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3 cups cream
7 ounces sweetened condensed milk (the can is probably this size)
2 cups sugar
2 cups corn syrup
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons vanilla

Warm together the cream and the sweetened condensed milk. I suggest microwaving it in a Pyrex cup.
In a saucepan, dissolve the sugar, corn syrup and salt together.
Cook over medium heat until it boils, then let it boil for about a minute.
Add the warm cream mixture gradually over a period of fifteen to forty-five minutes, while stirring. This is why caramel is a pain in the a**. Keep the temperature at 242°f, using a candy thermometer if you have one.
It will slowly turn brown and thick, that is because it is burning very slowly and that's exactly what you want it to do. Add the vanilla as it thickens, once it becomes the color you'd expect caramel to be and hard to stir, pour it into a buttered pan (use a great deal of butter) and let it cool.
Once it's cool, cut it into cubes. You will probably want to cut it as you eat it, because the cubes will stick to each other. And everything else. If you line the pan with wax paper or tin foil, you will get wax paper or tin foil stuck to the caramel.

Makes roughly three and a half pounds of candy.

2 1/2 cups sifted cake flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 salt
8 tablespoons (one stick) butter, softened
2 teaspoons grated lemon zest
1 1/4 granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

This works best with a fresh lemon. If you have a fresh lemon, zest it and juice it. If it doesn't come out to enough, then you can top it off with bottled zest or juice.
If you do not have cake flour, then use all-purpose flour, remove five tablespoons of it and sift it three times.

Preheat the oven to 375°f, grease and flour two eight-inch cake pans.
Mix the dry ingredients together in a medium-sized bowl. I suggest running them through a flour sifter together.
In a large mixing bowl, combine the butter and lemon zest.
Beat it with an electric mixer until fluffy.
Gradually beat in the sugar.
Beat the eggs in one at a time, then beat until light. This should take two to three minutes.
Beat in about one-forth of the dry ingredients and all of the milk.
Beat in the remaining dry ingredients alternating with the lemon juice, beginning and ended with the dry mixture.
Do not worry about overbeating it, you want plenty of air in there.
Divide it over the prepared pans and bake for about twenty-five minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the thickest part of the cake comes out dry and clean.
Place upside down on a cooling rack and let cool for ten minutes or so, then run a knife around the edge to loosen it.

This is my signature cake. I've been making it since middle school.
I found this in an old, stained, cloth-covered but none the less partially destroyed cookbook called "The Old Fashioned Baking Book". They suggested lemon buttercream frosting, but I feel that I should warn you that the cake it's self is more than lemony enough on it's own. I'd suggest the boiled frosting in the next post, or just eating it without frosting.

1 cup of cooked shrimp, thawed
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon minced garlic
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon honey

This is stupid easy, and downright delicious.
In a small bowl or measuring cup, combine all ingredients except the butter and let them soak.
Melt the butter in a saucepan.
Dump the shrimp mixture into the hot butter, and reduce the heat to low and stir it occasionally so that the honey and lemon caramelizes.

If you are not able to make yourself a serving of penne on your own, I'm somewhat sorry for you.

1 cup of cooked shrimp, thawed
1 tablespoon butter
1/2 teaspoon chili oil
5 tablespoons cola
1 teaspoon minced garlic

Combine all ingredients but butter in a bowl. Mix well, coating the shrimp, and leave to soak while the butter melts.
Melt the butter in a frying pan.
Add shrimp and all of the liquid in the bowl to the butter.
Reduce the heat to low and slowly turn the shrimp so that it caramelizes.

I haven't experimented much with different sides to go with this, besides of course the remainder of the can of coke. It was quite nice with corn, one could easily skewer the two of them together and grill them as a kabob. This is also good if you want to not use butter. To skewer corn, take a husked ear (you could use cooked or raw depending on how long you intend to leave it on the grill, which probably depends on whether you used raw or cooked shrimp) and cut it into inch-thick discs. Skewer discs through cob, alternating with shrimp.

If you do not already know how to use a grill, you probably should not be using one.