Flora followed Lawley through the woods; he'd said he'd wanted to talk with her so she kept quiet and continued on. Just sort of watching him. She'd missed him so much; she was so happy to see him back again. She'd hated not being able to see him; or play with him; or talk with him at all. She was almost afraid to say anything; like it would frighten him off and he'd be gone in an instant.

He'd been back in the Court for a little while, but lingering along the edges, observing more than interacting. It was as if he was afraid that the slightest touch of his presence would cause the delicate balance to fall to pieces again. Still, he smiled weakly back at his sister. "...You look well. So does Robin."

She smiled at him weakly; and pulled in closer to him; nuzzling him gently; tenderly. Not sure if he would want her too or not; hating that he'd been gone for so long. "Thanks Lawley... I missed you a lot." She murmured to him quietly. "and Robin... I don't know how Robin is... he's barely around either."

Lawley leaned into her slightly, willing to forget for now his frustration. When the two of them were alone, it was better. He loved her as he ought to. It was only when all the others entered the picture that he started to... Well, never mind. Maybe she'd know the answer to something that had troubled him. "I've seen him with Sommer quite a bit. Are the two of them close?"

Flora pulled back slightly and looked at him with a confused glint in her eyes. "Close? What do you mean? I haven't seen them together... But I mean. Like I said; I haven't seen Robin around much... he's always off in the forest. But I mean... so has Sommer.... why?"

...So she didn't know, or hadn't noticed. "Never mind." He forced his tone to stay light and casual. It wasn't as if he had any kind of evidence beyond his own suspicions, anyway. Maybe it was just a perverse kind of wishful thinking... the thought that maybe Ivy had changed her mind after all. "Anything I missed?"

Flora thought about it for a few moments; trying to think of anything too interesting to tell him. "Um... oh! speaking of Sommer; he told me he really liked me the other day. Like... I think he wanted to tell me he loved me. It was a bit odd." She shrugged her shoulders about it all though. "I don't think he meant it though cause he said he liked a lot of other girls too... And... well I tried to tell Robin that and he kind of blew up at me..." She got a sincerely hurt look on her face remembering the conversation. "There were a few more fawns that have popped up... but that's about it..." She looked up at him and replaced the frown with a smile. "What have I missed with you? Why did you leave?"

Lawley flinched slightly at the last question, eyes downward. Crap. What to tell her, what to tell her... He couldn't lie to Flora. Not to her face. And yet - the full truth would be... "I got in an argument with Mom. Kind of. It's a long story." He couldn't meet her eyes, shuffing his front hooves awkwardly as he struggled to find the right words.

Flora's eyes searched his face and she nosed at him; putting her head underneath his chin and pressing into him like she would with her father. "Lawley... what could you and mom have gotten into such a big fight about that you would leave us like that.... I was so worried about you Lawley. I missed you so much..."

Lawley closed his eyes for a moment, then pulled back slightly and shook his head. "...Flora. I know that you - well, last time we talked, there were a lot of Herla who liked you, but none you'd chosen over any other. But... imagine if someone were to tell you that you had to not like some of them that way, just because of how they were born. And - and it doesn't /matter/ whether you actually like them that way or not, or whether you have a chance with them, because just knowing that you don't even have the /option/ is - that someone else gets to decide who you get to love..."

Flora lifted her head removing it from underneath Lawleys chin and tilted her head. Not quite getting what he was saying. Or even what he was talking about... had he loved someone? And not been allowed to? But they were fawns at the time... how could he have been in love? maybe he had a crush on someone... She shook her head; just confused all around. "Lawley... what are you.... what are you talking about?"

"...I'm sorry." He paused, drew a deep breath. "Let me start over. I... Remember when we were yearlings, and I ran off for a little while? It's because I... realized something about myself, and I told Mom, and she said that if I was that way, she'd disown me and Dad would flip out. And I guess I kind of... panicked."

Her face fell when she heard him tell her that. Trying to think of what he could have possibly told their mother that would have made her say that... she loved them so much... that's what she'd always beieved after all... there was only one thing that would get her so upset... "Did you tell her... you didn't like girls?" She asked nervously; chewing at her lower lip.

"Oh, don't you start too!" he snapped, stepping back a few paces and ears flattening back in annoyance. "It's like none of you even CONSIDER the possibility that a Herla could be just plain bisexual!"

Flora's eyes widened in surprise and her mouth opened slightly in surprise. "Oh Lawley I'm sorry~ I didn't know... I mean... how could I? I mean... everyone around here are either gay or straight as far as I know... how could I know there's an inbetween?"

Lawley sighed and shook his head. "It's... it's all right. Just... I've been struggling with myself, trying to figure out who I really am. And I keep coming up with the thought that...." He looked away, weary and distant. "That maybe I'll never love anyone, or be loved by anyone."

Flora felt her heart sink when he told her that. To think that her brother could have that fear... She took a step closer to him; nervously and reached out her nose tentatively; almost afraid that he wouldn't want her too. "I love you Lawley." She told him honestly. "I mean... I know it's not like what you mean... but I do love you. And... how could you know if no one loves you if you aren't around more?"

