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Lavender, Lilac, Aphrodite can help you out.

I'm not sure about the herbs because i'm not crazy into herbal magicks so i have no input there. as for aphrodite, that is definitely the best choice. if you were a guy i'd have other choices but since you arent i'm assuming you wouldn't want a God's help as much as a Goddess. my expertise is stones in which case i beleive carnelian is a cheap and common stone that strenghten sexuality and gives sexual potency.

as for annointing the candle i'm pretty sure you could annoint the bottle and it would work fine. try to have a red one though. pink is for emotional love whereas red and maybe orange or for the passionate and lustful loves

oh, add something, some sort of scent that is personal to you if you want, that might help, personalizing the candle.

One of my absolute favorite things to use when anointing is something called "Basic Instinct- Sex Attractant"

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ourtown/basicinstinct.jpg

When you place it on your wrists (or any pressure point), it takes on a personal smell, caused by your pheromones. So EVERYONES will smell different. Though it won't right away, it takes about 15 mins. When you first put it on it just smells sweet. But give it some times and it will change. It's nice for anointing yourself, especially in the situation YOU'RE wanting it for.

As for anointing the candle, I'd say do the bottom of the glass. It's just going to burn off if you put it on the actual candle. Jasmine (sexuality) and patchouli (passion) are great, as is lavander.

If you can get a candle that is both orange AND red, that'd be great. Red is for lust and orange signifies encouragement.

As for herbs...rose petals, damiana, galangal root, lavender, patchouli, powdered orris root, CINNAMON (personal favorite) and verrain.

If you can get a candle that is cinnamon scented, that's always nice, though I would stay away from incense if you are going to actually be "performing" the act. Incense actually makes a lot of people nauseous, and it can be too much of a smell. I suggest a scented candle and a personal anointing. (that Basic Instincts I mentioned is amazing, I own some)