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Kaname Kyoto

Handsome Bibliophile

PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:31 pm


User Image

Name: Glen Michaels

Nickname: N/A

Age: 16

Birthday: March 25

Sign: Aries

Gemstone: Aquamarine

Blood Type: A+

Fav. Food: Italian Cuisine and Stroganoff

Hated Food: Anything and everything that is bland.

School: Hillworth

Hobbies: Debate: He enjoys any outlet he can find for his anger, and a debate team seemed like a good idea at his former school. He can argue and defend up and down any topic, though he doesn't particularly enjoy the research that comes with it. (*Self memo-study debate) It also gives him the chance to try strategizing, forming a plan. He has currently not joined a debate team

Movies: Glen enjoys movies such as thrillers, psychological suspense and murder movies. He's watched Shutter Island at least ten times and Unusual Suspects...well, he wouldn't be very sure. He enjoys older movies too, but surprisingly enough, it's old fashion horror movies he enjoys, by the likes of Vincent Price. He complains about current horror movies, saying they just have too much cgi to be really scary. And don't get him started on the recent onslaught of remakes. He and his cousin watch them together, so it's mostly Nicky (his cousin) who is the victim of his complaints, but they both tend to give as good as they take. He's thought about making a sort of blog though, or perhaps a podcast.

Cooking: Though he is difficult to get along with and protrudes an air of danger, he does possess a softer side, which emerges as cooking. A skill taught to him by his dad in his earlier years, both as a way for Glen to be able to take care of himself when older and to bond, Glen uses it now to control his mood whenever something particularly annoying bothers him or he's been in another fight. It's also a very sentimental thing to him, thinking of all the times he spent cooking with his dad and occasionally his mom. He cooks for himself and his father somedays, and maybe his aunt and cousin if they come to visit, he has also considered cooking classes, mostly because he's interested in making pastries lately.


Virtues:

What's good about me?

Ambitously Determined:Glen tries to be the best,in hopes of soothing his low self-esteem. He's trying to reach for the top, to be sometihng his mother can be proud, out of sheer determination to impress her. When he fails it's a strong blow at his self-esteem, and he becomes more pushy, more determined to be heard and seen.

Assertive If Glen has learned anything, it's that you have to make yourself heard to reach for anything, do everything it takes but within the parameters of the law. He feels this mindset will benefit him in his chosen career path of being a policeman, so long as he doesn't push going to juvvie, and the reason he din't fight his transfer to Hillworth. He's alwas willing to take risks though, if he has to. Another thing he feels makes a good cop or detective.

Risk-taker: The need to put just a bit of risk is always there. It's an act of rebellion against his mother and father probably, but it does benefit and he doesn't entirely toe the line of the law, knowing if he was arrested even once, his planned career path would never be seen to fruition. Though, if he can help at least one kid from bullying off campus, that makes him feel better. But risk requires diligence, which he has in abundance. And patience, which is improving.


Flaws:

What's bad about me?

Possessive: Glen has a terrible possessive streak towards any close friends or family, often times becoming jealous when they associate with anyone but him. And not just a passive aggressive jealousy, a rather violent, ‘punch you in the face if you even look at my friend/family that way again’, way. Oddly, he’s not this way towards material possessions, just people.

Short-Tempered: It’s not very hard to make Glen mad, and just as difficult to cool him down. Most everything will set him off too. Bad food, bad novels, movies that he's pretty sire are telling him something negative, others being weak and lacking the drive to accomplish goals or stand up for themselves. This more than likely has to do with Glen's own skewed perception of himself, and is transfereing his negative feelings towards himself onto others.

Arrogant: To protect himself he has developed a supreme arrogance,letting everyone believe he is better than everyone else. Alot of it comes from an exaggerated form of how he percieves his mothers interactions with him, and a small portion comes from watching movies and learning how to create a mask, acting just like the mean, in power character. He becomes more virtiolic, antagonistic the closer one gets to cracking through.
PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:36 pm


User ImagePHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Gray, almond shape

Hair: Blond , Jagged hair, almost in a windmill

Face: A oval shaped face, soft features, does not have high cheek bones. No

freckles, small ears.