A heavy sigh, and he touched his nose to hers. "I know... And thanks." Still, at her second comment, he glanced away. "That's just it, Flora... I am around. I'm here. It's just... No one sees me. It's easy for you - it's always been easy. I don't know how you do it."

Flora thought about that for a minute and laid her head on his neck. "They only played with me becuase they thought I was pretty Lawley." She told him feeling that honestly. "And when we got older... they only talked to me becuase they wanted to be with me like mom is with dad. A few of them have told me how they feel... and once I told them I didn't like them like that... they stopped talking to me." She sighed and held him close. "Atleast you know Chesterfield likes you for you."

Lawley leaned his cheek into Flora's gently, not pulling away anymore. "I... I don't really understand her, but I appreciate her company. The rest are just... I don't feel a connection with anyone else our age. And I don't feel like I can talk to Dad about it... or Mom, anymore."

FLora nodded her cheek staying there against him and thought about it quiet like for a moment. "Well then how do you know if you like boys or girls if you don't feel strongly about any of them? Maybe you do just like girls... just there aren't any around that catch your fancy?" She said nervously; just wanting to try and think up some way to make it all better... with out having to choose between her family.

Lawley flushed beneath his fur, feeling his skin heat up just at the mention. "There was - there was one hart. Older. I, um. It sounds really stupid, saying it aloud, and I know I don't have a chance with him or anything. It's just that - thinking about him makes me feel all... I don't know." Never mind the dreams, either. There had been a few dreams with Chesterfield AND Nara at the same time and oh dear, that had been enough to keep him well away from Mom and Dad until those stopped.

Flora let out a breath and wasn't really sure what to say at this point. "Please Lawley... please don't hate me for this but... could you try your hardest not to feel that way about him? I don't want to have to choose between you and our parents... and I know it's selfish to want... but I like having you around..." Her heart felt like it constricted and it was getting hard to breath. She didn't want to feel like one of her brothers hated her... and at this point she felt so guilty now for always playing with the other boys instead of her brothers.

Inside, his heart skipped a beat, then dropped. For a moment there... he'd thought that Flora might understand. Well, never mind. He'd just... lock it away. Never speak of it again. "Not much chance of anything actually happening, anyway... He's taken, and so far above my standing that I doubt he remembers I exist." His head drooped slightly, without him really noticing.

"Oh lawley~ don't think like that!" She told him nuzzling him gently and trying to press him to lay down so that she could comfort him better that way. "I mean... if he's already taken then he probably doesn't think of you like that either... but... I bet he notices you. You're hard to miss; or forget." She told him firmly licking his cheek in a loving manner. "You've got moms flaming red hair after all. That's hard to forget." She smirked at him; trying her best to make him feel better.

"True... I guess." He lay down next to her, head drooping slightly, sky-blue eyes on the ground. "I guess I'm just confused. When I'm on my own, everything is simpler. I don't have to worry about anything except where I'm going, and where I'll find my next meal."

Flora lay her head over his own; like she did with everyone else; just sort of holding him close. "That sounds nice Lawley... I wish I could just leave like that sometime... but what happens if you get lonely?" She asked a bit scared. not knowing what she would do with out someone by her side to chase away the nightmares for her.

He frowned slightly, thoughtful. "I guess... I didn't really get that lonely. I mean, whenever I felt alone, I could always just go back to the Court and see you guys, even if you were busy with your own things. Just seeing you was enough. And there were the animals and plants of the forest - how can you be lonely when you're surrounded by life?"

Flora tried to imagine that; but wasn't really sure how he could think of it like that... But it sounded nice. You couldn't make flowers angry. The grass can't be hurt... trees can't be disappointed... And when the sky cried it was a good thing. She frowned as all of those thoughts went through her head.. She'd never thought of something like that.... "I wish I could have known that before... all I have to talk to was Sommer... but he doesn't talk to me much anymore... and Robin is barely around... and when we talk... he tells me I'm always judging. I think that you had the right idea of it all Lawley."

Lawley shook his head. "No... It felt right at the time. But I'm just running in the end, aren't I?" With a small sigh, his voice lowered to a quieter tone. "I have to admit... I'm jealous. That you stayed. That, even if things went wrong, everyone knows you. They can't help but know you."

"I don't like being known anymore... because now everyone expects me to act a certain way... I can't think about myself with out hurting someone... It's so hard..." She bit her lip and nuzzled Lawley regretting what she'd just said. "I'm sorry... that's a stupid thing to say. Just... Everyone thinks they know me... they don't really know me... I don't even know me..."

Lawley shifted a little, uncomfortably, but nodded. "I know what you mean. It's strange, how the people you thought were close to you, can turn out to be not what you expected..." He gave her a small smile, and nuzzled her cheek. "But you and me, we'll always be family."

Flora smiled a soft sort of sad smile at Lawley; she beleived him when he told her that; and sometimes she wasn't so sure if she could beleive Robin when he said it... becuase he always seemed dissapointed in her. "Thank you Lawely..." She told him nuzzling against her brother full of love and appreciation; it was nice to know for a matter of fact that she'd always have someone there for her who wouldn't tell her she shouldn't think like that; or didn't have a right to... even if he'd left and could very well leave again.