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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 3:07 pm
In the deep forest there is a solitary patch of flowers; growing in a small clearing. Most herla don't know about it; but a small fawn does. Her gold hair shimmering in the rays of sun that are able to break through the trees and their leaves. She smiles to herself; happy with her find. A group of wild flowers that grow only here; in this one spot. The color of fire. Deep reds and oranges with tinges of yellow towards the outer most part of the petals.
For once in her life... Flora wasn't happy in this place. She felt so bad; like such an awful person. Was what her brother said true? Was she really self centered? Was she really hiding a bad person inside of herself? She'd only been trying to help him and it had blown up in her face. She sniffled not wanting anyone to see how sad she was; not wanting to have to explain why. And laid her head down. This was too much for her little heart to handle.
Did her brother hate her now? She wondered to herself for the then thousandth time. Did he not want her to be around? It felt like she'd lost him somehow... and she never saw her other brother anymore... she felt so alone.
She couldn't describe the pain she felt in that moment... it was like a weight was crushing and forcing her to stay down. Why had she'd said anything to him? She'd thought she was helping... but she was sure he hated her and didn't want anything to do with her.
She took in a sobbing; shuddering breath trying to curl in on herself. She didn't like this feeling of hopelessness; or this feeling of isolation. Who would love her as she was now? Unconditionally and never want anything in return?
Maybe if she were dead... then maybe they'd be better off with out her? But she was afraid to die; she didn't like pain... maybe she could get that angry faced herla to do it? He really didn't like her... Did her brother hate her as much as he did? She started to cry at that thought. Feeling as though she could never go back to the herd if she really was like what he said she was.
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 4:34 pm
'Where could she be?!' Kindle thought to himself as he started trotting through the forest, searching for signs of the golden haired hind. 'Gah! I've been gone so long, i've forgotten all the hidden pla...' skidding to a halt Kindle wanted to ram his head against a tree, of COURSE she's at the meadow, isn't that where he always went when he was upset? 'Idiot!'
Turning in the other direction, Kindle burst into a sprint to make up for the time he had lost.
It took a few minutes, and he was left gasping for air at the end of it, but he was there. "FLOOOORA!? FLORA!!!" he yelled out into the clearing, searching for the little girl he remembered.
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 4:46 pm
Flora buried herself deeper into the flowers that had grown much taller since summer had come. She could easily hide it when she was a fawn; and now it seemed at though the grass was trying to keep her there and protect her. She whimpered when she heard someone call out her name and she didn't reply. She didn't want anyone to see her like this.
She didn't want them to get upset either... and she didn't want to have to tell them why she was so upset; and tell who'd made her this sad...
Her ears went flat against her head in a pathetic manner as she listened to the fight in her head. The things she'd said to her brother; the things he'd called back to her... She was awful and she was so certain he hated her. She wanted to apologize but that only seemed to make it worse....
She started crying again and hated herself for it. She felt so weak now... it disgusted her.
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 4:58 pm
"FLOOOOOOOORA!" he called again. 'Where is she?!' he refused to believe that she wasn't there, so now he was worried that she was hurt or unconscious somewhere in the fields. 'Calm down Kindle, you can't help her by freaking out. Just think about it.' Taking a deep breath Kindle calmed himself down from the state of panic he was reaching. He started walking through the clearing, searching for signs that Flora was here, or had been here recently.
'Wait...what's...' he stops moving and tilts his head to better listen without the wind deafening him. 'Is that....crying? FLORA?!' He zeros in on the noise quickly, tracking it down to a patch of beautiful fiery flowers. 'Is she here?!' almost up to a panic again, having never heard Flora cry before he didn't know what to do about it. He gazed into the brightly colored flowers, searching for a physical sign of her. 'THERE!' he could see the top of her golden head.
"Flora?" he called to her, gently making his way through the flowers, trying to preserve their beauty. "Flora honey, it's Kindle, are you hurt?" His heart was beating a hundred miles an hour at the thought of Flora being sick or in pain.
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 5:22 pm
Flora whimpered when she heard Kindle say his name. Oh great; another person that had run away becuase they couldn't stand her. "Go away." She said weakly; her voice hoarse from sobbing and yelling last night. Her eyes were red and even her flowers seemed to be wilting with how upset she felt. She moved her face away from him; not wanting him to see how sad she was.
"I'm not hurt... I just want to be alone.... he hates me now... I just want to die...." She mumbled... trying to explain but not really doing a good job of it; her body shuddering with the awful thoughts going through her head. Her guardian trying to soothe her but doing a poor job of it.
They were both out of their league in this moment. Flora was suddenly an adult and the world seemed so much darker as a result... she just wanted to go crawl back into her thicket and stay there forever.
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 5:38 pm
His heart was breaking with the anguish in her voice. "Oh honey..." Screw the flowers, he wasn't going to let her lie there and cry herself sick. Stepping lightly, Kindle closed the remaining distance between them, and laid down next to Flora, not quite touching her, but there all the same.