Senshi: Sailor Naos

Challenge:In pursuit of liberty!

Fuku Colour:

Main Color: An eerie, bright, and soft blue based off the hue of his star.
Secondary Color: Has equal amounts of the following two colors: A darker but still

soft hue of his primary color, close to navy, and a stormy and smooth dark gray.

Fuku:

Collar --
He has a plain, dark blue sailor collar with a dark gray stripe outlined with thinner dark

blue stripes as the trimming. This gray stripe has a thin and black zigzag design

reminiscent of triangles, pointy teeth, or a zipper. The back points of his collar have a

large, gray zipper key each.

Bow --
The bright blue bows are a bright blue and droopy, the singles strips much longer than the

loops. The bow on his chest reaches the middle of his stomach while the bow in the back

reaches his knees. The larger bow also has a small hole through the single strips an inch

from the ends.

Bodice --
A simple white and short-sleeved T-shirt with a blue trim on its collar is underneath the

actual bodice; it is only visible above the collar. The actual bodice is white with a blue

trim on the bottom. Two seams go down his front, and two more go down the back. On each

side, a small triangle is cut from the bottom. The trim follows it.

Sleeves --

The sleeves are connected to the bodice and are white. They are about four inches in length

and rather loose. They hold the same trim as the collar.

Brooch --

None.

Bottoms -- Blue shorts with wide, black pockets and zipper designs at the bottom



Tiara --

No (intended for super)

Choker --

A plain, white, inch-wide choker.

Shoes --

He wears white socks. His shoes are bright blue converse with white and dark blue outlines

and white laces.

Gloves -- Long, dark and light blue striped gloves



Accessories --

Tiny, silver, hoop earrings that fit snuggly to his ears.



Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack: Liberty dispelling beam!
A blue glowing short range beam attack, shot from the jewel on the left hands arm warmer, that dispels a basic status effect caused by a Negaverse lieutenant or Dark Senshis skill onto a fellow Senshi, giving them the liberty to attack.

(+)
Can reach up to 2 to 3 feet
Dispells lieutenant level attack on nearest afflicted ally
Attack negates moves by equal level opponent
Has 3 uses


(-)
Can cast for only 20 seconds
Attack only works on lieutenant level/Level 1 dark senshi moves


Super Sailor Scout Attack: Liberty super dispell beam!
The beam has a slightly longer range and increased radius now, and can dispel a Negaverse Captain or Dark senshis skill and liberate a fellow Senshi, it has a strong effect when used against a Lieutenant/ lvl 1 dark senshis attack as well. It can be shot once through the left arm warmers jewel, and again from the right arm warmers jewel. The jewels at this point have also been shifted to the palms, in this phase of the outfits design.


(+)
Can reach up to 5 to 7 feet
Dispells lieutenant level attack on nearest afflicted ally
Attack negates moves by equal level opponent
Has 2 uses

(-)
Can cast for only 30 seconds, even if shot in successio
Can be dispelled during incantation
Attack only works on Captain level/Level 2 dark senshi moves


Eternal Sailor Attack:Liberation of all!

A long range, wide radius beam, shot simultaneously through both arm warmer jewels, which, at this stage, remain placed on the palms. It can dispel attacks from from Lieutenants, Captains and Generals at a 70/30 rate and liberate an ally (2 at most), but has a much lower success rate when against a general-King/Queen, going down to a 20/80 chance of success. The same applies for Corrupted Senshi.


