you is that i did move on and that im happy.
soon, you will be able to move on and you will to be happy.
if you need anyone to talk im here to lend support.
stay strong
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:27 am
Update: ok I dont have much but Her dad I guess amited to what he had done. mmkm or CNS is soon going to be living with her antie Kathi. I love CNS and want to be with her fora long time if not forever. The hardest thing was making her report him and not hurting him but I know she will be happier because of it. She is going to be living 2 or 3 hours away from me but I think we will be ok. Wish us luck and I hope the next post will be from her. Thank you all for suporting her she has needed it and I think will continue to need it.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 7:28 am
That's awesome! I'm happy for you both smile
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