"I'm not going anywhere Flora, not this time." He was still racked with guilty feelings about leaving before, he wasn't going to let her chase him away when she was in this much pain. "What happened? Who do you think hates you?" He held himself back from actually touching her just yet, he wasn't sure if it would be welcome. Looking for signs of damage on her tightly curled form, Kindle was caught off guard, 'Did...has she changed?' he found himself looking her over again, inspecting her for differences, but she was too tightly curled for him to see much.
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 6:01 pm
Flora closed her eyes tightly; he must really despise her.... when ever she saw someone was sad the first thing she did was cuddle them and nuzzle them into submission until they were alright again... but he wouldn't even touch her. Maybe he knew how much of a bad person she was... maybe he was disgusted by the real her... Her heart sank at that idea and it suddenly started to hurt ten times as worse.
She looked up at him with sad sorrowful eyes as she moved her head through the grass. "You." She told him straightforward; though not just him. But she did think he hated her; and deeply if he would have been gone for so long just becuase of her. "And one of the Herla I love most in the world... I tried to help him... but now I think he hates me... and now I know I'm a bad person." -starts sobbing all over again-
"I hate this~ I don't like being sad! But I can't stop! i feel like I've lost one of the most important things in my life! and that he'll never forgive me! and I don't want him to go and run away like you did! I don't want him to hate me tooo!" she sobbed; not taking time to breath; to overwhelmed by it all.
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 6:10 pm
So horrified that Flora thought he hated her, Kindle didn't even notice the changes as she looked at him. "Flora! No! I could never hate you!" Giving up on holding himself back, Kindle closed the gap between them, curling his longer body around her. "Never think that I hate you... I lo-" Shocked at what he was about to say to her, Kindle stopped awkwardly, at a loss of what to say after that blunder. Instead he tentatively nuzzled her behind her ear with his nose.
"Why do you think you're a bad person, love?" It was easier to throw the word around as a pet name. "What happened?" Curling even closer as sobs racked her delicate frame, he felt the guilt rage even higher as she revealed how hurt she was by him running away. "Oh Flora, I didn't leave because I hated you, I just...didn't know what to do. I-I had a problem that no one could help me with, but i'm here now, and I'm so sorry I let you think YOU were the reason I left." Sighing, he tightened his curl around her.
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 6:32 pm
Flora was surprised by how much better she felt when he curled around her; and she moved in closer to him; feeling safer somehow in the moment. "You don't hate me?" Was all she could focus on for those few moments... and when she realized that she felt that what her brother had said was even more true... she only cared about her own feelings and her own world. She laid her head down and curled it around his body instead of her own.
"Becuase he said that I wasn't really a good person on the inside... and it has to be true because he would never lie to me..." she whimpered against him; hiding her face into his big bulky frame. "I tried to help him... but I made it worse... i tried to apologize but i don't think he thought it was genuine...." She took in a shuddering breath; her sobs having subsided with the physical contact. "And he said that I was self centered..... and it hurts so bad becuase I only want to keep him safe like he keeps me safe...." Her whole body shuddered against him as if threatening them both with more sobs; but she pushed them back. "And he says I throw fits to get my way...."
There was such a hurt look on her face when she said that; to think that her brother would think so little of her; and have such awful thoughts against her...
When he curled tighter around her... she wasn't sure what to do or say... so she let him. Taking in deep breaths to try and calm herself out.
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 7:05 pm
"I couldn't hate you." His eyes sad at Flora's pain, he was quick to reassure her.
Sighing Kindle laid his head on top of hers, trying to comfort her with his presence. He took a moment to think about what she said, deducing what might have happened from the clues she left him. "This boy, it sounds like you and him got into a fight." He refuses to ask who it is, though he desperately wants to know why a BOY is hurting Flora. "Sometimes, when people are angry, they'll say things they don't mean. They're hurt or angry, and they want to hurt the person doing it to them...even if that person is only trying to help. This boy says you're self-centered? I say you're independent." Lifting his head from hers and tilting his chin down allowed him to nuzzle to top of her head, hoping that she'll understand.
"You are a good person Flora, you wouldn't be this upset, or feeling so bad if you weren't." Now trying to smile at her, "Did you think about the fact that you went and hid to cry? People who throw fits for attention do it where they can be seen, only you and I know about this clearing honey, and you had no idea i'd be back." Looking down at her slender frame, Kindle couldn't help but grow a little warm. 'How stupid was I, to leave her like that?' Sighing at his own idiocy, Kindle resolved to make up for it.
Nuzzling behind her ear again, Kindle gave his last bit of advice. "It pains me to say, but when we love someone, it's easier to hurt them. It happens to all of us, to my great shame... But because we love them, and they love us in return, we can work through it. "
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 7:24 pm
Flora looked up at him with wide reddened eyes; tears falling at random intervals now... barely one or two a blink. Her eyes seem to twinkle as he nuzzled her; and she nuzzled him back almost nervously. Still not quite sure if he really hadn't left becuase he'd hated her... but he was trying so hard to make her feel better... he must really not have hated her. She would have almost smiled if it hadn't been for how bad she still felt about her brother. "But that means I hurt him..." she said in a small voice; still nuzzling against him; unaware of it though. As if her body was somehow doing it on it's own... it did feel good though... She wondered why that was...