(+)
Can reach up to 9 to 12 feet
Dispells Same level attack on nearest afflicted ally, liberating them
Attack negates moves by equal level opponent
Attack Can now affect 3rd level Nega and Corrupted skills, as well as lower levels, at varying degrees of success
Has 1 use


(-)
Can cast for only 40 seconds even if shot in succession
Can be dispelled during incantation
Low chance against Kings/Queens, Negaverse and Corrupted

Kaname Kyoto

Handsome Bibliophile


Dark_Musashi

PostPosted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:30 pm


So, Naos is the senshi of Liberty?
Do you mind explain how these shields attack relate to the concept of liberty? I'm afraid it's hard for me to tell.
(By the way, I see your Eternal attack is essentially an upgrade of his Super Sailor one. You're free to do that, but keep in mind you can make his Eternal attack a different one; at this stage, Naos will be able to use a grand total of two attacks, unlike the previous ones.
Also, you should say how many times/how often his attacks can be used, and how long they last, as they can't last forever due to their nature.)
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 1:51 pm


Ah, alright. All taken into account (actually saw this the other day, I was just busy) And will be fixing that section c:

Kaname Kyoto

Handsome Bibliophile


Kaname Kyoto

Handsome Bibliophile

PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 9:46 pm


Posting this to remind myself to edit
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 1:08 pm


ON THE CIVILIAN:

Make sure your descriptions of his traits have at least four descriptive sentences. When they are too brief, it is difficult to get a real sense of Glen. Right now, most of your traits are falling below that guideline.

In DETERMINATION, you mention that he is very stubborn, but then you do not expound on that in his flaws. In AMBITION, you mention that he has low self-esteem, but then you also don’t mention that in his flaws. Also, on a general note, determined/ambitious/diligent are three very similar traits to the point that they are nearly synonyms for one another. Because the profile is already on the sparse side, this is a problem. You could combine all three of those into ONE solid virtue about him being AMBITIOUSLY DETERMINED and then add in two new ones that show us another side of Glen. I think this would really help bring him to life!

His flaws are also super polarized. I think you should consider toning down the rampant rage in this section. For someone who has such a penchant for kicking the crap out of people, I think you should add in some sort of MEAN STREAK or PRONE TO VIOLENCE flaw in his profile. And I really think you are missing that LOW SELF-ESTEEM flaw that you reference in the virtues. Maybe he is so quick to violence because he is really insecure about himself? Maybe all of this stems back to him wanted to have a reputation with his peers, even if it is a bad one? I would caution you against writing a totally violent, unfriendly student (just because it can make RPing with others a challenge at times if he only has this one-note persona), but that is your call!

Right now, all I know about Glen is that he is a super determined guy who will punch the s**t out of you at a moment’s notice. This is too narrow of a description of a person as it stands now. Flesh it out, and I think Glen could really come to life.

ON THE SENSHI:

I don’t see how a protective barrier connects with the sphere of liberty. Liberty is about freedom – why would that include an attack that is restrictive/barring? And why does Naos take damage within his attack? It is a shield that cannot shield him! As it is written, I don’t think this attack progression fits enough with his sphere to be stamped. It sounds more like the Senshi of Bells, since the focus of the attacks is structured around bell-shapes more than the idea of liberty.

Definition of Liberty
1. right to choose: the freedom to think or act without being constrained by necessity or force
1. freedom: freedom from captivity or slavery
2. basic right: a political, social, and economic right that belongs to the citizens of a state or to all people


I would suggest going back and finding a way to key into the idea of liberty and liberation. Maybe instead of a barrier, it does the opposite. Perhaps he is capable of remove all bindings from a target – ie, physical bonds or a spell that has bound someone? If you key into the first definition, maybe he can remove mental distractions, allowing an ally to think/react/move faster? All of these would, I think, fit more with the sphere of liberty. Your second attack was close, I think. I can see his attack having to do with “freeing” people from their enemies by teleporting them, but I think it needs to be included in his first attack (taking out the heavy focus on it as a shield) if you are going to stay on that course.

When you go to revise, make sure you include the following information in your attack description for all three levels:

- Casting Motion
- Physical/Mental Effect
- Duration of the Attack
- How many times it may be done in a single battle (please use this method instead of a timed method)
- How many people can he affect at once OR area of effect
- How it may be deflected/avoided

Happy revising!

Akina Tokuwa


Kaname Kyoto

Handsome Bibliophile

PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 7:13 am


Ah, pushing this up, and reminding myself to, oh, I don't know ACTUALLY UPDATE THIS ANJNLKMNRDFKR
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