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I wanted to try a story in medias res so I did:

Please C&C

The brakes screeched in antagonizing pain as they attempted to halt the speeding car. Nameless struggled and scrambled as the car careened off the road and onto the snowy country path with a sudden jolt.
Attempting to regain control, Nameless scrambled desperately from the back of the car where he had been thrown to the mangled mess of metal and glass that was the front. Successfully regaining control Nameless hastily slung the wheel in the direction of the road and prayed to god that he reached it before he crashed.
The car leapt back onto the road followed by a sickening helpless yelp.
Fearing he may have harmed something, Nameless carefully climbed out the broken passenger side window while attempting to avoid the spray of glass that covered the interior. As Nameless got close to the wheel of his car he became aware of a twisted mangled mass coating his tire. Upon closer inspection it was revealed to be blood. Looking around Nameless spotted the body of a Labrador Husky lying still in the centre of the road.

As he stood over the body of the dead dog Nameless couldn’t help but feel responsible. After all it was his car that had collided with the helpless animal and his bonnet it had rolled over.

1)I kept getting distracted by naming him so I named him Nameless

2)Normally I would have started with losing control of the car.Here I started just after that.


3)Indeed (What gave it away?)

Do Americans not use such words?

I see.When you asked me about Britishness I went back through and checked for references to tea and the queen biggrin

Trying to name "Nameless"

Hi there,

I'm new but hope I can be helpful.



What exactly is "antagonizing pain?" Antagonistic to what? Is this adjective necessary?



How did he successfully regain control? You have a great opportunity to show the character struggling for dear life against a rampaging machine and you've just smoothed over it.



Sickening and helpless seem like unnecessary adjectives here.



How did the car stop?

I think you have a lot of great description here but it's being cluttered with adjectives that attempt to color the scene and it can come off as a bit heavy-handed.

Hope this is helpful. xD

How about Jack? Or Paul?

Is this a character you want remembered? Do you have later plans for him? Do you want his name to say something about his character or keep him pleasantly ambiguous? All of these are important things to think about when naming a character. Names help feed into an effect, and they're an important part of the story. Simple names can be deceptively descriptive, because people reading oftentimes bring their own idea of the personality behind certain names.

I hope that makes sense...