She didn't say anything about not throwing a fit out in the open... she'd be afraid to tell anyone she was said. "Don't tell anyone I was crying..." She told him nervously; stopping nuzzling him now. "I don't want them to know... cause then they'll want to know why I was crying... and... I don't want anyone to know...." Becuase then they'd get mad at him... and she'd rather die than be the reason someone was hurting her brother.
She lifted her head and licked Kindles cheek gently; not out of affection; not of liking or love; but because it was what she did. She comforted others with physical means. And she felt he needed to be comforted to. "Who did you hurt that you love Kindle?"
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 7:46 pm
Kindle was starting to realize the size difference between him and Flora wasn't as large as it used to be, but this is more important, so he pushed this realization into the back of his mind for now. "Yes, you hurt him. But he hurt you too." Kindle was pretty sure he knew who this boy was, only family causes this flavor of pain.
"You still love him, don't you? You could forgive him for hurting you? Because he will do the same. Once he's had a chance to think about why you fought, it really will be all right." Smiling and blushing as she nuzzled him back. It was becoming a little difficult to not think about the position they were in, so very close to each other. But Kindle was made of stronger stuff now, he'd wouldn't have come back otherwise.
"I won't tell anyone about what happens here Flora, this is our secret place. Everything and anything we do here is between us." He could give her this at least. Something no one else could share.
Leaning into her nuzzle/lick, Kindle felt his stomach drop as she asked a question. Of course she would ask...she always wanted to know how someone was hurting so she could make them feel better. "I-I..."
'Quick! Distract her!' his brain screamed at him. "F-Flora! You've grown out your hair!" Kindle throws the only thing he can think out there, not realizing how much else has grown.
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 8:02 pm
Flora smiled when he said that it would all be alright; and in that moment she beleived it. And her happy place was restored... but for some reason... she didn't want to leave here. She wanted to stay in this place with Kindle... wanted to know what he'd been doing! What he had seen! And... she wasn't ready to face her brother... not yet.
She nuzzled into him a small shy sort of smile on her face. Almost as if she was afraid to smile; as if that would mean she was happy with the situation; and had easily forgotten about her pain; or the pain she'd caused her brother. But... she couldn't help but smile now... Kindle had made her feel better after all. "Thank you Kindle~!" She exclaimed; a bit of a happier tone to her voice now as she nuzzled into his neck; underneath his chin happily; wiggling her little tail happily. Happy to know that this would their secret; that no one would know how sad she'd been
When he commented on how much her hair had grown she hauled herself to her feet smiling at him and trotting around in a circle. "My hair and my legs have grown out~" She giggled to him. "But you should see Ember! Her hairs so long! and Asher looks beautiful too <3" She smiled and nuzzled into Kindle again; happy to feel something other than that sadness. "But Kiiiindle~ you gotta tell me~ who did you hurt that you loved? please? I told you why I was upset!" -pouts at him-
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 8:27 pm
'...' His mind went blank as Flora stood up and trotted around. His mouth dropped open, and god help him there may even be some drool. "F-flora..?" That was all he had. Dammit! He needed to snap out of this, he didn't want her to think...well, to think that he didn't think she was the most gorgeous hind he had ever seen. Because she was.
"Flora...you're beautiful." He breathed, amazed that he could make even this short sentence.
'No! Distraction failed!' Of course, she was too smart for that. If he didn't tell her, she'd feel betrayed after what she had shared with him; but he couldn't...he didn't want to ruin what they had now. She was so beautiful, there was no way she would feel the same. She'd get a shocked look on her face, and nuzzle his cheek all the while letting him down easily.
Sighing, Kindle knew he didn't have a choice. He had already betrayed her trust by leaving her before, he couldn't do it again by holding back after she had opened up to him. "I-I wasn't strong enough for her. I couldn't deal with the feelings I had developed, and as she was much too young to even know what love was, I was afraid to take advantage of her. So I had to leave. I left her thinking that she was hated, when in fact it was the exact opposite. I loved her, but I couldn't tell that to a child ..." Looking away from Flora, Kindle felt his face flame up as all the shame he had felt before came rushing back. He desperately wanted her to understand he meant her, but that need warred with the hope that she'd misunderstand, and things could stay the same.
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 9:28 pm
Flora didn't really react to being called beautiful. It didn't matter to her after all; she heard that a lot from the males around her... but when he started to explain why he'd left; and she realized slowly but surely that she was the one he was talking about. And her smile faded; and a small frown replaced it. He loved her? Because she was beautiful? How could he love her? He didn't even know her... She wondered if it really was love he felt for her... or was it lust?
"You're talking about me aren't you?" She asked; nervous to hear the answer; her ears going down against her head; and her tail going between her legs. "How can you love me when you don't even know me?" She asked accusingly. Her voice taking on a bit of a quiver.
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